Help needed

WTID

Don Juan
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I have not come here as a pua or to learn to pu,however I can't help notice that the pu community have excellent social skills.
I am a married man 38 years old.I have been married for 3 years and have 2 children.
My wife gets very jealous (low self esteem),however I have recently realised that a lot of her jealousy is also a **** test,the thing is I get so pissed off that I react i.e start an arguement (threaten divorce etc).
I know I should just ignore her jealous behaviour but this has been going on for around 10 years (yeah kids before marriage),so her behaviour and my reaction are rather engrained in me.
I recently tried to ignore some of her jealous outbreaks and was doing well untill she kept it going for a 3rd day and I found her ranting on about a phone number I had written down (it was a buisness contact but I had not written down whose number it was)so immediatley she gets suspicious.
I reacted badly by ranting back instead of ignoring it as she caught me first thing in the morning.

I don't want to leave her but I am so pissed off with this behaviour that I feel Iam being pushed to my limit.
She does admit she has a jealousy problem and has enrolled for counselling with her doctor.

I think I may also need to improve my confidence,at school I was a cool guy,funny popular sporty,people knew I could handle myself.But I never developed any social skill I probabaly fell back on being the tough guy too much,whenever I am in a social situation it feel as though I'm bottom of the pool.That is I'm the one most likely to get the piss taken out of me.

I just need some direction maybe website to read or books to get.I don't have the life experience to be The main Alpha guy at all times as in I never have a story to tell,but I can be quick witted,and sharp,also I am sometimes quietly spoken and people often ask me to repeat myself,this is usuall in every day situations dealing with cashiers or small talk to people I don't know.

Thanks in advance
 

horaholic

Master Don Juan
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Whoa, I just had a major computer glitch, and it posted my response ten times, then it corrected itself.

Anyway, I was throwing out the saying that when someone constantly accuses someone else of cheating, it may be that they're cheating themselves. Maybe not though.
 

jophil28

Master Don Juan
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WTID said:
I don't want to leave her but I am so pissed off with this behaviour that I feel Iam being pushed to my limit.
She does admit she has a jealousy problem and has enrolled for counselling with her doctor.
Does she readily admit that she is overly suspicious and mistrusts you without cause ? In other words, does she "own" this problem and accept that her accusations are baseless ?

I had a relationship with a woman like this once- it was exhausting. That taught me how impossible it is to prove that you did NOT do something. I spend a lot of my time and energy fending off her attacks and mindgames which she set to snare me into admitting that I did things which I did not do.

Exhausting .
 

WTID

Don Juan
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Thanks for the replies it gives me something to read and work on .
 
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