help me with the next step

[JoeBlack]

Hi,

Guys I need your expert help. I am sick of being a shmuck with the ladies. 2 years with little luck means I have to step up my game. Hell well actually get one lol

I got a text message from someone the other day which gave me a simple compliment.

Came as a bit of a shock as I did not recognize the number, but a simple check and I found out who it was. After a few messages back and forth I let her know that I knew who she was. She called my bluff, so I told her and she replied basically admitting to getting caught out

So far nothing too more than simple chat outside of her initial compliment.

I don’t know this girl. To say alright to, and at the best of times a few sentences, but that’s about it.

Ok, so what’s the next move. Do I let her stew for a couple of days to see if she contacts me? I am assuming that she must like me as she would not have gone to the trouble to find my number and send the compliment. It wasn’t super hard to find out whose number it was. She probably thought it might be a bit harder maybe..

Or, should I just get to the point and ask her if she is up for a drink and perhaps something to eat next week?

What would you do?

 

[JoeBlack]

oh, also when I asked her why she wouldnlt tell me who she was she said she was not into making an idiot of herself.

So I could reply saying something like "ok, I'll risk making an idiot out of myself and ask you for a drink then next week?"

 

[TooColdUlrick]

you don't know who she is? obviously she knows who you are? i don't know, i don't do texting of any kind. are you saying that some chick you don't know just cold called you via text?

i would want some more info on her before i wasted any time with her.

how do you know she isn't some heffer with warts and tusks (a Borgnine)?

 

[JoeBlack]

heh, you got me wrong.

I know who she is, we are sort of on hello, and the odd sentence speaking terms... Never really had a conversation with her.

She's nice looking

 

[JoeBlack]

Well what do you think the best way to handle this one is?

I do know her a little, though I have never spoken to her at length.

I am such a wuss when it comes to making an approach. In fact I cannot remember a real approach I have made. Fear of rejection and not enough self confidence is the issues here.

I should I guess have more confidence being she proactively sought my number to give me a compliment. In the back of my head I still wonder if she is messing around?

Should I just come out and ask her for a date?

 

[Chrispy]

Originally posted by JoeBlack
Well what do you think the best way to handle this one is?

I do know her a little, though I have never spoken to her at length.

I am such a wuss when it comes to making an approach. In fact I cannot remember a real approach I have made. Fear of rejection and not enough self confidence is the issues here.

I should I guess have more confidence being she proactively sought my number to give me a compliment. In the back of my head I still wonder if she is messing around?

Should I just come out and ask her for a date?

this situation is different for she is persuing you, in a way. So if you ask her out, chances are very high she will be interested. Keep it simple, maybe go for a drink or coffee so you're not stuck with a night of boredom should that be the case. Let us know how the date goes!

 

[JoeBlack]

thanks!

Exhanged a few texts this evening which she initiated.

I'll probably ask her tomorrow or Sunday for a drink or so next week!

 

[PuertoRican_Lover]

For goodnees sakes it is not going to come easier than this!!!

Do you want her too parachute from the sky with no clothes on and land on your lap??

 

[JoeBlack]

That wouldn't be so bad lol..

I asked her, she said yes.. So I'll line something up for next week!

 

[decades]

Hey she likes you man! Don't hesitate. Ask her out and start practicing .

 

[WorldTraveller]

Do you want her too parachute from the sky with no clothes on and land on your lap??

Hahahaha... you crack me up!!!

JoeBlack, you have absolutely nothing to lose on this one. GO FOR IT!!!

 

[JoeBlack]

heh, I know......

We went out, it was cool. No akward gaps in conversation at all, and from my end it seemed to go well. She was ok, but I can't say that I super really wanted to get with her again.

We exchanged some communication afterwards but I was waiting for her to make a clear suggestion of meeting up again as I was not superly bothered.

In the end it just fizzled out though it gave me some confidence in actually getting out there and speaking to someone new!

On to the next huh?

 

[decades]

Joe, this one just happened to seek you out. But the work starts when you do "panning for gold." Start by walking tall and with confidence, and make eye contact with all the girls. Its a start and will get you on the path to being proactive with your social life.

Mike

 

[JoeBlack]

Thanks man, I intend to. Its been too long since I had any action and I know that I'll probably wait a while till the same occurs to me again as did this situation.

Better get proactive

 

[JoeBlack]

heh, sorry I did not explain my self properly.

What I meant is that if I were to wait for the same situation to occur again I would be waiting a long time.

I'm going to do the boot camp asap and whilst doing that trying to read more and more of
http://sucs.org/~nicholas/djb/readers.htm

 

[JoeBlack]

eek, its worst than I thought lol.....

http://www.sosuave.com/ubb/Forum6/HTML/000509.html - awesome post and to be honest I am the perfect audience for it!

 

[PuertoRican_Lover]

Joe, YOU have to initiate - nothing ventured nothing gained!! Don't fear the consequences!!

 

[JoeBlack]

heh, it would just so happen that I got laid this weekend also....

I did know the girl previously so it was easier than making a complete cold approach but it felt good to be more confident.

 

[dj2l8]

Boot Camp for The Mature Man

Hey Joe,

I've been lurking on this board for a month or so and finally got off my arse to register. I myself am also on week 1 of the Bootcamp and am looking for a place to get some specific tips and encouragement from the Don Jedi masters out here.

So, JoeBlack and others,I say we use this thread to get us off our arses and do the boot-camp.

Let me give a little background, so we can even the field. I'm 33, from Boston, San Fran's my home, working in Stockholm at the moment. Had a half dozen or so girlfriends in my life, hardly triple that for other encounters. But here's the kicker: I had nothing to do with every one of those encounters. I always had buddies, girl-friends, guy-friends, gay-friends who did the intros. (I meet ZERO girls on the job...you know, tech stuff...) F*ck, I'm good looking, in-shape, cool job, dress well, but as you have read ALL THAT AMOUNTS TO NOTHING if you don't open your mouth. I being an AFC-Supreme, thought that if I honed my looks, smell, manner, dress to perfection, drove a hot car, blah blah blah, that chicks would approach me. Well, yeah, they did, ONCE EVERY 3 YEARS! So it was time to take matters into my own hands. (attention youngsters, don't let this happen to you!) In a fit of rage (or divine intervention), i stumbled on this website in July and now things will change.

So, back to boot-camp. I'm through exercise 1, eye contact. Exercise 2 is pretty rough...50 is a BIG number...but funny, at number 5 I started not caring.

Here in Stockholm, eye contact is fleeting and greeting folks on the street is just plane strange. But hey, that's no different than my own Beantown or San Fran.

So far, 8 Hi's + smiles to HB's, 0 responses. Do I care? Not one bit!

So JoeBlack, tell us how your doin'!

Anyone else out there wanna be in on this
Boot Camp for the Oldies? Should we make a new thread or keep it here?

 

[Ricky]

Yeah I think we should make a boot camp for the mature man. Use the same format but post it here. That's a good idea.

Looks like i'm newly single after almost 3 years. We are trying to work things out. I'll keep you posted.

Either way I will do the boot camp since I've never finished one before!.