help with luring a hot ex-friend in

[mungro]

I need help with working on this one girl who's been a project for awhile now. But this requires a bit of backstory:

Girl is hot hot, but I landed in the friendzone with her over half a year ago because she had a BF at the time and just kept her around because she wasn't bad to look at, heh.

Anyway, she broke up with the BF and now she's free and roaming apparently. For the last month, I've been running some of those ganji games on her... that I read about on here... basically most of it was instinctive... For instance, she would call on the phone or instant message me on the computer and I would "accidently forget to reply". Finally she would just get frustrated and leave a message like, "why are you being a jerk and not answering??" Anyway, I haven't seen her in nearly a month now... So today, she talked to me again and said she's having a party at her beach house she'd "like it if I was there for the party"

What do I do?

Apparently, this beach house is rented by a few girls (who I don't know) and nearly half a dozen other dudes (who I don't know).

Only chick I know is this girl... and apparently she's been "hanging out" with one of the guys from the house from what she suggested to me off handedly...

I feel like this is a less than optimal DJing setup for me... Not that I'm being a wuss about it, I actually have a fairly easy time making friends etc. but I dont' need anymore friends. I've got a target this week and I don't want to go down to this little festivity if i'm gonna be dueling with some dude that's got her isolated already.

On the flip side, I think it would put me on more of a powerful position if I have her come out with me near home (away from the beach). Where I can have her on my own terms, on a date that I control... rather than running to her place where there are other guys already horning in on her... etc.

Also, this girl is hot... a 9... but I know her well and she likes me enough... but she would like nothing more than to set up a few guys to come see her so she can bask in attention. This is a pleasure I rather deny her. Advice is needed please.

 

[crowes22]

If you are trying to sex her, then blow her off on this invite. Tell her you have a date that night.

 

[ghostin]

Well, if you do go, then you can always isolate her and take a nice quiet walk on the beach with her if the party gets boring. Chances are she will only go if she digs you, but if her IL isnt high enough then you will prolly get shot down.

Its a good way to find out where you stand.

 

[mungro]

both good replies...


ghostin
I like the fact that if I go I can gauge her interest level for sure... right now, that's the big hurdle for me... trying to climb out of that friend zone... and of course seeing where I stand now that she's on the proverbial rebound.

crowes22
I'm thinking of something along your lines too... I'm not completely desperate for this girl... but... I'll admit I only have one girl prospect at this time tho and I don't want to make her believe I'm running to her the first chance I get...

I'm thinking its best to just blow her off... tell her something came up... I'm going to hang out with another "person" be a bit mysterious.... and then in a week see if she still wants to come see me... and then get the ball rolling DJ style

 

[suave4sure]

My opinion

I think you should go. Im assuming she basically knows everybody who's going there and you only know the two like you said.

It could honestley be she just wants to see you as a friend but I doubt it. I would feel she wants to see what can happen so if you do go do something exactly like ghostin said. Take her for a walk, try to get close(physically, not mentally at this point, lol) and see how she responds.

If she's responsive and the convo is going well go for the kiss. That's all you need to know. Then you'll know whether everything paid off or not. If not you can stay friends but I doubt the relationship thing will ever happen.

As for the having more power on home turf, "if she's into you she'll be just as responsive at either spot.". Ingrain that into your mind. If she want's or is willing to have something happen it doesn't matter where you put it her, if she's willing to hook up she is, if she's not she's not. Simple as that.

I think the beach thing works good as well cause it's a little more romantic if the stars are out and even if not you still have the sounds of the lapping ocean.

In closing I feel your best shot is at the beach on a walk like "ghostin" becaues most girls like the whole romantic walk thing and on the beach, are you kidding me?

I feel your best shot is to go and take her for the walk and see if she'll hook up or is interested and if not you waste no more time. Ganji games don't always work.

So if you don't go to the party and spend 2 more months trying to ganji her and she was never receptive in the first place, guess what, you wasted an extra two months you coulda been finding another girl.

In conclusion good luck.

 

[GrimPhallic]

Yea but it is all about how you do it dood. I will tell you a forsure way to land her, as I have been in this situation many times before... I love house partys, and most people think they are a DJ's worst nightmare... THE #1 thing to do is become the life of the party... That is always the best way to land a chick at a house party. But you dont have to do that if you arent the type to show off or be loud. I would engauge eye contact with the girl when you get there, and of course smile at her. Do not go to her though. Wait till she comes to you. If she doesnt, then the best thing to do is to make friends with the other girls there. trust me. talk and spit game to other chicks... this is good in many ways - you might find a girl who is better looking and has more interest in you. You might find a fvck buddy, you might find the girl of your dreams, and lastly and most important, your target will see you doing this, and it will make her want you more. You will be ignoring her, and talkin to other chicks. And make sure when you do this that you are in her view - make sure she sees you doing all of that. Eventually, if she is interested in you, she will come to you. That is when you go to the beach, but do not just ask her if she wants to take a walk on the beach with you. That is so AFC. You need to make it known to her that you were going to take a walk on the beach alone (but dont say alone). You know, when the convo gets quit, say: "I was gonna take a walk on the beach." that is it... do not say anything after that, just look into her eyes... while you are doing that I recommend you thinking about fvcking her in your head, really invision it while making eye contact my friend. This is in the bible, if you havent read it yet, you need to do so. if she is interested in you AT ALL, she will invite herself. If not, then go outside and talk to people, and maybe take a little walk to clear your mind. Most important, move on to another chick at the party. That is important, because she will see that you are not hurt or anything like that, and she will think you have no need for her. This will come in later because she will probably be into you afterwards if you do this... And please, dont go out of your way to say anything to the chick, you have to trust me on this dood. This is how a DJ would do it. Also if you are new, which I think two of you are, read the bible a few times, I know that there are some situations in there that match this advice and situation, and it will help... I hope my advice was helpful... good luck.

 

[GrimPhallic]

Oh yeah if you didnt already know - on the 'beach walk' make sure your convo is mostly about her, again, read the bible and you will learn alot about conversation with a girl. Remember to picture you and her fvcking in your head and you will notice a whole change of mood in yourself - the way you talk and walk, will be of sexual nature... That in turn will make her think of you in a sexual way, trust me.

 

[NewMan]

Only chick I know is this girl... and apparently she's been "hanging out" with one of the guys from the house from what she suggested to me off handedly...

Ok - You've got to blow this chick off for this party.

Firsty the reason.

- you don't know anything about the people there. If you knew a few of the girls - and could guarantee that youd get play/time from at least someone there - then it's a possible go.

- If she's hanging with a dude there already - you could just be her Social Proof - a way to get him to make a move on her. Or a way to get him jealous. You don't want to be involved in any of that.

- you want to establish sexual connection with a chick prior to going to one of these house party's - WHEN THE GIRL INVITES YOU. If your inviting her to a house party - then it's cool because you have her on your terms - BUT IT NEVER WORKS OUT (in general) THE OTHER WAY AROUND.


Your next steps.

I'd suggest to do what crowes22 suggested.

Tell her that you have some last minute plans - that you got a date with a hottie that you've been "Working" on. Don't be to obvious about this though - but be excited. If she makes a comment about how hot the chick is - then you can drop in a comment such as -

"Yeah - she's got a great body - and a tatoo/tongue peircing - that's hot as well"

- only add the latter if the chick your working on doesn't have a tatoo or peircing.

Whatever - but the idea is to get her thinking and to get a reaction.

Better yet, go find a date for Saturday anyways.

 

[mungro]

DJs thanks for the tips so far

suave4sure,
for the most part I agree with you... I'm all about finding out this chick's interest level now... I'm not into sitting around and wasting my time anymore... and I like everything you said about the beach being a great place. but I don't agree that if she's into me she'll be receptive at either place... I think since we both live in the same region, her trying to bait me into going away to her "territory" for a party can be a double edged sword... of course if the girl is head over heels for me it wouldn't matter where we are... but I don't know if this is the case yet... she may still need some work and if I show up with my tail waggin to this party, I have to worry about making it work out positively for me.

GrimPhallic,
dude, you're post on houseparties is right on... I think instinctively we all know how this works and from what I've read and experienced so far... you're dead on. assuming I go to this thing I would play it like you outlined. just as a side note, yeah, I'm working my way through the bible as we speak.


NewMan,
right now I'm leaning towards your side... altho some of these posts were great for reference, I got a bad vibe about this party. this girl, tho she's hot is an attention wh0re. she is most def got more than a couple guys lined up at the party who "know her". (myself being one of them). if she's doing the inviting I gotta make sure I'm going into a target rich environment, and the truth is, I don't know who the heck is at this party... if I knew about the girl population I could try to talk to them etc... but I could be walkin into a hostile sausage fest death trap a hundred miles away from my home for all I know... and worse yet, when I show up find out I've been invited as "social proof" as you've pointed out.

Right now, I think my DJ move would be to go ahead and play the ganji mysterious card... and call her and just tell her I got a weekend planned with a special little someone i met recently... maybe we can just get together some other day. (if she's lucky, heh)

 

[coldcoal]

I think you've got your sh*t straight. You're doing fine. First post was good enough thought.

 

[suave4sure]

abcd

You should have mentioned originally that she was a huge attention ***** man. Two points about you not mentioning that.

One my thought was since there's a decent amount of girls living there right now they all have female friends(males too) they'll be inviting too, so if things weren't going how you wanted with her there would be other good looking chicks who you could talk to and see how things went. However if she's an attention ***** and is inviting alot of guy friends then there all going to be going for whatever p u s s y isn't claimed like yourself once they find out she's not receptive. So then it turns into an every man for himself situation on the good looking girls.

The converse side could be she had a friend/s(maybe good looking, maybe not) who she wanted to introduce you or she wanted you to meet her friends to get their opinion on you. On the latter I've had it happen once or twice when I was younger. Some girls are honestly that indecisive that they need their friends to tell em what to do, and who to date. Sad right.

My thing is if she just broke up with her boyfriend unless there was a guy she broke up with him for, going there and showing her you don't have to hang off her arm and meeting and chilling with new people is something girls find sexy.

Most girls "want" a guy who can go to a party of just her friends and be able to let her go off on her own for a little while and he is still able to make friends or hold a decent conversation with people while she does it. In that sense you're giving yourself socialproof in her eye because you're proving that you are a cool guy who can get along with alot of different people. Most girls that are better looking don't want to be pressured early in the relationship(i.e. smothered, early on because for girls and guys it's a turn off)

I mean if you'repulling ganji games which don't work all the time, the best place to do it would be at a party she invited you to. She'd be wondering why isn't he over me like all the other guys I invited down here. What am I doing wrong, all the other guys I invited down have been hanging on me like people that were drowning. If you just don't go she's not gonna think about you one bit unless she's into you.

However, if you go either way you can turn it into a positive. If their are other girls who are single you can flirt and chat them up. If it's mainly a sausage fest with all the girl's having bf's just try to chat up everyone it shows your socialble. Then if she asks about you afterwards people can be like" yeah that "......." guy was cool.

The second situation is what i said in my original post, you wind up hooking up with her or getting some quality time which isn't bad, but if you're not feeling the vibe after a short period break off and go for a walk by yourself and then start chatting up others. Then see what she does.

Either way the only way you can do something bad is if you embarass yourself. I.e. getting too drunk or making stupid comments.

I say you should go. You basically win either way. Home or away. Alot of girls or a sausage fest with very few girls. Girls still dig a guy who can do his own thing while he's with her. That's all I'm saying.

 

[libre]

How about you go to the party and hit on her grilfriends and ignore her? That should stir things up if it can.