Her 1st Crying Jag....I'm Ready to Walk

[Oblivious]

Yes, I am totally oblivious to the lame ideals some of you guys really believe and live up to like its the holy grail of life. But if its working for you, good. But I am entitled to my own point of view and perspective. Last I looked, I live in a free country and can speak my mind however I please. If you can't handle it you don't have to read it. Keep it moving please.

 

[Snatchmaster]

Interesting discussion we have going here. I think I agree that a crying fit isn't dump-worthy. But it does make me nervous about whether she is a keeper.

Thinking about it further, I realize that she has a tendency to complain and argue rather than state what's on her mind. Again, I've gotten the 'I'm not going to beg.'

To me this is passive-aggressive behavior. I will address this with her tomorrow: stop the histrionics and just speak your mind.

Oblivious: My real concern is what her behavior foreshadows. I do care for her, but I don't fall in love after 10 dates.

 

[Snatchmaster]

Update:

She ragged again about my possible evac. A lot of bs counter to what is recommended. Really railed on me. Again, wouldn't say what's really on her mind, wanting me to stay with her.

Told her I don't put up with that kind of crap (perhaps there are other flavors of sh!t I might eat, have to think about it).

She apologized, promised to change. Sorry Honey, NEXT!!!

 

[dietzcoi]

Thank God you next'ed her.. I was beginning to dispair reading oblivious's various comments.

Never, never take advice from a woman... they are all in favor of men climbing aboard the drama roller-coaster for a long, long ride...

This woman is a serious head-case and for anybody to defend it is craziness, but there you have it...

NEXT!

Dietzcoi

 

[Oblivious]

Well obviously he found she has a pattern and isn't willing to put up with that. Thats his perogative and he did what he had to do for him. But taking advice from a woman isn't all bad. I just diddn't want him to be too hasty in his judgement after one incident.
But as a woman I also take note of this in my dealings with men. I know I can be quite emotional and sensitive. I'll just have to learn to tone it down when it comes to men. I've had in the past when I have done that I would be considered unfeeling, unemotional and they didn't know how I felt about them so they figured I just wasn't interested when I really was. I just wanted to keep my emotions in check. I guess its all case by case. Some people can handle it, some can't.

 

[( . )( . )]

Yes chicks cry at the drop of a hat, they are emotionally unstable. This cannot be denied.

I personally would'nt next a chick for crying because I expect her to cry.

HOWEVER if it pisses YOU off and behaviour that annoys YOU then you should drop her in an instant, no questions asked no answers given BANG done.. And never let anyone here or anywhere else question or make you feel guilt for your decision you have made as the man.

I dare say she and many many women like her have dropped guys for ALOT less than what your proposing, lol.

 

[Snatchmaster]

Yeah, I ended up staying for Dennis, but she really turned into a devil when I said I was considering leaving. She's one of those who will drown with the rats when we finally do get a direct hit. I was here for Ivan and Georges, but since then I've come to my senses about taking shelter below sea-level in the face of a hurricane.

What really annoyed me was the sh!t-fit on top of the passive-aggressive behavior.

Now, Oblivious, if you read this here's some advice: You don't need to shut down the emotions when you are with a man, just don't mistake intimacy for therapy - don't whine and cry all the time and don't b!tch at your man because he's not doing what you want. If it's a big issue, sit down and express yourself. Otherwise, let it go.

 

[Grover]

I've been lurking on this site for a couple of years, and have learned some really useful things.

But, I'm afraid that on this thread (aside from the original poster) Oblivious comes across as the most intelligent and thoughtful person here.

The thing is, often we want simple, hard-and-fast rules about how to act. Some hard-and-fast rules are necessary if we are to define ourselves as self-respecting people. But often on this board, people go well and truly overboard. Those people are unnuanced rule-worshippers.

The worst thing about this board is that the impression that you get from many posts here is that women are the enemy. Honestly, if women are as devious and horrible as many people make out on this site, then why would you be interested in them? Best thing to do then is probably just to fork over your $80 to a prostitute every few weeks to satisfy your physical needs...

Having said that, it's not all bad at all. I've grown some balls from the things I've read on this site. But I do think that this site suffers often from not actuallly realising that men and women are more similar than they are different.

Call me AFC if you like. Insults without proper reasoning to back it up are themselves AFC...

 

[Oblivious]

Grover..you are soooo right! Thank you so much! Its refreshing to hear someone else who is level headed and not consumed by rules or techniques of manipulation. Women and men are similar. I am a woman and alot of the complaints guys make on this forum are the same complaints I have as well as alot of my other female friends.

What I have found that this forum does provide alot of valuable insight on how to improve as a person (i.e. gaining confidence, social skills, self respect, etc.). I think if more people focused on that then the rest would follow. Thats why I feel that there are alot of guys here way past their 30s still trying to game women with rules and techniques.

 

[dietzcoi]

No shortage of bad advice on this site!!

Dietzcoi

 

[Oblivious]

So I figure if those cold hard tactics are used by women to get what they want then its all fine and dandy too.

But then again those tactics work so well. I wonder why you all still come on here complaining about where the good women are. But I don't doubt that some of these tactics are effective for getting women. But what do you do to keep them around? Being ****y and funny and a mystery can only take you so far.

 

[al77]

Originally posted by Grover

The worst thing about this board is that the impression that you get from many posts here is that women are the enemy.

Honestly, if women are as devious and horrible as many people make out on this site, then why would you be interested in them? Best thing to do then is probably just to fork over your $80 to a prostitute every few weeks to satisfy your physical needs...

Nobody said aything about enemies. Enemies should be obviously avoided. But women do you act like friends to men - this is the actual problem.

Have you seen "Stepford wives"? Awesome movies where a implant chip was invenet that helped covert regular women into perfect wives. Perfect!
It is simply dangerous to deal with real hoes due to std, and it has a social stigma: imagine "where have you been?" Have gone to hoes...".
With no std I guess it would be a totally different world: lots of men would do precisely what you said.

 

[( . )( . )]

Seems someone has mistaken this place for a generic, mainstream "dating advice" forum.

We shouldnt be seeing this here, I suggest pulling your head in and reading the Bible to get a feel for who and what types your trying that stuff on.

It's not going to stick, save yourself and us the continual dramas of calling you out and get wth the program.

 

[CrotchSniffer]

Originally posted by Oblivious
Unfortunately I don't bow down to you or any man. So, yes I will speak my piece when it is necessary.

Said the woman who did not know her place.

Originally posted by Oblivious
If thats how you deal with women so be it. Its definitely your perogative. If its served you well keep doing it. But regardless I still find that tactic to seem rather controlling and manipulative in itself as well to think that way.

Really? I most whole-heartedly disagree. There is nothing manipulative about directly stating what you can or cannot tolerate in a relationship. There is something terribly wrong with a girl using tears and GUILT to get her way, one month into the relationship no less! If she would have just cried and left it at that, it would be one thing, but she pulled the guilt card afterwards with "I guess I won't even ask you to spend time with me later"

That is some pouty, spoiled brat behavior right there. She deserves a spanking!

Originally posted by Oblivious
I just know if I ever deal with a guy who thinks he needs to put me ein my place and discipline me, I'll definitely be on my way to bigger and better things. A man who thinks he has to have total control over a woman isn't much of a man. If he had his stuff together he wouldn't have to think of having to be controlling and have all power.

You are actually spot on there...nobody wants a control freak. But in my experience, women do crave a father figure for a mate...its' wired into their genes to look for someone who will make a good father for their children. Do you want a man who will cave easily every time the kids shed a tear? Or a man with a BACKBONE?

 

[Oblivious]

I do know my role, but do you know yours? I am not looking for a father figure. My father is the only father I will ever have. I would like someone who has characteristics of my father. He was there for me, he cared for me, he loved me, he took care of me and in addition to that my father is hard working, funny, never ran away from his responsibilities. Then there are some things about my father I didn't like I wouldn't want in a mate as well.

When I am in a relationship I am not trying to wear the pants. I am most happy being a woman and letting a man be man (what it really means to be one). But I am also a grown woman and deserve to be treated as such. I am not to be talked down too, I am not to be controlled. Now in relationships you work together. If the dude I'm with has some sense and I can trust him and his instincts I won't have a problem with following. But sometimes there are going to be things that I have a upper hand in and he may have to follow me sometimes. You all get so bent out of shape by one comment a chick makes, one tear, one gesture.

Basically by being on this forum and getting all these tips and techniques you are trying to put up some facade to get someone interested in you. And basically forces the women to give you the benefit of the doubt and most of us will. But the minute we cut you cause of something you don't like you want to get upset and name call. Just like you all feel you reserve the right to dismiss a woman if she does something you don't like, we also reserve that right. And one of my things is that a dude will not TRY to treat me like I am some child. He will respect me as a woman as I will respect him as a man. If he can't do that he won't get my respect nor my attention. And thats real.

But disrespecting someone is way much more severe than expressing emotion and crying. Boo hoo. You guys are a trip. I wonder how many guys on here actually have had MEANINGFUL relationships that have lasted for longer than a few months. How many? Maybe those guys are too busy with their loving women to be on this forum talking bout stupid techniques to manipulate women.

 

[Snatchmaster]

Crotchsniffer gets it:

There is nothing manipulative about directly stating what you can or cannot tolerate in a relationship. There is something terribly wrong with a girl using tears and GUILT to get her way, one month into the relationship no less! If she would have just cried and left it at that, it would be one thing, but she pulled the guilt card afterwards with "I guess I won't even ask you to spend time with me later"

Maximus_Decimus:

... if you want a woman to speak directly whats on her mind, you've just disqualified 99% of the woman in the world.

Look if it's just a sportf*ck, I don't really don't care if she is immature, ignorant or mildy retarded.

But when it comes to a potentail LTR, Yeah, I am eliminating 99% of the women in the world. I'm a choosey motherfluffer. I want the whole package: looks, brains, emotional intelligence and likes to f*ck.

I try to eliminate the crazy ones who are still hung up on their childhoods or their parents.

For the younger guys around here: Avoid the alcoholics and the daughters thereof. They tend to have more problems than the general population.

 

[Oblivious]

I wonder if you are that perfect? Do you have all the looks, the brains, emotional intelligence? Well I am sure you have no issue with liking to have sex. But are you totally perfect? Did you have a fabulous upbringing? What do you have to bring to the table to command all that? Why should someone want to deal with you?

Not to dismiss that you should accept stuff that you just can't deal with. I think the bigger issue of finding that person who despite their flaws you love them anyway. You are going to be single for a long time if you keep looking for this vision of perfection. But its all in perspective---YOUR vision of perspective.

 

[brat-buster]

I wonder if you are that perfect? Do you have all the looks, the brains, emotional intelligence?

I am close and i'm sure snatchmaster is too. this is why we can be choosy Muthafukas.

Hott women do it the time (get picky)....so why can't us guys??

 

[Oblivious]

Oh by all means be picky. I am a big advocate of not settling and getting what you want. But you also have to be realistic and know that everyone isn't perfect. I feel when you come with all these lists and stipulations, you can often miss out on some really good people. Even if you come across someone who has the looks, emotional intelligence, etc. doesn't mean she will be compatible, will like you or what have you.

But don't get me wrong. I feel like if I bring alot to the table and have a lot to offer, anyone wanting to deal with me must come with the same or not at all.

 

[brat-buster]

I have found it helps to WRITE down on paper what you actually want in a woman/partner/ FB or whatever. When you do this it increases your chances of attracting the right kind of people.