Help with wife

[trucker]

I have been married 13 years and have 3 kids by her, my wife wanted a seperation about a year ago and started seeing a guy while we were seperated... About a 2 months ago we got back together and was doing great and was trying hard to put our marriage back together "but" she found out she was pregnant and she say's its his kid, cause she is 3 1/2 months along and she was with him at the time, I'm fixed.....

Well I was still wanting to work on our marriage but we got into a big fight 3 weeks ago Sat. she left the house went to her moms and started seeing him again... I have to see her every day because of the kids, she came up to me yesturday and say's she broke up with this other guy again and she wants to try again... I don't know what to do...

 

[Lost In Translation]

trucker you have already posted this thread on the mature mens forum

http://www.sosuave.net/forum/showthread.php?s=&threadid=79407

if you wish to move it here to the main forum ask a MOD to help you

if you post the same thread in every forum people will think you are a TROLL and no one will help you

and the MODS will hunt you down

 

[trucker]

Sorry I thought if I posted here I wouldget more replies...Thanks

 

[Morphiex]

even though u arent his biological father u can still raise him / her as your own....

My defenition of a parent isent the dna its how much love u have for the kid....
SO many parents these days dont even deserve to have children and should be castrated but anyways back to you i think u should try to work it out with your wife and accept the kid as your own....

 

[trucker]

The childs father wants to be in the childs life and be there for it, can I tell him no......

 

[BigMike]

Originally posted by trucker
The childs father wants to be in the childs life and be there for it, can I tell him no......

I'm really sorry about your situation. I for one could NOT live like that for a minute. She has already questioned your relationship on more than one occassion. I would be on my way if I were you.

Of course, I would still be the best dad on earth

 

[Lost In Translation]

yes trucker and because he will have access to the child he will have access TO YOUR WIFE

for the next 18+ years

he comes over to pick up the child for a visit and he sees your wife standing there

the old flame will not die

start making plans for an evac

look deep inside yourself and find the strength to protect your future

 

[Morphiex]

id rather have u try to make it go onwith ur wife ... u have to think of your kids and the effect this will have on them....

about the other dude if he wants to talk to his child then u cant really deny him that, but if he put the kid in danger or something like that then i think u should get a atterny.... but u can still be a father for the kid....

 

[BigMike]

Originally posted by Morphiex
id rather have u try to make it go onwith ur wife ... u have to think of your kids and the effect this will have on them....

about the other dude if he wants to talk to his child then u cant really deny him that, but if he put the kid in danger or something like that then i think u should get a atterny.... but u can still be a father for the kid....

I never understand how the guy has to do it for the kids. Why doesnt that apply to his wife? Shouldnt she NOT be getting with the other guy so soon after they seperate for a bit?

 

[Morphiex]

Originally posted by BigMike
I never understand how the guy has to do it for the kids. Why doesnt that apply to his wife? Shouldnt she NOT be getting with the other guy so soon after they seperate for a bit?

1st of all u dont know how long they were seperated and neither do I...
second of all I meant that they both need to work on the relationship, cuz it wont work if only one of them tries....
3rd of all yeah she might have made a mistake but u got to remember that we are all human we are ment to make mistakes and learn from them preferably....

But i am still shure that u have to try to make up and go along cuz if not its gonna have a huge effect on your children... but if u arent in love with her anymore or really cant stand looking at her, then i think u should brake up....

and remember never to fight infront of the children or in the next rooom as the children they have ears and your walls arent soundproof.....

 

[libre]

Dear sir

You are in a rough spot. I don't know if we can help you.

I don't know if «saving» your relationship is possible or even worth it. However, I feel that the odds are against saving it.

In any eventuality, you need to start by thinking of protecting yourself and your kids. You need to plan ahead as there are quite good odds (sorry to put it his way), that your relationship is over with her.

If it is over, I recommend that you get joint stewardship of your children (1 week / 1 week). It's a great arrangement for myself, my ex spouse and my children and I do recommend it. You will need to consider what you would want to do with the child that is yet to be born.

As you are out of town for «trucking» some of the time, you will need to get some arrangements for the kids while you are away.

Perhaps you need to talk to somebody which you can trust around you and which will be able to listen to you and give you advice if need be. It's too bad that priest are probably against separation, but probably they would be able to give you ok advice. How about seeing a psychologist? This person might be able to give you neutral and helpfull advice.

Good luck sir.

 

[TACH]

I happen to agree with Lost on this one. You need to consider yourself. Don't put yourself through years of being unhappy in the situation you will be in. Old flames rarely do die completely, so there's always that in the back of your mind. That staying together for the kids is total bull****. I would have rather my parents split up when they really needed to go different ways than wait for us to grow up.

Doesn't sound like the mother is sacrificing her happiness for the children if she was getting with another man when you two were just seperated. I wouldn't give her the option of getting back with you, trucker. You can still be an amazing father and not be involved with the mother. In the end the only relationship that should be worked on is the one with your kids. The other guy's already in the picture, I don't think he's going anywhere. Do you really want to have to deal with that for 18+ years?

 

[dietzcoi]

Raising a kid your hoe wife had with some other guy while you were separated? Holy
Shiat what is wrong with some of you people?

THis "woman" is going to use your kids to play you like a super-chump! Do not let this happen for God's sake! She is going to run between the two of you chumps and milk it for all it is worth.

Tell her to get lost and get an attorney, NOW!

GOd these hoes, it is just disgusting and the kids have to suffer!

DIetzcoi

 

[MacDiddy]

You need to move on.... Your wife is damaged goods.... She's left you twice and has absolutely no barriers or fears of leaving you again at a whim!!!! You are now seen as the forgiver, the loser that has no other alternative or means to achieve and alternative....

Ultimately you happiness is paramount... You can start over... many men have... and wished they had done it earlier.... Things will never be the way they were because lines have already been crossed...

 

[polo2006]

You will never be able to trust her. Would you want to live like that .

 

[MidnightResistance]

If she wanted to be with you so bad, she'd abort it and not have told him.

I know she is (or has been) your wife for a long time, but any unattached man would step back from this.
As you are seperated, you are an unattached man.

Unless she's willing to get rid of it, step back or you're in for a world of cack

 

[Luveno]

Sir, this is a hard situation but you're not alone- its more common than you think.

I have been finding parallels between investing and dating, and one of the most important investment rules is to CUT YOUR LOSSES AND MOVE ON.

Your ex-wife is playing you for a fool. Your concern is not with her now.

I am sure you love your kids though. If I were you I would get the divorce lawyers to work and get custody of the kids.

As an aside, I love this "separated" business. Although I believe on the whole the entire idea of marriage is stupid, it does state that while you're married there is to be no outside hanky panky.

Since she's obviously been screwing around, I'm sure you could cut her off clean without having to pay her ANYTHING. She broke the vows first.

Jump on this ASAP though - you'd be surprised what story some female empowerment lawyer could spin to empty your wallet.

So, in essence: lose the adulterer, and keep the kids.