High attraction but low chemistry

[mental blockstack]

When things start out looking great with heavy IOIs, etc.

Then after an hour, things fizzle out, she gives awkward vibes

Some would say this is strictly due to not moving in on an escalation window

But sometimes it's a date scenario where you had planned to eat, have little room to build physical tension, and things point to just encouraging her to open up conversationally.

Still some IOIs, but can tell she doesn't feel connected. A lot of girls are just less likely DTF and need this idea of chemistry first.

Any hacks or legitimate tactics towards steering this type of openness? Should be a basic 101 thing but it seems a bit lacking in the community for some reason.

 

[AlphaNate]

Some would say this is strictly due to not moving in on an escalation window

But sometimes it's a date scenario where you had planned to eat, have little room to build physical tension, and things point to just encouraging her to open up conversationally.

Think you answered your own question. This is why I don't like dinner dates. You typically sit across from each other and it's tougher to kino/escalate.

 

[mental blockstack]

Think you answered your own question. This is why I don't like dinner dates. You typically sit across from each other and it's tougher to kino/escalate.

But I'm also saying that shouldn't be the only tool in the box, even often kino alone won't be enough.

 

[Urbanyst]

Relationships with women should always feel natural.

If you have to force the relationship to work, it means someone is desperate.

When I go out with new women all I focus on is how much fun I had. If I don't have fun I never call her again. I don't care how hot she is either.

 

[AlphaNate]

But I'm also saying that shouldn't be the only tool in the box, even often kino alone won't be enough.

B.E.T. - Body language, Eye contact, Tone of voice. What you say matters less than how you say it.

 

[Skyline]

Dinner dates, or dates that have you not moving from far away from each other, should be reserved for deep in the dating experience with the girl.

My favorite type of beginning dates are movies, getting a simple drink, or going for a late night walk. Or even all 3 at once depending how well it's going.

I know people on here frown upon movies, but I have mostly good experiences with them. You talk to them before it starts and get a lot of kino in while the movie plays. In reality, the date is before the movie starts and after the credits roll. Minimal conversation but high physical escalation.

Short dates are always better in the beginning.

 

[EyeBRollin]

Your first date should always be drinks or coffee, with you sitting next to each other to allow for some sort of touching. Don't sit across from the chick. I had a chick do this the other day at a bar high top. She refused to sit in one of the seats next to me. Needless to say, I deleted her number immediately. Chicks that refuse to move close to you have no interest.

Anyway, keep the first date short. An hour is perfect. You have to spoonfeed them time because they will only want more of it as the relationship progresses.

 

[bigneil]

OP thinks it's because he didn't escalate?? Never touch them first. You're probably getting all huggy and happy like a Muslim man seeing his first blonde woman.

Think you answered your own question. This is why I don't like dinner dates. You typically sit across from each other and it's tougher to kino/escalate.

Not if you sit at the bar, or if you sit kitty corner.

 

[EyeBRollin]

OP thinks it's because he didn't escalate?? Never touch them first. You're probably getting all huggy and happy like a Muslim man seeing his first blonde woman.

Yep, this is the biggest thing men mess up.

 

[bigneil]

The biggest test is when you are seated next to her at the bar - see whether she rotates such that she angles her knees toward you. Ideally you will both rotate 45 degrees toward each other, and if she lets your knees keep touching, keep them right there. NEVER rotate 90 degrees to face her. You look like an as-sh*le. A lot of guys do this to a girl who is literally facing the bar! I've often asked the bartender whether they need me to go and rotate him back.