Her ex is her best friend

[GS750]

Yeah the whole staying in contact/friends with the ex thing is bullsh*t. Especially if she is the one who is doing most of the contacting. She's not ready to let him go, and keeps him in the picture for a selfish reason(s). Could be boredom, attention, interest, etc. If her interest in you was high enough and her attraction for you was high enough she wouldn't be doing anything to risk losing you, like staying in touch with an ex. So, as mentioned, you walk away from it and she can have just him for now. See how she likes that. By the way OP, were you a rebound in the scenario? How long had they been separated before you came into the picture?

 

[phil2015]

Gs750 they were together 18 months but split in April this year, and officially called it quits on 28th June

Think I may be the but of a rebound from the looks of things. Either way, you guys have enlightened me to a level of disrespect I had not seen up until this point

 

[pyros]

see this, I had a similar situation once. I started dating this chick who was dumped by her bf four months before she met me. We went on seven dates, had sex once.

Almost everytime we met she had to comment something about her ex like:
her: you know I still have fellings...
her: its hard to let him go...
her: he just came to see me today..

Soooo...after seven dates and having sex, it seems the guy wanted her back so she went back to him. End of story...

At least I just wanted her as a FWB so no worries but...

 

[phil2015]

Update:

Just as an update to the situation, she told me she was going to her exes house for food, a film and to walk the dog on Thursday night.

I called her up outright on it on Wednesday and split point-blank with her over the phone. She accused me of being insecure, jealous etc but my answer was simply that I've no time for that kind of dis functional, complicated stuff within my life.

She's gone a bit strange since then, constant messages, texts, etc.

It would appear that she has some difficulty in letting go.

Is there anything else I can garner from this situation? Any way you guys would act/play it different from now on?

 

[zekko]

Go no contact because you're looking for other girls who come without this bs and just use this one as a cvm dump in between.

How can you be no contact with a girl while using her as a cvm dumpster? I would just drop her completely.

She accused me of being insecure, jealous etc but my answer was simply that I've no time for that kind of dis functional, complicated stuff within my life.

Women are conditioned into accusing you of that stuff just as knee-jerk reaction. Why not? For most guys, it works. Meanwhile, they get to go do whatever they please without consequences. In fact, there are posters on here who will tell you the same thing - if you object to her orbiters then you are jealous, insecure, controlling, etc. Don't buy into it. I like the answer you gave her. Now stick to your guns. Mean what you say and cut her out of your life. You can do better. It sounds like you are trying to find a way to keep her.

 

[narcissist]

Update:

Just as an update to the situation, she told me she was going to her exes house for food, a film and to walk the dog on Thursday night.

I called her up outright on it on Wednesday and split point-blank with her over the phone. She accused me of being insecure, jealous etc but my answer was simply that I've no time for that kind of dis functional, complicated stuff within my life.

She's gone a bit strange since then, constant messages, texts, etc.

It would appear that she has some difficulty in letting go.

Is there anything else I can garner from this situation? Any way you guys would act/play it different from now on?

NO CONTACT NO CONTACT NO CONTACT!

 

[narcissist]

Update:

Just as an update to the situation, she told me she was going to her exes house for food, a film and to walk the dog on Thursday night.

I called her up outright on it on Wednesday and split point-blank with her over the phone. She accused me of being insecure, jealous etc but my answer was simply that I've no time for that kind of dis functional, complicated stuff within my life.

She's gone a bit strange since then, constant messages, texts, etc.

It would appear that she has some difficulty in letting go.

Is there anything else I can garner from this situation? Any way you guys would act/play it different from now on?

Delete her number, delete her Facebook, delete her social media, and get ready to test your will power.

Dude if you don't grow your balls, girls will never ever treat you with respect. This girl clearly still wants this ex in the picture and is most likely fvcking him. How could you let someone disrespect you so blatantly like that!

Go no contact. RIGHT NOW. If your next update isn't saying day 5 no contact then you really dont give a sh*t about people respecting you or not.

 

[pyros]

this ex gf of yours is a dirty, manipulative bit-ch. Really, get rid of her and never speak to her again, unless you want huge drama and trouble in your life of course.

 

[SgtSplacker]

I have a policy of not dropping any women unless she just really steps out of line.

"Never jeopardize a cooch"

When I meet a girl that still hangs with her EX or any guys for that matter i'll just calmly tell her that i'm glad I don't have to cut off any of my girlfriends.

Then just proceed to keep banging her and date other women, easy as that.

Win win situation.

This girl is obviously not GF material, she's not serious about you. And it's stupid to think it's OK to be spending time with an EX while you are in a relationship.

 

[phil2015]

Cheers for the advice fellas..

Decided earlier that life is too short, did some weights, sit ups then got dressed and went out....no point sitting around worrying about things, when I can alter the present. In respect to NC, she knew I was going out and has blown up my phone this evening big time.

One thing I'm curious about though;

Rather that confront and then split her regarding her ex bf the other night on the phone, was there a better or more 'alpha' way I could of played that?

And was it AFC to get my back up concerning the unnaturally close relationship with her ex?
Would doc love or someone who knows the score better have kept it going?

 

[phil2015]

Update;

Went NC with her during the week, stuck to it, but got home last night to find her parked outside my house.

As soon as I arrive, she gets out and asks why I'd been ignoring her. Told her its no longer her concern, and asked her to move her car from my parking bay. She then goes wild and states that I must have something 'mentally wrong' with me if I think the strange relationship she has with her ex is not normal.

Then on my porch she started talking about something, but I shut the door and went inside mid sentence.

Haven't heard from her since

 

[pyros]

crazy bit-ch...

In her world of perfect fantasy and hypergamy, she can have you as a boyfriend, and keep hanging out with her ex bf, fu-ck him if she wants to, or if he pisses her off, then go back with you...and keep playing this game until she finds a third guy that makes her wet.

She is totally crazy and unstable so you're better off without her...unless you want to play the puppet game in which she's the master.

 

[GS750]

That's what I was thinking. Typical girl would at least hide or conceal the fact that she's still maintaining contact with her ex even though it's shady. This chick just throws it in his face and is unapologetic about it and expects him to put up with it. That's crazy. Fvck that sideways.

 

[SgtSplacker]

Cheers for the advice fellas..

Decided earlier that life is too short, did some weights, sit ups then got dressed and went out....no point sitting around worrying about things, when I can alter the present. In respect to NC, she knew I was going out and has blown up my phone this evening big time.

One thing I'm curious about though;

Rather that confront and then split her regarding her ex bf the other night on the phone, was there a better or more 'alpha' way I could of played that?

And was it AFC to get my back up concerning the unnaturally close relationship with her ex?
Would doc love or someone who knows the score better have kept it going?

I would have just started seeing other people openly then when she asks, calmly told her that I didn't think she was serious about us, while giving no fuuks at all. She starts calling me crazy and I would have just let her know I really didn't want a relationship with a girl that hangs out with her ex. Wouldn't have told her there was anything wrong with what she was doing, just my personal preference. No point she can argue there.

When a girl plays this "have my cake and eat it too" crap on me like that. Their main point of argument is that you are crazy for thinking it's wrong or that there is nothing wrong with what she wants to do. So I tell them there's nothing wrong with what she wants to do, but I just don't want that in my life. Typically with the attitude of keeping the door open so she can easily exit the premises. A woman will leave you faster winning an argument that has been manupulated then she will being completely disregarded and let go. Arguments like this will change the way she thinks about you right there and then. I believe there would have been a good chance she would have cut things off with the ex after a talk like this.