here we go again... flake, wtf is this?

pyros

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SO I met this chick two days ago in a salsa event.

I talked to her, had some laughs, danced with her etc...then I got her number.

The next day SHE TEXTED ME, we talked a bit, I set a date for tonight at 21:00 cause she daid it suited her.

Now, at 18:00 she texted me
her: "hey Pyros, I am sorry, but there is a change, I have to work tonight..."
I just said: "oh, ok"

Now she keeps justifying why she cant...


WTF IS THIS SH-IT????
 

Alexandar

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there was probably a change

she probably has to work tonight

dont get so emotional who cares?

and why didnt you tell her to tell you when she will reschddule the hang outs for?????????

i mean youre assuming shes lying so why dont you find out? her eagerness to reachedule will give you your answer....... wtf man
 

RangerMIke

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Low interest level. Move on.

If she wanted to see and something REALLY had come up, you she would have tried to reschedule your date. Think about it, she wanted to see you SOOOOOO bad that she agreed to work rather than go out with you. If she wanted to see you she would NOT have agreed to a work shift.... assuming she is telling the truth.

Women do this all the time because it's easier for them to just keep blowing you off until you get the message.... Take the hint and move on.

Don't be an @ss about it, but thank her for calling and say another time then, then hit the delete button on the phone. If you want... you can try and ask her out again in a couple of weeks, but if she gives you any resistance then next her.
 

pyros

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her new reply:
(considering it was her who texted first yesterday)
me: "alright, lets reschedule for another time this week. I cant tomorrow though, when does it suit you?"
her: "I had free tonight but now I have to go cause one waitress cant make it and I have to go every night until Sunday evening...:( I have a break from 17 to 20h"
me: "you have a break?"
her: "yes, to get some rest"
me: "I see... Ok, let me know when it suits you day/time then and I'll see if I can make it too"


I think she's being honest, but since she is not really rescheduling...I dont know.
But I do not like to play 'when the hell can you make it' game.
So I think I did it ok with my last reply?

I mean, this is summer, I can make it almost anytime...
 

pyros

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Ruler said:
So she could go out tonight but wants to rest? Low IL. No woman with an attraction level higher than 55% would say no to a date an night they're free.

nooooo, she had free tonight but now she has to work cause some waitress is sick.
 

Lozboss

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OP- Move on.

Chalk is down as a loss and move on.

You need to focus on your centre- you are letting one flake mess you up? You need to maintain your frame if you want to date.

Dating is a numbers game- it doesn't matter who you are- you won't win all the time.
 

Mr Wright

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You could spend your time speculating and wondering what this girl is thinking and doing...or you could go and meet 2 new girls and not give a shït. Having an abundance lifestyle means you never ask these kinds of questions because there's always another chick.
 

RangerMIke

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pyros said:
nooooo, she had free tonight but now she has to work cause some waitress is sick.
You are rationalizing her behavior. I know it's tough because you don't want to believe it, but she has low interest in you. Women who have high interest will walk on hot coals to be with you.

If she were interested in you, she would have let the manager find another waitress. Now if she was a surgeon and she had to save someone's life... well okay, but come on man.... really? I've seen COUNTLESS times where the manager was waiting tables because a waitress was out sick.

Go out and meet some other girls and forget about this one. If she is interested in you then she'll reach out to you, otherwise just assume she isn't interested.
 

badboyjmm

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OP: It's like you keep going to the same store, knowing that they don't sell what you are looking to buy, but you keep checking cause you never know...

Like the other said, please go out and meet some other girls. Flake and rejections will happen, you can't be mad about that bro. Actually, if it doesn't happen more often than not, you are not approaching enough chicks.
 

pyros

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RangerMIke said:
You are rationalizing her behavior. I know it's tough because you don't want to believe it, but she has low interest in you. Women who have high interest will walk on hot coals to be with you.

If she were interested in you, she would have let the manager find another waitress. Now if she was a surgeon and she had to save someone's life... well okay, but come on man.... really? I've seen COUNTLESS times where the manager was waiting tables because a waitress was out sick.

Go out and meet some other girls and forget about this one. If she is interested in you then she'll reach out to you, otherwise just assume she isn't interested.

hahahaha so funy... you know why...? because SHE'S THE MANAGER! so her 'excuse' is that she's gonna have to wait tables because one waitress is sick.

I think her excuse may be legitimate, because SHE WAS THE ONE TO INITIATE CONTACT after I got her number.

So I put the ball in her court, I told her to contact me when she has her schedule clear. We'll see.
 

skinnyguy

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Mr Wright said:
You could spend your time speculating and wondering what this girl is thinking and doing...or you could go and meet 2 new girls and not give a shït. Having an abundance lifestyle means you never ask these kinds of questions because there's always another chick.
Yes. I am setting 3 dates for this Friday but will only show up for one. If one of the girls flakes, so what.

You know that women are doing this too.
 

Harry Wilmington

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Look... there's a chance she's lying. But there's also a chance she's telling the truth. What you're looking for now is a pattern of rejection. Right now you've only asked her out once and had it turn into a flake with an excuse that may or may not be legit. Fine - test her on it then: she said she's busy until Sunday, so ask her out for that night or Tuesday and see what she says:

YOU: "Hey, I know you said you're busy til Sunday... let's do (x-activity) on Sunday or Tuesday night, which ever works best for you."

Then shut up and see what she says. If she says "sounds great," you've got a date! If she says "Oh, those two days don't work" but doesn't offer up a counter-offer day (without your prompting her), she's not interested. If she gives you a counter-offer day, and actually shows up the day/time of the date, she's interested.

Pretty simple stuff - but yeah, don't just go off this one flake. Even if it is a situation where she's not interested, the reality is your brain won't get it until it's been rejected more than once - so, in either case it's still a good idea to ask a 2nd time.
 

pyros

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Harry Wilmington said:
Look... there's a chance she's lying. But there's also a chance she's telling the truth. What you're looking for now is a pattern of rejection. Right now you've only asked her out once and had it turn into a flake with an excuse that may or may not be legit. Fine - test her on it then: she said she's busy until Sunday, so ask her out for that night or Tuesday and see what she says:

YOU: "Hey, I know you said you're busy til Sunday... let's do (x-activity) on Sunday or Tuesday night, which ever works best for you."

Then shut up and see what she says. If she says "sounds great," you've got a date! If she says "Oh, those two days don't work" but doesn't offer up a counter-offer day (without your prompting her), she's not interested. If she gives you a counter-offer day, and actually shows up the day/time of the date, she's interested.

Pretty simple stuff - but yeah, don't just go off this one flake. Even if it is a situation where she's not interested, the reality is your brain won't get it until it's been rejected more than once - so, in either case it's still a good idea to ask a 2nd time.
Hi Harry.

Our last text exchange was:
me: "alright, lets reschedule for another time this week. I cant tomorrow though, when does it suit you?"
her: "I had free tonight but now I have to go cause one waitress cant make it and I have to go every night until Sunday evening... I have a break from 17 to 20h"
me: "you have a break?"
her: "yes, to get some rest"
me: "I see... Ok, let me know when it suits you day/time then and I'll see if I can make it too"
her: " :( "

so I think I did fine. Now I should wait for her to contact me or I can shoot her a text next Thursday or Friday?
 

Harry Wilmington

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Yes, I had seen that exchange before typing my response. The way the convo went was actually NOT fine for a few reasons:

1. You became desperate-looking when you tried to get in on her break time. Yes, it sounded like she was telling you about the break as a way to convey she'd be free during that time (especially since she was telling it to you via texting), but it wasn't. And even if it was, you don't ever set up dates where she's implied there's a time limit 'cause she'll be on the date checking the time the entire time waiting for the deadline to come.

2. You asked her what I call the "question of dating death": "When does it suit you?" (which is a variation of "What days do you have free?") You're the MAN - you're supposed to be the one coming up with the activities and offering specific days that YOU are available. Instead, you left it up to her with your "let me know when it suits you and I'll see if I can make it too." I won't go into the whole "too many options = no options" theory, but suffice to say she doesn't want to have to THINK about WHEN she'll be available - she wants YOU to have an activity already thought out (including location and day/time) so she can just say "yes" and show up.

As for what you should do at this point? For one, she didn't send a counter-offer, so it's not looking promising. Still... here's what you do: assuming she'll contact you if you don't contact her, the next time she sends you a message, wait 2 hours and then CALL HER up. Before this, though, already have in mind a place you can take her for an actual date (be it a coffee shop, comedy show, movie, etc.). When you call her up, do some light catching up (no more than a minute and a half), then say:

YOU: "Hey, I know you said you're busy til Sunday... let's do (x-activity) on Sunday or Tuesday night, which ever works best for you."
Then shut up and wait for her to answer. Seriously - once you've said this sentence, stop talking. If she starts going, "Um, mmm, well, er..." don't say ANYTHING until she gives you an answer. No jumping in and trying to interrupt the awkwardness - let her feel uncomfortable, but let her verbalize a definitive answer for you. She'll either say "Sure," "Let me think about it," or "I'm busy." If she says anything other than something similar to the first answer, she's not interested.

And if she doesn't contact you? Hit her up next week with a PHONE CALL and go through the same steps. And for the love of GOD, stop having random text convos with this chick - I'm totally against texting, but if you're going to do it you should only use it to get dates or a meet-up - no more of this "trying to build rapport through text" crap - it doesn't work, and it KILLS relationships. Hope this helps!
 

usernamedox11

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pyros said:
her new reply:
(considering it was her who texted first yesterday)
me: "alright, lets reschedule for another time this week. I cant tomorrow though, when does it suit you?"
her: "I had free tonight but now I have to go cause one waitress cant make it and I have to go every night until Sunday evening...:( I have a break from 17 to 20h"
me: "you have a break?"
her: "yes, to get some rest"
me: "I see... Ok, let me know when it suits you day/time then and I'll see if I can make it too"


I think she's being honest, but since she is not really rescheduling...I dont know.
But I do not like to play 'when the hell can you make it' game.
So I think I did it ok with my last reply?

I mean, this is summer, I can make it almost anytime...

Dude, DID YOU NOT SEE WHAT I TOLD YOU TO DO IN CASE SHE FLAKES? STOP TEXTING HER, STOP TRYING TO RESCHEDULE AND WAIT FOR HER TO REACH OUT. HER BF LOOKED LIKE A CODEPENDENT BETA IN THAT WHATSAPP PIC, SHOW YOU ARE DIFFERENT. HENRY'S ADVICE IS GOOD.
 

Poonani Maker

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Fvck this hoe, move on
 

Infern0

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pyros said:
SO I met this chick two days ago in a salsa event.

I talked to her, had some laughs, danced with her etc...then I got her number.

The next day SHE TEXTED ME, we talked a bit, I set a date for tonight at 21:00 cause she daid it suited her.

Now, at 18:00 she texted me
her: "hey Pyros, I am sorry, but there is a change, I have to work tonight..."
I just said: "oh, ok"

Now she keeps justifying why she cant...


WTF IS THIS SH-IT????
Did you ever think that maybe she has to work tonight?

Bet $100 you acting butthurt and now she starts to back away.....

pyros said:
her new reply:
(considering it was her who texted first yesterday)
me: "alright, lets reschedule for another time this week. I cant tomorrow though, when does it suit you?"
her: "I had free tonight but now I have to go cause one waitress cant make it and I have to go every night until Sunday evening...:( I have a break from 17 to 20h"
me: "you have a break?"
her: "yes, to get some rest"
me: "I see... Ok, let me know when it suits you day/time then and I'll see if I can make it too"


I think she's being honest, but since she is not really rescheduling...I dont know.
But I do not like to play 'when the hell can you make it' game.
So I think I did it ok with my last reply?

I mean, this is summer, I can make it almost anytime...
No. "Ok cool, well let me know when your schedule frees up"

Ruler said:
So she could go out tonight but wants to rest? Low IL. No woman with an attraction level higher than 55% would say no to a date an night they're free.
She only had 3 hours slot avaliable, even if she had suggested it i'd not have taken "hanging out" for 3 hours before she goes back to work.
 
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