Help me out with first date advice.

[Anteros]

I'm having a date with a girl I've been wanting to go out since a lot of time now. She agreed to meet up next sunday for some tacos for dinner. I'm happy for it, but what would you guys advice for me to do in this first date in order to succeed?

She's kind of conservative, so a first date hook up it's extremely unlikely.

 

[Eph]

I can tell what I don't advise: dinner dates. Also, movie dates. First dates should be action-dates. Have some fun. There are a bunch of studies that basically say we (humans) associate our feelings with those around us. Basically, if she has fun, for example, at an amusement park, she attributes it to being around you.

That's why a dinner date can back-fire. Since you've already made it, get her laughing as much as possible. No conversations on politics, religion, work, etc. Stimulate her emotions, not her mind. And still go for the kiss at the end, it'll let you know where you stand with her.

 

[wishyo]

just enjoy it man, do whatever pleases you
check guides here.. pretty basic stuff, let her talk about herself, ask questions about her, dont show too much interest or be too needy/desperate, use ur phone to setup/confirm date=dont go into crazy texting mode and lead her. u are the man.

 

[hudpes]

Aside from what was already said,

She's kind of conservative, so a first date hook up it's extremely unlikely.

Your prognosis is based on prejudice, not fact. Conservative is something in a pressurized can, pop it and it will be all over the place. Knowing how is another question, so find out. I wouldn't deviate much from the standard, let her know what your intentions are by acting accordingly.

 

[Great being a man]

I always disliked dinner dates at first........you're both there filling your mouths with food, hard to talk anyway.

I agree with the action date idea..........I always prefered races drag or stock car, ball games, movies can be OK, just make sure it's not some stupid slow dragging movie.

 

[Anteros]

Excellent and sound advice. Thanks a lot for the pointers! And if you have more, by all means, keep'em coming!

 

[VladPatton]

Go cheap. Coffee, lounge, or do an event, like Eph said. Make it short, don't extend it past it's peak. Let her come back for more. Let her crave the fun. And if she is a boring ass bıtch, you didn't spend a lot during your initial screening. Sucks to have to think this way, but it's better than spending $200 bux and not hearing from her again.

 

[narcissist]

dont spend money

 

[ErnestHenley]

Don't be indecisive.

 

[Poop1337]

You should just take her drinking instead and make moves son. Kiss, touch, etc.. and yes go for the lay in tactful manner

 

[Harry Wilmington]

Question: where are you two having this date? Is she coming to your place for tacos or are you two meeting at a restaurant? Hopefully it's the latter and not the former (though congrats if you managed to have her agree to a first date at your place).

Assuming you're meeting her at a restaurant, the first date is simply a chance to get to know more about her. Don't feel pressured to have to try and make a hook up out of it - if it happens, great! But that shouldn't be the focus. I usually end up hooking up by date 2 or 3 simply because I don't make having sex my main goal; I make it my goal to show genuine interest in their lives, and the women I take out can feel that genuineness, which ends up making them want me to do physical stuff with them.

Lastly, the date shouldn't be longer than 45 to 90 minutes - you want to leave her wanting to see you again, so it's best to get out while you have her laughing and thinking about your in a positive light. Anything longer than 90 minutes, and you risk saying the wrong thing or having her become bored with your company. There's less risk of this as you two go out more, but for the first date make it a point to end it. If she's all like "hey, why don't we go to this other place" after the meal, tell her you have something else to attend to - whatever excuse you have to make up, just GET OUT OF THERE. Tell her you had a nice time, give her a hug, and then go home.

Wait 4 days to call her, then hit her up again and ask her for another date. If the first date was successful and she felt something she'll say "yes" to another date; if not, she'll give some excuse that equals "no." But, assuming you're not texting/messaging/calling her in between the date and when you ask her out again, all should be well.

Hope this helps!

 

[Anteros]

And.. She cancelled last minute (and hour earlier than the time we set). Honestly.. Even though this hurts and make you want to do something about it, I just can't stand when people do that. As if they didn't knew you do a lot of stuff before and tell you that just as soon you finish getting ready.

She send me a text saying she wouldn't be able to make it, I didn't respond. I will just move on. Thanks for your support you guys, though.

 

[Partizan]

I

That's why a dinner date can back-fire. Since you've already made it, get her laughing as much as possible. No conversations on politics, religion, work, etc. Stimulate her emotions, not her mind.

This is interesting. What do you mean by this? What are some specific topics that would stimulate her emotions?

 

[Anteros]

In my opinion you did the right thing Anteros by not responding.

I've always believed that when I'm not getting flaked or rejected, then I'm likely not approaching enough.

Yeah, I've been paying attention to some of you here, and same methods bring same results, so I better, with all the pain that it is to stop contact with a beautiful woman, just let go completely. Either way if only by responding to her I'll have more of this fickle, lame excuse of a "relationship" then I'm better just leaving.

 

[BeDJ]

It comes down to the validity of the excuse she gave. Most will suggest to never contact her again, but if it were a first encounter, I would give her the benefit of the doubt. Wait a few days and give her a call, not a text. If she picks up then set your plans within 2 minutes. If she doesn't pick up, and gives you a lame text back just simply reply, 'Holy moly! you missed out! Give me a call.' And then restructure your 2 minute plan when she does. I don't really quite know what your situation is, I am very quick to next, if that's any value to you. Sometimes, unforseeable things happen, it is up to you to take your pick. Good luck!

 

[Anteros]

It comes down to the validity of the excuse she gave. Most will suggest to never contact her again, but if it were a first encounter, I would give her the benefit of the doubt. Wait a few days and give her a call, not a text. If she picks up then set your plans within 2 minutes. If she doesn't pick up, and gives you a lame text back just simply reply, 'Holy moly! you missed out! Give me a call.' And then restructure your 2 minute plan when she does. I don't really quite know what your situation is, I am very quick to next, if that's any value to you. Sometimes, unforseeable things happen, it is up to you to take your pick. Good luck!

Thanks dude, but I don't think so. On friday when I check with her the plans for sunday, she said she didn't knew if she could make it since she paid a lot of money on her masters degree tuition, and was broke. I counter by saying it was my threat since I was the one who invited her. She blushed and said she was embarrassed (shy), but agreed when I told her that the next one would be on her. After that I went no contact until the very last hour before our meeting on sunday, were she sent me a message telling me she was sorry but that she got uninvited guests over her house, that it would have to be other time.

I didn't answer back.

Seriously, she's gorgeous. My perfect type of girl.
BUT!!! She's clearly not interested! And if we keep taking this stupid rude behavior from women, we will be part of the problem.

Even a "newb" like me in this sort of thing can see this.

 

[BeDJ]

You did not counter at all. Don't you think endless chumps will say 'it's my treat?' That's almost as worst as 'Can I buy you a drink?'

Having said that, it was low interest when she said she 'didn't know.' A lot of times, I take that as challenge me. Be creative, be obnoxious and never look back. A newb is very easy to 'next' a prospect because they aren't experienced in reading between the lines. It's much better to err on the side of c0cky than conventional response. Welcome to the world of women, where logical reasoning is stupid and erratic behavior is greatly rewarded. Good luck on the next one.

 

[Anteros]

Going to resurrect an old thread, but this guy speaks the truth in this sort of cases. Whenever she's like "I don't know" and kind of flakey, go for broke and mean it when you offer a "you won't regret it" counter-offer.

If she just don't cooperate, be polite but be sure she get she's not fooling you.

I'm just coming from a break up this moment and I don't feel half bad since I didn't felt like she "fooled" me this time we were together.

Thanks soundly for all your advice. At least I decided in the end to break up the relationship!