Her Dating websites

[ANIRBAN]

Guys I have a unique porblem....

She was nice wid me all along and said I love you many times and we are having a relationship ....but recently she told me that she is maintaining contact with a foreigner whom she dated before me and I should not be mad at her..so I wasnt..

Now recently..I found her profile in another dating website and she has prioritized her top five crushes and even a "better half" and all of them are other guys and no sign of me there..she did not even ask me to join that website and add me as her crush or loved one...

Now that I accidentally stumbled upon her profile and confronted her..she was angry wid me and accused me of researching about her behind her back and she even talked of a break up..I told her that what the hell u r doing with me when I am not even ur top 5 favourite..she did not answer me...

Overall she is a nice lady and also oves me she said..and now she is accusing me of caller her an "user" . Trust me I never used that word with her anytime during our confrontation..I guess is she big time guitly. As for me I felt insulted..even though she did not sleep with anyone as most of her crushes stay abroad..

so whats ur opinion on this..we did not talk or chat yesrday..and so before I talk to her today..guys I need ur help and advise..go easy on me as I am learnign my DJ stuff now...just for info..our relationship is 1 year old and she dated many guys and chose me..and she often tells me that u r the winner..you got me..what then what is this she is projecting to other in the dating website...

when I requested her to add me..she just add me as her "friend" and even did not have the courtsey to replace her crushes with my photo or give me a number one rating in her website.

Help me plan my next move as I have to chat wid her in a few hours form now..of course I will not chat first...let her start first or invite me to meet her in person...during the weekend..

Thanks !!

 

[JonJack]

You sound very young. Maybe in your teenage years, although you've been around here for 4 years.

Her responses are not good to begin with. When she gave you the impression that you're 'the lucky winner' because she chose you, it says little as to her actual interest and commitment towards you. She probably feels that you owe her for choosing you. That you should be glad and content that you're the one she accepted. Cause from the sounds of things, she had numerous other guys waiting in line to get a piece of her action.

Moving on, she has this list of guys that she interested in. Most likely, if any one of these guys were to show up next to her requesting for a piece of her action, she would gladly comply. For someone to announce their top 5 guys publicly while at the same time denying you that position even though you're a couple is dangerous. It's dangerous because you feel it is an issue.

Additionally, the fact that she accused you of snooping around her back is a clear indication that she's hiding some things from you. If she had no problem with you knowing about the things she does on dating websites, she would have just explained herself instead of retaliating.

Bottom line, she doesn't particularly hold much importance in you. Sad to say, you're just a side thing. She knows there are better options out there. Currently though, you suffice. You're just there to fill some sort of emptiness in her life at the moment.

But here's something you've got to understand. She's perfectly entitled to it all. She's not the 'bad' or 'evil' entity here. The issue is the divergent views of the two parties. You have this idea of what you want with her while she has this idea of what she wants with you. They are clearly not coherent and so discontent creeps in.

Try and know whether this girl is able to satisfy what you're looking for in a relationship. Sometimes it's hard to be objective, but if you can, it would save you a lot of heartache.

Lastly, don't expect her to initiate contact first. You decide what needs to be done and what needs to be resolved. You then take action on your terms. Don't go hoping for the opportune moment to present itself. You have to take charge.

 

[ANIRBAN]

Thanks

Hey thanks for the well thought reply..u made my doubts clear..I welcome more comments on this..thank you !!

 

[\O/]

Ditch the *****. She is not being honest to you and she doesn't even seem to recognize you as her boyfriend. She tells you "you won, you've got me". That means she considers her the prize and that you are the one who is lucky to be with her, when it should be the other way around.

I would never accept behaviour like that, and if a girl didn't respect me (as your girl clearly doesn't) I could never find her worthy enough to be my girl. You seem very young and girls can be like that when they are young. They're not looking for anything steady..they are just being girls, with different crushes every other week..

Don't play into her games. Tell her straight.

 

[ANIRBAN]

Our age

So sorry to say..that I am 32 and she is 27

well she is really into me....travels long distance to meet me and even on working days she comes to my pad and buys gifts for me and pampers me to some extent..she even send our photos to her parents and relatives and stuff....

May be she is immature and thats her pastimte and hobby of collecting online handsome guys..but then if any of them wants to come here and meet her I am sure she will jump and meet him and dont tell me about it...Her appettite is for foreigners...and good looking hunks...even a trcuk driver once caught her attention..I dont know whther she is going thru a teenager stage of life or she is doing it out of ignorance..

 

[ssj245]

hey

hey man...the best thing to do is to just pretend like you dont care. She still has sex with you so she still likes you. Just dont let jealousy get you. Even though she acts this way, I let jealousy get me one time in a relationship I had. Just dont worry about it, and keep doing your thing with her. If she cheats on you then yeah ditch the girl but otherwise just be cool and have fun, just use her for whatever you can, unless your in love with her totally and fully, then your screwed. If thats the case you probably want her to love you back the same way she does, but otherwise just do your thing, go out twice or three times a week, fu*k her, then chill with your guy friends. Dont get attached ever. I never want to.

 

[ANIRBAN]

but...

Thanks !!

But what if she does not declare that i that dating website that she has a boyfriend or in a relationship...

and also during our heated chatting yesterday..I almost told her that I cant offer more than this and I dont want to block u and ur good fortune as a lot of foreigners have lined up and they can marry u and agive u a better life somewhere in a developed country...

Its not about jealously bre..its about respect..I got pretty insulted and felt disrespect and she was hiding that website form me..thats her secret collection and contacts..but she is very jealous if any lady liekes me to contacts me..

I am not in love or attached..so no problem to trash her..but I jst feel that she has a different apppetitie and I just dont want to look like a fool ...if I wait loonger..then one bloke who she is in touch with might come and propose to her and she will say yes and then she will dump me..so its better I pull the plug before going to that limit...

I am over her already....

 

[ssj245]

then dump her

then dump her...bro its all up to you. Decide how you feel about the situation and go for it. If you want to keep her then make her jealous or dont give a ****, if you dont want her then dump her ass.

 

[Panik]

FTOW always seems to help

 

[Skel]

Maybe Im being a bit harsh but for Christ sake learn how to spell. Its ****ing annoying to read your post.

 

[Bible_Belt]

but she is very jealous if any lady liekes me to contacts me..

That's the problem. A relationship must be on equal terms, whatever those terms might be.

 

[MightyMate]

You should get mad whil she was speaking with somebody. Also if You found her on those sites, the only thing she could say was 'dont spy me'. If she wants to break up - break up dude. Shes looking for guys around yer back for 100%.
Also if You dont want to break up tell her to add You pictures to all her profiles there as the guy who she loves. If she doesnt do that - You can dumb her easly.
Seems very bad mate.
Regards.

 

[ANIRBAN]

Update

Guys..She stormed into my room last nite..and profusely apologize to me for her actions and ask her to take me back and promoised me that those guys are just her friends and the website is just for fun not serious and if those guys come here to meet her then she will meet them but "with me". I told her thank you very much for the offer but I have no intention to meet any of your crushes who come to meet you. Since she begged me and caused some drama and I also had to leave for some other important stuff. I closed the day by asking her to give me some time to make a decision.

This morning I observe that she cancel her profile in that website totally. She also wrote me a love letter with red lip marks all over stating her true love for me and said sorry that I felt insulted.

Now I am in a fix, should I accept her apology..but deep inside I dont want to continue as same thing might crop up again..this time not in the website mayeb during her girlie niteouts..she told me that many guys approach her during her ladies nite out and there are no fun when guys are not around..she seems to consider herself a big prize in the market and a good catch..thats why she is behaving like this.

What could be a smart move at this juncture??

 

[The Nice Guy is Gone]

Well, the fact that she had a dating site in the first place is strike #1. The fact that she didn't tell you about it is strike #2. And the fact that she threw a b1tch fit is strike #3. She seems to be playing with you--if you take her back, which you shouldn't, it won't be for that long, because she knows she can keep running back to you whenever she wants. She's toying with you, and you're letting her.

Be done with this one, even as friends. I know that's harsh, but that's the way I would handle this one.