Her cousins B-day dinner vs 49ers Game

[suspected_file_swap]

Hey guys,

Been with my GF for 18 months now , tonight she tells me that we have a dinner with her family to celebrate her cousins B Day at a restaurant on Sunday.

At first I agree, then remember that my SF 49ers are playing a huge game, I tell her dont think Im gonna be able to make the supper because of the game.

She gives me a weird look shrugs her shoulders and give me the sarcastic do whatever you want babe.

To me this is a not brainer, staying home to watch the games.

Thoughts ? I wonder if she will really be upset.

Her cousin is like a brother to her.

I should probably set these rules early on.

 

[window]

you are being a schmuck in this situation and basically communicating that some game of football is more important than being with your gf...just my 2cents so I could be wrong. It depends though on if she has made these plans knowing that this is an important game to you.

 

[PrettyBoyAJ]

It's her cousins birthday. Not hers. Watch your 49ers my boy.

 

[Findog]

Her cousin's birthday? I think he should be able to watch the game. If she lives in the Bay Area she should understand why this game is a big deal. It's not her birthday, it's not her parent's birthday, it's her cousin. If this were a regular season game, he should suck it up and go to the dinner. Imagine if he wanted her to go his cousin's birthday dinner during The Bachelor finale.

A relationship is a series of compromises. To me, the occasion of her cousin's birthday doesn't rise to missing a game of this significance. If she's been with him for 18 months, she should understand by now why this is a big deal.

 

[FairShake]

At first I agree

a MAN keeps his word. He doesn't break it for something as unimportant as football.

Although if I knew that game would be what it was I might've been an azzhole too and ditched my gf and promise for the game.

 

[Findog]

OP, is there any way you can DVR the game and avoid radio/tv/smartphones?

 

[Findog]

Maybe things are different in northern California, but here in Dallas a guy could be excused for not wanting to miss out on a regular season Cowboys game, much less playing for a spot in the Super Bowl.

 

[loco2chon]

I think the correct move would be watching your game.

 

[backbreaker]

my wife would be sleeping on the couch if she even suggested that I miss an arknasas game for some **** like that.

hell I' i get pissed off when she can't watch the games with me. let alone me watching the games.'


she would get this look lol

http://3.asset.soup.io/asset/2336/0611_55a4.jpeg

 

[speed dawg]

Did you tell her you'd go when she asked you? Or did she order you to go like so many American husbands? Answer those questions and we can delve into this further.

 

[Nutz]

Epically relevant:

http://rationalmale.wordpress.com/2012/01/17/setting-the-rules/

 

[Colossus]

At first I agree, then remember that my SF 49ers are playing a huge game, I tell her dont think Im gonna be able to make the supper because of the game.

I should probably set these rules early on.

Yeah, you made the mistake of agreeing first, THEN changing your mind. If you do watch the game she'll no doubt be p!ssy about it and you'll have to clean up that mess.

I'm sure there will be a lot of "put her in her place" replies here, but that's just posturing. You agreed to something, then changed your mind about it. So she'll be p!ssed about it, but it may be worth it depending on your existing frame with her....and how big of a 49ers fan you are.

 

[suspected_file_swap]

Wow, what a **** storm this post created, I feel like such a legend LOL...

Well guys this is something I have struggled with most of my life, giving in too chicks in an effort to try and make them " happy ". Honestly, I think this syndroms affects at least 80% of men today, if not more.

Obvioulsy , this strategy has entirely fallen flat on it's face over and over again. I have improved a great deal over the years but still struggle with this behaviour from time to time as suggested by my intitial post.

My concern is that is that in an effort to stand my ground I end up coming across as an inconsiderate *******, this is not the kind of girl who will put up with that. She is different than other women. She is very down to earth , easy going and giving. Family is important to her and all though she will not insist it is important to her that I am at these functions ( and I dont go to all of them )

I think part of the problem is that she is not entirely clear on how passionate I am about football. We just tend to discuss other things when we are together.......so " football " to her might sound like some lame excuse to not go.

How should I tell her that Im not going ? Should I explain ?

Thanks for the feedback.

 

[Colossus]

Just to expound on this a little, I had a similar thing happen to me this past weekend. I was flying home from Colorado back to the east coast saturday, and hadnt seen my gf in 2 weeks. So, needless to say, she was mentally expecting to spend that night and the rest of the weekend with me. Ok. However, we did NOT have specific plans and it just so happened there was a huge Broncos game on sat night. So I told her, babe, I'm watching the Broncos game at my house saturday night, inviting her of course. She was upset. But you know what? She got over it. I explained to her this was a playoff game coming off a big win over the Steelers, I really want to see it, and that's what I did.

The point is I was going to watch the game, even if it meant her not coming over and doing something else. I gave her that option. She still chose to come over, and read her book. All in all it ended up being fine, and I did something for her the next day, not out of expectation but just to spend time with her and not be totally selfish.

I would just tell her, "babe, I really want to watch this game, and I forgot about it when you asked me to your cousin's. Sorry but I cant make this one."

Sometimes things like this are good power plays, because you set the tone you cant be bartered with if it's something you really want.

 

[women haze]

Maybe her Cousin will play the game on the tv while ya'll have dinner?

There you go!!

 

[suspected_file_swap]

Just to expound on this a little, I had a similar thing happen to me this past weekend. I was flying home from Colorado back to the east coast saturday, and hadnt seen my gf in 2 weeks. So, needless to say, she was mentally expecting to spend that night and the rest of the weekend with me. Ok. However, we did NOT have specific plans and it just so happened there was a huge Broncos game on sat night. So I told her, babe, I'm watching the Broncos game at my house saturday night, inviting her of course. She was upset. But you know what? She got over it. I explained to her this was a playoff game coming off a big win over the Steelers, I really want to see it, and that's what I did.

The point is I was going to watch the game, even if it meant her not coming over and doing something else. I gave her that option. She still chose to come over, and read her book. All in all it ended up being fine, and I did something for her the next day, not out of expectation but just to spend time with her and not be totally selfish.

I would just tell her, "babe, I really want to watch this game, and I forgot about it when you asked me to your cousin's. Sorry but I cant make this one."

Sometimes things like this are good power plays, because you set the tone you cant be bartered with if it's something you really want.

YES !

This is a blessing in disguise.

 

[Jitterbug]

I'd question the sanity of her cousin having his bday dinner on that same night. What kind of man is he???

 

[Pair A Dice]

Funny this was brought up. Back in 2008, my favorite team was in the running to make the World Series.

Before one of the most crucial games, my g/f wanted me to do something with her that I knew would involve me missing a few innings. I simply told her, "Whatever you want me to do with you can happen tomorrow. My team might never been in the position again in my lifetime. I'm watching this game."

She huffed and puffed, then left in a storm.

She came back to my apartment later that night after she got done, apologized and sucked my d!ck.

 

[backbreaker]

lol tonight my wife went out with some of our friends out to eat at a Mexican restaurant. arknasas is playing Kentucky on ESPN. lol she didn't say 2 words to me about going. told me she would bring me some tacos back.

 

[Zunder]

North Americans won't know this game, but its called Rugby League (not Rugby Union) and New Zealand were playing Australia in the World Cup final in late 2008.
My Irish GF at the time kicked up a sh!tstorm as she didn't have Cable tv and I said, "Well I am going to the pub to watch this game, it could be the game of my life, you are welcome to join me"?
And its not like she just had anything planned, just another night in her boring apartment.
It WAS the single greatest game I have seen, we beat the Aussies, and I still remember it fondly to this day whenever I think about it.
The GF - now a long gone ex, stayed in the apartment and sulked.
Stupid bytch.
WATCH THE GAME.