Help with girls being mean to me.

[BigOlePappy]

Ok, In pottery class at my college there was this one girl I was talkin to for a little bit, just trying to work on my rapport, eye contact, and flirting by touch. However, I found out she was a heavy smoker and refused to quit because of some pseudoscientific data that she found about lungs healing tar very quickly (this ignorance was a big turn off) well, I teased her about it in a C+F way and she started insulting me back. At one point she chased me down grabbed me and breathed smoke in my face. Well, I think this girl may be flirting with me, but why do it in such a rude way? There is no way a girl who breathes smoke in my face has a chance with me. Anyways....

Everyone comes back in from the smoke break and I start talking to this cute girl and teasing her in a C+F way, she and her friend sitting next to her are eating this game up. Next thing I know the smoker girl and this fat girl (not trying to be mean) start insulting me calling me a jerk and telling me to stop asking so many questions. By nature I am a sensitive person. I don't mean that I am weak, but I get emotionally aroused very easily, which is a good thing for my hobbies: mixed martial arts cage fighting, grappling, and art. However, when a girl says something to me that is insulting I am at a lost for what to do.

On one level, I usually just ignore them, I'm not attracted to them so why would I care. However, my feelings get hurt and I feel disrespected (which is something I CAN NOT STAND) Most of of the time if it were a guy I would punch them (not talking smack or anything) and try break their jaw:box: . But I don't know what to do with girls? I don't wanna look upset and not say anything and try to ignore them because that looks bad and they will keep making fun of me. Also, I can't be witty like normal because my mood is warped from having my feelings hurt and I can't think straight.

Please help. Thanks!

Post Edit: I am not trying to sound like i'm tough or anything in my post. I am not a badass by any means. By I don't take disrespect from ANY guy. I just don't know what to do when a girl disrespects me.

 

[Yapper]

You're a pvssy!

 

[BigOlePappy]

You're a pvssy!

lol thank you for the adivce

 

[BigOlePappy]

I was under the impression that I would get a mature response, but nevermind...

 

[Phyzzle]

It's an off-topic question, methinks. A lot of guys post here about being insulted, or bullied, or their parents are mean to them. It just doesn't have anything to do with this page. I don't know why people keep asking that stuff here.

If you're not attracted to them, then that's that, as far as we're concerned.

 

[unorthodox]

lol thank you for the adivce

You should be grateful for his advice. YOU ARE A PU55Y. That's a condition you must correct, now that you know your diagnosis...... This response is as mature as it gets, if you're interested in helping yourself, let us know we'll guide you toward material that will change your life.

 

[Skel]

I was under the impression that I would get a mature response, but nevermind...

Stupid questions get stupid answers.

 

[KillaCam]

A little harsh on the responses here guys. It's not about the girls, it's about his problem.

Now, onto the problem.

Get hard. Emotions mean nothing when a chick is destroying you. You fight back, you put her in her place. There is such a thing as flirting, and such a thing as being a disrespectful hoe.

"You wanna show some respect before I send you back to the kitchen?". If you aren't interested in her, unleash. She holds no value to you, therefore you can be nothing but a hard ass on her.

Stay strong man. Dignity is of the highest importance in life. Do not tolerate this kind of crap, man or woman. Give them what the bloody well deserve.

Good luck

 

[BigOlePappy]

My problem is that I am a fighter an artist by nature. I was born predisposed to unleashing anger and emotion. However, once I start I cannot stop (which is a good thing when i'm fighting in a cage or knocking a guy's teeth out.) How this makes me a pu55y I don't know.

The problem arises when once a girl talks smack I'm going to punch her, somebody next to her, break something that costs alot, and most likely end up in jail. I am programmed this way and my hobbies all support this mindset... so it is hard to avoid/prevent.

Summary: I have a horrible temper, in most of the things I do this is a good thing. However, when a girl disrespects me I don't know how to put her in her place because there is no "little" or "subtle" retaliation with me. I will blow up and get into trouble.

 

[BigOlePappy]

Also, I think alot of people are misinterpereting the problem. The problem is not that I am being bullied around by girls. The problem is my temper, and I don't know what to do to girls who test it. Bottling it up is the worst... I tore my MCL and PCL and havn't been able to fight since the begining of summer which makes my anger bottle up more.

 

[flexion_]

We can't help you with your temper.

Basically you dished out some insults then the women just came right back at you - if you don't want a similar response then don't insult the women. Picking on someone smoking is not C+F.

 

[BigOlePappy]

We can't help you with your temper.

Basically you dished out some insults then the women just came right back at you - if you don't want a similar response then don't insult the women. Picking on someone smoking is not C+F.

thanks for the advice, and as for my temper i am working on it everday.

 

[Rex Man]

That's like asking us to make you more ambitious. We're not miracle workers here at sosuave. Good job on finding a fatal flaw, now go correct it.

(BTW, enough about your hobbies, they aren't an excuse to be a ticking timebomb.)



Rex Man

 

[BigOlePappy]

Thanks for the advice. I'm over this now and laughing about this topic. I guess this topic was a way of venting.

 

[Cash]

Bítch slap her, with words.

Girls will always test you, some more aggressively so than others. Especially these days where most women think they are men.

Treat her as you would your little sister (if you had one), and belittle her (neg), always with a smile on your face.

 

[zerocelcius]

You sound like my brother! Seriously. You both have a lot in common. Big hearts Even bigger tempers.

He has never been able to control his emotions and never will, they are too strong. Some people can never understand that.

This is going to be a personal battle. As for my advice you are going to have to swallow the anger and put it away for your MMA fights.

Stand up for yourself just remember she is a girl. SO Verbal tit for tat.

IF she is just joshing than you just josh back. BUT if you don't care about her just ignore her. It will get worse before it gets better, but in the end she will just stop yipping.

 

[oakraiderz2]

If a girl EVER blew smoke in my face as an insult i would snap and go off on her about anything possible. Words dont set my temper off, some kinda sh*t like blowing their nasty smoke and smoky breath on me is crossin the line. Just stand up for yourself man. You dont even have to yell, get stern so she knows not to fvck with you. Then leave her alone and dont talk shiii.

 

[Master of the Universe]

Change your perception

Good evening,

After reading your post, here are my suggestions and what I have noticed. If any of what I say to you registers, then great. Otherwise, take what I have to say with a grain of salt.

First of all, honestly I don't think the girl was being that disrespectful. You attempted to attract her using ****y & Funny. No problem, that's just one style. However, if you use C & F with a girl, you have to expect her to hit you back (verbally speaking). This has nothing to do with respect, this is the frame you chose to work within.

So she blows smoke in your face. Big deal. Make fun of her and tell her that she must have a really big crush on you, but you're not that easy. Or tell her that she needs to switch over to menthol, or if the situation is appropriate, kiss her. Or when worse come to worse, and you can't come up with a fast enough response, then just laugh. Laugh the way you would laugh if your four year old niece or nephew were playing with you and are being brats.

You started to talk to other girls, and so she came back to you and "insulted" you. Well, what did you expect would happen? You established this frame-work, she wants your attention again since you're speaking with other girls, so she's going to attempt to regain your attention using the frame that you established.

This is how C & F works. You make fun of her, she does the same to you, it goes back and forth a few times, in the process increasing the sexual tension.

If you're going to get offended by girls behaving this way, then you need to avoid the C & F frame. Use another system that is more in tune to you.

Second, you are not sensitive, as you state. Being sensitive entails having finely tuned senses, which are in touch with reality and provides you with insights and details that most people would miss. If you were sensitive, then you would have understand how your actions caused this type of reaction from the girl. You may have chosen to proceed if you had wished, but you would have understand why you were doing what you were doing and what the external consequences (her reaction) would be.

When girls talk about wanting a sensitive man, they are not talking about a man who gets his emotions hurt easily. They are talking about a man who is sensitive to his environment (including her) - a man who has awareness beyond what is spelled out for him.

Finally, you need to get over your anger and short temper. Emotions like these are a waste of time and energy, and they never help. You are in denial by stating that they are useful in cage fighting. They are not. I know fighters whom I would not want to challenge even if I had a gun and they were bare-handed. Their strength and power does not come from their short-temper, but by their complete control over themselves, including their emotions. You are simply using your physical strength as a crutch to offset your emotional weakness.

You will never be truly happy and fulfilled until you have taken control of your emotions. No matter how great of a physical fighter you might become, you will always feel like you are lacking until you can control yourself. Who cares if you can control someone else (beating the shyt out of your opponent), if you fail when it comes to your greatest adversary - yourself.

And as to the whole thing about feeling insulted, get over it. No one can truly insult you or offend you unless you choose to give them that power over you. You are a fighter. In a fighting match you may be injured, but you cannot be offended. I mean, you're in a fight - you expect your opponent to try to beat you, you can't blame him for that.

Well, that's how to world works too. People in the world may do things to injure you, but they cannot offend or insult you unless you choose to take it that way. And if you do, they win.

As a last note, I hope that you realize that I mean nothing negative from my post. I am simply sharing with you what I have observed and learned in my life, take it with the gesture in which it was given, just like others at one time shared with me the truth that I did not see, or perhaps did not want to see.

Good luck my friend, I wish you success and happiness.

Master of the Universe