Her=Sexually Charged Me=Virgin..Yikes!

[DJThirtyTwo]

Hey guys,

I've just started dating an HB8 who's four years older than me. I'm a sensual person rather than sexual. We've been on three dates so far. 1st was lunch, 2nd was dinner at a restaurant with making out afterwards, third was a movie with heavy making out, cuddling and touching at the theater. I think the only place from here is to have sex with her, since from what I read, without sex, there's no relationship and she'll get bored just going out and stuff. (This is just an assumption I have that she'd want to have sex.) I truly want a relationship with her. She is really into me a lot and we each randomly initiate forms of kino.

Problem is, I'm a virgin due to faith and upbringing. I know all of you advise to have sex, but my values go against it. Next date, I was planning to go meet up with her for dinner near her place (so she can get familiar with me being in her place,) then go to her place (if she's even comfortable to do that yet, another assumption) make out alot (that's a given) and worst case (for me) just cuddle, fall asleep and wake up with her, or else just leave before then. Maybe get together on Sunday many hours before the SuperBowl and leave with my excuse being that I have to go to a SB party. Would this be better as a way to avoid anything that may happen? And then valentine's day is coming, even more yikes! LOL. Should I play the "I need to fall in love first" card and tell her I need more time?

Should I just join a Christian dating site and forget about her/wait till she dumps me and have fun with it? Please help. I have two "values" opposing each other, DJism and God, and God wins all the time.

 

[KontrollerX]

As a former hardcore Christian I can tell you that the Bible is loaded with contradictions.

There's a verse that says its ok to drink and another verse that says its not ok to drink.

There's loads more contradictions listed in the skeptics annotated bible website if you're interested.

Which is to say the Bible is pretty flimsy as a consistant moral guide post for one's life.

Also if you ever want to unplug from this stuff infidelguy.com and exchristian.net are excellent places to get started.

If you are unwilling to leave the fold I see two options staring you in the face...

1. Get rid of this chick who wants your c0ck badly and go to the Christian dating site and hope you find that one special lady.

Or...

2. Fvck this chick that wants you and apologize to God and JC for it afterwards and every time there after in which it happens.

The second one works for most modern day Christians so you might as well join in on the festivities.

JC will of course forgive you.

Good luck!

 

[Señor Fingers]

The Bible is a treasure trove of wisdom, but a lot of things are very antiquated and dont apply to modern society. If you were that much of a purist, then eating pork or shellfish would give you the same anxiety.

Personally, I have to disagree with the Biblical stance that fornication is a sin. If you ever doubt it, ask yourself why sex is considered wrong, but slavery was ok in biblical times.

All the same, no one here can make this call for you. It's your path to walk and you must find the Truth within yourself.

What has ultimately given me peace in my "sinful" lifestyle is knowing that my intentions are good and I show love. The good book says that God's grace and mercy is infinite for those that understand and practice love. Sex itself is not wrong-doing, it's the abuse and misuse of it that cause problems.

Whatever you do, don't rush into this. Sort out where you stand before you take the plunge. It has to be your choice.

 

[reset]

Well you're in a bind. You are true to your faith (the way you understand it) and at the same time want to keep a chick. Kind of a lose/lose.

At 32 you deserve it. You're doing what comes natural to you. You're not hurting anyone.

If your own son was your age, with this dilemma, and ended up having sex, and you found out, what would be your reaction to him? Probably one of love. Understanding.

You probably wouldn't take him to the top of an active volcano and drop him in hot lava.

This is much, much bigger than sex.

 

[DJThirtyTwo]

Thanks for all the replies, I appreciate it. You're right, I'm in a bind. I need to give and receive affection but can't have sex. I guess I'll just go with the flow, "manipulate" the situations to avoid intercourse and if she ends up dumping me then, no big deal. I'm immune to rejection (thanks bootcamp!) Next I'll just go find myself a cute (true) Christian girl or just be alone whichever comes first.

 

[reset]

Yikes is right. Be true to yourself. Just realize that human nature unfortunately isn't wired to be like the bible wants it to be. Normally you'd think well it's Satan giving you these urges. I respectfully say BS. You're a man, a male mammal and it's normal to screw.

Whatever you end up doing, don't beat yourself up.

 

[MacAvoy]

I would go on another date with her, get into the petting but just don't take it any further than that. Most women won't get aggressive. The next date after that, just go to a restaurant where it can't elevate, go home or say your busy afterwards.

By then you should have enough rapport built with this women to sit her down and have a talk with her and let her decide if she's willing to wait.

 

[joekerr31]

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=u1kqqMXWEFs

God is laughing his *ss off at this.

 

[Maxtro]

You're right, I'm in a bind. I need to give and receive affection but can't have sex.

Why do YOU believe that you can't have sex?

 

[joekerr31]

Problem is, I'm a virgin due to faith and upbringing. I know all of you advise to have sex, but my values go against it.

you need to ask yourself: do you think the rest of us are going to hell?

god gave you a d*ck, and he said unto that d*ck 'you shall rise and be a glorious d*ck and be fruitful and multiple and create many little d*cks'

being a man***** isn't good, as it tends to lead to regret. but not having sex until you are married is no longer realistic in today's world unless you live in a mormon community or something.

if you were going to follow the church path then you should have gotten married when you were younger, got your sex, got a divorce, and then realized that there are limitations to the bible in today's world.

moreover, God won't hate you for sinning. Jesus came here FOR the sinners.

but anyway, the real issue isn't whether to sleep with this chic or not. the real issue is that if you DO sleep with her, part of you is turning your back on your beliefs.

so the real question you have to ask yourself is whether you really believe the things you have been taught.

 

[guru1000]

Reminds me of Devils Advocate when Al PAchino says GOD says "Look but dont touch, touch but dont taste, taste but dont swallow and while you are jumping from one foot to the next, he is laughing his ass off."

 

[cordoncordon]

Dj32

Watch the first third of this movie, especially from about the 7 minute mark in, and THEN tell me you still want to devote your life to a religion that got its start from the stars. It's all BS man. A man made creation.

And if you get time, watch all of this movie. It's pretty interesting.

http://www.zeitgeistmovie.com/

 

[guru1000]

Want to add,

Dj32, Continue doing what you BELEIVE in. When you stand for nothing, you fall for everything. Very respectable to hold out into your thirties. At the end of the day we all die. All you are left with is your INTEGRITY. I wish I knew more SOLDIERS. Do not sell yourself out.

 

[speed dawg]

Ok Dj32.......

I too am a devoted Christian. First things first, I urge you NOT to listen to the replies of ANYONE in this forum who bashes Christianity. To each his own, but that is not the advice you need at this point.

I signed the "True love waits" card in high school, you might be familiar with it. But in reality, you are being naive about everything. You have to look at the symbology in the Bible. We all sin, even Believers. In those times, people got married at 13 years old, many died just as young. Who's to know what type of legal ramifications marriage had back then?

In a perfect world, we still all be virgins. In this ever-changing society, you will get left behind. I hate it, but then again, I sin every day as it is. You have to make the choice as to what is right.

You can still be a DJ and not have sex, contradictory to what many will tell you. Another analogy is looking at the uphill battle that DJism is in this feminine driven liberal society, and Christian morals are just as uphill as that is.

 

[joekerr31]

You can still be a DJ and not have sex, contradictory to what many will tell you. Another analogy is looking at the uphill battle that DJism is in this feminine driven liberal society, and Christian morals are just as uphill as that is.

you can also punch yourself in the balls and smear sh*t on your face, but i dont know why you'd want to

not really sure what the point of flirting and building sexual tension with a woman is if you don't get a release from it at some point.

most guys, regardless of their religious beliefs, can only keep their natural instincts at bay for so long once they are in a relationship with a woman.

 

[reset]

You mean sinful instincts inspired by Satan.
D'oh! Just kidding. Even though I participated, yeah if it gets too religious, it's going to cloud the issue. Sort of.

The guy is living his life based on a set of standards that don't seem to be congruent with what he truly wants. That disconnect is the real issue.

 

[reset]

The thing is the tension between you and her is driving her wild no doubt. I bet it's rare she has had a guy hold back for so long, so for now she's happy.

Really? I thought if she was hot and bothered and you didn't escalate you're on the way to friend zone.

 

[KontrollerX]

Something to keep in mind is if DJThirtytwo gets her all filled with sexual tension and doesn't give her the c0ck she's going to get it from someother guy and what a lucky guy that man will be since by that point she'll be so pent up and looking for release she'll let the new guy do just about anything he wants to her sexually.

DJThirtytwo has done all the work for that guy with no payoff for himself.

A real shame for him but not for the lucky guy who he's building her up for.

 

[Mr.Positive]

I have two "values" opposing each other, DJism and God, and God wins all the time.

DJ32, I commend you on your strength for holding true to your values. That is admirable, in a world where having that strength is often seen as a weakness. Be true to yourself.

Secondly, I commend you on being bold enough to post your question here? What were you thinking man?!?

Seriously, I really think you should ask yourself, how far your faith is willing to let you go with a woman. What I mean is, there is a lot of ways to sexually satisfy a woman without having sex, intercourse, that is.

Also, as long as you keep up establishing intimacy with this woman, and such, you can keep from being friend-zoned. However, you should know beforehand "how far" you are willing to go.

 

[alnite]

The Bible is a treasure trove of wisdom, but a lot of things are very antiquated and dont apply to modern society. If you were that much of a purist, then eating pork or shellfish would give you the same anxiety.

Personally, I have to disagree with the Biblical stance that fornication is a sin. If you ever doubt it, ask yourself why sex is considered wrong, but slavery was ok in biblical times.

All the same, no one here can make this call for you. It's your path to walk and you must find the Truth within yourself.

What has ultimately given me peace in my "sinful" lifestyle is knowing that my intentions are good and I show love. The good book says that God's grace and mercy is infinite for those that understand and practice love. Sex itself is not wrong-doing, it's the abuse and misuse of it that cause problems.

Whatever you do, don't rush into this. Sort out where you stand before you take the plunge. It has to be your choice.

Seconded.

Let me put it in bigger fonts
It has to be your choice.

And whatever it is, don't regret it.