Heres what I think about Body Language

[HandyAndy]

Body Language and Your First Impression

Hey guys this isnt much of a tip but im hoping to turn this into a great discussion, heres why I think body language is so important:

When you look at someone you dont know, meet someone for the first time, or even when your with someone youv known forever, you can judge so much just by looking at them. This is more directed at people your just meeting or people you dont know yet. As we all know 80-90% of what were saying aint coming out of our mouths, thats why I think perfecting your body language is vital not only in seduction/pickup but in life in general. For example, an interview for a job; if the boss or manager sees your nervous and stiff like someone just stuck a pole up your ass, it can and probably will decrease your chances at landing the job.

On the other hand if its obvious that your relaxed and confident, the person interviewing you can see that your not phased by what most people usually say is stressfull and aggrivating, and you have a better chance at landing the job and less of a chance of everything blowing up in your face.

Whenever ANYONE looks at another person you IMMEDIATELY judge them, are they cool? Is he confident? He looks like a jock, he looks gay, is he gay or is he straight? Does he look easy to get along with or is he someone you dont want to bother meeting? She looks like a slut, she looks like a nice girl. Dont lie, all these thoughts run through your mind... guy or girl, and thats you decide whether someone is worth your time or not.

Would you chat up a guy in class if he never smiled, never talked to anyone, always in a bad mood, or would you chat up a guy who looks cool, fun, is chilled out and confident? Of course you would, because he is worth your time and can benefit you in some way (make you laugh, invite you to parties, introduce you to other cool people, etc.) While on the other hand, the guy who never smiles and is in a bad mood 24/7 (i know people like this) wont benefit you at all, therefore he or she isnt worth your time, they are not of any value!

Speaking of value, body language plays a huge part here. Ever see George Clooney, Brad Pitt, Matt Damon, or Tom Cruise? Lets put their fame, looks and social status aside, pretend they arnt famous pretend they were a stranger, if you saw how they were dressed and how their body language is so intact you would immediately think "wow, this guy is a high status male" or "who is that guy? he looks so relaxed and confident" When you have great body language, you attract the eyes of everyone, why do you think the "pole-stuck-up-the-ass" guy gets thoughts like "why does he look so nervous? why does he look so insecure?" and everyone is drawn to the confident and relaxed guy in the back of the class? Because he isnt INSECURE LIKE EVERYONE ELSE and hes not afraid of socializing with strangers!!! Why do you think insecure dorks dont have many friends? (not generalizing here, just an example)

So to summarize this all, people will judge you the second they look at you, so get your body language sorted to avoid a bad "pre first impression"

Ill post links when i get home, this is being written from my cell phone. Discuss please

Have a nice day

 

[dice]

nice post.. i agree body language is not just important, but VITAL to attracting people. Stone Cold Steve Austin said it best

"when your walking to the ring you're sending a message to the other guy. If you're shufflin your little feet with your head down staring at the ground everyone is going to look and say "this guys gonna get his ass whooped". I've actually seen people shake in the ring when I'm staring them in their eyes as I walk to the ring."

Whoever you choose to be you're sending a message, so why not choose the better one.

 

[The Inside Man]

Yes Andy, people often judge based on first impressions. BL is a very wide open topic that is not limited to just PU. Do you have any specific questions about BL, because your post seems to be a long analysis of first impressions?

That said... dice? You realize pro wrestling is fake and completely scripted correct? As a former "real" wrestler, I can't stand when people talk about pro wrestlers as if they are actually in competition that hasn't been carefully choreographed. Steve Austin would get owned by a college wrestler half his size. Everything you quoted him on was hype, because pro wrestling matches are decided and practiced beforehand.

Eye contact, to an opponent in a fight( a real one) or to a hot girl, has to come from a place of inner confidence.

 

[War Against Betaism]

Yeah almost my entire game is composed of body language and kino. There's this one particular moment that really defined the type of body language I wanted. I hope that I won't come out as racist with this following post...every time I see a black guy, he gives off this negative feeling. It makes you not want to go up to him. When you make eye contact with a black guy, he has this "I'm gonna fvckin kill you n1gga if you stare at me a second longer" look. Well, this one day a substitute teacher came in and he happens to be black. I had to use the bathroom and went up to his desk to ask for permission. As I was approaching him he was sitting straight up and was smiling. He wasn't looking at anyone, he was just smiling. When I saw him smile, even if it was for a quick second, I already liked him and felt comfortable around him. He was referred to as "black guy" to us and we would always ask for him to be our substitute when our teacher took her days off.

Though not only was he just smiling, he was really composed. He didn't look submissive at all; he had a cool calm aura to his body language. It's something I'm trying to work on right now because I naturally have this pissed off look to my face when I'm not talking (something I got from my dad). The ingredients for good body language is having a well composed, dominant, yet friendly aura to you.

 

[SinJester]

Read what you guys are writing, you aren't talking about body language at all!

On the other hand if its obvious that your relaxed and confident, the person interviewing you can see that your not phased by what most people usually say is stressfull and aggrivating

Would you chat up a guy in class if he never smiled, never talked to anyone, always in a bad mood, or would you chat up a guy who looks cool, fun, is chilled out and confident?

"who is that guy? he looks so relaxed and confident"

Eye contact, to an opponent in a fight( a real one) or to a hot girl, has to come from a place of inner confidence

Though not only was he just smiling, he was really composed. He didn't look submissive at all; he had a cool calm aura to his body language.

The ingredients for good body language is having a well composed, dominant, yet friendly aura to you.

People might pick up on what you are talking about THROUGH your body language, but body language isn't the solution. Now I think it might be smart to study body language to make sure you don't have any bad habits. However even you feel nervous as hell but force yourself to have good body language people are still going to pick up on your 'vibe'. When you are feeling good, relaxed, confident, people pick up on it. Body language and state (how you feel) have a somehwat codependant relationship. If you feel good you wont have to worry about body language, and if you are mechanically arranging your body language you will be in your head and wont be able to focus on anything else.

You are also forgetting voice tone, so even if you fix your body langauge it will be hard to conceal your state. There is also lots of finer body language point that we can't conciously control. So what am I trying to get at? Don't worry about body language too much, focus on how you feel. Work on not so much being confident as just being calm and comfortable with yourself in as many situations as you can. Face your fears with your head up, be social, positibe, fun, entusiastic and calm. The rest will take care of itself. You need to let go of others opinions about you, and find the love for yourself. Doing this will get you what you want, don't try and say it's just body language

 

[betterthandead]

I read somewhere about communication and almost half of it is done through body, 30% done through tone of voice and the rest is through words/written or spoken.

 

[War Against Betaism]

Read what you guys are writing, you aren't talking about body language at all!

People might pick up on what you are talking about THROUGH your body language, but body language isn't the solution. Now I think it might be smart to study body language to make sure you don't have any bad habits. However even you feel nervous as hell but force yourself to have good body language people are still going to pick up on your 'vibe'. When you are feeling good, relaxed, confident, people pick up on it. Body language and state (how you feel) have a somehwat codependant relationship. If you feel good you wont have to worry about body language, and if you are mechanically arranging your body language you will be in your head and wont be able to focus on anything else.

You are also forgetting voice tone, so even if you fix your body langauge it will be hard to conceal your state. There is also lots of finer body language point that we can't conciously control. So what am I trying to get at? Don't worry about body language too much, focus on how you feel. Work on not so much being confident as just being calm and comfortable with yourself in as many situations as you can. Face your fears with your head up, be social, positibe, fun, entusiastic and calm. The rest will take care of itself. You need to let go of others opinions about you, and find the love for yourself. Doing this will get you what you want, don't try and say it's just body language

Actually there was this one story in an office where everyone avoided this one particular individual because he emitted a negative and depressing vibe. They said he walked around with a sad face and slouched back all the time. Someone told him to walk with his back straight and force a smile, and the entire office suddenly found his presence more bearable and friendly. He said himself that he found himself more happy just by fixing a few minor things about his body so I'll have to disagree with you. Our thoughts are greatly influenced by our body. If you're in a cramped place, you're going to probably feel anxious. If you're hurting physically, you're going to shrivel up in pain within. If you're feeling pleasure, you're going to be writhing in ecstasy. To have your body language and mindsets operate independently from one another, well, that's not human.

 

[SinJester]

Body language and state (how you feel) have a somehwat codependant relationship.

OR you could have made him feel better and he would have naturally leant back. You can't really seperate them. You can't force a smile and look up and not feel better. Everyone here is talking about body langauge so I was arguing the other side of the coin. Being the PUA community I thought it was much more likely for people to take it too far with 'ok now sit like this, and she's positioning herself like that so I turn at a 45 degree angle''. If you practise your body language eventually it will become habit, of course you will have to do some inner game work as well. What you focus on is just as important as your body language, you will naturally revert to mimicking how you feel with your body and you can't conciously control it 24/7.

So body language is very important and what you said is true. Just don't think trying to change your body language will instantly create success. You also need to work on where you focus your mind and being comfortable with yourself (and your body) in various situations.

(There's also the story of the PUA newb learning body language and looking really uncomfortable and fake when he did everything he was told in the club! )

 

[slaog]

Ideally we all want to get to a point where we have a DJ mindset and what happens naturally then is you BL improves because it reflects whats going on inside your head.

Before we get to that place though it would be wise to learn about body language. Fake it till you make it as they say. Even against you're natural instinct have open, friendly body language and you'll soon become more comfortable with it.

Those movie stars have been thought how to move and they are experts at body language. Stating the obvious I suppose! lol

I started a thread on an excellent BL book called the body language project. It has helped me improve instantly because out of all the reading you will do on improving yourself a few tips on body language can really help you as it's simple to learn and apply.

 

[War Against Betaism]

OR you could have made him feel better and he would have naturally leant back. You can't really seperate them. You can't force a smile and look up and not feel better. Everyone here is talking about body langauge so I was arguing the other side of the coin. Being the PUA community I thought it was much more likely for people to take it too far with 'ok now sit like this, and she's positioning herself like that so I turn at a 45 degree angle''. If you practise your body language eventually it will become habit, of course you will have to do some inner game work as well. What you focus on is just as important as your body language, you will naturally revert to mimicking how you feel with your body and you can't conciously control it 24/7.

So body language is very important and what you said is true. Just don't think trying to change your body language will instantly create success. You also need to work on where you focus your mind and being comfortable with yourself (and your body) in various situations.

(There's also the story of the PUA newb learning body language and looking really uncomfortable and fake when he did everything he was told in the club! )

I didn't say all of what you said isn't true, however, body language is still very important to game. Your mindset is affected by body language and your body language is affected by your mindset so you can see why body language is still just as important as any aspect of your game. Mindset is still the most important and this was something I didn't realize until after a year I read my first seduction related book.

 

[bbestar]

This is something I figured out on my own.


What makes someone highly respect someone.
That person know that person is better then him.

Now watch this, a child knows to respect older people why? Because they are taller and stronger then him.

You can apply this tactic on anyone very easily. It doesn't matter if they are taller same height or shorter.

All you have to do is imagine something on top of their head like a basketball and gear your body and head to that imaginary object. Then all you do is drop your eyes down to the person.

Now you have the appearance of looking down on someone, with perfect posture and if your built your muscles will show.

Your thinking what does that do, subconsciously the person thinks your better then him because your looking down on him, which may make the person angry but all you have to do is smile and they will like you.

Thus they will respect you and like you, not a bad place to start when first seeing or meeting a person without saying a word.


You can apply this in sales, or a job interview. Even thought they may pay more for you product, they will say to themselves, oh this person is very respectable and likable I'll buy from him. On the interview, they will think your best candidate for the job because they will judge you in the very first 5 minutes if your getting the job or not.

 

[SinJester]

It's like when people wear dark sunglasses they appear more domminant because you see the submission of the eyes. I think the most dominant thing you can do is to maintain strong eye contact. You don't want to appear like you think you are better than everyone else, but at the same time you still want to be the prize.

 

[Outsider]

Hold yourself like you want to be percieved, end of discussion.