help me understand please...

[needtobeloved]

Alright...an incredible (in so many ways) Woman moved into the place I live in with my best friend a few months ago and naturally I became attracted to her we got on really well and went out a few times, chatted a lot , laughed a lot and obviously enjoyed each others company...there is too much too go into but I thought she flirted with me (no correction she did and still does) and showed interest in me so I told her I liked her (had too it was eating me up inside and I know it was a dumb move) and when she told me she didn't feel the same way and that I was a really lovely guy... i told her she just loved the attention I gave her and that she was a natural flirt, she got upset about that comment and told my other flatmate....anyways things were akward for a while but now are back on track, she even said that won't she move out...but what I have noticed is that there are little looks between us and sometimes it feels that we already are a couple... and she seems very easy to annoy sometimes and even things like her asking me what was that look for?, but this what I don't understand...

why does she still play with her hair when she talks with me? (but not my other flatmate?)
why does she look at me with a fixed gaze when we talk?
why does she still want to live with a guy that she knows likes her?
why does she spend a lot of time in the lounge with just me? (when she has her own TV upstairs?)
why did she act wierd when I had my ex girl over a few weeks ago?
Why did she get all funny when I told her about a girl I was seeing?
How come we play with each other a lot, like throwing things at each other for fun and giving each other ****?



I was telling myself that I am moving on and that I'm not attracted to her anymore...but that is so far from the truth...

This Woman takes my breath away and each day I think of ways to make her see that I would be the Man for her and hope that it happens because she lights up my days and makes me want to be a better man.

Any advice would be greatly appreciated, but being a Scorpion I sense that what she says and her body language are saying 2 different things...her body language has always been positive to me and flirtatious...she actually asked me what made me call her a flirt and asked what it is that she does to make me think that, but I just told her that it was a heat of the moment thing.

what do you make of all this?, I'm crazy about this girl to be honest and just need some good advice...I would give the World to this girl and that's the double truth ruth.

Somedays I just talk with her about anything just so I can get lost in her eyes...they are the most beautiful eyes I have ever seen.

please help me ..I am tired of thinking about her.

 

[libre]

Dear sir

She's probably just playing with you to test her charms. She knows that she is driving you crazy so she's relishing the moves and the torture that she is inflincting you. She's doing it because she can and because she's having fun.

Quite a few women like those kind of games. I know; I got caught myself and paid dearly. Be wary; you could pay.

 

[mrmoe]

I'll have to agree. It sounds as though she knows she has you by the strings. You sound very infatuated (at an unhealthy level) with this one girl. Correct me if I'm wrong but that is NOT the DJ way!!!! Stop over analyzing everything she does. It'll destroy you if you keep doing that.

If you're that into her (and she's shown interest in you), why haven't you made a move on her? Kino it up!!! Sounds as if you've already had some opportunities, no?

 

[needtobeloved]

Thanks for the advice I wouldn't call it infatuation (and even If i was i wouldn't show it around her) I mean I was out with a girl last night and things were cool, I just find it her hard to understand thats all, basically I'm asking what is the best way to act around her, a guy can't help if he has a crush right?.

Have I had oppurtunities?, really?, I told her I liked her and she said she didn't feel the same so I backed off a little and things got awkward but we talk about things too, I have never met a girl that has frustrated and fascinated me at the same time.

Why would a girl enjoy inflicting torture and playing games though, that makes no sense...I think I am going to just going to play the good friend role.

 

[needtobeloved]

I need more advice please come on DJ's...let it flow...

 

[HuuBinh]

I think you are highly emotional about this girl right now.
You don't know how act around her.

When you have such intense emotions about someone, you will behave in a way that is AGAINST your best INTEREST.

What is more interesting is that, even if you know what are the RIGHT things to do around her, you won't be able to simply because in her PRESENCE, your EMOTIONS will have the better you and you will NOT be able THINK clearly and do those RIGHT things.

One of the biggest mistakes you made with this girl was you TOLD her that you LIKE her. When you say these things with a girl you've just met and even if she has HIGH interest in you, her NATURAL DEFENSES kick in. Therefore, she'll give you some excuse to justify it.

You have to understand that when a woman is interested, her WEAK SPOT is your ACTION.

You have had many chances where you could take things to the next level.

During situations where EMOTIONS run high (heavy EC, flirting, open BL, etc...), YOU NEED TO TAKE SOME KIND OF ACTION, (slowly lean in and kiss for example), because during these MOMENTS she will NOT be able to reject you if she is interested. HER EMOTIONS WILL JUSTIFY ANY ACTION YOU TAKE.

 

[HKgunslinger]

No no no no no no no!

ARGH! Dude, I am like THIS close to just assuming you are a troll with BS like this spewing out, even your screenname sounds all needy and insecure.

Bro, she has you locked in LJBF land. It's not a good place to be unless that's ALL you ever want to be to her and you can stand the years of continued ****-teasing torture. By your posting here about it I'm assuming the answer to that is NO!

From now on, you must develop the mental attitude "What's in it for me?" DON'T lend her your damn ear to beat on with sh!t she would otherwise be telling her gossiping girlfriends, DON'T do any favors for her EVER. Generally be aloof and unavailable to her, etc.

Dammit just go read the DJ Bible, ANYTHING by David DeAngelo, visit FastSeduction the 101 Players Guide, SOMETHING. You obviously need more help than I care to type right now.

'Slinger

 

[Qualtran]

I hate it when I hear that a guy told a girl "I like you" before he actually makes a move. Its been my experience that to be successful with women, you have to just go for it and make a move. When you tell a girl you like her, its an un-confident way of making your move and the girl gets turned off by it. This girl sounds like she is attracted to you but as long as she sees you as an un-confident nice guy you are going to be frustrated and she will keep you in the platonic zone. I don't think your chances are great, but you shouldn't care what I or anyone else thinks, including her. If you are attracted to a girl, go for it and make a bold move. If she rejects you, then move on to the next. Why give her a second chance!?

 

[nonstop]

I think she is using you to boost her ego, she want's your attention to make herself feel attractive.

even more so that she now knows you like her.

she's going to be dangling that carrot infront of you for aslong as she can.

don't play upto it, just ignore her.

you're a DJ you don't let women play games with you, otherwise you next them.

 

[needtobeloved]

LJBF?...what does that mean please and Slinger I am not a Troll or needy, I can get dates and have done okay this year, but this girl is hard to figure out and it's hard to ignore someone when you live together right?,..I have done that before during the akward stages and she doesn't like it, you guys are all right and I appreciate the feedback...I am just going to be aloof around her and remember that I don't need her, she needs me and that I am the catch not her.

 

[icehot]

rookie mistake

Dude,

You made a rookie mistake that could have been avoided if you read and remembered the lessons from the bible!

You should never tell a girl you like her first - especially (like the other poster said) if you haven't even made a move on her yet! This should naturally be apparent with your interactions, and making a move on her.

Now, you've basically tipped your hand and the girl will be yanking your chain anytime she wants 'cause she know you like her. And If you think you are confused now, wait 'til she starts bringing other guys around to your flat, then you'll be a basketcase.

What to do? Forget about her and start dating other chicks. You really have to launch a preemptive strike on this and show her what she's missing by dating/hanging out/making out/ with other women that you bring back to your flat. But it sounds like you're in the Friendzone - which, unless you're a master DJ, is almost impossible to escape.

-iceH

 

[needtobeloved]

Re: rookie mistake

Originally posted by icehot
Dude,

You made a rookie mistake that could have been avoided if you read and remembered the lessons from the bible!

You should never tell a girl you like her first - especially (like the other poster said) if you haven't even made a move on her yet! This should naturally be apparent with your interactions, and making a move on her.

Now, you've basically tipped your hand and the girl will be yanking your chain anytime she wants 'cause she know you like her. And If you think you are confused now, wait 'til she starts bringing other guys around to your flat, then you'll be a basketcase.

What to do? Forget about her and start dating other chicks. You really have to launch a preemptive strike on this and show her what she's missing by dating/hanging out/making out/ with other women that you bring back to your flat. But it sounds like you're in the Friendzone - which, unless you're a master DJ, is almost impossible to escape.

-iceH

Well the funny thing is she hasn't had any dude in the almost 3 months she has been here, and she told ,me she is shy...I have a couple of girls on the line so something could happen soon, but as for this girl, I couldn't care less anymore, I have realized that even if we did sleep together we would end up hating each other...she is too much of a "Status Girl" and we actually wouldn't be good for each other, she needs to chill the **** out on her signals and her flirting though and hey come on man ...WE ALL MAKE MISTAKES...sometimes the same ones...we are only human.

 

[HKgunslinger]

If you don't see anything coming of the two of you, then call her on the carpet for her bull$hit. Next time she flirts, tell her if she's not going to screw you, to stop flirting and c0ck-teasing you. Say it. Mean it. Don't back down. Don't back track. Ever.

What happens from there on can only be for your own good, for you will have just taken back all your power. Whether she gets pissed and never speaks to you again (who needs her teasing their **** and filling their ear with bull$hit banter anyway?), or whether she jumps on your d1ck immediately, you are the one in control.

'Slinger

 

[needtobeloved]

Originally posted by HKgunslinger
If you don't see anything coming of the two of you, then call her on the carpet for her bull$hit. Next time she flirts, tell her if she's not going to screw you, to stop flirting and c0ck-teasing you. Say it. Mean it. Don't back down. Don't back track. Ever.

What happens from there on can only be for your own good, for you will have just taken back all your power. Whether she gets pissed and never speaks to you again (who needs her teasing their **** and filling their ear with bull$hit banter anyway?), or whether she jumps on your d1ck immediately, you are the one in control.

'Slinger

I actually plan on doing something similar and if she does get pissed I will just turn around and say it's your loss and oh yeah I move out tommorow and don't ever want to see you again so stay out of my life and best of luck with all those so cool "hot' guys that will treat you like arm jewelry and will **** around on you and treat you like ****.

Goodbye.

I will keep you posted but I haven't see n or spoken to her in 5 days and to be honest I like it, I just don't have the energy for her anymore.

 

[NewMan]

1) Change your screenname.

I actually plan on doing something similar and if she does get pissed I will just turn around and say it's your loss and oh yeah I move out tommorow and don't ever want to see you again so stay out of my life and best of luck with all those so cool "hot' guys that will treat you like arm jewelry and will **** around on you and treat you like ****.

Have you not learn't a thing from being around these boards?

Do you think this will make a difference to her? nope.

Why? because it's fake. Because you are fake. You are doing this to enact a response in her - as opposed because you are taking control (although you may convince yourself you are - in reality anything you now do is just a gimmick you will try to use in order to get to her).

Gimmicks and games will only work once you have established control of the situation and control over your emotions. You've pretty much probably ruined your chances with her.


Your best bet here, is to just continue on. She isn't interested - so go about your business and DJ other women in your life.

Make other things important in your life - and her not. Do other things with other friends - stop spending quality time with her (why bother anyways) - and take care fo your business.

In the future - keep your feelings to yourself. You make a move on her - but don't tell her how you feel.

 

[NewMan]

1) Change your screenname.

I actually plan on doing something similar and if she does get pissed I will just turn around and say it's your loss and oh yeah I move out tommorow and don't ever want to see you again so stay out of my life and best of luck with all those so cool "hot' guys that will treat you like arm jewelry and will **** around on you and treat you like ****.

Have you not learn't a thing from being around these boards?

Do you think this will make a difference to her? nope.

Why? because it's fake. Because you are fake. You are doing this to enact a response in her - as opposed because you are taking control (although you may convince yourself you are - in reality anything you now do is just a gimmick you will try to use in order to get to her).

Gimmicks and games will only work once you have established control of the situation and control over your emotions. You've pretty much probably ruined your chances with her.


Your best bet here, is to just continue on. She isn't interested - so go about your business and DJ other women in your life.

Make other things important in your life - and her not. Do other things with other friends - stop spending quality time with her (why bother anyways) - and take care fo your business.

In the future - keep your feelings to yourself. You make a move on her - but don't tell her how you feel.

 

[NewMan]

1) Change your screenname.

I actually plan on doing something similar and if she does get pissed I will just turn around and say it's your loss and oh yeah I move out tommorow and don't ever want to see you again so stay out of my life and best of luck with all those so cool "hot' guys that will treat you like arm jewelry and will **** around on you and treat you like ****.

Have you not learn't a thing from being around these boards?

Do you think this will make a difference to her? nope.

Why? because it's fake. Because you are fake. You are doing this to enact a response in her - as opposed because you are taking control (although you may convince yourself you are - in reality anything you now do is just a gimmick you will try to use in order to get to her).

Gimmicks and games will only work once you have established control of the situation and control over your emotions. You've pretty much probably ruined your chances with her.


Your best bet here, is to just continue on. She isn't interested - so go about your business and DJ other women in your life.

Make other things important in your life - and her not. Do other things with other friends - stop spending quality time with her (why bother anyways) - and take care fo your business.

In the future - keep your feelings to yourself. You make a move on her - but don't tell her how you feel.

 

[NewMan]

1) Change your screenname.

I actually plan on doing something similar and if she does get pissed I will just turn around and say it's your loss and oh yeah I move out tommorow and don't ever want to see you again so stay out of my life and best of luck with all those so cool "hot' guys that will treat you like arm jewelry and will **** around on you and treat you like ****.

Have you not learn't a thing from being around these boards?

Do you think this will make a difference to her? nope.

Why? because it's fake. Because you are fake. You are doing this to enact a response in her - as opposed because you are taking control (although you may convince yourself you are - in reality anything you now do is just a gimmick you will try to use in order to get to her).

Gimmicks and games will only work once you have established control of the situation and control over your emotions. You've pretty much probably ruined your chances with her.


Your best bet here, is to just continue on. She isn't interested - so go about your business and DJ other women in your life.

Make other things important in your life - and her not. Do other things with other friends - stop spending quality time with her (why bother anyways) - and take care fo your business.

In the future - keep your feelings to yourself. You make a move on her - but don't tell her how you feel.

 

[NewMan]

1) Change your screenname.

I actually plan on doing something similar and if she does get pissed I will just turn around and say it's your loss and oh yeah I move out tommorow and don't ever want to see you again so stay out of my life and best of luck with all those so cool "hot' guys that will treat you like arm jewelry and will **** around on you and treat you like ****.

Have you not learn't a thing from being around these boards?

Do you think this will make a difference to her? nope.

Why? because it's fake. Because you are fake. You are doing this to enact a response in her - as opposed because you are taking control (although you may convince yourself you are - in reality anything you now do is just a gimmick you will try to use in order to get to her).

Gimmicks and games will only work once you have established control of the situation and control over your emotions. You've pretty much probably ruined your chances with her.


Your best bet here, is to just continue on. She isn't interested - so go about your business and DJ other women in your life.

Make other things important in your life - and her not. Do other things with other friends - stop spending quality time with her (why bother anyways) - and take care fo your business.

In the future - keep your feelings to yourself. You make a move on her - but don't tell her how you feel.

 

[NewMan]

1) Change your screenname.

I actually plan on doing something similar and if she does get pissed I will just turn around and say it's your loss and oh yeah I move out tommorow and don't ever want to see you again so stay out of my life and best of luck with all those so cool "hot' guys that will treat you like arm jewelry and will **** around on you and treat you like ****.

Have you not learn't a thing from being around these boards?

Do you think this will make a difference to her? nope.

Why? because it's fake. Because you are fake. You are doing this to enact a response in her - as opposed because you are taking control (although you may convince yourself you are - in reality anything you now do is just a gimmick you will try to use in order to get to her).

Gimmicks and games will only work once you have established control of the situation and control over your emotions. You've pretty much probably ruined your chances with her.


Your best bet here, is to just continue on. She isn't interested - so go about your business and DJ other women in your life.

Make other things important in your life - and her not. Do other things with other friends - stop spending quality time with her (why bother anyways) - and take care fo your business.

In the future - keep your feelings to yourself. You make a move on her - but don't tell her how you feel.