Help Me Out

[sandman6991]

Hey guys, I could use some help. As a preface, this is NOT another looks debate thread. I’m not starting this thread to argue about looks vs. game vs. money or anything like that. See, I’m struggling badly right now. I’m really in a rough spot when it comes to dating right now, but honestly, I have been for awhile. Things just do not work out for me.

The thing is, I have a problem…two very big ones, in fact: my ears. I read the guy’s thread a couple weeks ago about his stick-out ears and I grew more and more frustrated as I read, because his are nowhere near as bad as mine. I know this is going to sound crazy to some of you here, but I believe that my ears are the reason that I’m 19, single, a virgin, and have never been able to keep an attractive girlfriend (I’ve only had one ever, for less than two months…and we met online).

I just know that every girl looks at me and instantly places me in the non-dateable category because of these ears. Personally, if I were to see a girl with these ears, there’s no way I could get past that and be able to find her attractive! How could they help but doing the same thing to me? Hell, how can they avoid staring at me?

This isn’t some minor thing either, you really can’t miss them. I can’t wear hats, I can’t get my hair cut short on the sides, and I definitely don’t know what I’ll do if I ever go bald (like my dad is). I’ve tried asking one or two friends for their opinions on how bad these make me look, but they would never hurt my feelings, so I can never get a real gauge on the truth. I’m posting a couple pictures of myself here so you guys can see for yourselves. HOW bad is it? Can I ever get attractive girls with these things? I’m not sure what the answer is, honestly.

http://images2e.snapfish.com/232323232fp53842>nu=335;>346>;7;>WSNRCG=347:<:5774336nu0mrj

http://images2e.snapfish.com/232323232fp537;9>nu=335;>346>;7;>WSNRCG=347:<::568336nu0mrj

 

[Bluntmaster]

If it bothers you that much why don't you get surgery. It can't be that expensive can it?

 

[DJDamage]

You are making a mountain out of these ears.

If you wouldn't have told me to look at your ears I wouldn't have payed any attention to them.

What I did pay attention is that you look like a really "really nice guy". Maybe a bit too nice.

Hit the gym and change your style and attitude.

 

[f283000]

Brother you are complaining about nothing. I probably would not have noticed your ears if you had not mentioned them.

The only thing I would recommend is getting a different haircut. Get a hair cut that doesn't make your ears stand out so much if that is how you see things. Get a hair cut that doesn't look so old fashioned. Go to a decent hair salon, tell them to look at your face and recommend something totally different than what you have now. You might want to try longer hair.

 

[morepoonplease]

just pack on some muscle... simple as that it may take a while but you will get recognition. and your ears arent a big deal... quit ur crying.

 

[kingsam]

THiS FIRST... you may have to grow it a bit first tho

Brother you are complaining about nothing. I probably would not have noticed your ears if you had not mentioned them.

The only thing I would recommend is getting a different haircut. Get a hair cut that doesn't make your ears stand out so much if that is how you see things. Get a hair cut that doesn't look so old fashioned. Go to a decent hair salon, tell them to look at your face and recommend something totally different than what you have now. You might want to try longer hair.

THEN THIS...

What I did pay attention is that you look like a really "really nice guy". Maybe a bit too nice.

Hit the gym and change your style and attitude.

 

[todays_news]

your ears are fine. you're not a bad looking bloke either.

I have big ears, means I dont wear a baseball cap. Big loss, stop whining.

Looks dont matter either, work on your game and get in the gym.

 

[terran2k]

if you didnt preface the pics with mentioning the size of your ears, I wouldnt even have noticed. really, its in your head, youre normal dude.

 

[Uberguy]

The Good News: Your ears are not an issue.

The Bad News: Your clothes are.

The Better News: It's much easier (and cheaper) to change your attire than your physical attributes. Invest in some good clothes, project confidence, and things will be just fine.

 

[sagexx]

honestly ur over thinking this too much, the more u worry about it, the more u think it sticks out. so just live ur life , love yourself before others will love u

 

[Aiken_Drum]

I have an ugly nose, a LOOONG one (from top to bottom).
But you know what? I don't give a ****!
Because I know that, summing up all my good attributes, both attitudinal and physical, I'm a great catch.

So, focus on what you CAN change (clothes, attitude, pack some muscle).

If you have that, I GUARANTEE you'll have results.
I won't lie, your ears are not pretty and do stand out, but so is my nose and I'm getting decent enough results, so stop whining about your ears, they are not the culprit, your attitude + clothes + body is.
And you can change that.
I know because I had.

 

[Ease]

Your ears arent your problem. I used to think about having a big nose, but over time iv got enough validation to know that im a pretty attractive guy. If i was to focus hard enough i can make myself become a little paranoid about it, but i soon forget because i know that im still a pretty attractive guy.

Funny thing is, when i was younger i used to think that my ears were big also. Same thing as the nose, if i try hard enough i suppose i could come to the conclusion that they're ugly, but again i know from experience that im a stud.

The only difference between you and me is that i lost my virginity when i was 16. Back then i did not think i was such a stud (and really wasnt), but over time my confidence grew as i pulled girls and had relationships. You'll get over the ears thing when you get some success. Success leads to more success, confidence comes from success and experience. Sometimes you just need to get the ball rolling, either get lucky or do something crazy like ask a girl out on a date!

The only thing you actually need is a different haircut and to dress less dorky.

 

[OMGWTFLMAO]

I can certainly see why you are worried about your ears. Yes, they do stick out and are very noticeable. And yes, they will make it harder for you with SOME girls. There has to be initial attraction before they can get to know you, so the shallow girls might not give you a shot. This seems bad on the surface but in reality it actually makes it far easier for you to filter the shallow, low quality girls so you don't waste your time on them.

The ears will NOT prevent you from being able to find and attract all girls, though. Many won't care. However, if you are really insecure about your ears you could always look into having them pinned back.

http://www.plasticsurgeryspot.com/images/useruploaded/brad_pitt_ear_pinning



According to information online Ostoplasty costs anywhere from $2000 to $5000.

 

[CantTouchMyStyle]

Dress better.

Feel better.

Profit.

(I didn't read the novel)

 

[TrueDonJuan]

Sandman,

I've looked at both of your pictures and i'm going to tell you what I think, honestly - man to man.

Your ears are slightly big, but CERTAINLY NOT abnormal.

From your post, it seems to me that you are using your ears as an excuse for yourself. You don't know what girls really think.

Listen up. And I say this as one heterosexual man to another. You are above average in attractiveness. Plenty of girls out there will be attracted to you.

What you need is more confidence. And I know that's a lot easier said than done. I can go into more detail in a PM - so feel free to catch me there.

 

[TrueDonJuan]

Apologies. The forum was not working and my message posted twice. Replaced it with this to minimize the annoyance caused.

 

[sandman6991]

So, the general consensus is that with a few changes in my style, haircut, and working out, my ears won't chase off all attractive women?

That's good to hear. Do you guys have any specific tips about how I could improve the way I dress or my hairstyle? Granted, one of the pictures I posted is from an awards banquet, I don't wear those dress shirts and khaki pants as a normal outfit of course.

 

[r0cky]

No big deal, just close them when you go out. Besides you must look at the positive side, I bet you're a good listener.

 

[f283000]

So, the general consensus is that with a few changes in my style, haircut, and working out, my ears won't chase off all attractive women?

That's good to hear. Do you guys have any specific tips about how I could improve the way I dress or my hairstyle? Granted, one of the pictures I posted is from an awards banquet, I don't wear those dress shirts and khaki pants as a normal outfit of course.

Like it was said earlier. Grow your hair and go to a decent hair salon and get a totally different haircut. That hairstyle you have not probably makes your ears look bigger having your hair calmed up.

 

[falconslax89]

dude you are trippin out for no reason just like that other guy you mentioned. i dont know you, i dont care about hurting some random guys feelings on a message board...i would most certainly tell you the truth, and the truth is they might stick out a little more than normal but if i just saw you on the street i wouldnt really even notice. ive seen guys much worse!