Here is my situation....

[fedagent]

So this young woman (Melissa) at work starts sending me daily IM's about two weeks after she finds out my gf (Steph) and I are breaking it off. Melissa knows it isn't over until Steph moves out, but Melissa starts IMing me anyways. I assume she has an interest in me.

Fast forward a couple of months after these IM conversations started and Steph has moved out.....Melissa now starts flirting with me in the conversations and stuff, cool, I flirt back.

Melissa gets me a couple of bday presents and rumors start flying around work, including some pretty loud and rude discussions.

A couple weeks later I tell her I have no idea what to get her for Christmas, she says I don't have to get her anything. She then mentions the rude discussions etc, which I know p****d her off....I ask her if she doesn't want me to get her anything......surprise, she doesn't answer the damn question......but later on in the discussion says she doesn't want me to feel obligated to get her something because she got me something. I then tell her I don't feel like I have to do anything, I just choose to. I ask her yet again if she's uncomfortable with me getting her a present, I should have known better, but still, no answer....

A couple weeks later I ask Melissa to help me shop for presents for my relatives and I offer her lunch. She says in a joking manner she'll only do it for money, but she never says it's a joke and the subject changes.

She still IM's me everyday, and even after this last conversation the next day she IM'd me at work from her home when she wasn't in work that day.

So I'm thinking of doing one of the following, in this priority......I'm thinking
1 is the best option with 2 as a very close second, 3 is a distant option, but worth considering.... Opinions on this girl? What is she thinking? And which option would you do? Feel free to write in one I may have missed.

1) Next her
2) Get her the present since I said I was going to, then next her
3) Tell her I don't think it's a good idea to get her the present
4) Drink a beer

 

[Bible_Belt]

Go out with her and at least make out; she might fvck on the 1st or 2nd date. Then when you get her the gift it becomes a reward, not a bribe. The problem now is that she has not done anything to deserve a gift; it comes off as a bribe. Gifts are ok to reinforce desirable behavior, but don't give the gift before she does what you want.

 

[fedagent]

She has to say yes before I go out with her, she doesn't answer when I ask.

 

[Bible_Belt]

Ask once, don't use words like "go out with me" or "date," but tell her you are going somewhere in particular and she would have fun if she comes with you. Just assume that she will say yes; ask for directions or a time to pick her up.

If she says no, act like it is no big deal, but then cut off all contact with her for at least a week. Don't answer phone calls, im, or email. After about a week, call her again if she has contacted you, and repeat the "I'm going here, you should come too." Again, cut off all contact if she says no.

This method frees up your time, which is better used pursuing other women who have a higher interest in you. It is also the best way to maximize this one girl's interest - being mysteriously too busy for her.

 

[fedagent]

Makes sense, thanks for the advice.

So I'm guessing you also think she hasn't decided what she wants yet? She definitely doesn't act like a lost cause to me cause she does other things like checking her messenger to see when I'm there and when I'm not.

LOL, she even went home and checked out all of the shows on a certain day and time because I wouldn't admit to what show I watched.....is that normal behavior for someone that doesn't give a crap?

 

[Bible_Belt]

Women are fickle, all that matters is how she feels about you in the present moment. Good luck. If she isn't interested, another woman will be.