Help me out. I'm a 24 year old loser and I don't want to be this way anymore

[f283000]

Thanks. My problem tends to be internal and the fact I dont know many girls. I'm pretty serious about this so I'm thankful about the responses and don't want to waste anyone's time.

What you need is a sarge buddy. I was kinda in a similar situation, i knew the theory, had read the ebooks and it was now time to put theory into practice but i didn't have the balls to do this. I got over my fear by looking for a sarge buddy on the net from the pua forums i frequent and i started sarging finally. This was the turning point for me.

You got the theory down but you don't have the balls to put it into practice. Don't be ashamed a lot of guys are in your same situation (i was too). You get a great confidence boost in having someone you can talk to in person about pick up and you can go into the field with someone that is there to motivate you and you don't feel alone in doing this. Sure a lot of guys don't need a sarge buddy to go to war with and they can go into the field by themselves and have success. A lot of guys don't have the confidence to do this alone which is why getting a sarge buddy is crucial till you have done enough approaches that your confidence level rises and you can do this alone.

Do what I say. Look in as many pua forums as you can, contact people, find a sarge buddy and start putting all the stuff you have read into practice ASAP! or else you'll end up like me i waited a long time after i first started reading this stuff. I wish i had searched for a sarge buddy right after I had finished reading my first PUA ebook.

 

[snowdog]

This is my little list that sums up what helped me. Read it. It isn't exactly theory, it's a sum-up of all the things you need to know to get succesful in my opinion.

If you don't have a sarge buddy like me, start a journal. It will keep you on it because you know people are reading it. It helps tracking back your progress too.

Give it a try, and check out my latest few journal entries. Compare those to ones in the back of the thread. If I knew the stuff I put in that list from the get-go, it wouldn't had taken me 2 and a half years.

 

[slaog]

You need to love yourself first. Stop with the negative talk and start talking more positively. You're saying that you hope you're not wasting anyones time, well you're not but you only think like that due to low self esteem.

 

[Alle_Gory]

wow!! so much good advice. all of it will work. some better than others but it depends on YOU.

pick and choose what you want. it would be time consuming to try everything. pick what you think vibes with you, and do it. replace something if it doesn't work. obviously what you're doing now isn't working.


one thing you CAN try is to say YES. seen that movie YES man? with jim carrey. its pretty funny but its got a cool concept. when someone invites you to do something, say YES even if you don't think its really your thing. go out and seize the good opportunities life gives you!!

obviously use some discretion here.

 

[I'm in the Mood]

Man, first you gotta promise yourself one thing.
You WANT something, and you're willing to devote TIME and EFFORT to achieve your goals.

There is personal improvement and social improvement, and I suspect you want some combination of the two.
Don't stress yourself though. This is much easier than you think it is.
I went from being quiet and reserved to being adventurous and confident, and results come fast if you combine the time and the effort.

All you really strategically need in this game is knowledge and confidence, then eventually experience.

Step one to making yourself a plan is knowing the general idea of what you want. So what do you want?

 

[Maxtro]

How sad, another person in the same exact same situation as me. If you have seen any of my threads and read some of my posts you'll see that I feel pretty much the same way as you. Even though I was never picked on, I wasn't cool by any means.

It's really cool that a lot of people have posted advice in your thread. Some of it is good, some is crap, it's up to you to filter.

The first thing you need to do in order to make progress is to look at your life and how you see yourself.

Do you have an active social life? Do you have close friends, acquaintances? Any female friends? Are you close to any family members the same age range as you?

How do you feel about your body? Are you skinny, average or fat? Do you feel strong or do you wish you had more muscle? Do you try to dress cool and stylish or grubby?

How is your mental state? Do you frequently have negative thoughts? Do you put yourself down? How would you describe your personality? Are you happy, if not what do you think you are missing?

What do you do that's fun for you? How often do you do it? What activities do you do that gets you out of the house? How often are you in situations where you can meet and talk to women?

 

[Clash113]

How sad, another person in the same exact same situation as me. If you have seen any of my threads and read some of my posts you'll see that I feel pretty much the same way as you. Even though I was never picked on, I wasn't cool by any means.

It's really cool that a lot of people have posted advice in your thread. Some of it is good, some is crap, it's up to you to filter.

The first thing you need to do in order to make progress is to look at your life and how you see yourself.

Do you have an active social life? Do you have close friends, acquaintances? Any female friends? Are you close to any family members the same age range as you?

How do you feel about your body? Are you skinny, average or fat? Do you feel strong or do you wish you had more muscle? Do you try to dress cool and stylish or grubby?

How is your mental state? Do you frequently have negative thoughts? Do you put yourself down? How would you describe your personality? Are you happy, if not what do you think you are missing?

What do you do that's fun for you? How often do you do it? What activities do you do that gets you out of the house? How often are you in situations where you can meet and talk to women?

yes i was picked on by girls they made fun of me but i found out a lot later on a lot of them liked me but the damage had already been done at that point. that typical "ewwww" "your ugly mike" ****.

well i'm putting everything out there but no i dont have much of an active social life. most of my friends i have lost contact with since highschool so i'm generally by myself unless i'm in college. i talk to some people there in my classes but nothing really solid. i have started doing more socially active things because thats the only way to meet people but i still have some shyness and sef confidence issues i'm working on. i have one cousin who is older but he's in a relationship so i can't game with him.

i actually like my looks for the most part. i'm a bit on the skinny side but i dont think i am ugly as i've had some girls tell me i wasnt and ive actually been approached before. i could stand to put on a bit of muscle becuase im slightly on the skinny side but looks arent so much a problem as the other things and i consider myself to be alright looking. i dont think looks are the be all end all because ive had a realllllllly hot girl interested in me once that is into those buff kinda guys but my weak game ****ed it up and she eventually told me because of how pathetic i came across. and i'm sorta glad nothing happened anyway because i wouldnt of been able to keep up because she was into better guys than me who were older and had money but i'm glad for the experience because it woke me up to a lot of things.

my mental state is perhaps the biggest thing..i'm very negative and critical and people have *****ed to me for years about and how my attitude sucks. i didnt want to believe them at first but they are right. i'm always in a state of despair and wishing i would just go ahead and die sometimes because of this subject because of how pathetic i am and cant even get someone. now i'm not the type that would ever end my life or anything but i do carry that **** around so to speak and i think it impacts my health. my personality varies...when i am in a good mood i can be happy and joke and this is the way i always was in the past when i've had cute girls like me at first but because i am usually pissed and negative and quiet and brooding i hardly talk at all during these times. but this is the be expecte when your whole life youve seen everyone else in relationships and you step outside and turn on the tv you see the same thing and your denied and go year after year alone and you become embittered with each passing day. i have threatened to give up so many times and have, but i eventually keep coming back because i can't help the fact i like girls i but i never get anywhere and it's just an vicious endless cycle of torture and it's gotten to the point where i feel rejected even before doing anything. i can see it in their faces which is why i dont even bother opening 99% of the time anymore (yes i've done some cold approaches before to no avail) why? to get rejected? makes me think how sad 24 years old and havent even had a date when 12 year olds have more experience than me and some are even fathers already.

there is one positive though i can think of and thats i'm actually not jealous of any guys or anything who are succesfull. i'm actually glad when people around me have someone because they are avoiding my fate and it's not very a nice one. i've known people who have been jealous of guys who got girls but i always thought it was dumb becuase i'm sure they didnt just wake up one day and were like that plus it personally does nothing for you what someone has or doesnt have and i would never wish this **** on anyone else.

yes i maybe the most negative person in ss history but you see this is serious stuff i have been feeling this way since i was 8 years old and it's been compounded by the all the rejections and **** since. the only thing is i'm not lying about it anymore and i admit i am a loser on an epic scale. hpe this makes things clear, okay you all have a good one and i'll be back later

one more thing i forgot to mention is this week i'm gonna take the major first step and expell the past because it doesnt matter anymore and just hurts myself.

 

[SplitRock]

Were you abused?

When I read this

...the feelings of "ewww" I get in my head when I suspect grls look at me.

the first thing that came to my mind was that you were abused (not just teased by girls, but abused by parent/s or other adult/s). I feel this way when I'm getting checked out by girls, but that's because I was abused. If you were abused, you'll probably need more specialized help than this forum can provide.

Also, if you've been so negative since you were 8 yo, it sounds like something more from your childhood is part of the problem.

As far as working out goes, the muscular body is a side effect--the purpose is to help your mind. It can't be explained; it can only be experienced.

As far as the DJB goes, do the excises. This can't be explained either; it can only be experienced.

...expell the past....

Um, how does one expel the past? I'd like to do that, but I haven't figured out how to yet.

 

[Vanilla]

I've been in the same frustrated situation. I'd try to use the techniques that I learned in the bible but I would never be able to gather the courage to do that. Liquid courage worked for a while, but I still held back.

What I found out that if you take baby steps into the social scene, you'll be better off. You can't be from loser AFC to alpha male overnight, unless you try to fake it which will be too obvious to everyone around you.

What worked for me was dancing. I go everynight mostly because I love it and getting girls is a nice bonus. You also get to socialize with other guys, so you get wingmen automatically. It helps because I was able to get a number so easily last friday night. I've NEVER been able to get numbers at clubs before.

I reeked of confidence because I was dancing with her before. I start noticing how the people around the club kept to themselves because they couldn't dance. It was hilarious. I get to pick who I want now and it makes me feel like I can control destiny now, and the funniest part is that it's only been 2 months since I started. It can only go up from here! You'll notice your confidence change, because you'll know you have the moves to make a woman melt.

I hope you find your method of choice and start telling your success stories.

 

[snowdog]

Just read the link in my siggy, I promise you'll like it

 

[Craig Reeves]

Learning the theory is easy, but applying it is the hard part. It won't be easy, I'll tell you that. But don't get discouraged, you have to try to be successful. It will hurt in the beginning, but it will only get better.

First, you should work on yourself. Start hitting a gym or do martial arts if you feel insecure because you get picked on. Than, get some nice clothes and take care of yourself. Start feeling good about yourself!

Than, you should start approaching. The easiest place to approach is clubs, I recommend you start there. Getting some drinks in your system can also help you loosen up.

The only way to change your life around is to do something about it. And remember, that hard work always pays off in the end.

I like this post...

 

[lurker]

here's wat you do, dont desire them but talk to them.

here's wat you do, absolutly nothing. talk to them without desiring them. dont expect sex or a relationship to materialize from your conversations what them and youll see wonders. sexually talks can come up after the 3rd third. trust me i know what im saying. as long as you think you have a problem you'll keep haveing problems. if you dont think you have problems you'll be ok. you dont have to be more than you are if you are shuy, let shyness work for you. god created us differently, what works for one guy will not work for the other. sosuave teaches you to be everything but your self. the death of personality i say.

and you are right no more thoeries just act. no more reading techniques just live life and die.

 

[Buddhist Warrior]

Mostly everyone here has some solid advice.

But one thing I might add is bro you've got to find that internal happiness within you.

Everything in this life is plain transitory. What you maybe happy about something tomorrow, you're going to be dreading and miserable about in five years or so down the line. That's just how it works.

You've got to find that sense of joy that is without needing the approval of others, without needing the approval of a certain person, position or thing,etc.

You can start exercising, you can start socializing and be on the path of improvement that will help and is highly recommended. But ultimately please find that sense of innerpeace in which you can always turn back to when a good portion of your life is in the gutter.

Do this or in the long run. Or You will never be content.

 

[DJnomore]

Simple step by step plan to getting more ***** than you want.

1) be sincere. i am totally not kidding here. There are limits to how sincere you can be. You can't say hi I am just here to **** you and forget you can I buy you a drink? Actually strike that. That line would actually work with the right delivery. Sincere is important because thats what almost all are really looking for.

2) Obtain transportation. If you can't drive or ride the bus then this advice won't work for you.

3) Get the hell out of dodge. Go somewhere where you feel safe but know NOBODY.

4) Prepare yourself to **** ugly chicks. Proceed at near random to hit on women you are only marginally attracted to but NOT at the normal places. Don't hit on the ones you like. Hit on the ones you don't care about. Start with ONLY saying Hi how are you today? Then hi can I get your phone number so we can get this damn thing started? Then hi I am doing a spot check for kissing ability would you agree to kiss me in the name of science? Ask them if they are daring enough to answer the survey about how they trim their pubic hair, ask shave, wax, nair, or power muff?. Just ask. They know what you are saying. HINT: You are saying excuse me would you like to **** me on the off chance that I decide to be your boyfriend and one day maybe even marry you and help you have kids?

5) As you begin to better understand what bracket you have a reasonable chance of having sex with begin to adjust your sights higher and higher or lower. After every rejection remember you are one step closer to having a hotter girl beg to suck your disco stick. Realize that sometimes the HB9s are easier to pick up than the HB1s, life is just funny like that sometimes.

6) in your spare time do all the BS that this site suggests as it works too. Hit the gym etc etc etc. This mostly serves to move you from HB1s to higher on the scale and is only important if you are not happy with what you pull currently.

PS its all confidence, YOU tell a girl with your actions that you are a loser who doesn't get any. Once you don't believe it you will stop doing this and they will think you are a winner and most importantly that other women bend over for you.

PPS Once girls are willing to do the nasty with you, you will start to notice which ones are willing and which ones are not. Once you can see the signs you can actually deny rejection to some degree. Women will say I am not into you and you can send the vibe that you have a 2 foot long **** and every woman who has ever said no eventually said yes and then begged for it until you finally had to cut them loose for newer challenges. If you do this with women who only slightly said no you can change their outcome. If you do this with women who think you are a loser you can get into all kinds of trouble so be careful.