Help! Women just don't fulfill me anymore!

[f283000]

This is a big problem i'm having. I'm the type of guy that when learning something new I like to try and get really good at it fast, try to master it, try to do it a lot. I just have a big drive to succeed, but the problem with that it's that once I get too good at it or get too much of it I become unfulfilled by it.

For example food. I can go to a new restaurant and if I really like the food i'll keep going and going everyday of the week for the same meal I liked. So what was once a brand new exotic dish I tasted and loved then becomes nothing special to me. I don't like to measure myself I like to get what i want and fast and lots of it right away.

This is the problem i'm having with women. Once I got good with them I just didn't care as much about them anymore. Before I used to sarge now I just wait for the ones that give me buying signals and then I strike. I don't see the need anymore to approach and to play the game.

They just don't fulfill me anymore. I feel no need to be around them, go out with them, have fun with them. I game them, I close the deal and then I quickly lose interest after I get what I want.

I had this beautiful gal she had an awesome body and would turn heads everywhere she went. My married friend said he would leave his wife in an instant for her! Yet when I got her I lost all interest in her, ignored her, didn't care for her and then she lost interest in me. I had this girl hook line and sinker and didn't care.

I read stories about guys doing all kinds of stuff with their girlfriends, going out with their girlfriends, loving their girlfriends, being happy, and just getting emotional satisfaction with women. I just don't get that from women but I wish I did. They have become pieces of meat to me.

This is kinda hard to explain. Maybe I just haven't found women that are interesting and magnetic to me or maybe my standards are too high. Maybe i'm just too busy with other projects/workaholic and women are an impediment to that. Maybe getting good with women makes you a cold hearted bastard.

I thought that maybe I had problems with my secks drive but everytime I go out of the house I can't help myself but to check out every good looking woman I see and feel like making love to her.

I thought that it was due to me losing respect for women and American women in general thus finding it very difficult for me to give my all to any of these women.

Maybe I have problems with commitment and fear relationships, or maybe i'm just too independent and can never be a 1 woman man. I just don't know.

Any help with this?? Or is this a natural phenomenon? At my age I feel like I should be wanting to be happy with a woman rather than just hit it and quit it. I feel like I'm destined to die alone at this rate. Sometimes I feel like I being an afc again and feeling those afc feelings that we get for women when afcs. Now they just don't mean nothing to me.

 

[1 Bad Dude]

Maybe I have problems with commitment and fear relationships, or maybe i'm just too independent and can never be a 1 woman man. I just don't know.

These are possibilities but I think it has more to do with...

I thought that it was due to me losing respect for

YOURSELF, not women. Deep inside you know the only reason you get women is because of these rules, games and scripts we follow. Some part of you wants to go back to being that afc. Some part of you wants to be able to use fakebook/texting/email with out worrying about "scaring" girls away. Some part of you wants to bel able to focus solely on one girl and not be dropped like a bad habit for doing so. ... Or maybe thats why I feel unfulfilled by women these days. Who knows. I sure don't.

 

[zekko]

I don't think that is really what's going on with f283000, so this is kind of OT, but I can't help myself:

Deep inside you know the only reason you get women is because of these rules, games and scripts we follow

I do agree with some of the principles espoused here, but I don't like to play games or follow rules and scripts. The principles that I believe in are part of my mindset. I have found that I get a far better reaction from women when I am just being myself, than when I try to play these DJ games.

Some part of you wants to be able to use fakebook/texting/email with out worrying about "scaring" girls away

The last thing I am worried about is scaring girls away. That sounds about as AFC as it can get, being worried about scaring girls away.
I don't do Facebook, and I don't generally email women. I do text them now and then. I am not at all worried about it scaring them away. They enjoy it. And if they don't like it, then you know what they can do with it. If it scares them away (which I have never seen evidence of - rather the opposite), it's their loss.
Of course I don't sit and text them for hours at a time either.

Some part of you wants to bel able to focus solely on one girl and not be dropped like a bad habit for doing so

I have focused on the same girl solely for the past eight years, and she has not dropped me like a bad habit yet.
I have focused on other areas of my life, but she is the only girl I've focused on. I will flirt with others occasionally, but it's very light and casual, and I don't make a point of shoving it in her face.

Just believe in yourself, and forget all this DJ nonsense. Whether or not I text someone, it's going to be because it's what I want to do, not because someone told me what to do on a dating forum.

 

[f283000]

YOURSELF, not women. Deep inside you know the only reason you get women is because of these rules, games and scripts we follow. Some part of you wants to go back to being that afc.

I want to feel like an afc but not go back to being an afc.

What I mean is I want to feel those feelings for a woman that an afc feels. I want to feel happy inside, i want to feel loved, i want to love, I want to feel like in heaven when with a woman. I want to feel like going out, laughing, holding hands.

But now I rather stay at home and work on a personal project on the computer or go out with the buddies than have a girlfriend to hang out with. But before when I was an afc I always wanted to have the companionship of a good woman now I don't.

I just feel like I have become a cold robot that's only attracted to a woman before secks and after loses interest. I see a woman with a body I like, i make her mine, I lose interest, i don't many attempts to have any relationships of sorts.

Some guys might say this is a good thing but it really isn't. Having the companionship of a woman is a beautiful thing for a man.

Just needed to rant a bit.

 

[Warrior74]

Having the companionship of a woman is a beautiful thing for a man.

See I think that's part of my problem. I have compartmentalized women into two types. Those I have as friends and we have great conversations and they adore me and I love them like little sisters, and then there are those I want to bang. The bangers I peruse ruthlessly and don't care about losing. The friends, they are good people that I keep in my life. Usually they aren't as attractive as the girls I bang. It's been so long since I've had both in one woman that I don't really see how it could be any other way. In fact the girls I bang usually get really jealous at how close I am with my female friends.

I just realized that I'm like a chic with orbiters. Hahahaha.

 

[zekko]

I just realized that I'm like a chic with orbiters. Hahahaha.

Do you think any of your female friends would like to bang you?

 

[1 Bad Dude]

I don't think that is really what's going on with f283000, so this is kind of OT, but I can't help myself:

I do agree with some of the principles espoused here, but I don't like to play games or follow rules and scripts. The principles that I believe in are part of my mindset. I have found that I get a far better reaction from women when I am just being myself, than when I try to play these DJ games.


The last thing I am worried about is scaring girls away. That sounds about as AFC as it can get, being worried about scaring girls away.
I don't do Facebook, and I don't generally email women. I do text them now and then. I am not at all worried about it scaring them away. They enjoy it. And if they don't like it, then you know what they can do with it. If it scares them away (which I have never seen evidence of - rather the opposite), it's their loss.
Of course I don't sit and text them for hours at a time either.


I have focused on the same girl solely for the past eight years, and she has not dropped me like a bad habit yet.
I have focused on other areas of my life, but she is the only girl I've focused on. I will flirt with others occasionally, but it's very light and casual, and I don't make a point of shoving it in her face.

Just believe in yourself, and forget all this DJ nonsense. Whether or not I text someone, it's going to be because it's what I want to do, not because someone told me what to do on a dating forum.

Maybe I should have used different words. I only have sex with one girl at a time. But, I am always flirting and being sexual with most available women whenever and where ever. Situation appropriate of course. If I don't occasionally ignore which ever girl I'm with, it doesn't last. If I be the gentleman an refuse to return flirts in front of her, it doesn't last. A woman has to KNOW that she is easily replaceable or she stops loving you.

Even if you don't do these things overtly, you must convey it somehow or she won't stay. The guy that goes to work everyday and rarely if ever contacts his wife while away is covertly conveying this to her. If he gets a cell phone and proceeds to connect with her throughout the day regularly then she'll get the idea that he won't leave and then it's over.

I have options so I don't "worry" about scaring them away. But that doesn't mean I don't "wonder" what/if I did wrong when one stops responding. If you second guess your actions you will eventually stop taking action altogether. As in what happened to this guy. He likes baseball and so does she. He goes and checks out her blog, but because of his enthusiasm and/or eagerness to connect with her he's probably lost her. Had he done what I said his odds would have been much better, but guess what, IT'S FAKE. It's not what he wanted to do. AFCs do what they want to do and they get punished for it.

Maybe I'm just having my mid-life crisis. Maybe f283000 is too. The advice I got from close friends is to travel. Multiple destinations with short stays at each and that'll make feel alive again. Which they're probably right considering the only tv shows that captivate me anymore are the Bear Grylls/survivor type shows. So I'm making plans to backpack europe and asia.

 

[zekko]

A woman has to KNOW that she is easily replaceable or she stops loving you.

I think the thing with me is, my girl does know that I could easily replace her. She knows I'm a catch, and I don't need to overtly flirt with women in front of her to prove it. It simply isn't necessary. She doesn't flirt with guys in front of me, so I don't flirt with women in front of her. To me, that would be disrespectful. But what works for one person may not work for another.

You definitely don't want to smother a girl with too much attention, but I learned that early on (like in high school). But I don't go out of my way to ignore her for stretches either. The thing is with my LTR, we don't play games with each other. That's why I like her. If it was necessary to "game" her so much, I don't imagine I would be with her. Because frankly to me, it isn't worth the effort. Either she wants to be with me or she doesn't.

If she doesn't, that's okay, I can find somebody else. I've lost women before, I know it isn't going to kill me.

Maybe I'm just having my mid-life crisis

It was a mid life crisis that brought me here. I realized I was going to turn 49, and that made me think OMG, I'm going to be 50! And that made me think maybe I'm not going to be the mature older male anymore, I'm just going to be the old guy.

I went through the same thing when I was 29 and 39 too. It's short lived, fortunately. Just a period of adjustment. You kind of have to change your self image a bit, or come to the realization that you don't have to.

 

[omkara]

I don't think that is really what's going on with f283000, so this is kind of OT, but I can't help myself:

I do agree with some of the principles espoused here, but I don't like to play games or follow rules and scripts. The principles that I believe in are part of my mindset. I have found that I get a far better reaction from women when I am just being myself, than when I try to play these DJ games.


The last thing I am worried about is scaring girls away. That sounds about as AFC as it can get, being worried about scaring girls away.
I don't do Facebook, and I don't generally email women. I do text them now and then. I am not at all worried about it scaring them away. They enjoy it. And if they don't like it, then you know what they can do with it. If it scares them away (which I have never seen evidence of - rather the opposite), it's their loss.
Of course I don't sit and text them for hours at a time either.


I have focused on the same girl solely for the past eight years, and she has not dropped me like a bad habit yet.
I have focused on other areas of my life, but she is the only girl I've focused on. I will flirt with others occasionally, but it's very light and casual, and I don't make a point of shoving it in her face.

Just believe in yourself, and forget all this DJ nonsense. Whether or not I text someone, it's going to be because it's what I want to do, not because someone told me what to do on a dating forum.

Are you like one of those guys who's like, here to show us the error of our ways or something? hehe

 

[Paintballguy]

I feel as though I am the same way with women. I see a woman I want, and I will pursue until I get what I want. Then, I will get bored and drop them. I can't figure out why I'm like this also.

 

[squirrels]

I feel the same way a lot of the time.

I guess I still "pedestal" women too much. Not that I think of them as "too good" for me, but when I meet a girl with a cute face and an interesting smile, I expect there to be a lot of interesting stuff behind it.

Seems like there almost never is. Now I'm not asking for a "smarty-pants" girl, and I'm definitely not asking for one who THINKS she's smart when she isn't. I'm just looking for someone who can hold an interesting conversation, who seems "bright".

And most women just aren't that. Most people in general aren't. To have someone in my life for any extended period of time, they have to be a little "brighter" than the average moron.

So I'll get the girl...then maybe 3-4 dates in I'll suddenly realize that, "hey, this girl is cool and all, but take away the f**king and there's really nothing to talk about".

This girl I was dating a couple weeks ago is a perfect example. Short little thing with a smoking body. At first she seems to have that adversarial "edge" I kind of like in a woman. Plus she's well-travelled, been abroad, etc. So I think maybe she's "clever". But every time I talk to her, "What've you been up do?" "Nothing." She works, comes home, sits in bed and watches Jersey Shore, probably finding enough gym time to stay reasonably fit.

She seemed interesting on the surface when I first met her, but she held up that adversarial attitude a little too long, so I'm wondering what she's hiding. Slowly I'm finding out. Not much. And of course, she's concerned about me trying to get into her pants. All the ones that have little behind the pretty face always want you to "wait".

It gets to the point where the "mating dance" gets old. You do it with very high expectations, and 9 times in 10 you're sadly disappointed. I don't even like bothering to talk to girls any more. Especially at my age...they all want to "date first" it seems.

It'd be fine if I could just go out and pick up a girl and bang her that night. Like I said, maybe I need to go back to the college bars. Girls in their mid-20s to mid-30s...all they do is whine about how guys are "only about one thing". I really think it's the economy...when it was on an upswing and society could afford to give women jobs, they had their OWN money and could afford to be a little more "free", indulge their bodies AND minds more. With the economy on a downswing, all they can think about is finding some well-to-do sucker to marry and breed with for security.

 

[Julius_Seizeher]

My philosophy is, that fulfillment must come from the self-from the expansion of one's life, from the joy of creating and producing, from the satisfaction of self-reliance.

I came into this world alone and I will go out alone. What happens in between is up to me.

 

[st_99]

I think you're suffering from an all or none mindset.

Meaning, I don't feel like a 14 year old virgin with butterflies in my stomach anymore when I'm with a girl so I must not care about girls.

I don't feel like hanging out with my friend everyday anymore so I must hate him, I guess our friendship is over. etc..

I think you're over thinking it and creating drama and theatrics in your head, kind of what girls do. "Its like, oh my god! I'm soooooo over this!"

 

[zekko]

Are you like one of those guys who's like, here to show us the error of our ways or something? hehe

For good or bad, I've never been able to adhere to herd mentality, whether it be here or anywhere else. I don't blindly accept what I read here. A lot of guys come here, check out the philosophy, and follow along. The main thing is to THINK FOR YOURSELF. Don't just blindly follow along and do something just because the "cult" of the DJ tells you to.

Here's a thread I recently read on the RSD forum. It talks about the way Alex instructs his bootcamps, and how that seems to contradict certain RSD philosophies. As one of the posters says, there's more than one way to skin a cat. Alex teaches what he believes, and what works for him.

http://www.rsdnation.com/node/183676

No matter what SoSuave teaches you, there is not just one way to win women. In fact, there are so many different personality types here, I would argue that there are as many ways to get women as there are personalities. Take what works for you and use it, don't just do something because a poster on here told you to.

Some of the advice on here is great. Some of it is outdated, irrelevant, or just silly, like "Never text a woman". I've seen so many young guys play the texting game successfully.

 

[Zunder]

Most women are boring are they not.
And I don't mean they sit on the couch don't go out boring...party girls are just as boring.
I think it rare to find a fvckable woman that you also want to do "stuff" with.

To me this comes back to a Roissyism: "You shall make your mission, not your woman, your priority".

 

[Warrior74]

Do you think any of your female friends would like to bang you?

I wouldn't be surprised.My "best friend" (she tells me that I'm her best friend,what are we, in third grade over here? OMG BFF4L!). I used to date, but she was a trainwreck so I dropped her. She's married now, but every couple of months she gets drunk and tries to give me some. She sends me texts about once a week saying she loves me and misses me. Calls me all the time. I don't see how her husband puts up with that.

In fact most of my so called female friends are married to boring beta guys and call me all the time and their husband know. It would bother the **** outta me if my wife was calling some single guy who was not a fruit. As it stands I try not to even talk to the married ones that much. 2-3 mins tops. I never call them unless I need something.

 

[zekko]

She's married now, but every couple of months she gets drunk and tries to give me some. She sends me texts about once a week saying she loves me and misses me. Calls me all the time. I don't see how her husband puts up with that.

No doubt these guys have bought into the idea that they cannot object to the idea of their women having male friends. If you do, you will be labeled "jealous, controlling, insecure, and possessive". The threat of feminine shaming keeps these guys in line while the girls go play with whoever they want. Your story just confirms that it's better to remove the temptation.

 

[Tazman]

For good or bad, I've never been able to adhere to herd mentality, whether it be here or anywhere else. I don't blindly accept what I read here. A lot of guys come here, check out the philosophy, and follow along. The main thing is to THINK FOR YOURSELF. Don't just blindly follow along and do something just because the "cult" of the DJ tells you to.

No matter what SoSuave teaches you, there is not just one way to win women. In fact, there are so many different personality types here, I would argue that there are as many ways to get women as there are personalities. Take what works for you and use it, don't just do something because a poster on here told you to.

Not that these things don't exist, but this has nothing to do with Sosuave, and everything to do with the individual that comes here. Sosuave does not promote a "herd" mentality. Telling guys to do "whatever works for you" is akin to saying "just be yourself", which does not provide any insight into how women work.

If a guy cannot come here, read, filter, and contextualize the information pesented, there is nothing anyone here can do about it. Understanding these concepts and in what circumstances to apply them, requires a certain level of critical thought, not everyone is going to "get" it.

That's why in some cases it helps to run a "script", because some guys need practice, they actually need things dumbed down so that they can begin to grasp the larger picture and hopefully internalize what's important.

Contrary to popular belief, women are not all that different from each other, there is a definite pattern of behaviors they engage in, even across ethnicities. These are what should be paid attention to. Guys here tend to give advice based on the information provided by the person asking quesions, which usually isn't enough.

Coming here and being open minded about what you read is quite the opposite of herd mentality. Most guys I know are completely oblivious to the reasons behind their frustrations with women.

 

[zekko]

Sosuave does not promote a "herd" mentality. Telling guys to do "whatever works for you" is akin to saying "just be yourself", which does not provide any insight into how women work.

I actually think "be yourself" is good advice, although to a very insecure guy it's obviously insufficient. The problem a lot of guys have is that they get around very attractive women and they can't relax and be themselves. They get too nervous around the girl they have oneitis for, and start to behave weirdly, trying to impress her.

If you have true confidence, that allows you to relax and be yourself. Relaxing and being yourself displays confidence. I think that is more likely to attract women than any pickup tricks. At the end of the day, you're going to have to be yourself. Try to make it your best self. The emphasis on self improvement on this site is good.

I do think there is a herd mentality here. Maybe the site doesn't officially promote it, but it has formed. People pride themselves on escaping the "matrix" of mainstream society, but they come in here and just look for a different set of people to tell them what to do. One problem is people want to micromanage and make minute rules for every possible situation. There was a thread "What does a DJ have for breakfast?" which was satirizing this.

People coming here with an open mind is a good thing. Hopefully they don't end up brainwashed by the whole pickup mentality. I guess some of the more inexperienced fellows need to follow the rules and the structure, I don't know.

 

[Wolfgang D]

This is a big problem i'm having. I'm the type of guy that when learning something new I like to try and get really good at it fast, try to master it, try to do it a lot. I just have a big drive to succeed, but the problem with that it's that once I get too good at it or get too much of it I become unfulfilled by it.

For example food. I can go to a new restaurant and if I really like the food i'll keep going and going everyday of the week for the same meal I liked. So what was once a brand new exotic dish I tasted and loved then becomes nothing special to me. I don't like to measure myself I like to get what i want and fast and lots of it right away.

This is the problem i'm having with women. Once I got good with them I just didn't care as much about them anymore. Before I used to sarge now I just wait for the ones that give me buying signals and then I strike. I don't see the need anymore to approach and to play the game.

They just don't fulfill me anymore.

This is not uncommon. It has to do with your instinct to problem solve and overcome obstacles, and you have that instinct strongly. I am the same way, I want to solve something, experience it, and then get to know it completely, and only then can I leave it. Exactly the same way with food. Same with music and other entertainment. I have come to embrace it, instead of spreading things out evenly like a mother would advise her son. I suck the marrow out of something until I am satisfied, then move to the next thing.

You don't want to do more things with a woman because they won't match your problem-solving spirit. The women you meet aren't your equals as explorers. These aren't women who will be interesting in reading thorougly about English Medieval history one month, and then exploring a mountain the next. You don't want the settled-down, routine life that they want, where you go to work and go back home, go to the restaurant and the movies in the weekend to show people you two are part of the herd. There is no challenge in that.

What can I say? Maybe you'll find the kind of intellectual, interesting girl with some fire in her that would be suitable partner - partner as in fellow explorer, not as in romance. Otherwise, you are bound to settle for the rote existence as you age. We all die a little as we age. When you are say 35 you'll want a single woman because you'll know you won't get sex any other way.