Help with Bpd exwife

[Focal core]

Hi,
As for u all folks know how it is to be with pwbpd, long story short knowing my ubpd exwife for 8 month before we got married for 2 years before she abruptly left with our 2 kids, smear campaign start right away, false battering accusation with landed me in jail for 11 days and expect more to come as she appeal to high court for longer serv me in jail.
Parental alienation as well in effect as im not allowed to see my kids.
I try to talk it off from her with no avail.. She continue to undermine and destroy me for no reason at all.. I love her with all my heart in our marriages. Theres no reason to do this at all.

The question is when the fak that she will leave me alone? The battle for the custody itself would easily go for 4 years to come.

 

[dude99]

She will never leave you alone as long as she feels she can 'win'

She is getting what she needs at your expense. She is getting endorphins in her brain by smearing and treating you like schit.

Check out @Roobers thread as to how to handle things concerning a cluster b ex.

www.sosuave.net/forum/threads/help-with-ex-wife.242810/#post-2463537

Here is the link. We gave Roober some advice that pertained to his situation. It may be some help.

 

[Roober]

It just takes time unfortunately. Best advice I can give....

1. Take lots of notes
2. Minimize communications helps the most. Don't respond to anything unless you have to!
3. Ignore the mudslinging. She will take jabs, and unfortunately, you just have to ignore it. She is ONLY looking for a reaction
4. Don't give up! Many men lose their kids because they just give up.
5. Not allowed to see your kids? By the courts or by her? Get that fixed immediately. Get an attorney, or figure out what you can do. Fortunately, my ex never did this to me. The longer it goes on, the harder it will be to shift the balance back to equal custody.

 

[Focal core]

She will never leave you alone as long as she feels she can 'win'

She is getting what she needs at your expense. She is getting endorphins in her brain by smearing and treating you like schit.

This is a no win situation, she hired an expensive lawyer and the cost of her travelling alone would made her parents and siblings suffer as shes not working, the family really believed that im the monster hitting her and emotionally abused her where in fact she self battered herself up, taking an abortion pills to show our second child pregnancy was damage in med report and acusing me of doing it by abusing her.. This woman is crazy to the max.

 

[Focal core]

It just takes time unfortunately. Best advice I can give....

1. Take lots of notes
2. Minimize communications helps the most. Don't respond to anything unless you have to!
3. Ignore the mudslinging. She will take jabs, and unfortunately, you just have to ignore it. She is ONLY looking for a reaction
4. Don't give up! Many men lose their kids because they just give up.
5. Not allowed to see your kids? By the courts or by her? Get that fixed immediately. Get an attorney, or figure out what you can do. Fortunately, my ex never did this to me. The longer it goes on, the harder it will be to shift the balance back to equal custody.

Hey roober nice to meet you. Good to have someone in same chores to vent on.

This been going on for 10 months now, yes im hiring an attorney to work on that custody issue, have to give it sometime thou. Im completely full nc since ive gave up to set her off this crazy making she do.. Not even to text abt our children since she wont even consider give me pic of them.. Reaction? Well i wont give her any.

 

[dude99]

This is a no win situation, she hired an expensive lawyer and the cost of her travelling alone would made her parents and siblings suffer as shes not working, the family really believed that im the monster hitting her and emotionally abused her where in fact she self battered herself up, taking an abortion pills to show our second child pregnancy was damage in med report and acusing me of doing it by abusing her.. This woman is crazy to the max.

Document everyting. And get reports from the hospital showing she these abortion pills, or get the report from her pharmacist that she bought them in the first place. Give these to your lawyer. This may even show the courts she is an unfit mother.

Stay calm. Dont mud sling. Dont even react to her.

 

[Focal core]

Stay calm. Dont mud sling. Dont even react to her.

What does my reaction will do to her? Can elaborate more? Thanks

 

[051AV]

Sounds like you've got an ugly mess, yup they love to smear you name to make you look like the bad guy, document everything you have to keep ahead of her. They are sick in the head.

 

[dude99]

What does my reaction will do to her? Can elaborate more? Thanks

Well when you react by getting upset or trying to reason/talk to/yell at/ etc etc, "react" this will just fuel her to continue being a problem.

Her "you're a dead beat an a-hole everything is your fault, what do you have to say for yourself?"

You " we got some rain last night by the looks of it."

Do not hit the ball back. It is what she wants.

 

[Dingo]

Let your attorney do ALL the communicating.

 

[Focal core]

I would be more concerned on finding out what happened, what caused her to do a 360.... I know someone that was always an a-hole to his wife, wife divorced him, 20+ years later and this person still doesn’t know what happened.

Ive always have my boundaries up when she goes ape**** on me i guess that alone would mess her as at the time of our marriage i didnt know what BPD IS until she ghost on me..after she left me i found out, Prior 5 month to that she been recycling with her ex, its the biggest deal breaker for me to dump her at the court and divorcing her.. Now she wont left me alone.. Being nc both of us didnt help.

 

[Focal core]

I will continue to not taking the mudslinging and giving her zero reaction that sound very good advised so far, and maintain emotionally to stabilize myself and my family that supporting me.

 

[051AV]

Try to stay out of jail

 

[Focal core]

Try to stay out of jail

I have a good career.. Hell yeah jail is a big no no for me mate..