Help What Did I Do Wrong?

[LoneSilver]

Ok I have no idea what the hell happen but maybe I waited to long to go back and ask her name after I told her I thought she was beautiful and left but heres how it happened today.

Today was a week since I told her I thought she was beautiful and she blushed and thanked me then but today I went in and had planned on going up to her ask her how her day was going if I felt a good vibe or eye contact from her. After I got in line at a cashiers I notice her standing over where she works in the Customer Service area and I also notice her talking to one of her co-workers that came up to me and said sir go right through there and they or the lady the one I like will take care of you over there meaning the Customer Service area which is odd as hell cause Customer Service is unually return goods only.

I thought yeah getting excited thinking babe is going to make it easier for me now and I put a big smile on my face and strutted my ass over there and went right up to her and said thanks I really like this service. She then asked are you buying or returning I thought wtf you should know I'm buying. So while she was ringing my car detailing product, toothbrush and tooth whiting products up I asked her what her name was and she said Rhonda and I told her mine. I then asked her if she lived around here and my gut level was right on shes lives in Alabama which is just a tad from me here in Tennessee. I tried to make small talk and told her my niece is married to a guy from there gave his name. She responded that she hasn't lived in the area long and doesn't know many people. I told her I'd really like to get to know her this was after she was through ringing everything up and this girl never looked at me, never smiled at me and was cold as hell in her atitude toward me and while another co-worker listened and watched. I thought maybe she'd grap a piece of paper and write her number or something but she just seemed aloof so I just walked out saying nothing.

I can live with this but WTF guys should I move on or let her get off the rag and try one more time for this sucks and is the sort of thing I freak on in approaching strangers in public places?

LoneSilver

 

[gunf1ghter]

Maybe it was a bad day at work, maybe she was caught off-guard...at least you went down swinging. You got the worst possible response so I'd say it's a lost cause.

 

[LoneSilver]

Originally posted by gunf1ghter
Maybe it was a bad day at work, maybe she was caught off-guard...at least you went down swinging. You got the worst possible response so I'd say it's a lost cause.

I'd like to think that but she had a coworker walk over to me from the Customer Service area to direct me to her she wasn't caught off guard and she wasn't having a bad day as far as her work was concerned for what I could see it was a light day as far a customers returning stuff. But she planned this for Customer Service is always returned goods and I was buying and she had the coworker specifically come and get me no one else just me.

I'll leave it there and lick my wounds.

Thanks for your reply though.

LoneSilver

 

[Craig Reeves]

Hey LoneWolf...

Y'know, I always say, "If ya want to date hot women, ya gotta learn to speak their language." And it's pretty obvious from your post that you weren't really clear on the underlying things going on here.

You said that you walked up to her and told her she was beautiful. I'm pretty sure that you were sincere in your compliment, and I'm also pretty sure that the woman that you were saying this too felt that you were sincere about it as well (most hot women are pretty proud of themselves). However, as much as she KNOWS she's beautiful, and as much as she knows you want her, she ended up placing you in the category as just another guy who succumbed to her beauty.

Now I know this is tough to understand but think about this...

You gave her a really big compliment yet she didn't do anything for YOU to DESERVE this compliment. This is how SHE took it. She knew that her beauty was all she needed for you to melt like a cheap snowcone in the Sahara Desert. Women take compliments like GIFTS that they want.

Women aren't turned off by compliments, but once you give one without her having to WORK for one, she's already gotten what she's needed from you. So there's no more point in you talking to her anymore - again, this is how SHE looks at it.

YOUR POV: I'm giving you a compliment because I think you're pretty and I want you to know it, and I'm interested in getting to know you.

HER POV: He's telling me I'm beautiful. It's obvious he's succumbed to my beauty. Now I can say that I have successfully had a guy hit on me. His job is done now. I don't need him anymore since he gave me my ego boost for the day.

Next time, don't compliment women until they do things for YOU first.

 

[LoneSilver]

Originally posted by Craig Reeves
Hey LoneWolf...

Y'know, I always say, "If ya want to date hot women, ya gotta learn to speak their language." And it's pretty obvious from your post that you weren't really clear on the underlying things going on here.

You said that you walked up to her and told her she was beautiful. I'm pretty sure that you were sincere in your compliment, and I'm also pretty sure that the woman that you were saying this too felt that you were sincere about it as well (most hot women are pretty proud of themselves). However, as much as she KNOWS she's beautiful, and as much as she knows you want her, she ended up placing you in the category as just another guy who succumbed to her beauty.

Now I know this is tough to understand but think about this...

You gave her a really big compliment yet she didn't do anything for YOU to DESERVE this compliment. This is how SHE took it. She knew that her beauty was all she needed for you to melt like a cheap snowcone in the Sahara Desert. Women take compliments like GIFTS that they want.

Women aren't turned off by compliments, but once you give one without her having to WORK for one, she's already gotten what she's needed from you. So there's no more point in you talking to her anymore - again, this is how SHE looks at it.

YOUR POV: I'm giving you a compliment because I think you're pretty and I want you to know it, and I'm interested in getting to know you.

HER POV: He's telling me I'm beautiful. It's obvious he's succumbed to my beauty. Now I can say that I have successfully had a guy hit on me. His job is done now. I don't need him anymore since he gave me my ego boost for the day.

Next time, don't compliment women until they do things for YOU first.

It's LoneSilver not Lonewolf but thats OK you can call me Lone now>chuckle.

Now does this imply to women of any age to never compliment them until they do something for you hell this lady kept eyeing the hell out of me but I don't want to explain it here. I'm not really sure how old this lady is but she might be 40 with wrinkle reducing stuff on her face.

But you know it seemed after I got up close to her she didn't appear the hottie I thought she was maybe a 6 or 7. So if thats the case and this failed on someone like that then I got one hell of a problem with my approach with any woman and I place it on my eye condition it just turns women off to have to look at me in a romantic way once they see me up close as I read so much about how to look a woman strange in the eyes etc., etc. Man this experience was one I didn't need to get me back in the groove.

I feel like a total looser as much as I hate to say that but I got to shake myself here and say the magic words.....Its her lost for sure this lady lives in the poorest part of this area and I live in the richest estates area there is in this area.

LoneSilver

 

[flexion_]

Well good effort on trying but I agree that you were toast once you complimented her. Women love mystery... does he like me? etc...

So by giving her a huge compliment from the start you just made the mystery fade away.

Next time if you really must do the compliment thing, say something like nice shoes or cool necklace... that way you are complimenting an item of hers and not directly her...

A good time for a you are beautiful compliment is after a BJ... ;0

 

[LoneSilver]

Originally posted by flexion_
Well good effort on trying but I agree that you were toast once you complimented her. Women love mystery... does he like me? etc...

So by giving her a huge compliment from the start you just made the mystery fade away.

Next time if you really must do the compliment thing, say something like nice shoes or cool necklace... that way you are complimenting an item of hers and not directly her...

A good time for a you are beautiful compliment is after a BJ... ;0

I'll tell ya I have read so much and even David D Double Your Dating says its Ok to give a compliment in cold approaches but don' t give anymore for a long time and in my case it was done and I split the minute after I gave it but just let her know I wanted her to know it and felt it right for the situation. But one dam thing I didn't deserve from this lady was her stone cold face. I have been around and before my eye condition even blowing it bad with women they have treated me with more respect than this woman today mystery or no mystery is to me bull sh*t.

My brother and my sister in law were friends before they married I could be her friend but this lady didn't say if she was married or had a boyfriend or if she was gay total silence after I told her I'd like to get to know her better simply unreal.

LoneSilver

 

[gonzo]

I think you should probably have made the move when you complimented her. A compliment is a means to an end and not an end in itself. You made her smile with the compliment. It appears that you had her in the right frame of mind. And, unfortunately, you walked out on it.

I might have done the same thing that you did. You live and you learn I suppose. But I don't think you should give up on her just yet though. It's worth one more try.

Now you've seen she's not perfect and if you still want to "hit it" as you yanks charmingly put it, I'd suggest taking a more nonchalant playful approach.

And don't worry about complimenting on looks. So what if it reveals that you're interested in her? Approaching her and starting a conversation on a skimpy pretence doesn't say that you're interested? Asking her out on a date doesn't say you're interested? Of course it does. If revealing your interest is a killer, then no chick would go out with you.

Women think that men like anything in a skirt so if you like her, chances are you like a million others just like her. She's nothing special, and she knows it (especially if, like most women, she is insecure). How many women that you come across in a day do you find attractive? Do you think women don't know this?

 

[optimist prime]

LOne, first what eye condition do you have?

Second, I gotta be honest with ya here. Knowing what I know about women, I can almost gaurantee that most girls would think that some strange guy coming up to them where they work, especially with the way you have been making it a point to look at her and then after what you said last week, that you were some psycho stalker guy. Not saying thats what you are doing, jsut what alot of girls would think.

Better luck next time, and try and be more bold and quicker in your approach!

 

[Reach]

Saying "i'd like to get to know you" is so lame. You should have just said "I'm going to be at blah blah, if you feel like it come there later". I've been frozen out like that before, the best thing is to just move right onto the next girl, preferably right infront of the other one.

 

[LoneSilver]

Originally posted by gonzo
I think you should probably have made the move when you complimented her. A compliment is a means to an end and not an end in itself. You made her smile with the compliment. It appears that you had her in the right frame of mind. And, unfortunately, you walked out on it.

I might have done the same thing that you did. You live and you learn I suppose. But I don't think you should give up on her just yet though. It's worth one more try.

Now you've seen she's not perfect and if you still want to "hit it" as you yanks charmingly put it, I'd suggest taking a more nonchalant playful approach.

And don't worry about complimenting on looks. So what if it reveals that you're interested in her? Approaching her and starting a conversation on a skimpy pretence doesn't say that you're interested? Asking her out on a date doesn't say you're interested? Of course it does. If revealing your interest is a killer, then no chick would go out with you.

Women think that men like anything in a skirt so if you like her, chances are you like a million others just like her. She's nothing special, and she knows it (especially if, like most women, she is insecure). How many women that you come across in a day do you find attractive? Do you think women don't know this?

Thanks Gonzo, I agree. I'm going to continue doing my weekly shopping there and maybe really just move on though. I mean I felt like the husband going through a bad divorce with her coldness. If she felt I was a shalker as one poster pointed out then why would she tell me where she lived after I asked? A woman who has that concern don't tell a man that unless shes a little comfortable I suppose.

The irony of this whole thing is after I did find out where she lives shes in the poorest of poor area around here and I live in the wealthest estate area around here known for its beauty and pricey homes not that I'm being irrogant but if she only knew and then again if she did shes properly the type that doesn't give a sh*t how big a mans wallet is.

But I'll be OK and thanks everyone who posted a reply I know you all mean well and I appreciate it more than you guys know.

LoneSilver

 

[yunghova35]

Wow man you have sum issues you should deal with. Where you and her live have NOTHING to do with this.


But back to the topic, I don’t thin you understand that she prolly doesn’t even know WHO the hell you are, she works in a store do you know HOW many people she see’s /talks to and get hit on a DAY. (this is why you should have went for it the FIRST time you saw her.

And the second thing WHY do you assume she’s not having a bad day??? Because the store isn’t crowded?? you never know WHAT is going on in her personal life.



And lastly get over the damn oneitist.

 

[LoneSilver]

Originally posted by yunghova35
Wow man you have sum issues you should deal with. Where you and her live have NOTHING to do with this.


But back to the topic, I don’t thin you understand that she prolly doesn’t even know WHO the hell you are, she works in a store do you know HOW many people she see’s /talks to and get hit on a DAY. (this is why you should have went for it the FIRST time you saw her.

And the second thing WHY do you assume she’s not having a bad day??? Because the store isn’t crowded?? you never know WHAT is going on in her personal life.



And lastly get over the damn oneitist.

Maybe you need to read my first post on this lady the very first one and how it all got started and why I was relectant to approach the first time. It's easier said and done and if you don't know what its like or have the same eye condition then you don't know diddly dude in what this does to your game or confidence.

As far as assuming if a lady is having a bad day she sure hells doesn't have her coworker come and specifically get me to come over to her and cash me out in a Customer Service returns goods only area come on dude. If she was having such a bad day she wouldn't even want to see my fuc*ing face or give me the cold shoulder but at least I found out her dam name and where the hell she lives so I guess I didn't appear the stalker to her as one may have assumed.

I agree her being in the poorest area in comparsion to me doesn't mean nothing. I was just pointing out the irony of it all as some women tend to judge a man by the car he drives in how big his wallet is and some women are just plane and simply gold diggers and if it was the case with this one and if she judged me by my truck she lost big time and thats not to say I would have bought her love either.

I'll leave it there but thanks for the reply anyway.

PS. What is Oneitist?

LoneSilver

 

[yunghova35]

Originally posted by LoneSilver
Maybe you need to read my first post on this lady the very first one and how it all got started and why I was relectant to approach the first time. It's easier said and done and if you don't know what its like or have the same eye condition then you don't know diddly dude in what this does to your game or confidence.

As far as assuming if a lady is having a bad day she sure hells doesn't have her coworker come and specifically get me to come over to her and cash me out in a Customer Service returns goods only area come on dude. If she was having such a bad day she wouldn't even want to see my fuc*ing face or give me the cold shoulder but at least I found out her dam name and where the hell she lives so I guess I didn't appear the stalker to her as one may have assumed.

I agree her being in the poorest area in comparsion to me doesn't mean nothing. I was just pointing out the irony of it all as some women tend to judge a man by the car he drives in how big his wallet is and some women are just plane and simply gold diggers and if it was the case with this one and if she judged me by my truck she lost big time and thats not to say I would have bought her love either.

I'll leave it there but thanks for the reply anyway.

PS. What is Oneitist?

LoneSilver

If you have a eye condition and it hurts your ego, WEAR GLASSES.

If you think a coworker in the same store saying "get in this line" is sum great omen YOUR WRONG they WORK there, there SUPPOSED to HELP you, or take care of you. ITS THERE JOB!!!

and if you dont kno what oneitis is you shouldnt be here.

 

[LoneSilver]

Originally posted by yunghova35


If you have a eye condition and it hurts your ego, WEAR GLASSES.

If you think a coworker in the same store saying "get in this line" is sum great omen YOUR WRONG they WORK there, there SUPPOSED to HELP you, or take care of you. ITS THERE JOB!!!

and if you dont kno what oneitis is you shouldnt be here.

Excuse me bro apparently you don't read well and you need Glasses.

Glasses won't help my condition or will they correct it thats been my whole reason for coming here bro to sort this issue out and to gain insights into the minds of women and how they might think from seasoned DJ not amatures like yourself bro.

The coworker didn't say get in this line as in another cashiers line. If you have ever been to a Walmart you can see how it is laid out. You have cashiers and then you have off by itself the Customer Service area where RETURNED GOODS ONLY ARE RETURNED and where this lady works as a Customer Service Rep.

As far as you kind comment about me not knowing what oneitis is and if I didn't know I shouldn't be here. I think your a bit rough and personally with your attitude you can kiss my***
which is sad for your the first that's been an a** while everyone else has been pretty dam cool about all of this.

LoneSilver