HELP! She's playing games! Should I go to the club?

[One on One]

Background: Met girl in class about 1.5 months ago. Been meeting her at clubs on weekends.

At first, everything was straight. She had high IL and she would initiate phone calls, return all calls, etc.

Then, after meeting her at the club last week, I think she got a hint that I had high IL as well. I made some mistakes last week by not having fun and dancing with other girls, but that is over and done with. The next day I was talking to her on IM (I limit my IM conversations so I don't need advice on this being bad) and she brings up the fact that she's been "kinda seeing" someone.

I take this as a hint that she's not interested and I should back off. So, my plan was to not call her this weekend and ring her sometime early next week. I wanted to get her wondering why I wasn't contacting her and starting getting all upset.

Then, I check my phone tonight and I got a message from her to call her back so I do (I always return phone calls and she doesn't mess around with this either so I'm sticking with common courtesy). She tells me she's going out to a club tomorrow and obviously wants me to go without asking. I tell her I'll think about it and call her back tomorrow. She called around 11 and I got back to her around 12. I think I left the impression that I had done something fun tonight, but didn't have to say what I did (actually did nothing). I ask her what she did tonight and she says she just went over to a friend's and got kinda drunk.

LIE! She was online all night (I have another SN and I saw her on all night). I can tell by her voice...she didn't drink nothing and stayed in all night. So, this tipped me off she's playing games.

Also, starting last week she seemed to start dropping terms like she's doing something with a guy friend, the thing about seeing someone, etc. I wasn't seeing those signs before.

I want some opinions on what is going on here and whether I should meet her at the club tomorrow. And, what my subsequent strategy should be.

 

[WatchMeWalk]

Dude. Just because she was logged in all night, does not mean she was actually sitting there.
I leave my MSN messenger online all the time with the privacy setting on.

And when you start to think about her in terms of strategy. . .that's a sign that things are going downhill. WOMEN WITH HIGH IL MAKE THINGS EASIER FOR YOU! If she is hooking up with someone else, follow her example.

 

[Coolage]

a girl never likes saying that she nothing either

You lied why can't she?

 

[One on One]

I know for a fact she was there all night. There were too many signs...her voice on the phone was enough to know that she didn't get drunk like she said she did. It was OBVIOUS!

My theory is she has been wondering why I have not contacted her this week and she finally gave in and called me up.

Regardless of all that, what should I do now?

You say that women with high IL make it easy, which is true. Wouldn't an initiated phone call essentially asking me to meet her at the club tomorrow fall in the category of making it easy?? I think so.

 

[TesuqueRed]

YOU are playing too many games and are seriously about to fvck the dvck on this one. She's giving hints that you should've made your move already and she's getting tired while you're still doing basic set up stuff.

So take a risk. Ask her out. Make a move. Set-up time is over.

Wait any longer and she will think you're a wuss and move on. Time is expiring and that is dangerously close.

I'd warn you against relying on using that checking up on her thru tricks (secret screen names, etc.)---it's very tempting and nearly impossible to resist, but it's costly and insidiously corrosive to you in the long run.

How so? This is sneaking around, checking up on her, tracking her movements and everything she says (no one's gonna fool you!) -- instead of simply being straight up and getting out there. It takes awhile but you get weasilish over time--or weird--and women can smell it. Pretty soon you only attract the head cases since the healthy ones avoid you for reasons they can't explain.

Anyway, her little games are really--in perspective--not a big deal. Ask her out. Make a move.

 

[One on One]

Originally posted by TesuqueRed
YOU are playing too many games and are seriously about to fvck the dvck on this one. She's giving hints that you should've made your move already and she's getting tired while you're still doing basic set up stuff.

So take a risk. Ask her out. Make a move. Set-up time is over.

Wait any longer and she will think you're a wuss and move on. Time is expiring and that is dangerously close.

I'd warn you against relying on using that checking up on her thru tricks (secret screen names, etc.)---it's very tempting and nearly impossible to resist, but it's costly and insidiously corrosive to you in the long run.

How so? This is sneaking around, checking up on her, tracking her movements and everything she says (no one's gonna fool you!) -- instead of simply being straight up and getting out there. It takes awhile but you get weasilish over time--or weird--and women can smell it. Pretty soon you only attract the head cases since the healthy ones avoid you for reasons they can't explain.

Anyway, her little games are really--in perspective--not a big deal. Ask her out. Make a move.

I agree mostly with what you're saying here. Yes, I am probably thinking too hard and playing too many games, but they've worked to my advantage thus far. I guess you're right, though, it is time to make my move. I guess that means I should go to the club tonight and I should do something out of the ordinary.

About the checking up on her thing, I don't plan on continuing to do this, but I have to admit I have a little one-itis here. It's nearly impossible to avoid one-itis when you only have one girl on your radar. I'm trying to add more girls soon so I won't worry about any one too much.

I don't care about her little games at all. She is basically being straight with me so I don't care. I don't care that she lied about going out last night. I just wanted to know why she would lie to make herself more socially proven. I think that such a lie would mean she was interested in me because I know I wouldn't lie to my guy friends about that stuff because I wouldn't give a ****. I would lie to girls I was going after though.

 

[fan27]

I try to imagine that I am like a Tiger hunting prey when it comes hooking up with women. The key is to know when to "stalk" and when to "pounce". If the tiger stalks to long, the prey senses danger and halls ass. If the tiger's timing is correct, he has a full belly. The more I practice, the fuller my belly is.

 

[TesuqueRed]

Originally posted by dave134
...I just wanted to know why she would lie to make herself more socially proven.

To make herself socially more proven.

Don't make it more complicated here.

I think that such a lie would mean she was interested in me...

Not necessarily--she will "socially prove" herself to anyone and everyone. She'll do it more if interested in you, but she'll do it even more for her friends (and the guys she gets are all chosen with this in mind) and she'll do this with perfect strangers.

As "proof of interest" in you, it's proof enough but almost immaterial, really. She'd do this with her 80 year old aunt, ferchrissakes...

because I know I wouldn't lie to my guy friends about that stuff because I wouldn't give a ****.

You're a guy.

She's not.

Need an explanation here?

I thought not...

I would lie to girls I was going after though.

Imagine...

 

[One on One]

Update: Well, I didn't get to go to the damn club because of my boring friends. She was going with friends and I wasn't about to go alone again like I did last week. So, I called her up and said I was going to a bar instead, and counter-offered to go clubbing tomorrow, but she is taking her parents out tomorrow. If I can get friends to go next week, then I'll have to make something happen then, but my friends are always iffy, it sucks. I'll give her a call early next week to talk a bit and ask about clubbing next weekend.