Try to take up a salsa or samba class these two things help you work on your hips, if you dont have any classes close to you start watching mtv and try to immitate dances that you like on there. Im a great dancer and my houemate i alway asking me how i do it. All i can say is the beat is the most important thing as long as your moving to the beat you will look good.
I like to use my hips alot not over the top but putting a little gyration in there.
Women DO relate dancing to sex becaue effecively i is a mateing dance.
