I know it may be hard for everyone to believe, but rationalizing wasn't my objective when I started that thread. I was getting irritated with the number of people I see who refuse to acknowledge the REAL way most women are. Their need to feel that their woman is "different" overrides their bullsh!t detector.
Of course. That was one of my points in the "Good girls do cheat" thread. If she even WANTS to be with someone else she needs to go, period.
BUT........In the beginning stages of a relationship where the is no commitment, whether verbal, implied, or written in stone, it is a completely different story. She could have easily lied to me about the whole situation. I don't know where she lives and I've never met her family.
Exactly. I have made it known to her that at this point I am not prepared to put the rest if my life aside for her. So how can I expect her to put her life aside for me? What I "want" is up in the air right now. So what she is doing isn't in conflict with what I want.
This is the period of time where you both need to resolve any issues you have that might keep you from moving forward. Once you have reached a deeper level in the relationship this kind of sh!t would be absolutely UNACCEPTABLE.
Yea, she is having her cake and eating it too. I can do the same. The thing is that I have basically turned her application down to this point, or at least put it on the back burner.
In a way you are correct, but until you reach "that point" in a relationship there is a period of time in the beginning where you are in limbo. To be honest with you if we had continued to spend as much time together as we have been if this issue were to have come up a month from now things might be different. But as it stands now I can't justify myself getting into a tizzy over it.
You have a point. It is obvious that she DOES want him there. But I still stick to what I said initially.....at this point in time if I let myself get worked up over it then its my own problem. Hell, maybe it WILL bother me to the point that I call it off, I don't know.
I think you and some of the others are still guilty of promoting a double standard. Personally, I am guilty of letting myself THINK in that way (hence, him coming to visit bothers me), but I try to let my rational mind override my emotions to try to find the best course of action. Blowing up over this and getting rid of her is a knee-jerk reaction designed to keep someone from getting hurt. It might be the best course of action, but I'm not yet convinced it is the best way to deal with this situation.
Yes, I believe it would be different.
I had a lengthy convo with her last night touching on this situation and plenty of other things.
She tells me that I'm "too much of a mystery" and that I "don't let my feelings show" enough. I have done a great job of amping up her attraction by applying lots of things a good little DJ would do.
The bad thing about keeping her guessing is that even if I DO feel something more for her than I let her believe, if I keep telling her that I don't want a commitment she has no assurance that her investment with me will go anywhere.
To be perfectly honest with you at this point I am not sure what I am going to do. One part of me wants to cut it loose and let her do her thing for now. I'm not really into this high school relatonship drama crap. I had a good idea what I was signing up for because she told me on our first date that this guy has been her b/f since early high school. The only relationship experience she has is the whole "break up and get back together a dozen times" bullsh!t because this is a carryover from when she was FIFTEEN freakin years old.
On the other hand I enjoy doing things with her. And the sex is OUT OF THIS WORLD. She has many of the qualities I desire in an LTR. I would hate to give it all up.