pancakepalace
Don Juan
- Joined
- Oct 23, 2004
- Messages
- 112
- Reaction score
- 21
Hi guys,
Quick rundown. I'm in my early 40s. Used to have a tight game. Got married in my early 30s, then divorced after being sick for 4 years. Since 1 year feeling better.
A girl I once knew when I lived in another country called out of the blue and came to visit my city for few days. We were just friends back when I knew her. I was married then and she had a bf. We played in a music group together. I knew her so-so, not super good, but pretty good. She's really hot, and we have many things in common. Some red flags. She is depressed. Had abusive boyfriends in the past.
We hung out 3 weeks ago for a about a week. My game was not tight at all. Had not dated for a while due to being married and sick. Did some AFC moves. Although, I also did some good stuff, like pass a few **** tests. It was strange when I tried to escalate because we had always been friends. A few things happened, but she was reticent. Although, mid way through she invited me to spend the month of july with her in another country. (we both work from home and can relocate at any time). I'm also going to another country next fall for 6 months and she hinted she might want to come. Then, I got too excited and went AFC. The last few days her interest dipped and she no longer talked about the trips. I was just too eager and needy.
She left, and for a week, nothing. Then I send a short text saying she should come with me to that country in fall. She answered saying she might, but not sure.
At that point I scratched it out. Realized I had oneitis. Realized my stupid AFC ways, and decided to use it as a trigger to start dating again. Been getting in shape, reading sosuave, etc... Approached a few girls. Got one date lined up.
Another week passed, and today she messaged me asking about a specific piece of information about something during the time we were together. Something she could easily find out on her own. This was her first initiated contact since she left.
I want to reframe. For the sake of practice. To be like before. I'm wondering how to reply. I'm thinking just to the point and nothing more. Answer her question that's it. Her birthday is also coming up, but I'm thinking of ignoring this. She's been liking my FB posts and posted some photos of us together during her visit. I don't think anything will come out of this, but at least I want to play it as tight as possible from here. I'm really pissed I went AFC. No more.
Do you have any advice?
Quick rundown. I'm in my early 40s. Used to have a tight game. Got married in my early 30s, then divorced after being sick for 4 years. Since 1 year feeling better.
A girl I once knew when I lived in another country called out of the blue and came to visit my city for few days. We were just friends back when I knew her. I was married then and she had a bf. We played in a music group together. I knew her so-so, not super good, but pretty good. She's really hot, and we have many things in common. Some red flags. She is depressed. Had abusive boyfriends in the past.
We hung out 3 weeks ago for a about a week. My game was not tight at all. Had not dated for a while due to being married and sick. Did some AFC moves. Although, I also did some good stuff, like pass a few **** tests. It was strange when I tried to escalate because we had always been friends. A few things happened, but she was reticent. Although, mid way through she invited me to spend the month of july with her in another country. (we both work from home and can relocate at any time). I'm also going to another country next fall for 6 months and she hinted she might want to come. Then, I got too excited and went AFC. The last few days her interest dipped and she no longer talked about the trips. I was just too eager and needy.
She left, and for a week, nothing. Then I send a short text saying she should come with me to that country in fall. She answered saying she might, but not sure.
At that point I scratched it out. Realized I had oneitis. Realized my stupid AFC ways, and decided to use it as a trigger to start dating again. Been getting in shape, reading sosuave, etc... Approached a few girls. Got one date lined up.
Another week passed, and today she messaged me asking about a specific piece of information about something during the time we were together. Something she could easily find out on her own. This was her first initiated contact since she left.
I want to reframe. For the sake of practice. To be like before. I'm wondering how to reply. I'm thinking just to the point and nothing more. Answer her question that's it. Her birthday is also coming up, but I'm thinking of ignoring this. She's been liking my FB posts and posted some photos of us together during her visit. I don't think anything will come out of this, but at least I want to play it as tight as possible from here. I'm really pissed I went AFC. No more.
Do you have any advice?
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