I pulled this outta a file. It's from the DYD dude on breaking up:
Message
Player_Supreme
Pimpin Strong
Posted: Fri Jan 23, 2004 5:03 am Post subject: ATTRACION ISN'T A CHOICE: DYD on break ups
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ATTRACION ISN'T A CHOICE
Explained differently, a woman doesn't CONSCIOUSLY
CHOOSE to feel attracted to a man.
A woman also doesn't consciously choose to STOP
her attraction for a man.
It happens for reasons that seem very illogical to
most men.
The things you were doing when you first met this
girl were EXACTLY the right things for creating
this wonderful feeling of ATTRACTION inside of
her.
And she obviously enjoyed it tremendously.
You mentioned that you didn't feel totally
comfortable at first, but since it was obvious
that she was becoming more and more interested in
you, you kept going... which led to you getting
together with her.
But remember the flip side: If you start doing the
WRONG things, the woman will LOSE her ATTRACTION
for you as well. And it will happen ALL BY ITSELF.
The worst part is that you can't logically
convince her to keep feeling attracted to you. If
you screw it up, you're probably going to screw it
up to a point that is almost impossible to fix.
GIVE HER THE GIFT OF MISSING YOU
What do most guys do as soon as they meet a REALLY
HOT, ultra-attractive woman?
Of course! They call three times a day, and want
to see her all the time.
Attractive women know better than to do this.
When an attractive woman meets a man she likes,
she usually PLAYS HARD TO GET. Instead of calling,
she acts like she's BUSY.
This makes the man try even harder, and pursue her
even more...
It sounds like you did exactly the opposite.
In your email here you say:
"Well, over the next two weeks or so, I kept
coming over and doing things during the days with
her and staying at night. This is when things
began to change..."
No no no!
Over the next two weeks you should have called her
every few days, and seen her maybe three times for
a few hours each.
No "doing things during the days with her and
staying at night"!
You really need to remember to GIVE HER THE GIFT
OF MISSING YOU!
If you're around all the time, you become
predictable, expected, and uninteresting.
On the other hand, if you're mysterious,
challenging, and hard to pin down, she will think
about you and miss the times she's had with you.
DON'T TURN INTO A WUSS
This is one of the biggest mistakes that men make
when they meet a woman that they REALLY like.
I get a lot of emails from saying "I met this
girl, and I used everything I've learned from
Double Your Dating to get her... but now that
we've been seeing each other for awhile things are
changing, and I'm starting to lose control of how
I act... and I'm turning into my old Wussy self..."
As I'm sure you can guess, this is bad bad bad for
attraction.
When you start out by doing things that are
attractive to her, then gradually turn into a WUSS
BAG, you go from her wildest dream to her worst
nightmare right in front of her eyes.
If you figure out how to make a woman feel
ATTRACTION for you, then KEEP DOING WHAT YOU'RE
DOING!
Don't start being a clingy Wuss. Translation:
Don't spend every day and night with her, don't
buy her groceries, and don't try to get her into a
relationship fifteen minutes after you meet her.
You also mentioned a few little words that stood
out for me: "I kept coming over...".
YOU kept coming over. When you're the one coming
to her, then she's the one in control. Think about
it. This is a small point, and it isn't always the
case, but in this situation it makes a difference.
So what should you do now?
You should give her some space. Don't call her
more than once or twice a week, and don't see her
more than once or twice a week for awhile. Don't
pressure her physically, and don't try to push for
a relationship.
DATE OTHER WOMEN! Get out there and go out with
some other women... and when you talk to her don't
hide the fact that you're doing it. Be casual
about it, but feel free to mention it in
conversation once or twice.
GET ON WITH YOUR LIFE.
Don't get hung up, don't obsess about her, and
don't make it important to "win her back". Just
move on.
This combination will give you the greatest chance
of winning her back...
And the next time you meet a beautiful woman that
has an interesting personality, DON'T TURN INTO A
PREDICTABLE, BORING, CLINGY, WUSSY!
You've done a great job getting this far. Now get
back in there and take this to the next level!
And if you're reading this right now and thinking
to yourself "I need to learn this stuff so I can
meet beautiful women like this guy...", then we
have to talk.
One of the most important insights I've gotten
from learning the secrets of how to attract women
is very interesting...
I've realized that if a man doesn't know how to
attract women, it spills over into all other areas
of his life. It's a very special kind of
insecurity that causes a lot of problems in other
areas as well.
Let's face it.
Just about everything that men do to achieve
material success in life is somehow connected to
ATTRACTING WOMEN.
But guess what?
Material success won't make the INSECURITY and the
FEAR go away!
The only thing that WILL make it go away is
actually LEARNING how to attract women.
I know, because I've been there. I can CLEARLY
remember how different I felt inside when I had no
idea how to meet women... and I know how different
it feels now that I do.
My relationships work better, because I'm not
acting AFRAID... afraid that she's going to leave,
afraid I won't be able to find someone else...
etc.
And when I'm single, I'm happy. I don't constantly
worry anymore, not knowing if I'll ever meet
another woman.
I personally think that taking the time to learn
how to make women feel ATTRACTION is one of the
best investments you will ever make in yourself
and your life, period.
It might be THE best investment.
If you'd like to get the best training available
in the WORLD, then you need to get yourself a copy
of my Advanced Dating Techniques CD/DVD Program.
It's a complete education, from the psychology of
how to overcome fear and improve your self image,
all the way to specific techniques for
approaching, meeting, and dating women... and even
how to take things to a "physical level" without
rejection
Ok, it's two weeks since she told me it's over. I was in a real state last week, little food, little sleep and poor morale.
