Hi, new here, old guy

[youngyoda]

Hi all,

I'm new here...except I'm not.

I first started browsing this forum when I was like 18 or 19, way back around 1996 when I was in university.

Got nowhere though I did have one girlfriend in my mid-20s.

I so regret not doing anything, now I'm freakin 34 and freakin out! So I've started to learn this seduction stuff again and work on myself at becoming a man.

It's kinda hard right now as I'm financially screwed somewhat but I can't keep putting my love life on hold till I figure that out.

Hopefully tomorrow I can make my first approach!

Better late than never I suppose...even though it only took me 16 years to do something about it!

 

[Buddha_Mind]

Sometimes man, we just have to go through whatever cycles in life there are until we really grab it by the balls and start to steer.

Ok, so you haven't been driving the last years. Well, you're behind the wheel now. Where do you want to go?

Have faith, start slow--change comes with time and consistency...

Are you making any other active changes in your life?

 

[youngyoda]

Hi Buddha,

Unfortunately, the rest of my life is somewhat in turmoil, mostly financially.

I've been self-employed last 4 years and had ups and now downs.

I'm looking to get back into employment soon. I'm still financially just above water as things stand now and when I get a job I will actually be better off than most.

I need to move house too. My flatmates are total retards and filthy b@stards.

At least I have more or less decided what to do. For last 2 years I have been in some turmoil over where to live. I used to live in another European country for 18 months but ran out of money. To be brutally honest, my heart still lies there, not just with the place but with the friends I made, real, solid people. My friends there are the best bunch of people as a group I have ever known in my life. Too bad I have no way to live there again as my financials just won't allow it. It's been very hard to "let go" but finally I am doing it as I can't see how I could get a job there, it's just impossible.

Where do I want to go? I'm not interested in kids. Not now anyway, maybe later although I suspect I would rather "give" of myself in other ways, without the huge responsibility which is something I hate generally in life.

I want the classic successive relationships, I would certainly not mind sowing my wild oats getting there. I do not believe in "the one" and I am actually anti-marriage. I have no interest in women my age, I prefer mid-20s. Lookswise I would go even younger but I know that 18 year olds are lacking in life experience compared to me.


I have lost some weight through bike riding and diet. Recently my diet has slipped and I'm looking to get that back in order starting today. I've also joined the gym to mix it up and maybe meet new people. I live in suburbia and its incredibly boring but hopefully I will fix that in 2 months when I move out, I plan to try and get myself a studio closer to the city somewhere. Right now I live in a small bedroom in a shared house, no place to bring a chick back to seduce.

I would like to start new hobbies that are social but these tend to cost money, something I don't have right now.

 

[baron67]

Out of my own experience...first take care of your financial situation.

Tackle it down and improve it as much as you can and gradually.

From this victory your new you will attract women.

Dont start building the house from the roof.

Dont make women the center of your priorities.

First improve your situation and then fill in the other gaps.

Again,out of my own experience.

 

[flashpoint]

well i guess you can be angry with your former self or just let go. just let go.

i tend to agree with fixing your financial situation being a first priority thing. just dont use it as excuse for not doing anything in the mating area. e.g it doesnt cost you money to spend a smile and a "hi" to any chick that crosses your path. of course you might not feel comfortable when things are going well and "she" gets somehow into your life (or bedroom). but ... you are who you are and you are where you are. so just be comfortable. you dont owe anyone an explanation or justification or anything.

 

[Buddha_Mind]

Brotha, I hear your financial pain. Hang in there. I understand first-hand how this can vaccumm suck from your successes and make you feel lowly and crappy. It sucks having no money, and thus no options. I'm sorry you're not able to live in Amsterdam where you like.

Are you sure there's not a way to go get some basic job there just to be with your friends? Wouldn't you be happier there, and maybe still find some way to overcome the financial stress? Are you working with a huge piece of debt? Or are you simply not meeting your current needs? Or both?

I agree with others, and this advice is also directed at myself: but until you are the man you wish to be, until you can generate the $ to take care of your issues, any LTR you try and engage will be a struggle.

It sounds like you need to put yourself out there -- social skills aren't something we all gain or gather naturally -- sometimes we truly have to work to develop them. It's not fair that some people are born with better abilities than others, but there have been plenty of people who have been the WORST who became the BEST.

Do not underestimate yourself. Do not prescribe yourself as being set-in-stone. You can change immensely in even 1 years time if the focus is there.

Find your strength my man--you have real goals and real issue you are working on--your honesty with yourself and desire to be better is the absolute best starting point. You're not ignoring things anymore.

Now is the time to focus and strategize. How can you create a plan to recover from some of your financial stress? How might you encouerage yourself to reach out and talk to more women -- no expectations?

 

[TonyBaloney]

Hi all,

I'm new here...except I'm not.

I first started browsing this forum when I was like 18 or 19, way back around 1996 when I was in university.

Got nowhere though I did have one girlfriend in my mid-20s.

I so regret not doing anything, now I'm freakin 34 and freakin out! So I've started to learn this seduction stuff again and work on myself at becoming a man.

It's kinda hard right now as I'm financially screwed somewhat but I can't keep putting my love life on hold till I figure that out.

Hopefully tomorrow I can make my first approach!

Better late than never I suppose...even though it only took me 16 years to do something about it!

Hey bud,

So what has been your head count over the last few years.

What do you tend to do of an evening time.

Im in London, and am 39 - we could maybe do a bit of sarging together, PM me if thats of interest.

What sort of self employment are you in?

 

[youngyoda]

Thanks guys. Well, I figured as much. You are right, I feel less of a man for my current situation that it would feel too fake to approach much at the moment.

I've taken some bold action. I gave my landlord notice yesterday and I am going to try and find a studio flat closer to the centre of London. My rent will double and I don't have a job (I have self-employment income) but I can just about pay for it if I live on the likes of ramen noodles!

I will start looking for a job too and feel much better when I have one. Any job will do. I just hope that I can find a place without people needing to see an employment contract, that's my only risk.

And yeah, I could've got a job first and moved later but my big problem is this place I'm living now is not suitable for that. There's like 4 people sharing one bathroom, all trying to dive in the shower in the morning plus I don't feel safe leaving this place unoccupied for 10 hours a day.


ToneyBaloney, my head count has been terrible. Just the one girlfriend I mentioned, that's more or less it.

My self-employment is internet marketing. It brings me in around $1,500 per month. Enough to live on but barely so. I'm really fed up of living on "just enough" for the last 4 years, that's why I'm going back into employment. The good thing is that these current earnings will continue when I have a job so I will actually be in a good position.

Yes, I will PM you, definitely interested in sarging. Right now I do jack **** every night. I don't really have the money to go out much and where I live there are just a couple of local pubs, not the best places for sarging. It costs me 8 quid just to go into London and back (I'm in the suburbs) so I don't make the trip in very often. But when I get a job I surely will.

 

[youngyoda]

Out of my own experience...first take care of your financial situation.

Tackle it down and improve it as much as you can and gradually.

From this victory your new you will attract women.

Dont start building the house from the roof.

Dont make women the center of your priorities.

First improve your situation and then fill in the other gaps.

Again,out of my own experience.

well i guess you can be angry with your former self or just let go. just let go.

i tend to agree with fixing your financial situation being a first priority thing. just dont use it as excuse for not doing anything in the mating area. e.g it doesnt cost you money to spend a smile and a "hi" to any chick that crosses your path. of course you might not feel comfortable when things are going well and "she" gets somehow into your life (or bedroom). but ... you are who you are and you are where you are. so just be comfortable. you dont owe anyone an explanation or justification or anything.

I agree with you. I have just given my landlord notice to leave. I will be looking to rent a studio somewhere closer to the city. I live on meagre earnings from internet marketing so this rent will swallow up all my money but I will finally have what I need to get a job (my own place). Right now, I would be competing against 3 others for the shower in the morning plus my place doesn't feel the safest, it just wouldn't work.

Yes, some would say a crazy risk, but my existence right now, a single room in a shared house in suburbia is pretty awful anyway. It's worth the risk I think. It's forcing me to change my life i.e. get a job.

 

[youngyoda]

Brotha, I hear your financial pain. Hang in there. I understand first-hand how this can vaccumm suck from your successes and make you feel lowly and crappy. It sucks having no money, and thus no options. I'm sorry you're not able to live in Amsterdam where you like.

Are you sure there's not a way to go get some basic job there just to be with your friends? Wouldn't you be happier there, and maybe still find some way to overcome the financial stress? Are you working with a huge piece of debt? Or are you simply not meeting your current needs? Or both?

I agree with others, and this advice is also directed at myself: but until you are the man you wish to be, until you can generate the $ to take care of your issues, any LTR you try and engage will be a struggle.

It sounds like you need to put yourself out there -- social skills aren't something we all gain or gather naturally -- sometimes we truly have to work to develop them. It's not fair that some people are born with better abilities than others, but there have been plenty of people who have been the WORST who became the BEST.

Do not underestimate yourself. Do not prescribe yourself as being set-in-stone. You can change immensely in even 1 years time if the focus is there.

Find your strength my man--you have real goals and real issue you are working on--your honesty with yourself and desire to be better is the absolute best starting point. You're not ignoring things anymore.

Now is the time to focus and strategize. How can you create a plan to recover from some of your financial stress? How might you encouerage yourself to reach out and talk to more women -- no expectations?

I have held the hope out long but I now come to the realisation that it just can't happen.

Sure, there are others I know who would drop everything and go out there and find something. Is it fear holding me back? I don't know.

The tourist market could go to sh*t next year (when they ban weed to foreigners). I've also realised that you're not storing up much of a future for yourself if you're working a hospitality type job (bar etc.) well into your late 30s. As much as I hate corporations, maybe they're a necessary evil....

In that sense, it's near impossible to get a job there if you only know English. The exception are these low paid hospitality type jobs in the tourist sector.

Plus if I went back, the housing situation is even worse than London that I'd be resigning myself to living in a shared house yet again for God knows how many years. I'm totally fed up of living with others, maybe it's an age thing...

I plan on doing the Style Life challenge, once I'm in my new place and with a job. Once I'm moved, all my energies are going into getting a job, something. Likely it will be just contract work but that's a good start.

 

[youngyoda]

wow i didn't even know SS was that old.

Anyway, only one girl in all that time?? What do you think the problem(s) was? Try to be specific.

Hey bud,

So what has been your head count over the last few years.

What do you tend to do of an evening time.

Im in London, and am 39 - we could maybe do a bit of sarging together, PM me if thats of interest.

What sort of self employment are you in?

Yes SS is very old indeed! I regret not doing more earlier but the regret doesn't burn me up or anything.

I don't believe there was any one thing holding me back. I really see myself as quite a normal guy, just with typical AFC-like skills with women. I have also been overweight most of my adult life, I don't think this has helped me but I know it shouldn't necessarily hinder me either, personality can shine through. I used to get quite stressed at work and I got quite fat. Even now, I'm still a good 7 or 8 kilos overweight.

My life has changed a lot in the last 4 years. I went to Amsterdam, then I had to move back and also went to another country for 6 months too. It's been crazy and I want to settle down. But before that, I was just working hard. I had a career change that helped somewhat but not amazingly so. I just worked long hours at work, got no recognition, "used" by companies because I'm especially responsible and conscientious about my work. Not only am I hoping that contracting will make it easier to get a job (which it should) but I am also hoping I can have a "less giving a f**k" attitude because neither me nor the employer will be as invested in each other as we would be in a normal "permanent employee" situation.


My self-employment is from web sites and stuff. I make around $1,500/month from it. Yeah that will barely pay my new rent so it will force me to get a job, any job. The good news is that any job, even a bar job, will radically improve my financial situation. Having said that, I don't want a job where someone my age looks like a loser in life. Not only will I sense that feeling from women but I will feel it in myself and it could totally throw off my game even before I've started. I am annoyed with how the world looks at men in their 30s. Your financial status including your job seems to be the yardstick by which your value to women is measured. And so-called "professional" jobs are those more likely to slowly put a man on medication, in hospital, if not slowly kill him.


Evenings I don't do much because I don't want to spend the money. I live in suburbia, boring as hell with only two local pubs. In Amsterdam I was drinking 3 times a week, it was great. Here I do nothing. If only there was a way to get back there, I just don't see how though. We are talking jobs with zero future.

I would love to sarge with you, I will PM you.