High Interest, sometimes takes forever to reply

[BJP1991]

Girl I’ve been seeing 2 months now. Regular weekly or 2x weekly dates, been intimate and she initiates texts more often than I do. Hinting at future dates, wanting to text more between dates, etc.

But randomly, like once a week, she takes at least a full 24 hours to respond. She has positive responses and they’re not brief by any means, but after 2 months is this some sort of game playing going on? I know it’s not a huge deal and personally I am busy myself so I understand, but nobody is TOO busy to not reply within 24 hours.

Thoughts? Would you ever bring it up to a girl/plate that they seem to be playing games like this with delaying texts a full day between dates sometimes? I don’t overtext myself, she actually complained (1 time) that we don’t talk as much between dates as she would like. So I stepped it up VERY minorly and texted a LITTLE more than usual.

 

[Billtx49]

You didn’t mention whether sex was involved with her, but from my personal experience, when a woman doesn’t respond like you’re describing, she’s usually on a sleepover with another man …
Quite possible at only 2 months in that she’s in the middle of a branch swing, but still holding onto the previous branch …

 

[BJP1991]

You didn’t mention whether sex was involved with her, but from my personal experience, when a woman doesn’t respond like you’re describing, she’s usually on a sleepover with another man …
Quite possible at only 2 months in that she’s in the middle of a branch swing, but still holding onto the previous branch …

Sorry for not clarifying. By “intimate” I meant that we have hooked up before. Usually on every date now since date 3. Thought that was sufficient to label it that way, but apparently not

 

[Billtx49]

Sorry for not clarifying. By “intimate” I meant that we have hooked up before. Usually on every date now since date 3. Thought that was sufficient to label it that way, but apparently not

My bad, didn’t read your post closely enough. My post still stands though. When a woman is in the process of banging two men, she usually needs at least 24 hours between them to recenter her emotional base…

Not saying that’s the case here, but it’s a possibility to consider.

 

[BackInTheGame78]

I don't worry about text times. It's virtually irrelevant. People are driving themselves crazy about this stuff.

The answer is who cares why?

Maybe she is exhausted from something that's going on that day that you don't know about or maybe she needs a break from you to mentally recharge. Maybe she is spending the night with another dude.

The bottom line is you shouldn't worry about it, she isn't your girlfriend at this point.

If she is still seeing you and having sex with you she is interested but maybe she isn't 100% sold on you yet and still going through other options.

You freaking out about this would simply let her know she is right about seeing other people because you are insecure.

 

[Dr.Suave]

If you are exclusive, somethings wrong. If she´s just a plate, shrug it off and keep banging her. If this continues, do not give her exclusivity.

Edit: She´s either banging another dude or trying to game you.

 

[BJP1991]

@BJP1991
I think everyone needs to read your previous thread for context. How she asked you to text more in between.
Now that you have started doing that, SHE backs off, taking 24 hours to reply.

Don't underestimate this, it's quite intentional. Like you even said, no one is too busy (especially an interested person) to reply to a text for 24 hours, come one.

I would suggest saying nothing, go back to how you were texting before, and continue observing her actions.

In time you will know whether you should go exclusive with her/LTR her, or not.

She’s been doing the 24 hours to reply thing since day 1. It actually used to be longer during the 1st/2nd date weeks but has shortened up dramatically.

Oddly enough she did very recently hit me up again. This time talking about plans for our next meet up. Likely a combo of still going on other dates and a little game playing as well.

We aren’t exclusive, but she’s hinted that she wants to find that with someone. Meanwhile, I’ll keep going on dates with other women too and see how things work out.

Sidebar: Would you ever call a girl out for game playing? Seems like a weak move, but I’ve seen it where girls play games and I end up losing interest massively.

 

[Dr.Suave]

@BJP1991
In time you will know whether you should go exclusive with her/LTR her, or not.

My bet is he shouldnt go exclusive with her.

 

[Dr.Suave]

Sidebar: Would you ever call a girl out for game playing? Seems like a weak move, but I’ve seen it where girls play games and I end up losing interest massively.

If I feel like it in the moment, yes, I will call her out. Either that or just out-game her.

 

[BackInTheGame78]

@BJP1991
I think everyone needs to read your previous thread for context. How she asked you to text more in between.
Now that you have started doing that, SHE backs off, taking 24 hours to reply.

Don't underestimate this, it's quite intentional. Like you even said, no one is too busy (especially an interested person) to reply to a text for 24 hours, come on.

I would suggest saying nothing, go back to how you were texting before, and continue observing her actions.

In time you will know whether you should go exclusive with her/LTR her, or not.

Maybe it is, maybe it isn't but this isn't his girlfriend so anytime that's the case with me, it goes into the giant "Whatever" bucket. As in, I only control what I can control and I shouldn't be this invested to want to try and control that type of stuff.

OP can choose to disengage from her. If it's been happening from day 1, then maybe she has some weird hangup where she has to "check how she feels" after a day of not talking to him. Or maybe she is trying to actively slow things down because she has been burnt a bunch of times when she just leapt in headfiest.

Who knows...women do some crazy things that make no sense to guys but make perfect sense to other women. I don't even question it anymore, I just shrug my shoulders and keep it moving if I don't like it.

 

[RazorRambo24]

Girl I’ve been seeing 2 months now. Regular weekly or 2x weekly dates, been intimate and she initiates texts more often than I do. Hinting at future dates, wanting to text more between dates, etc.

But randomly, like once a week, she takes at least a full 24 hours to respond. She has positive responses and they’re not brief by any means, but after 2 months is this some sort of game playing going on? I know it’s not a huge deal and personally I am busy myself so I understand, but nobody is TOO busy to not reply within 24 hours.

Thoughts? Would you ever bring it up to a girl/plate that they seem to be playing games like this with delaying texts a full day between dates sometimes? I don’t overtext myself, she actually complained (1 time) that we don’t talk as much between dates as she would like. So I stepped it up VERY minorly and texted a LITTLE more than usual.

Women dont just "play games" for no reason like some egomaniacal psychopath, unless of course its highschool where girls are young and mean and don't care. Most of the tests and games women play serve purpose of some kind or another.

The thing is this though: Instead of over analyze what she's doing, think about anything you might have done? Women usually follow a mans lead, if the man starts acting distant and starts texting less, the woman follows suit. Most psychological tests stop when she feels she has you, and by has you I mean feels theres a strong connection. Psychology employed by women past this point is different..

Now a big thing you need to realize is, believe it or not, women are hardwired for commitment/relationships. If you do not act after becoming close and initimate with a woman and make things more official or at least make it clear of whats going on, many women will take it as you are not willing to commit, in which case they'll start seeing other men. For some guys their stance is unspoken just because they give off that "player" or "casual dating" aura to begin with. A natural process of seeing other men will cause her to respond less, talk less, and generally split her attention between you and another guy. For women its hard to split attention and the signs they give tend to be obvious. Even if they're not talking to someone else, they'll show you "im losing interest" by talking less, responding less.

The thing thats hard to gauge as there's just not enough information by any stretch here.. is what type of women she is.. These days we deal with all type of women and some are playing the field was much as we are.. and at any moment you can be fall in her rankings to other men.


Lastly, I'll leave you with a quote that may or may not relate to this but hat women often say "Is this just it? " (Is this only about sex?)

 

[EyeBRollin]

Why are grown men worried about text times?

Stop texting. You shouldn’t be texting at all. Call her up on the phone and set the next date. If she requests more chit chat, call her on the phone. Cut all this texting bullshvt.

 

[Billtx49]

Why are grown men worried about text times?

Stop texting. You shouldn’t be texting at all. Call her up on the phone and set the next date. If she requests more chit chat, call her on the phone. Cut all this texting bullshvt.

It’s not about the communication method, it’s about the unknown unexplained 24 hr/ week time gap …

 

[Stanley]

Is this casual or is there intention of pursuing a relationship between you two?

 

[EyeBRollin]

It’s not about the communication method, it’s about the unknown unexplained 24 hr/ week time gap …

The gap is irrelevant.. it’s indicative of trying to have a conversation over text. That’s a no no. If you keep the texting to logistics, does it matter at all if it takes her 24 hours to accept your date?

 

[Bokanovsky]

But randomly, like once a week, she takes at least a full 24 hours to respond. She has positive responses and they’re not brief by any means, but after 2 months is this some sort of game playing going on? I know it’s not a huge deal and personally I am busy myself so I understand, but nobody is TOO busy to not reply within 24 hours.

Her other boyfriend comes over, fvcks the living sh!t out of her and it takes her a full 24 hours to recover.

 

[member160292]

I’m the type of person that responds when I have a moment. Some of my plates don’t respond for hours to a day prior to me saying that communication is important. They change up that behavior really quick if you talk about it in a non-insecure way.

 

[BJP1991]

You still live in the 90s, calling doesn't work anymore sorry.

Bro, exactly. You call a girl these days and she simply won’t answer, unless you have massive rapport with her and are exclusive. You look 10x more needy calling a girl in 2023 than simply texting her to setup a date.

The trend continues. Full day to respond, still giving positive responses and indicative that she’s excited to see me. But again, full day to reply, 1 text per day most days this week (simply replying to logistics of the date).

When this type of thing happens, I myself massively lose interest. It seems like a lose-lose if this girl actually is just messing around and intentionally only sending 1 text per day.

 

[Divorced w 3]

Step 1, determine what this relationship serves for you.

step 2, approach it as such.

 

[BJP1991]

Step 1, determine what this relationship serves for you.

step 2, approach it as such.

The more that she pulls this 24 hour response sh*t the more I dislike the idea of continuing seeing her.

A man’s time is best spent with a woman who values that time and is deserving of it. This behavior is annoying and childish. I honestly don’t care how busy or “stressed” your week is, it isn’t a legitimate excuse. I understand being “busy” and caught up, but not to the point where you can’t simply reply to your text messages while eating dinner or before bed or on your lunch break.

I don’t believe in making excuses for people as to why they do things. This isn’t coming from a place of neediness but rather of common sense.