Help out the AFC?

[SandHawk]

At one of the social things I go to regularly there is a 26 year old dude who's a complete AFC to the bone, never been with a girl, never even kissed one. According to one of my plates, he even has "I'm so lonely" surrounded with music notes in his MSN name.

I pity the guy, as I sort of came from where he is at. However, I got my first girlfriend when I was 16 on a pure lucky factor and the fact that both our lives were just sh*t. However, this guy is 26, and I feel for him. I know how he must feel, and I see so much of his flaws and mistakes. I see exactly the things I used to do before. I think with a proper haircut, a nice shirt, some nice shoes and a bit of attitude change, he could finally solve his loneliness problems.

I don't know this guy very good, so I'm not quite sure how he'll take it. And, I'm even wondering if I should help the guy out and how. I could be blunt, and be like "Hey, check this", or I could sort of bring up my DJ-ism and point him to sosuave... Any thoughts?

 

[eaglez1177]

Well I think part of it depends on where his heads at. Is he the type of AFC that truly wants to change himself and really wants to make a good effort to change? Or is he the type of AFC that doesnt want help, is totally unaware of his flaws, and is in denial?

 

[Captain]

You cannot help out a friend who does not 100% want to be helped. You can offer a bit of advice, or point him in the right direction, but only he can really want to make the change, and is he doesn't really want to, you aren't going to be able to help him much.

 

[kingsam]

totally what Eaglz and captain said....!

have a chat to gauge what type of AFC he is...!

In fact this brings up a good question ... Has anyone ever turned an AFC buddy into more of a DJ???

edit-
it coudl be a really good case study as i have tried in the past and it didnt get anywhere ... i got my buddies being "wingmen" as a kinda joke-to-serious thing hoping it would get them to be a little less AFC and evne a little more proactive so we could vibe off each other n Sh.it... nothing but a FAIL... they never "got it"...i was left to have to go on my own!

 

[SandHawk]

I don't know if he wants to be helped. I should gauge his interest and how open he is to seeing his own flaws and fix them. I'll have a chat with him when I see him again.

 

[CarlitosWay]

I don't know if he wants to be helped. I should gauge his interest and how open he is to seeing his own flaws and fix them. I'll have a chat with him when I see him again.

Ummm how about telling him "What's up man, let's go have a drink @ so and so place, I need to unwind some" Than have him tag along and just show him how sh1t gets done . Actions speak louder than words, anytime I go out with friends I make my presence known and I bs around and go for numbers and I always get the "Damn Carlitos, you're the MAN!!" from my buddies lol.

In the midst of all this I talk about what works and what could work and on the spot will experiment with things/get reactions from women.

E.G. My buddy helped me move some heavy stuff I had from house to house, so in return I got us steaks one night. He's no AFC, yet is young and is learning. We were gaming all the servers there and had all of them crowding our table each pass by. I was throwing **** out like "Buddy and me are having a debate, Who's hotter Jessica Alba or Jessica Biel?" *worked so good as an opener and opened up the night for some more fun* We had all these chics laughing their asses off and we were having a ball with them all. I taught my buddy a few pointers, cause his ass was talking about getting married already this and that (he's only 20!!!).

 

[I'm in the Mood]

I think this could be a wonderful opportunity for you to help this guy change his life dramatically, for the better!

I suggest you get him to open up to you first. Like invite him out with you for a drink or something. Spend some time with him as friends. You don't want to "come on too strong," ya know?

If you do this, the topic of women and dating will come up eventually, and you can offer your help to him as a friend. Once he's comfortable around you, you could easily bring women over for the two of you to practice with!

Oh and, it might help if you teach him not to think solely with his d!ck. That's a good step one.

 

[eaglez1177]

Ya i'd definitely invite him out for some drinks, establish a comfort zone, and just get to know him to see where hes really at with girls.

Hopefully he'll be that type of AFC that is really open for change and new things, and you can direct him to this site for some further help. On the other hand, if hes that AFC in denial and doesnt want help, then theres nothing you can do other than just let him learn the hard way by getting his heart broken.

 

[Tinsil]

If the dudes puttin "lonely" and **** on his messenger statuses.. He's gotta be willing to try something.

 

[Huffman]

edit-
it coudl be a really good case study as i have tried in the past and it didnt get anywhere ... i got my buddies being "wingmen" as a kinda joke-to-serious thing hoping it would get them to be a little less AFC and evne a little more proactive so we could vibe off each other n Sh.it... nothing but a FAIL... they never "got it"...i was left to have to go on my own!

Hehe tried it too and the buddy actually ended up blocking me (amog or whatever people here call it)