Here is the reason to get married... Now with scientific prove.

[Trader]

Hot young thin girls are sought after. And those are the only ones sought after...this means that if you are a female and you just happened to win the genetic lottery, you are a prize whether you like it or not. Conversely, the unattractive women are not sought after, and there are vastly more of them. Its simply a game of numbers. All males want the top 10% of females and those particular females who happen to make up that 10% only want the top 2% of males. So, naturally, the females that are desired by all the males get to decide what "they want in a man" because it is their right. After all, they can take less attractive woman's guy away, but the less attractive woman can't take her guy away. Thus it is a case of unequal power.

Same story with males who are naturally taller, more athletic, blah blah... and here's the big shocker you were looking for as to why:

Because they can. That is always the answer to any sociological question and it never seems to change.

You misread my question.

Obviously high quality males and females have their pick of the litter.

My question is why are high quality females not shamed by others for choosing rich powerful men

But high quality males are shamed for going after young beautiful girls

 

[bigjohnson]

My question is why are high quality females not shamed by others for choosing rich powerful men

Women shame both. Some feminized men even try to get in on the act and shame both, but it comes out sounding hollow from them.

 

[mrRuckus]

Fantastic! Its common knowledge that everyone wants a 25 yr old college girl

College poisons their minds and their comm degrees do nothing but make them think they're educated. No thanks, really...

 

[2crudedudes]

Problem I see (from somewhat personal experience) is that women with careers, incomes, and purpose in life, are WAAAY more demanding of men. So AFCs fill in those voids. A successful, wealthy man, is less likely to settle down or be faithful, which is NOT what these women want. A woman with no direction or income is more likely to put up with a man's infidelity.

Correlation does not indicate causation.

 

[WaterTiger]

Okay! Point made! For men, "Hotness" over rides "Wealthy".

But what if she's hot AND makes more money than you?

(The reason I'm asking is because the guy I'm dating freaked out a little when he learned I made $3.00 more an hour than he did. Before you ask. we've been going on low cost/dutch dates)

 

[DavenJuan]

Originally posted by Danger
How feminine is a woman who earns a lot of money?
How masculine is a man who earns less money than his woman?

a mans "masculinity" is not defined by our level of income. however, our level of income is sometimes subsequent of a mans masculinity.

it is an innate understanding fo the nature of the sexes. It is his natural instinct telling him that something is wrong. And he is right.

i agree to an extent. it is in lack of understanding from common practice. From what we have come to understand and know, its an expectation that a "MAN" provides for his family. but its "our" intepretation that the only way to provide is monetary. yes, you need money to clothe, feed, etc, but making an income less your spouse's does not mean you are handicap to provide efficentially.

I spent the last several years stripping myself of social conditions placed on me by the media and women, and even men, that i thought to be true. only because thats what i saw on tv or heard from some expert. i have learned to come up to my own conclusions of what a man is, and look at things from my OWN eyes now.

IMO, what sabotages the relationships of men who bring in less money than their woman isnt the income so much as it is bruised ego's. and their felt need to come up with a justifable reason on WHY this is. or even why this is wrong.

 

[zekko]

But what if she's hot AND makes more money than you?

Fair question. The first woman in the original article was 28 years old (hardly over the hill) and wasn't bad looking from her picture.

I don't really know how I'd feel about it because I've always made more, but I know some guys whose wives make more than they do and they claim they love it (more money coming in). Whether or not that's how they really feel or if they are sensitive about it I don't know. Guys aren't the type to let on about that sort of thing.

What is the likely future for the husband should the wife get pregnant?
Is he the one that will fill in the feminine role of nurturing the child while the wife is earning the supporting income?
How feminine is a woman who earns a lot of money?
How masculine is a man who earns less money than his woman?

More good questions. In the US 80% of the jobs lost in the recent recession have been lost by males. A lot of the traditional male jobs such as industry are being shipped to other countries. Most college graduates are female now. It looks like we aren't far from most of the money being controlled by women. It's up to the men to get out there and create wealth and fix the economy or they're going to fall behind.

IMO, what sabotages the relationships of men who bring in less money than their woman isnt the income so much as it is bruised ego's.

Yeah, because men are raised to fulfill a certain traditional role. And many men are finding it difficult to fulfill it because of the way the economy is right now. Naturally they are going to suffer some identity crises. Men are taught to be uncompromising and accept no excuses (look at this forum), so it is a hard thing for them to fail.

 

[MatureDJ]

Because they can. That is always the answer to any sociological question and it never seems to change.

That is the reason that Bill Clinton gave.

 

[RMM]

Okay! Point made! For men, "Hotness" over rides "Wealthy".

But what if she's hot AND makes more money than you?

(The reason I'm asking is because the guy I'm dating freaked out a little when he learned I made $3.00 more an hour than he did. Before you ask. we've been going on low cost/dutch dates)

I don't think how much she makes per se is important at all. It's more about how it usually affects the woman. As it's been pointed out in the thread, hotness > wealth, but more importantly, it's just about what men are attracted to.

Hot. Feminine. Fun.

That about sums it up. The wealth part only comes up tangentially, mostly because of how it affects those three.

Hot: You make the big bucks when you're old enough. Minimally important, as hotness can be assessed in seconds without uttering a word.
Feminine: Women who make big bucks are likely to have been fighting the corporate ladder and whatnot, and traded some of it for more typically "male" traits.
Fun: Traded for baggage when living the "independent womyn" dream.

So, is the money you make the problem? Not really, but many men will be wary at first of a woman who makes big bucks because she's more likely to be a ball-cutting man-like shark. If you're feminine and fun, then it won't be a problem. You can see it in the replies here, pretty much everyone who's answered assumes the woman will be more man-like if she's out working hard, long hours to get big money in.

What I'm curious about is why you discussed what you two make at all. The only people I discuss my money with are: My employer, my bank, Inland Revenue. Everyone else: it's none of their business. It's simply not the kind of thing that just "comes up." Why the discussion was brought up is probably more telling than the discussion itself.

 

[WaterTiger]

What I'm curious about is why you discussed what you two make at all. The only people I discuss my money with are: My employer, my bank, Inland Revenue. Everyone else: it's none of their business. It's simply not the kind of thing that just "comes up." Why the discussion was brought up is probably more telling than the discussion itself.

It came up because I've worked for my company for about 4 years & he was wondering why I was still "just a receptionist" and hadn't moved up to management. I told him that in the hospitality industry, the higher you go, the more shaky your job gets. The hotel can run without an Assistant Manager, but not without desk clerks. I told him I was making a fair wage & didn't want the headache of management. Then he asked how much I made.... and it kinda went awkward after that. (He works for a software company, and has only had his job for a year.)

 

[bigjohnson]

Okay! Point made! For men, "Hotness" over rides "Wealthy".

But what if she's hot AND makes more money than you?

Well it's OK, but I don't need her income. It's a plus I guess, in that we could build up a portfolio faster than I can alone, but really I'm quite happy with my lifestyle and I don't want anyone who needs something "more" than this.

On the other hand, I want someone I can trust to manage domestic issues, cook healthy meals, and so on. I could continue to do what I do now, but where is the upside in that? I'm going to marry her ... why?

A sweet traditional girl on the other hand offers precisely what I want and I only have to give up things I don't care about.

(He works for a software company, and has only had his job for a year.)

Starting wage in software should be at least $80,000

 

[sharkbeat]

I have a theory that being successful is nothing but a scapegoat of women's frustration over why fewer and fewer men want to marry, or in marriages, why couples fight.

Women can have ego bigger than men, but they won't admit it. This gargantuan ego can be so big that women feel their men are "lucky" to have them. This is my first red flag. If a woman ever boasted how men want to hang out with her, that's a good enough reason for me not to marry her. Subconciously, this triggers certain behaviors that contribute in the jeopardy of their relationships and marriages, but of course, women won't admit it, so they blame the outside sources and obviously, men.

I wonder if women ever ask themselves:
"Have I been being too much of a ***** to him?"
"Did I demand a lot?"
"How many times a week do I have sex with my husband?"
"Have I withhold any sex?"
"How often do I communicate what I want to him?"

This paragraph puzzles me the most:

“We’ve known for some time that men need marriage more than women from the standpoint of physical and mental well-being,” said Stephanie Coontz, a professor at Evergreen State College in Olympia, Wash., and research director for the Council on Contemporary Families, a research and advocacy group. “Now it is becoming increasingly important to their economic well-being as well.”

To my knowledge, it is women who already dreamed of their wedding dress since the age of 5. It is women who need the marriage, not men. Article written by women, for women, with large amount of chick logic.

 

[zekko]

To my knowledge, it is women who already dreamed of their wedding dress since the age of 5. It is women who need the marriage, not men. Article written by women, for women, with large amount of chick logic

That bit about men needing marriage more than women caught my eye also. Actually I've heard that before. Ever hear the saying "The wedding is for the woman and the marriage is for the man"? I think this has its roots in the more traditional marriage roles where the wife takes care of the home and kids while the man goes out and makes a living. The other part is that women like to have the wedding day where she is the center of attention and get to wear the dress ("oh, isn't she beautiful?").

I'm pretty sure there ARE studies out there showing that married men live longer. They probably have a more healthy lifestyle than their single counterparts who are out smoking and drinking in bars every night. That's probably what this lady is referring to. But I think if women are unhappy in marriage, it's probably because they are ungrateful or prone to depression.

 

[bigjohnson]

I'm pretty sure there ARE studies out there showing that married men live longer. They probably have a more healthy lifestyle ...

I'm thinking married family men also are (most likely) a lot more risk adverse than single guys. The numbers are for "life expectancy on average" after all, not meant to measure overall heath during the lifetime. It could simply be that more single men die young skydiving, motorcycle riding, scuba diving and etc.

 

[Warrior74]

I'm thinking married family men also are (most likely) a lot more risk adverse than single guys. The numbers are for "life expectancy on average" after all, not meant to measure overall heath during the lifetime. It could simply be that more single men die young skydiving, motorcycle riding, scuba diving and etc.

Their wives are the ones risk adverse, but not allowed. I'm planning a sky diving trip this summer and not a one of my married friends will go. The general response has been "no way man, my wife would kill me", or "she doesn't think its a good idea". One of my buddies is getting married, his wife told him the motorcycle has to go first. Women want to keep you alive to keep earning that bread. They can't have their investment running off doing risky things that will leave them and their kids with only one income, or none.

 

[FinalWay]

That bit about men needing marriage more than women caught my eye also. Actually I've heard that before. Ever hear the saying "The wedding is for the woman and the marriage is for the man"? I think this has its roots in the more traditional marriage roles where the wife takes care of the home and kids while the man goes out and makes a living. The other part is that women like to have the wedding day where she is the center of attention and get to wear the dress ("oh, isn't she beautiful?").

I'm pretty sure there ARE studies out there showing that married men live longer. They probably have a more healthy lifestyle than their single counterparts who are out smoking and drinking in bars every night. That's probably what this lady is referring to. But I think if women are unhappy in marriage, it's probably because they are ungrateful or prone to depression.

reminded me of a quote from bill maher about married men these days: "married men live longer. yes and an indoor cat..."

 

[Drum&Bass]

I havent read all the replies, but Im dating a girl that makes alot more than I do (for the moment) but she is very feminine and submissive and is attractive.

All a girl has to do is go to college and do well in school...Most of you guys act like its unheard of for a girl to be good at taking tests and doing her homework on time.

If your a guy and you love what your doing and your pretty smart..smart being you have the ability to retain information and use it in specific situations you would realize its not that tough..and if it is difficult, you just invest some time to practice. Is it really difficult for a girl to the same without losing her femininity??

Women that act masculine were probably predisposed to be that way from birth..hence why there are so many masculine successful women.

i dont think being good at life makes a woman masculine though.

As for guys who are wimps because of societal conditioning..I dont buy that garbage either. I think they are predisposed to be AFC's. If an AFC comes across a mature masculine man something will resonate within the AFC and make him realize that something is not naturally right and sooner or later a change will come !!


-Education and Employment DOES NOT make anyone more masculine.

-Being genetically predisposed to be who you are MAKES YOU WHAT YOU ARE.

 

[Rollo Tomassi]

You know, the case could be made that a good stripper would be exceptionally hot, feminine, sexual available and most likely make more money than the guy she's attached to. Should you marry her?

 

[zekko]

All a girl has to do is go to college and do well in school...Most of you guys act like its unheard of for a girl to be good at taking tests and doing her homework on time.

Fact is, more girls are doing it now than guys. It's no wonder they're on the rise financially while men are on the decline.