Help me read her IL

[K-man]

Hey Guys,

After ignoring you'r advice in my Slow Cooking thread I hereby kindly request you're opinion on this e-mail I got from another possible plate I met at a swing dance event last week. We only talked briefly before exchanging emails.

She's a pretty, intelligent lady working at a managerial position in a fortune 500 company.
She's only in town during the weekends so she's only available for dates then.

What do you read into her email. Is she interested enough or should I look elsewhere?

Me:
Anna,

Thank you for your company last Saturday!

I remember that you mentioned something about going to a party this Saturday but if you’ve got the time I’d love to meet you for a drink or two on Sunday afternoon.

Keep in touch!

K-Man

Her Reply:
Hi,

Yes, it was nice to meet you! =)

You’re correct: I’m attending a party on Saturday. You’ve got a good memory.
I really don’t know how much stressed out I’ll be this weekend because I’m doing an important presentation at work next wee. Maybe ve can get in touch on Sunday and decide then?
I dont dare to promise anything right now.

I guess you’re not to keen on going to a salsa club on Sunday?

Here’s my cellphone number: xxxxxxxx

Have a Nice week!

 

[AMDG]

Hey Guys,
Is she interested enough or should I look elsewhere?

Too early to tell - but her work takes priority in any case. Call her and give us her reply - or lack thereof.

 

[1 Bad Dude]

Slow cooking: Going from a ten day away date to a fourteen day away date is going in the wrong direction. That was my immediate thought when you posted that, but I didn't want to say anything and put you in the wrong frame-of-mind.

On topic: People usually have drinks to relax and unwind. You would think she would look forward to something like that if she anticipates being "stressed out." And, I hate to use this cliche but, I wonder how daring she'd be if it were Brad Pitt asking this.

 

[pipe007]

well she did ask for salsa dancing? and she gave you her number at the end.... those are signs of interest

I would call her sunday morning and ask her out... if she doesnt want to meet up with you then next her.... simple as that

 

[DJ SO STEVE]

Pipe is right, two IOI's right there.

but if you’ve got the time I’d love to meet you for a drink or two on Sunday afternoon.

Try not to sound more excited than she is. Using the words love to meet you shows her you have a high interest level in her. Remember women like to be challenged.

Make sure you follow up with her 2-3 days before Sunday. Sometimes women forget, heck we all forget sometimes.

It's too soon to show how interested she is, but it's going in the right direction so far.

 

[Atom Smasher]

I agree. She's interested all right, but is she the kind of girl who always has to counter-suggest? That's what I'd be on the lookout for. Maybe this "salsa club" is familiar to her so she feels more secure there. She did mention stress. Other than that, I say go for it.

 

[K-man]

Thanks guys!

Maybe I should send her a cheeky answer more to the line of "Sorry, since you were ambivalent I made other plans. How about next sunday?"

 

[Zunder]

Thanks guys!

Maybe I should send her a cheeky answer more to the line of "Sorry, since you were ambivalent I made other plans. How about next sunday?"

No.

 

[jtlancer]

No.

Agreed. No more email. You must call. Plan out the sunday thing
and then a quick call to tell her where she is meeting you. Take charge.

DO NOT EMAIL BACK.

 

[squirrels]

Really?

First of all, you ignore the advice you got before and then come back for more?

You're exchanging E-MAILS with a girl?? Are you trying to date her, or scam her out of Nigerian inheritance? No quicker way to kill sex-drive than E-mail.

Not only that, you lead in with, "Thank you for your company", as if she was doing you some huge favor by hanging out with you. "I enjoyed hanging out with you" is one thing..."thank you for your company" just sounds pathetic.

And then you come out with, "Hey, look...I remembered something you said!! Isn't that a neat trick?? Doesn't that make me worthy??" Which she obliges with her little verbal "good job" pat on the head.

Somehow you still managed to get her number, but she's staying non-committal because she's honestly not sure if she's attracted to you right now. At least not enough to cancel her tentative plans for "doing nothing".

You have a phone number. Don't use E-mail any more. Give her a call on Sunday. Don't be surprised or disappointed if she flakes, because you've got maybe a 50/50 on this one. If she DOES want to go out, try to make it interesting. And no more E-mail.

Sunday afternoon is generally a sh!tty date time. People reserve Sunday afternoons for chores, spending time with family, or generally doing nothing. Sunday evening "hang-outs" generally aren't bad, but nothing that requires her getting dressed up.

Honestly, if she's only around on the weekends, I wouldn't waste too much time on her. Get her when she's get-able and keep spinning your other plates. Don't get bent over this one.

 

[Sandow]

Thanks guys!

Maybe I should send her a cheeky answer more to the line of "Sorry, since you were ambivalent I made other plans. How about next sunday?"

K man, you're killing me! First off, what squirrels said. And second, what's with you stalling all the time. What makes you think stalling and canceling plans is going to create interest in her??? It's simple, go to the salsa thing with her on Sunday...And because she's only here on the weekends, means she's not LTR material, so there's not much to lose here.

 

[1 Bad Dude]

K-man,

My first advice to you, is to be less wordy. That is a very feminine trait. She has no right to any explanation from you.

Having said that, my reply to her would be "We'll pick a time when you're more sure of your schedule".

I want to build on this, both from the initial email and your proposed response. You want to get straight to the point in these non-personal comms. You've already met in person so there is no need to try and build attraction here. Do that in person whenever possible. Short and sweet keeps her from picking and choosing what she'll respond to. And it forces her to assume positive instead of negative. The worst thing you could do is let her know she's getting under your skin. After all, there really is no reason she should be. Remember, you're qualifying her. Low interest? Move on. Poor attitude? Move on. Too much drama? Move on. There's another hottie at the next event.

Your initial email was too try hard. You didn't need to thank her or point out what you remembered. A simple:

Hi Anna,

This is K-man. I am going dancing at <place> on sunday and would like you to join me. Let me know if you're interested and we will work out a time.

Not only that, you lead in with, "Thank you for your company", as if she was doing you some huge favor by hanging out with you. "I enjoyed hanging out with you" is one thing..."thank you for your company" just sounds pathetic.

Furthering this, the two of you weren't out together. You were attending an event as strangers and only just met each other, and apparently only briefly.

Here's my take on her interest. It's there, but it's low. She declined your sunday date under the guise of an important work presentation. BUT, she's going to a party the day before. She is basically saying that she won't go have drinks with you but will go dancing. You can only speculate what that means. Add that to the fact that she is only available on weekends and what do you get? Headache. Just hit her with the response Danger gave you and move on. Let her make the next contact.

 

[K-man]

Ok,

Much appereciated.

I'll let you know what happens on sunday!

 

[jophil28]

Ok,

Much appereciated.

I'll let you know what happens on sunday!

She wants to go Salsa dancing because she thinks your Swing Dancing sucks

So you now have a few days to practise and 'get your Cuban on' :crackup:

 

[K-man]

Jophil, I do it LA-style =)

 

[K-man]

Upate:

Made the call. She said she had to get some work done but I was prepared for that line so I went into dominance moe and simply stated rendez vouz point and time. She never had the opportunity to rejct.

Gut feeling is not so good but we'll see....

Date is in a few hours.

 

[K-man]

Well, I have to say our date went quite well.

It was a short affair that ended in an upbeat mood. She's kinda reserved but that's got more to do with her personality then with me.

I didn't get any kino in but I saw her pupils dilate when I locked her gaze.

She's quite busy. I'm quite busy too and on top of thet I'm going to be out of the country from mid December and a month forward.

After the date she told me about her schedule -without me asking- for the coming weeks and she singled out a saturday when we could plan something.

She wouldn't do that if she weren't interested.

So I can get ONE more date with her before january! So I think I'm gonna go all out and make it something special.

Any suggestions? This will be slow but the difference from my "Slow cooking" girl is that this one knows that my interest is romantical.

How to keep this one going consiering our physical distance?
I have other plates but I really wanna give this one a shot. She's gorgeous!

 

[betheman]

Sigh,

Please tell me that someone hacked your account and wrote that.

:rockon:

"After the date she told me about her schedule -without me asking- for the coming weeks and she singled out a saturday when we could plan something."

she has also ruled out a lot of weekends and given you the smallest of windows, test? trying to put you off?
if she was really Attracted, she would make time, this doesnt look like making time to me

 

[Boilermaker]

^^^

totally agree.

check the actions; not what SHE SAYS.

Sigh, this must be the welcome message in MM.

 

[K-man]

:rockon:

"After the date she told me about her schedule -without me asking- for the coming weeks and she singled out a saturday when we could plan something."

she has also ruled out a lot of weekends and given you the smallest of windows, test? trying to put you off?
if she was really Attracted, she would make time, this doesnt look like making time to me

Well, as I said she's only in town during the weekends.
Next weekend she's not in town.

That means there's ONE weekend left before I go to India. She just wanted to point that out to me.