HELP.... with a entire dating life... i feel like a loser

[SOCOM]

I'm 15, and I've never been on a date.

Don't get me wrong, I'm not a weirdo, geek, or freak, and I've had experience with women in groups, mostly through one of my friends, who always seemed to dominate over me with women. I'm an average looking guy, but I know that had nothing to do with it.

I feel like a real loser, to be honest.
I feel completely out of it, and left behind.

I don't even KNOW where to start with becoming a DJ, or even just learning to talk to women.

I read the article here "Why Very Intelligent Men Fail With Women", and I've never read something that so applied to me. I'm a really smart guy, and that fact hurts rather than helps me with women. My memory is my strongest suit, and I spend a lot of time simply observing people. I watch other people ( and of course beautiful women )and try to learn what makes other guys just so much naturally better, and me such a flop. Needless to say, this is the one thing in my life I've never figured out.

Ever since the boys and girls starting getting together, in 6th grade, I've never felt like a part of it. All through the years in between, I've had girls like me, and me have crushes on girls, but I've never truly acted on anything. I'm in 10th grade now, and I need to start.

Its like failing a grade, but instead of being held back, you continue on. Everyone else gets better at it, but you never do. Most of all, you have no opportunity to learn what you missed.

I used be very fearful of talking to women. I'm a lot less scared now, but I still imagine all sorts of nightmare scenarios to get me out of the need to face reality.

I'm now entirely sick of my predicament, and decided that it was time for me to get into the real world.

I need help, some serious help.
It would be greatly appreciated.

 

[Nivek]

only one thing to do and that is to read the dj bible. but seriously you don't even have to do that. just realize that your wasting your time moping instead of using it to get the girl of your dreams. alas, i am much like you. i also can't seem to talk comfortably with girls that i have an attraction to. it sucks because girls that i don't find attractive enough to go out with, i can be so smooth around them, but if i'm attracted to the girl, i tense up and my nervousness ****s it up. but enough of me, just go and do it. regret is worse than rejection.

-Nivek

 

[AC/DC]

Ok buddy, don't worry. Let's go over this bit-by-bit.

Originally posted by SOCOM
I'm 15, and I've never been on a date.

Don't get me wrong, I'm not a weirdo, geek, or freak, and I've had experience with women in groups, mostly through one of my friends, who always seemed to dominate over me with women. I'm an average looking guy, but I know that had nothing to do with it.

I feel like a real loser, to be honest.
I feel completely out of it, and left behind.

I don't even KNOW where to start with becoming a DJ, or even just learning to talk to women.

Welcome to the Don Juan forums. I felt just like this when I started out freshman year. 3rd month of freshman year, I got rejected by one girl to a dance. I started crying to her best friends because I thought she'd say yes

Believe me when I say knowledge is power. Stay on these boards, follow veteran posters around and look at what they say.

I'm a senior in high school, I'm dating a total babe. People still think I'm the same kid I was as a freshman, but regardless, I pulled a fine prom date last year, and am now dating this girl this year, and people at elast respect me enough.

I read the article here "Why Very Intelligent Men Fail With Women", and I've never read something that so applied to me. I'm a really smart guy, and that fact hurts rather than helps me with women. My memory is my strongest suit, and I spend a lot of time simply observing people. I watch other people ( and of course beautiful women )and try to learn what makes other guys just so much naturally better, and me such a flop. Needless to say, this is the one thing in my life I've never figured out.

I was once brilliant. To be honest, ever mid-soph year, when I started to finally change, I stopped reading, started rapping. I stopped thinking and started acting. It did wonders for my game, but not for my head. I'm currently failing 3 classes because I chat with people on AIM all the time. STAY SMART, DON'T FLUNK. That will be the first step towards failure at everything else.

Ever since the boys and girls starting getting together, in 6th grade, I've never felt like a part of it. All through the years in between, I've had girls like me, and me have crushes on girls, but I've never truly acted on anything. I'm in 10th grade now, and I need to start.

Its like failing a grade, but instead of being held back, you continue on. Everyone else gets better at it, but you never do. Most of all, you have no opportunity to learn what you missed.

I used be very fearful of talking to women. I'm a lot less scared now, but I still imagine all sorts of nightmare scenarios to get me out of the need to face reality.

Haha we all do. The worst she can say is no, and tell all her friends who will point and laugh at you. But do YOU care what they think? AT LEAST YOU HAD THE BALLS TO ASK.

I'm now entirely sick of my predicament, and decided that it was time for me to get into the real world.

I need help, some serious help.
It would be greatly appreciated.

High School Don Juan Bible is your friend.
On AIM, "HangTen3000" is your friend (thats me )

It's gonna take time, but you'll get it. After all, you're a smart kid.

 

[Caldus]

Relax dude. I didn't get my first date until I was 19 years old. It just takes more time for some people because it just happens to be that way. You are your own worst enemy when it comes to stuff like this. Sounds like you're already making an effort to get one so I think it's only a matter of time before you get your first date.

 

[Mr. Debonaire]

ya dude, im 18 and i've NEVER been on a "date"

I just "hang out". its a simple concept, i meet a girl i like, theres mutual interest, i say lets hang out. because i enjoy her presence, and i want to spend time with her. then, if i want to or i get a prime opportunity i make a move.

date's are too formal, in my opinion. its like in highschool when you "ask a girl out" this is just a formality, like signing a contract. if you like each other, then see each other. simple

 

[Sanity_Cleaver]

Dude, seriously, if i were you I WOULDNT WORRY ABOUT A THING

I know exactly what youre on about as i was in that exact position myself.

15 is a tough year- in fact i think the 14 to 16 bracket is the hardest part of all your growing up. Its when so many outside influences push you to conform and fear of being different hurts you bad. Lots of guys i knew were getting lots of girls when i was 15 and i wasnt and damn i felt left out.
But the funny thing is- your high school experience seems to dictate exactly what the rest of your life ISNT going to be like. You just have to grow into your shoes, thats all.
You dont fit in anywhere socially- but thats just because you havent found your niche.

It a tough time for you, but trust me- it will end and good times will start piling in once you hit the end of school or leave it completely- when everyone else is a lot more comfortable in the own skin.

And from your post, i say youre trying too hard. Your obviously still not comfortable in your own skin, and youll only start to pull the babes when you are.
My advice: you may be jealous as hell, but forget about the ladies. Ive been out of school for 3 years now (WTF am i doing on the high school board??), but a queer fact of life is that all the guys who never got girls in high school when i went are pulling them now. It jsut takes a bit of time.

By all means, work on your DonJuanism- use this site to develop your social skills (because theyre very imporant) but dont make it the most important thing in your life. There are billions of things out there other than women. Take my word for it, i made that mistake and fixed it too late for my liking.

Find something you really like and really want on concentrate on it. It might be your studies, it mgiht be something else. For me- when i was 15- it was breakdancing. I practiced and practiced and practiced, and people told me i was sh!t sh!t sh!t, but i jsut kept going because i kind of fell in love with it. But after 3 years i got my moves down tight tight tight. At the end-of-school prom/formal night thingy i busted out the best set i ever did- babies, 90s, air swipes- and EVERYONE went off; slapping my back and congratuating me and everythign like that- i felt hell good! And of a hell of a lot better about it than i did about actually getting myself a date for the evening! Later on i ditched her and went to dance by myself for the rest of the night- i didnt need a woman and i was damn happy without one. I realized all i wanted to do that night was dance and party with my friends- I only brought her along to prove i could get a date in the first place. And you know what? Several girls who had never looked at me twice before came up to dance with me...

So find what you really want and go for it. Youll realise as you go along no amount of fake advice on this site- walking tall or C+F- is going to give you TRUE confidence and happiness, only pursuing your life goals and makign progress on them will. And once you've got that down, the girls come to YOU.

So chill out, its not the wallop of turd you think it is. In 3 years your life will have turned around. Gauranteed.



(And anyway, im damn jealous youve found this site at youra ge, i wish i did! Peace to you, and good luck!)

 

[saminex]

What you need to do is excude confidence. The way you describe yourself shows why you are not getting girls. You are putting yourself down and already have the mentality that you don't deserve female attention.

The first thing you need to do is change that mindset. Your saying the reason you dont get girls is because your too smart. Bullcrap....the reason is because you have mentally associated intelligence with being loser. And through this association you describe yourself as a loser and therefore act like a loser. And what girl wants to be with a loser.Have confidence in your intelligence.

Also What are you doing to get girls. You have described yourself as average joe schmo who sits on the sideline WATCHING girls. Wheres the action???? Do you expect girls to swarm to you???

Remember that show Average Joe?? These tub of lards and geeky dudes were vying for the interest of the hot girl. But mid competition the "Hunks" got there and they started going into a shell as the jocks had the confidence. Needless to say the geeks were sent packing.What you need to do is you need an I dont give a F*** attitude.

That was one of my regrets in high school, I was too self conscious on how people percieved me that I was never aggressive and I realized that was a huge mistake.

So what if she rejects you, so what if she has a boyfriend. It beats where you are. Make the approaches, sit next to the hot girl in class and introduce yourself. It may seem odd or even intimidating but grab your sack and do it. Act like your the **** and you'll be the ****.

 

[AverageFC]

I'm 15, and I've never been on a date.

Dude, you can't even legally drive a car yet. Don't worry about it. I don't see the point in dating if you can't drive.

 

[saminex]

he's 15 not 7 dude.