brownbear.
Don Juan
ok, ok, not technically a "LR", more of a "BJR", but i'm chalking it up in the W column anyways for two reasons:
1. this ends an 8-9 month dry streak
2' it was one hell of a BJ
so after two great weeks of finding this site and sarging the hell out of every woman to come within my proximity, week three i just ran into a wall. i took a large hit financially and spent the majority of the week throwing myself a pity-party, just couldn't find the motivation to go sarging without a dime in my pocket. well i got some good news yesterday(you can read about it in my "sarging broke?" thread) and was all fired up to go out, wander the local pubs and hit on every piece of ass in sight.
i'm getting ready to go out and this girl i met during week one IMs me on the facebook. she friended me a couple weeks ago, turns out shes a friend of a friend, HB 6.3(although easily in the 7.2-7.5 range if it wasn't for that . . .nose. . .unfortunate. the body's kickin though, short skinny chilean chick with nice little perky t!ts long black hair and a great a$s)
her: brownbear!!
me: wassup hun?!
her: i was trying to say goodbye to you last week, but you were talking to some chick
me: yeah that sounds like me, lol
her: blah blah blah (for like, ten minutes)
-
me: alright, cut the BS, when am i gonna see you?
her: me and my roomies are having a x-mas party tomorrow, you should come
me: thats a no go, my boys b-day tomorrow
her: what about monday?
me: busy, what about tuesday?
her: busy, what about wednesday? (it goes like this for the whole week)
-
her: ok, next sunday it is, ooh i'm excited, what are we gonna do?
me: i dunno, i'm f#ckin broke as a joke!
her: yeah, me too, i just kick it around the house these days
me: i know the feeling, lol
her: i would invite you to come over, but i'm sure you got big plans on a friday night, mr. popular(i met her the night before thanksgiving, at a bar in my hometown where i knew almost every single person in the joint, and approached pretty much everyone that i didn't)
me: HUGE plans!
nah, not really (lightbulb!)
whats your home address? i'll google maps it
her: *address*(about ten minutes from my house)
me: cool, lemme eat something and i'll be over in a lil bit
her: yay, i'm gonna shower and vacuum
she answers the door in friggin three inch heels, make-up done up to the nines, shirt/dress thingy that looks expensive, probably designer, black leggings, hell she looks better than the night i met her(this should've been my first warning). i'm a little confused and ask her "what, are you going out?" she looks a little embarrased and hurt, kinda like "wtf as$hole? you're supposed to compliment me." i catch myself, and give her the obligatory compliment and smooth things over.
i've read a few reports on here about guys getting invited to girls houses and saying things like: "we were inches away from kissing all night" or "we cuddled and watched a movie" and the advice to those guys were usually along the lines of; you should've pulled the trigger, now you're f#cked, FZed etc.. so i made my intentions pretty clear with very sexual body language, deliberately "checking her out", giving her "that look", its kinda hard to describe in words.
she opens a really nice bottle of chilean wine and introduces me to the roommates, two slightly older spanish shicks and a gay dude, who all seem really cool, but are acting kinda strange towards me, touch and go like i'm an escaped mental patient or something. sure, i'm probably a little more attractive than this girl numerically, but i'm not exactly slumming it. i can't figure it out.
then the other shoe drops, this girl is f#cking out of her mind!!! she starts in on how great chilean wine is(which i agree with) and how great she is because she's chilean(which i disagree with) and bah bah blah blah bah bah, at like 100 m.p.h. f#ck! granted, this is how she was acting when i met her, but i just figured she was drunk and maybe coked up a little
i actually learned a lot from her roomates about sub-communicating with body language, we basically had an entire conversation with quick glances and eyebrow movement alone, something to the effect of:
me:WTF!?!?!
them: oh, you didn't know she was crazy, lol
me: holy sh!t, get me the f out of here!
them: aww, poor thing, well you just gotta suck it up and be a man for now
me: i'll try, (defeated, but still smiling, still confused, amazed almost)
they actually warmed up to me after this, i guess because i'm temporarily sharing the pain they go through every day
we finish the bottle of wine and she's still going full-steam, i'm starting to get anxious to leave and just want to get in and out asap(pun intended)!
me: so you gonna show me your stamp collection or what?(this gets a smile out of the roommates, esp. the gay dude)
her: wtf? i don't have a stamp collection, blah blah blah blah
me: (holding eye-contact, wait for it, wait for it)
her: oh you wanna see a tour of the house? (finally)
she shows me kitchen, bathroom, f#cking hallways, whatever. we get to her room, i slam the door and move in for the kiss, she cheek blocks me and moves over to the bed and opens her laptop and starts cruising facebook. i hop on the bed next to her and start rubbing her @ss giving her "that" look. shes asking me all these dumb f#cking questions about who i know on facebook, etc. little e-wh#re. i ignore all her questions and lean in for the kiss a few times and get cheek-checked. finally i close her laptop, tell her to shut the f#ck up and do what i tell her. she happily obliges and i feel stupid for not doing that sooner.
we're making out and i try to take off her pants/leggings, she plainly states that i'm not getting in those tonight. i freeze her out and am basically getting ready to leave when she starts telling me how she is the bj queen, ok, you've got my interest. we start making out again and she comments about how much she loves my belt and how she's gonna steal it. my cue to unbuckle i guess. she instantly starts knobbing, i'm taken off guard a little, but give myself an internal highfive. she keeps stopping and saying sh!t like "is the best bj you've ever had in your life?" talking about how she read a book or some sh!t. i'm like "maybe you're sixth or seventh", but honestly it was world class, second only to this fat chick i met from ohio a few years back, now THAT was a beejay! anyway, she gobbles every last drop, gets on top of me and starts moaning like she just had an orgasm, i figure she wants me to reciprocate, but doesn't.
she starts in on all the talking and questions again, which i completely ignore with a sh!t-eating grin on my face, until finally, mercifully, she falls asleep and i sneak out into the night.
a side note: she kept insisting that her boobs were D's for some reason, when they were clearly about a B (think paris hiltons size/shape with brown nips), effing weirdo.
so today marks exactly three weeks since i found the community. about forty cold approaches, three #-closes, about a half-dozen new facebook friends(some random guy messaged me today saying "you don't know me, but stay away from this chick, shes a crazy B!tch!!" good man, but a day late and a dollar short), and a solitary bj from a psycho(i found a script for depakote in her bathroom, which i believe is for bi-polar disorder). any huge victories? no, still got a long way to go on my game, but i feel as though i'm making solid progress. my next goal is to start meeting women that i actually LIKE!!
this ones got serious clinger potential, but she'll find out pretty quick that homie don't play that sh!t.
this doesn't in any way make up for my week of slacking, i got a big joint b-day/going away party to go to tonight that i will sarge the living sh!t out of to try and catch up to my own expectations.
thats it for now,
brownbear.
p.s. high five? anyone?
1. this ends an 8-9 month dry streak
2' it was one hell of a BJ
so after two great weeks of finding this site and sarging the hell out of every woman to come within my proximity, week three i just ran into a wall. i took a large hit financially and spent the majority of the week throwing myself a pity-party, just couldn't find the motivation to go sarging without a dime in my pocket. well i got some good news yesterday(you can read about it in my "sarging broke?" thread) and was all fired up to go out, wander the local pubs and hit on every piece of ass in sight.
i'm getting ready to go out and this girl i met during week one IMs me on the facebook. she friended me a couple weeks ago, turns out shes a friend of a friend, HB 6.3(although easily in the 7.2-7.5 range if it wasn't for that . . .nose. . .unfortunate. the body's kickin though, short skinny chilean chick with nice little perky t!ts long black hair and a great a$s)
her: brownbear!!
me: wassup hun?!
her: i was trying to say goodbye to you last week, but you were talking to some chick
me: yeah that sounds like me, lol
her: blah blah blah (for like, ten minutes)
-
me: alright, cut the BS, when am i gonna see you?
her: me and my roomies are having a x-mas party tomorrow, you should come
me: thats a no go, my boys b-day tomorrow
her: what about monday?
me: busy, what about tuesday?
her: busy, what about wednesday? (it goes like this for the whole week)
-
her: ok, next sunday it is, ooh i'm excited, what are we gonna do?
me: i dunno, i'm f#ckin broke as a joke!
her: yeah, me too, i just kick it around the house these days
me: i know the feeling, lol
her: i would invite you to come over, but i'm sure you got big plans on a friday night, mr. popular(i met her the night before thanksgiving, at a bar in my hometown where i knew almost every single person in the joint, and approached pretty much everyone that i didn't)
me: HUGE plans!
nah, not really (lightbulb!)
whats your home address? i'll google maps it
her: *address*(about ten minutes from my house)
me: cool, lemme eat something and i'll be over in a lil bit
her: yay, i'm gonna shower and vacuum
she answers the door in friggin three inch heels, make-up done up to the nines, shirt/dress thingy that looks expensive, probably designer, black leggings, hell she looks better than the night i met her(this should've been my first warning). i'm a little confused and ask her "what, are you going out?" she looks a little embarrased and hurt, kinda like "wtf as$hole? you're supposed to compliment me." i catch myself, and give her the obligatory compliment and smooth things over.
i've read a few reports on here about guys getting invited to girls houses and saying things like: "we were inches away from kissing all night" or "we cuddled and watched a movie" and the advice to those guys were usually along the lines of; you should've pulled the trigger, now you're f#cked, FZed etc.. so i made my intentions pretty clear with very sexual body language, deliberately "checking her out", giving her "that look", its kinda hard to describe in words.
she opens a really nice bottle of chilean wine and introduces me to the roommates, two slightly older spanish shicks and a gay dude, who all seem really cool, but are acting kinda strange towards me, touch and go like i'm an escaped mental patient or something. sure, i'm probably a little more attractive than this girl numerically, but i'm not exactly slumming it. i can't figure it out.
then the other shoe drops, this girl is f#cking out of her mind!!! she starts in on how great chilean wine is(which i agree with) and how great she is because she's chilean(which i disagree with) and bah bah blah blah bah bah, at like 100 m.p.h. f#ck! granted, this is how she was acting when i met her, but i just figured she was drunk and maybe coked up a little
i actually learned a lot from her roomates about sub-communicating with body language, we basically had an entire conversation with quick glances and eyebrow movement alone, something to the effect of:
me:WTF!?!?!
them: oh, you didn't know she was crazy, lol
me: holy sh!t, get me the f out of here!
them: aww, poor thing, well you just gotta suck it up and be a man for now
me: i'll try, (defeated, but still smiling, still confused, amazed almost)
they actually warmed up to me after this, i guess because i'm temporarily sharing the pain they go through every day
we finish the bottle of wine and she's still going full-steam, i'm starting to get anxious to leave and just want to get in and out asap(pun intended)!
me: so you gonna show me your stamp collection or what?(this gets a smile out of the roommates, esp. the gay dude)
her: wtf? i don't have a stamp collection, blah blah blah blah
me: (holding eye-contact, wait for it, wait for it)
her: oh you wanna see a tour of the house? (finally)
she shows me kitchen, bathroom, f#cking hallways, whatever. we get to her room, i slam the door and move in for the kiss, she cheek blocks me and moves over to the bed and opens her laptop and starts cruising facebook. i hop on the bed next to her and start rubbing her @ss giving her "that" look. shes asking me all these dumb f#cking questions about who i know on facebook, etc. little e-wh#re. i ignore all her questions and lean in for the kiss a few times and get cheek-checked. finally i close her laptop, tell her to shut the f#ck up and do what i tell her. she happily obliges and i feel stupid for not doing that sooner.
we're making out and i try to take off her pants/leggings, she plainly states that i'm not getting in those tonight. i freeze her out and am basically getting ready to leave when she starts telling me how she is the bj queen, ok, you've got my interest. we start making out again and she comments about how much she loves my belt and how she's gonna steal it. my cue to unbuckle i guess. she instantly starts knobbing, i'm taken off guard a little, but give myself an internal highfive. she keeps stopping and saying sh!t like "is the best bj you've ever had in your life?" talking about how she read a book or some sh!t. i'm like "maybe you're sixth or seventh", but honestly it was world class, second only to this fat chick i met from ohio a few years back, now THAT was a beejay! anyway, she gobbles every last drop, gets on top of me and starts moaning like she just had an orgasm, i figure she wants me to reciprocate, but doesn't.
she starts in on all the talking and questions again, which i completely ignore with a sh!t-eating grin on my face, until finally, mercifully, she falls asleep and i sneak out into the night.
a side note: she kept insisting that her boobs were D's for some reason, when they were clearly about a B (think paris hiltons size/shape with brown nips), effing weirdo.
so today marks exactly three weeks since i found the community. about forty cold approaches, three #-closes, about a half-dozen new facebook friends(some random guy messaged me today saying "you don't know me, but stay away from this chick, shes a crazy B!tch!!" good man, but a day late and a dollar short), and a solitary bj from a psycho(i found a script for depakote in her bathroom, which i believe is for bi-polar disorder). any huge victories? no, still got a long way to go on my game, but i feel as though i'm making solid progress. my next goal is to start meeting women that i actually LIKE!!
this ones got serious clinger potential, but she'll find out pretty quick that homie don't play that sh!t.
this doesn't in any way make up for my week of slacking, i got a big joint b-day/going away party to go to tonight that i will sarge the living sh!t out of to try and catch up to my own expectations.
thats it for now,
brownbear.
p.s. high five? anyone?
