High flake rate from daygame approaches (help)

[LostAndConfused]

Been out in the field alot, and trying to build a rotation of girls but I'm hitting some major setbacks.

I'll have a great approach, great first meet with the girl, she's obviously showing signs of interest, but I'm getting high flake rates when trying to meet.


2 recent examples:
----


1) At a football game, I approach this girl and her two friends, chat for a little bit and invite them to party with me and friends afterwards. They seem excited and I pull one's digits who seemed most interested.
(after some back & forth)
Me: "We'll see. What are yall getting into tonight"
Her: "Partying on your side of the town
Me: "What happened with your side"
[flake out]


2) At gym, finish with my big compound lifts, now onto some isos and aux lifts. While I was doing deads, cute 7 does her workout surprisingly close. Keeps checking me out. After deads, I go to dumbbells to do my isos, and she's right there too. I approach with some direct game, tell her I think she's cute, she swoons and talks a little bit.

With her, shoot a couple texts the day after meet (just two back & forth), then the day I'm trying to meet (around afternoon):

Me: "Hey come party tonight"
Her: "Where
Me: "Frat house first then when it gets lame we can bounce off to nearby bar"
Her: "Ok well I had plans to go out with some friends tonight in (different city) but Ill let you know"
Me: "They can come too"
Her: "Ok i ll talk to them"
me: "fa sho"
[Flake]



Then I have a couple other girls who weren't really receptive over text (2 coffeeshop approaches, one club approach, one supermarket approach), most of them I just went straight NC and left their texts hanging.

I don't know why I'm hitting such a slump with non-social-circle girls, I've had some great successes in the past. My game/confidence has only gotten better since then, too.

help pls

 

[yuppaz]

Call them (as an experiment) , but not to initially make plans, just to see if she sounds like a cool chick you would get along with.

 

[LostAndConfused]

Call them (as an experiment) , but not to initially make plans, just to see if she sounds like a cool chick you would get along with.

different generation brah.

these girls my age actually will let the phone go to voicemail, then text you back "whats up?"


even a plate i'm seriously dating, probably about to break up with doesn't talk on the phone. she answers maybe 1/5 calls, and the other 4 she pretty quickly responds over text.


they like texting because is so much easier to flake, especially when you're quick witted like me.

 

[Burroughs]

Its all about social circle bro

cold approach will not work for you unless you are brad pitt or deal with uggos

any chick above an hb6 has 20 dudes orbiting her, texting her daily...if you cold approach and get digits you are number 21....you ain't getting your d!ck wet this way. even if you're ripped...mad dudes are ripped plus she may have caught feelings for one of her 20 d!cks.

meet girls around common interests hiking, rock climbing...you'll have an 'in' to get top 5 on her d!ck list higher if your looks are on point....then you make your way from their to #1

 

[Pimp-sicle]

At a football game, I approach this girl and her two friends, chat for a little bit and invite them to party with me and friends afterwards. They seem excited and I pull one's digits who seemed most interested.

I see two common problems in both your approaches, that your probably doing repeatedly without realizing.

1) Doesn't seem like your building much, if any rapport/comfort with the girl's after the initial approach. Then your going in for the close and then immediately inviting them to a party. What does this equal?

Random guy + I don't trust him + invite to random party = he just wants to try and phuck me.

Now we all know girls will happily do this stuff, but they can't FEEL like that's all you want because their emotional circuitry will cut it off before it gets started.

(after some back & forth)
Me: "We'll see. What are yall getting into tonight"
Her: "Partying on your side of the town
Me: "What happened with your side"
[flake out]

When a girl tells you we are going to be in the same area as you, don't bother asking "what happened with your side." Just go straight to the business and say something like "oh yeah, where at?" Then you can try and meet up at some point in the night and close.

At gym, finish with my big compound lifts, now onto some isos and aux lifts. While I was doing deads, cute 7 does her workout surprisingly close. Keeps checking me out. After deads, I go to dumbbells to do my isos, and she's right there too. I approach with some direct game, tell her I think she's cute, she swoons and talks a little bit.

Nothing wrong with direct game, I def prefer it over indirect in most cases, but I hope you had more to say to her other than "I think your cute." Again no rapport other than you verbalizing your physical interest.

Me: "Hey come party tonight"
Her: "Where
Me: "Frat house first then when it gets lame we can bounce off to nearby bar"
Her: "Ok well I had plans to go out with some friends tonight in (different city) but Ill let you know"
Me: "They can come too"
Her: "Ok i ll talk to them"
me: "fa sho"
[Flake]

You can't text a girl a few hours before an event and expect her to be all gun ho and go, unless she really really wants you. But the reality is, new girls who don't know you from a hole in the wall, will proceed with caution in the beginning WHEN you don't build rapport.

Secondly, why would you even invite a new chick who you have never been out with to a frat party?! Have you not heard of the lion's den analogy? Bring a hot piece of @ss to a frat party and all your doing is creating obstacles for yourself since there is a high probability that someone else there will hit on her and potentially hook up with her at your expense.

Instead call her up a couple days before you want to go out, be flexible and have a couple options (days) lined up so you can INCREASE your chances of her saying yes...

Lastly, in the beginning, always set something up low key during the week. Most chicks have plans for the weekend by Wednesday and sometimes even before that. But during the week, esp in your age range, they are doing hmwk, the gym and bs like that.

Set yourself up for success and your flake % will go down.

Def hit that gym girl up again next week and go out with her 1 on 1 to a Happy Hour or something like that.





PIMP

 

[yuppaz]

^^^ Thats the reasoning I was getting to, didn't want to have to point out why. You aren't building any rapport, then you are asking them out to bad situations for where your at. I suggest calling to NOT make plans and screening her in a smart way so you jump up on the rapport / mysterious possibilities mindset with her.

A young bull and an old bull are looking down at a pasture full of cows. The young bull, in his hurried excitement says "let's run down there are **** one of those cows". The old bull looks at him, shakes his head amd says "Let's WALK down there and **** em all".

 

[LostAndConfused]

Its all about social circle bro

cold approach will not work for you unless you are brad pitt or deal with uggos

any chick above an hb6 has 20 dudes orbiting her, texting her daily...if you cold approach and get digits you are number 21....you ain't getting your d!ck wet this way. even if you're ripped...mad dudes are ripped plus she may have caught feelings for one of her 20 d!cks.

meet girls around common interests hiking, rock climbing...you'll have an 'in' to get top 5 on her d!ck list higher if your looks are on point....then you make your way from their to #1

:crackup: :crackup: :crackup: :crackup:


This advice is terrible, for too many reasons for me to need to go into.

I see two common problems in both your approaches, that your probably doing repeatedly without realizing.

1) Doesn't seem like your building much, if any rapport/comfort with the girl's after the initial approach. Then your going in for the close and then immediately inviting them to a party. What does this equal?

Random guy + I don't trust him + invite to random party = he just wants to try and phuck me.

Now we all know girls will happily do this stuff, but they can't FEEL like that's all you want because their emotional circuitry will cut it off before it gets started.

I agree with this. Could have run a little more text game on #2.

When a girl tells you we are going to be in the same area as you, don't bother asking "what happened with your side." Just go straight to the business and say something like "oh yeah, where at?" Then you can try and meet up at some point in the night and close.

"What happened with your side" meant to be a joke. But point taken, I'll execute faster next time.

Nothing wrong with direct game, I def prefer it over indirect in most cases, but I hope you had more to say to her other than "I think your cute." Again no rapport other than you verbalizing your physical interest.

Of course. That's just an opener. I don't like wasting my time talking about something innocuous to get her to "hook", I despise indirect game.

I built up a little rapport, but dude, it's at a gym and both of us are trying to work out. I should have done a little more texting before inviting her out, /agree.

Secondly, why would you even invite a new chick who you have never been out with to a frat party?! Have you not heard of the lion's den analogy? Bring a hot piece of @ss to a frat party and all your doing is creating obstacles for yourself since there is a high probability that someone else there will hit on her and potentially hook up with her at your expense.

I don't have any issues with other guys hitting on her because A) I'm better looking and B) I have more game, more experience, better able to flirt. In fact, it would be a bigger threat taking her straight to a bar (the only other option), where I'd be at a threat to all the older guys.

Instead call her up a couple days before you want to go out, be flexible and have a couple options (days) lined up so you can INCREASE your chances of her saying yes...

I have options, I'm shooting for having a girl every day of the week.

Lastly, in the beginning, always set something up low key during the week. Most chicks have plans for the weekend by Wednesday and sometimes even before that. But during the week, esp in your age range, they are doing hmwk, the gym and bs like that.

So the approach happened during "summer, " its a little different during school year.

this is a good point, but in moving forward, the only problem is that I go to a top tier school where you really have to meet up with girls on the weekend, no other option.

^^^ Thats the reasoning I was getting to, didn't want to have to point out why. You aren't building any rapport, then you are asking them out to bad situations for where your at. I suggest calling to NOT make plans and screening her in a smart way so you jump up on the rapport / mysterious possibilities mindset with her.

A young bull and an old bull are looking down at a pasture full of cows. The young bull, in his hurried excitement says "let's run down there are **** one of those cows". The old bull looks at him, shakes his head amd says "Let's WALK down there and **** em all".

:rockon: I'm glad you posted this. Great point, and I'll keep it in mind during my next approaches. I still am victim of rushing too headlong into the *****. Oftentimes at a venue I'll just jump onto the first cute girl showing interest, and sometimes miss out on hotter girls as the night goes on.

 

[Burroughs]

Ah ok brah..I see you're just another keyboard jockey faggot who is stuck on stupid....good luck with building 'rapport' :crackup:

 

[oxford comma]

Ah ok brah..I see you're just another keyboard jockey faggot who is stuck on stupid....good luck with building 'rapport' :crackup:

are you implying that people don't get laid from cold approach?quit projecting your insecurities, and be open minded a little. i agree that social circle game is the best and easiest way to get laid, but there is a lot to be learned from cold approach pickup that you dont learn from social game. it forces you to work on all aspects of your game instead of just relying on your friends to hook you up with whatever girl seems to be around.

 

[LostAndConfused]

Ah ok brah..I see you're just another keyboard jockey faggot who is stuck on stupid....good luck with building 'rapport' :crackup:

What makes you think that? :yes: come at me bro.


If anyone in this thread, its you who looks like the faggot here.

I can tell you're quite sensitive, look at your response :crackup: . Oxford_comma has it right, you really are projecting your insecurities with your posts.

Let's look at the points, and I'll explain why your post was retarded :

---Suggests me take up a stupid activity in order to get laid. That's beyond pathetic bro, if I want to take up an activity, I'm going to do it for my own personal enjoyment, not to increase "social circle game" lol.

---Too close minded to think this style of game only works with "uggos" :crackup:

---Still believes you need jaw dropping looks to score on the approach. (I didn't need to mention it because this threads on GAME, I modeled end of high school til first year of college, I'm confident enough in my looks to do any type of approach I want. I get approached by enough women to be satisfied anyways - even when I went through anxiety several years ago I was still getting attention from girls on my looks. I'm confident enough to admit that I went through that phase in my life).

---Believes every girl has 20 "orbiters" texting daily. :crackup: . Are you fücking serious? Have you been with a hotter than 7 girl? Listen chump, they don't NEED 20 texting orbiters, they'll just flat out reject guys they don't need to talk to. Girls have limited time too, and talking to twenty men (or any numerical exaggeration you want to use) takes up too much time.

---"Even if I'm ripped" :crackup: I've been in the gym since the year I signed up with this site in 2007, I'm quite confident in my physique. You're wrong on the assumption that every girl is looking for a Ronnie Coleman. Some are. But Listen fückboy, throughout my years bulking and cutting, I've hit various degrees of aesthetics as my weight changed, and some of the most attractive girls I've been with have liked me most at a "lithe," low BF, relatively low weight; other times I've had some girls like it with size on me. They'll each have their preferences. A good scientific article "Is muscularity sexy?" verifies this (I'm a psych major at my school).

---""you'll have an 'in' to get top 5 on her d!ck list higher if your looks are on point."" Again, obsession about looks characteristic of a weak *****, AND believes that attractive girls have a "d1ck list" with that many names on it. Girls don't NEED to build a "d1ck list" like we men build a "rotation" - they have men coming and and out of their life all the time, they don't need to "maintain" a list of men are you fücking kidding me? :crackup:

---Believes I need to "make my way to #1" :crackup: . Nothing more needs to be said about this.

---Believes i'm not getting my d!ck wet. Ok, this point is pretty irrelevant, because I'm trying to add on more plates, and thats why I posted here, but Jesus kid, most guys would be more than fine with what I already have.


LOL I really didn't want to type all this up, but honestly dude your first response shows me that you really don't know what the life of a girl is like. At all.

There MAY be some girls out there who spend their entire day texting and talking to a long line of suitors, but those aren't the girls I'm going for in the FIRST place. I want a girl who is actually DOING STUFF with her life. The two approaches I brought up, one was a girl at the gym (a trait attractive to me, she works out), the other a girl at a football game (Ok I'm not the biggest fan of football, but she was cute and we had a nice back and forth over text), I did them because I saw girls I fancied, and I went for it.

Really, there's nothing you can say or do that will stop me from doing cold approaches. Your responses are hilarious, just because a form of game doesn't work for you, doesn't mean you need to preach against it. I'm not working on an area of game that many men will never try in their entire life. And a couple of flakes and rejections won't stop me. If anything, your post is just going to keep me out there so I don't become a jaded faggot like you, throwing out accusations of Keyboard Jockey.



Again, come at me. This was fun calling out your post.

 

[Harry Wilmington]

...but back to the ORIGINAL questions in the OP...

First, please don't take any of this the wrong way, it's meant to be helpful. That said, your approaches and executions are wack. This statement is purely based on the results given. Here's why:

1. The girls don't feel special because you're basically telling them to bring their homegirls along. No bueno. You may think it will make her more comfortable to see you if her friends are there; in actuality, she should already feel comfortable enough with you to want to see you someplace by herself. Like the others said, you're not building the right kind of rapport with her early on - you may be talking a lot, but that doesn't mean it's making her comfortable.

2. Inviting her to a party? No bueno. Aside from the "lion's den" theory, it once again doesn't make her feel special. If you want to impress a girl, you ASK HER OUT ON A REAL DATE. Otherwise, she just feels like you're using her for sex. It may be true, but you DON'T want to give her that FEEL. Inviting her out for coffee or a picnic would be better than inviting her to a party - parties provide no intimacy for either of you to know each other. It also shows a lack of confidence on your part - it says to her "I don't think you'll want to be around me unless others are around."

3. Assuming every girl you meet wants to party with you right away? No bueno. The girl you met at the gym may not be a partier. And, even if she is, she doesn't know what kind of parties you're into. It could be a Christian get together where you sing the lord's praises, or a drug-filled orgy - either way, she doesn't know, and she doesn't know YOU well enough to judge what kind of party it would be.

4. TEXTING. Good lord, I say this in all my post, TEXTING IS KILLING YOUR CHANCES WITH WOMEN. Text chatting is for gossipy girls. The phone should only be used to get dates, not gab back and forth with a chick - that's what LIVE conversations are for. More importantly, text convos are awkward and open-ended - you don't really know when they end, and if the other person decides they're done talking for now you get all butt-hurt and call it "flaking." I call it "not making definite plans."

Which reminds me...

5. YOU'RE NOT MAKING DEFINITE PLANS. In fact, it's like you're asking THEM to make the plans, which they don't care to do since they just met you. Asking a girl "What are you getting into later" isn't taking charge of the situation. Inviting a girl to a frat party at an unspecific time isn't taking charge of the situation. Not having definite plans makes it seem like, once again, she's just a booty call.

By fixing the above mentioned, you should have better results. To recap:

1. Get the number, then call them later to set up a SOLO date
2. Invite them anywhere BUT a party
3. Assume the girl wants to be taken someplace OTHER than a party
4. CALL them, or only text them to set up a date
5. Make DEFINITE plans, or give them the option of 2 places you already have picked out

Hope this helps!