Helping a (female) friend not make a mistake

[EverSure75]

Greetings guys
I have a female friend who lives across the Atlantic from me. We’ve been friends for almost 15 years. She and I have admitted physical attraction. There is compatibility but I’ve deaded any talk of being more than friends because of distance. At one point she spoke of the idea of even relocating. Based on the job market in her field where I am I again deaded that Thought. She would more than likely end up a stay at home girlfriend which is something I’ll never do again.

She was married before but divorced because dude shut down on her and cheated. I think he was depressed to but hey.
She met someone last year who looks like a total beta. She described him as a good dude. Who would make a great husband. She tells me the sex is horrible and his d*ck is so small she has to force herself to touch and suck it. Says she has to guide his every move during sex but he’s trying and “really wants to please me”.
She says this is just “5 percent” of the relationship and thinks she’s a good husband material and she’s in her late 30s and wants to have children.

Before sosuave and the red pill I’d have encouraged her, but we all know where this is going.
I really don’t want to see her get married and fail at it again the way any friend wouldn’t want to see their friend fail but she seems to be going through with it.

Is there any way I can help her see the faulty reasoning? As I type this I’m realizing I probably can’t. It’s hardwired in her.

Thoughts?

 

[Tilex]

She can't marry a guy she hates having sex with.
That's incongruent and leads to cuckholdry.

Good chemistry between two partners means both individuals are receiving high satisfaction from sex.

 

[sosousage]

Greetings guys
I have a female friend who lives across the Atlantic from me. We’ve been friends for almost 15 years. She and I have admitted physical attraction. There is compatibility but I’ve deaded any talk of being more than friends because of distance. At one point she spoke of the idea of even relocating. Based on the job market in her field where I am I again deaded that Thought. She would more than likely end up a stay at home girlfriend which is something I’ll never do again.

She was married before but divorced because dude shut down on her and cheated. I think he was depressed to but hey.
She met someone last year who looks like a total beta. She described him as a good dude. Who would make a great husband. She tells me the sex is horrible and his d*ck is so small she has to force herself to touch and suck it. Says she has to guide his every move during sex but he’s trying and “really wants to please me”.
She says this is just “5 percent” of the relationship and thinks she’s a good husband material and she’s in her late 30s and wants to have children.

Before sosuave and the red pill I’d have encouraged her, but we all know where this is going.
I really don’t want to see her get married and fail at it again the way any friend wouldn’t want to see their friend fail but she seems to be going through with it.

Is there any way I can help her see the faulty reasoning? As I type this I’m realizing I probably can’t. It’s hardwired in her.

Thoughts?

Lmfao so so she got alpha widowed then tried to find some naive guy that she dont even love nor feel attracted to and she has to force herself to touch and suck his ****. Lol x d

U need new friends

she will cheat on him because she doesnt respect him


I need to somehow find such desperate chicks

 

[EverSure75]

Lmfao so so she got alpha widowed then tried to find some naive guy that she dont even love nor feel attracted to and she has to force herself to touch and suck his ****. Lol x d

U need new friends

she will cheat on him because she doesnt respect him


I need to somehow find such desperate chicks

If she wasn’t a friend I’d be laughing too, believe me. It’s really amazing to watch it play out. Watching her justify it to herself is really a sight to behold. But hey...it is what it is I guess.
I gave her my two cents. Not much more I can do at this point.

 

[DEEZEDBRAH]

She can't marry a guy she hates having sex with.
That's incongruent and leads to cuckholdry.

Good chemistry between two partners means both individuals are receiving high satisfaction from sex.

A divorcee though? Men just keep raising the bar with women.

I always enjoy when a white girl has a black baby and her white husband thinks it was magic.

Insert slow smile gif right hurrrrr

 

[Dingo]

You need to help HIM from making a mistake.

He's about to be taken for a ride.

 

[RedScorpion]

Seems like a bad arrangement for both of them. She’s not enjoying the sexual experience at all it seems. There’s lukewarm experiences, but this seems not positive and frustrating. That’s just going to be a hidden resentment that’s going to be persistent over many years... but ultimately it is her choice in the matter to pursue such a relationship. You can advise - but it is up to her in the end to go through with it. I’d recommend against it.

 

[Mike32ct]

My gut feeling is that it would be nearly impossible to change her mind.

Yes, it’s absolutely a mistake on her part, but you made your point. Nothing more you can do.

 

[mrgoodstuff]

You need to help HIM from making a mistake.

He's about to be taken for a ride.

She's about to CUCK him

 

[marmel75]

How do you know you are helping her out? Maybe she WANTS a beta dude who will provide for her while she bangs other dudes on the side or even cucks him.

OP, Have you considered that what YOU want for her might not be what she actually wants??

 

[MrWood]

her frame is based on insecurity and weakness of character...
not someone YOU would marry... or have as a friend, unless you are attracted and longing for her.

check yourself son.

 

[EverSure75]

How do you know you are helping her out? Maybe she WANTS a beta dude who will provide for her while she bangs other dudes on the side or even cucks him.

OP, Have you considered that what YOU want for her might not be what she actually wants??

Good question. I have thought about it. She says she doesn’t want to cheat on him down the road because it would break his heart but the sex is just not good at all. All I have is what she’s said and people can say anything.
But yeah. I’ve pulled back on the advice giving and concern. They’ll figure it out.

 

[BeExcellent]

It's tough because you want to see her happy but you know she already is unhappy with him...and that is unlikely to change.

If she is late 30s her clock is ticking loudly, risks regarding the babies' health are beginning to climb and she is weighing the TIME factor that might be required to find another willing man who is a good prospect. She will never admit this to you, especially if she fancies you, but that's likely the case.

She has to be practical and pragmatic. You are not a reasonable option due to distance/career/logistics...never mind the actual having a relationship under that sort of pressure part...and he is local, good husband/father material and so forth.

So she'll sacrifice satisfying sex to gain everything else & defend and justify and rationalize away the decision.

Just be supportive if y'all are friends and let the chips fall where they fall. Never ever say 'I told you so'. I have lost dear friends before by telling the truth...because the friend decided to ignore solid advice, ended up miserable & stuck, knew I was right...and now any interaction with me is an unspoken reminder of an unpleasant truth that I foretold.

It's kind of like trying to explain the red pill to blue pill Polly Anna people...or the inevitable health risks to a young heavy smoker. Your advice won't be appreciated because "you don't understand" & when you're correct you're the ass hole.

Tread carefully.

 

[EverSure75]

It's tough because you want to see her happy but you know she already is unhappy with him...and that is unlikely to change.

If she is late 30s her clock is ticking loudly, risks regarding the babies' health are beginning to climb and she is weighing the TIME factor that might be required to find another willing man who is a good prospect. She will never admit this to you, especially if she fancies you, but that's likely the case.

She has to be practical and pragmatic. You are not a reasonable option due to distance/career/logistics...never mind the actual having a relationship under that sort of pressure part...and he is local, good husband/father material and so forth.

So she'll sacrifice satisfying sex to gain everything else & defend and justify and rationalize away the decision.

Just be supportive if y'all are friends and let the chips fall where they fall. Never ever say 'I told you so'. I have lost dear friends before by telling the truth...because the friend decided to ignore solid advice, ended up miserable & stuck, knew I was right...and now any interaction with me is an unspoken reminder of an unpleasant truth that I foretold.

It's kind of like trying to explain the red pill to blue pill Polly Anna people...or the inevitable health risks to a young heavy smoker. Your advice won't be appreciated because "you don't understand" & when you're correct you're the ass hole.

Tread carefully.

Indeed. Thank you.

 

[EverSure75]

What ever came of this @EverSure75?

Haha.
The short version of the story is she dumped him.
i was slated to visit her after that while in her country for business. She mentioned wanting to explore something. Had a family situation that prevented me from making the trip. Told her 2 weeks in advance and she flipped out.

Without going into much more, we’re no longer friends. I reached out early pandemic to see how she and her family were doing. They were fine. Haven’t heard from her since

 

[RangerMIke]

I hesitated to respond to this but I just have to say you should not be having conversations like this with female friends. She has chick friends for stuff like this. Don't become her gay-male girlfriend.

NEVER get in conversations with chicks with them talking about other dudes PERIOD. If some women started b1tching about the guy she is fvcking about how small he is... Jesus... I just shut that sh1t down.

This is a very BAD habit. Look you can either build rapport with good stuff (fun common interests or experiences) or bad sh1t (her b1tching about sh1t)... Chicks are emotional, if when you are talking about negative stuff with her, she will imprint negativity on YOU. If it is positive fun stuff... well she will imprint positive fun stuff on you. It really is that simple, you should ALWAYS avoid negative stuff with chicks... it's hard, because that is their fvcking go to conversation topic, and it is easy to get sucked into that. When this happens, change the subject.

I know you want to help your friend, but this isn't your fvcking problem. And really any advice you give her she will ignore if it runs contrary to her emotional decision making. She is going to keep fvcking up her life until she has enough emotional pain that she changes herself. People do not change until they have a significate emotional event that gets them to change... The problem with MANY chicks is that if she is in the lest bit attractive, she will find some dumb@ss dude that will fly in like Captain Save-a-ho... these dudes are just temporary band-aides who are just sucking in all her negativity and problems, she never has to deal with real emotional consequences because some stupid fvcking jack@ss with 'help' her... the best thing you can do is let her hit rock bottom, then she can fix this herself. .... chicks like this are emotional vampires; sucking your positive energy until you internalize negative and destroy your karma.

Just stop doing this because it completely screws up your mind-set.

 

[EverSure75]

I hesitated to respond to this but I just have to say you should not be having conversations like this with female friends. She has chick friends for stuff like this. Don't become her gay-male girlfriend.

NEVER get in conversations with chicks with them talking about other dudes PERIOD. If some women started b1tching about the guy she is fvcking about how small he is... Jesus... I just shut that sh1t down.

This is a very BAD habit. Look you can either build rapport with good stuff (fun common interests or experiences) or bad sh1t (her b1tching about sh1t)... Chicks are emotional, if when you are talking about negative stuff with her, she will imprint negativity on YOU. If it is positive fun stuff... well she will imprint positive fun stuff on you. It really is that simple, you should ALWAYS avoid negative stuff with chicks... it's hard, because that is their fvcking go to conversation topic, and it is easy to get sucked into that. When this happens, change the subject.

I know you want to help your friend, but this isn't your fvcking problem. And really any advice you give her she will ignore if it runs contrary to her emotional decision making. She is going to keep fvcking up her life until she has enough emotional pain that she changes herself. People do not change until they have a significate emotional event that gets them to change... The problem with MANY chicks is that if she is in the lest bit attractive, she will find some dumb@ss dude that will fly in like Captain Save-a-ho... these dudes are just temporary band-aides who are just sucking in all her negativity and problems, she never has to deal with real emotional consequences because some stupid fvcking jack@ss with 'help' her... the best thing you can do is let her hit rock bottom, then she can fix this herself. .... chicks like this are emotional vampires; sucking your positive energy until you internalize negative and destroy your karma.

Just stop doing this because it completely screws up your mind-set.

Oh for sure. The original post is about 3 years old.

 

[bat soup]

Greetings guys
I have a female friend who lives across the Atlantic from me. We’ve been friends for almost 15 years. She and I have admitted physical attraction. There is compatibility but I’ve deaded any talk of being more than friends because of distance. At one point she spoke of the idea of even relocating. Based on the job market in her field where I am I again deaded that Thought. She would more than likely end up a stay at home girlfriend which is something I’ll never do again.

She was married before but divorced because dude shut down on her and cheated. I think he was depressed to but hey.
She met someone last year who looks like a total beta. She described him as a good dude. Who would make a great husband. She tells me the sex is horrible and his d*ck is so small she has to force herself to touch and suck it. Says she has to guide his every move during sex but he’s trying and “really wants to please me”.
She says this is just “5 percent” of the relationship and thinks she’s a good husband material and she’s in her late 30s and wants to have children.

Before sosuave and the red pill I’d have encouraged her, but we all know where this is going.
I really don’t want to see her get married and fail at it again the way any friend wouldn’t want to see their friend fail but she seems to be going through with it.

Is there any way I can help her see the faulty reasoning? As I type this I’m realizing I probably can’t. It’s hardwired in her.

Thoughts?

You should have banged her 15 years ago and then forgotten about her. If she's talking like that about her potential husband, then she's a piece of garbage.

My recommendation is that when flights reopen you meet her in Los Angeles at a Motel 6, then fly home and never speak to her again.

 

[EverSure75]

You should have banged her 15 years ago and then forgotten about her. If she's talking like that about her potential husband, then she's a piece of garbage.

My recommendation is that when flights reopen you meet her in Los Angeles at a Motel 6, then fly home and never speak to her again.

this post is old, we don’t even speak anymore.
lesson learnt on my end. No harm no foul.

 

[Machine10033]

How do you know you are helping her out? Maybe she WANTS a beta dude who will provide for her while she bangs other dudes on the side or even cucks him.

OP, Have you considered that what YOU want for her might not be what she actually wants??

Exactly... people are weird as hell. I have actually had a few girls tell me their husbands don’t care if I f them... one time I laughed and said that’s ridiculous and the girls husband came across the bar as we were talking and introduced himself... she said honey...please tell him you don’t mind if he fcks me... he smiles and said not at all... I did an Irish exit... so some people are into that ****