I have never had a date in my life. There have been lots of women who have openly liked me and probably more I wasn't aware of but I never went for it. I lack self esteem from getting picked on when younger and feel most of my problems are internal, at least this is what i've been told because of my attitude.
Help me out. I'm a 24 year old loser and I don't want to be this way anymore
- Thread starter Clash113
- Start date
Rhoto
Master Don Juan
WhitePimp
Master Don Juan
Read the DJ Bible. Absorb it. Then get off the computer. Then go out and do a ton of ballsy stuff with the opposite sex, putting yourself in every awkward situation you can imagine, try to get a date, kiss, sex, female friend, etc. Just do anything and in the process attempt to use the info in the bible to understand female psychology in order to maximize success as you encounter more and more women. Rebuild your self esteem by finding hobbies in the meantime that make you happy and you can excel at.
It's a long road man, I'm almost 24 and have just been through a few months of emotional hell on earth with a woman and am just starting to get my mojo back. I feel great that I'm standing up and getting back out there again...huge confidence booster.
It's a long road man, I'm almost 24 and have just been through a few months of emotional hell on earth with a woman and am just starting to get my mojo back. I feel great that I'm standing up and getting back out there again...huge confidence booster.
Learning the theory is easy, but applying it is the hard part. It won't be easy, I'll tell you that. But don't get discouraged, you have to try to be successful. It will hurt in the beginning, but it will only get better.Clash113 said:
First, you should work on yourself. Start hitting a gym or do martial arts if you feel insecure because you get picked on. Than, get some nice clothes and take care of yourself. Start feeling good about yourself!
Than, you should start approaching. The easiest place to approach is clubs, I recommend you start there. Getting some drinks in your system can also help you loosen up.
The only way to change your life around is to do something about it. And remember, that hard work always pays off in the end.
I think this is it. I've already learned all I need to know I think...I mean I can talk about the x y's and z's and why it works the way it does, the problem is applying it. I turn into a chicken when the moment comes and I don't feel confident within...I just don't. I feel really hopeless within and I become very angry. There have been times when i've approached someone hot or whatever and initially things went well....but I was eventually exposed and the girl was turned off. I've accepted part of the blame (sometimes the girls are straight up ****s and it doesnt matter) but I just can't get rid of these nagging feelings of helplessness and inadequacy. I don't really have any excuses because i've seen people in worse positions than me pull, but I honestly don't know what I'm gonna do. Sometimes I feel like some people just aren't meant for this ****. I mean i've been coming to this board since ****ing 2003! I have some female friends but go largely unnoticed by the majority of girls. At least I feel invisible to most anywayWhitePimp said:
I have decided to take the first step and admit it. I'm not hiding and running from the truth or placing the blame on someone else anymore
Things you can do, that have large impact:
1. Eat better. More veggies, meats and fats. Less carbs and no processed foods. Takes about a week or so to feel awesome.
2. Exercise. Eating helps, exercise helps even more. You will feel and look better and stronger. Confidence booster.
3. Socialize, socialize, socialize. Now that you feel better, you can show it. Let out some of that positive energy and attitude. The world is awesome, have fun with it and show other people how awesome it is!!! Play a game, go swimming, paint a picture. Do things that are interesting.
4. Although fun is important, work is more important. The best things in life take effort. You will reap the rewards. Career, planning, investing, working on your body, a masterpiece if you're an artist... etc. Learn the skills, do the work, then sit back and be proud of your accomplishment and gather the praise.
All these things will help build you up and reveal your inner strength and creativity. It's attractive, and its fun. Watch as you work towards your goals, how people will flock to you because you have something good to offer.
What do YOU like to do?
If you don't know, brainstorm things you MIGHT like and go out and try them.
1. Eat better. More veggies, meats and fats. Less carbs and no processed foods. Takes about a week or so to feel awesome.
2. Exercise. Eating helps, exercise helps even more. You will feel and look better and stronger. Confidence booster.
3. Socialize, socialize, socialize. Now that you feel better, you can show it. Let out some of that positive energy and attitude. The world is awesome, have fun with it and show other people how awesome it is!!! Play a game, go swimming, paint a picture. Do things that are interesting.
4. Although fun is important, work is more important. The best things in life take effort. You will reap the rewards. Career, planning, investing, working on your body, a masterpiece if you're an artist... etc. Learn the skills, do the work, then sit back and be proud of your accomplishment and gather the praise.
All these things will help build you up and reveal your inner strength and creativity. It's attractive, and its fun. Watch as you work towards your goals, how people will flock to you because you have something good to offer.
What do YOU like to do?
If you don't know, brainstorm things you MIGHT like and go out and try them.
This is good general advice. Lately I have started trying to excercise more and eat better. I need to work mostly on the social aspect of my life and confidence...reverse the feelings of "ewww" I get in my head when I suspect grls look at me. I know i'm putting everything out there and I probably look like a major tool but this is really serious and I suffer. Sometimes I wish I was dead because of this subject. I have to go now, study for finals, but i'll be back.Alle_Gory said:
nismo-4
Moderator
- Joined
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Hey you!
You need to get out more and get into random situations. Sitting on your ass is not helping. If women are your #1 priority, they'll catch on and you'll be in Rejection City, Nebraska.
Go bungee jumping, mountain climbing, hiking, to Six Flags! Or when I get bored from playing Mega Man 2, I usually walk around the neighborhood for exercise. There are beautiful women in there and I just make convo and the next thing you know we're walking together! This way, I get out the house, off my ass, exercise, and have a date without the pressure! This is a FREE, all in one package. Try it!
If you have an iPod, don't use headphones. Use earbuds. Put one in your ear and in the girl's ear. It'll MAKE you two get close!
One time I joked about freshening up at my neighbor's house, then I actually showered there! By the time I got out, I noticed that I must have sparked interest in her while walking. Next, she wanted to relax on the couch (love that leather) and we was like two peas in a pod. BTW, I had a muscle shirt on. Then she was rubbing on my arms and then I got up, with her off the ground, in my arms. I knew what she wanted when I brought her to her bedroom and she unwrapped my towel! Of course kicked the door closed and I hit that!
You can do it if you got game and initiative! Dating isn't always the cliche' dinner and a movie!
You need to get out more and get into random situations. Sitting on your ass is not helping. If women are your #1 priority, they'll catch on and you'll be in Rejection City, Nebraska.
Go bungee jumping, mountain climbing, hiking, to Six Flags! Or when I get bored from playing Mega Man 2, I usually walk around the neighborhood for exercise. There are beautiful women in there and I just make convo and the next thing you know we're walking together! This way, I get out the house, off my ass, exercise, and have a date without the pressure! This is a FREE, all in one package. Try it!
If you have an iPod, don't use headphones. Use earbuds. Put one in your ear and in the girl's ear. It'll MAKE you two get close!
One time I joked about freshening up at my neighbor's house, then I actually showered there! By the time I got out, I noticed that I must have sparked interest in her while walking. Next, she wanted to relax on the couch (love that leather) and we was like two peas in a pod. BTW, I had a muscle shirt on. Then she was rubbing on my arms and then I got up, with her off the ground, in my arms. I knew what she wanted when I brought her to her bedroom and she unwrapped my towel! Of course kicked the door closed and I hit that!
You can do it if you got game and initiative! Dating isn't always the cliche' dinner and a movie!
alwaysimproving7
Don Juan
- Joined
- May 6, 2009
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Remember, you need to WANT to improve for yourself. Don't do it for anyone else but yourself. This applies to life in general and not about picking up girls. Once you improve your mental thought process and start thinking positive then that's when you can let go and be yourself. When it comes to girls, its going to be frustrating and you're going to fail "everyone does" then you will start to get better but you must focus on the bigger picture. You can't let rejection get to you and then feel insecure about yourself. First find the dots, then connect them, then make the bigger picture. It'll all make sense once you get the hang of it.
daygameguy
Master Don Juan
Improve your mentality.
Learn to have fun and be happy even in the worst conditions.
Improve your voice.
Improve your body language.
Improve your inner game.
Improve your outer game.
Resouces:
1. RSD for inner game.
2. MM and other PUA resources for outer game.
3. Watch Mystery for body language and voice improvement.
Last but not the least,
SWEAT! SWEAT! and SWEAT some more.
Learn to have fun and be happy even in the worst conditions.
Improve your voice.
Improve your body language.
Improve your inner game.
Improve your outer game.
Resouces:
1. RSD for inner game.
2. MM and other PUA resources for outer game.
3. Watch Mystery for body language and voice improvement.
Last but not the least,
SWEAT! SWEAT! and SWEAT some more.
lol.. You're getting bombarded from all angles at this point.
I'm going to interject my opinion, however it's not really an attack from any angle here. The most important thing is to first accept that it doesn't matter that you are not in a relationship. Stop telling yourself that you have to find a girl and get into a relationship. IMO the very first thing you need to do in this game is to wipe the slate clean and allow yourself to stay that way until you're comfortable with the idea of being by yourself.
I'm going to interject my opinion, however it's not really an attack from any angle here. The most important thing is to first accept that it doesn't matter that you are not in a relationship. Stop telling yourself that you have to find a girl and get into a relationship. IMO the very first thing you need to do in this game is to wipe the slate clean and allow yourself to stay that way until you're comfortable with the idea of being by yourself.
countermart
Don Juan
Try this
OK buddy try this:
Firstly like you I was teased when I was young and it does stuff your inner view of yourself around for years, and in fact being put down still does that to me even at my age and it's one of the reasons I am on this site and it's helping me see reality and what crap all that stuff was in the distant past.
Remember if a girl knocks you back for a date never assume that she made a good decision. Really, being older I know lots of girls that have knocked guys back or ended relationships and many of them will tell you it was the most stupid thing they ever did. If a girl treats you badly be happy not sad, because believe me no girl is worth it if she is not adding value to your life, you have to think, “well thanks for clarifying early that you are a complete b*tch and saving me a lot of time and trouble”.
The advice to get active and on with your own life is good, but first you need to break the never had a date phobia. Do this any way you can with any girl. Guess what you will find, you don’t have a problem getting a girl you do not value, only one you do value and that’s where your insecurities come into play (takes one to know one). In any case you should be able to get a date just keep asking, and when you do you will at least break that first ice. If they say no keep moving down the feeding chain, just so you can break that first date ice. You can move up later.
Secondly, stop caring about the outcome. Every girl I have had success with I have simply gone after what I wanted and if I did not get it I took the attitude of not caring. Not caring works in business, and it works with girls because you try, and because people believe if you do not care you have plenty of options. Try and take the punches, and try again, and take the punches again.
Finally, you need to meet lots of girls quickly so go to ballroom dancing classes, yep a girl had to ring me three time to get me to do a course and to be her partner before I would even consider it, but believe me, you will meet 20-30 girls the first night and it will increase your confidence. Don’t knock it till you try it, its not just for old guys there are lots of 20s chicks all the way through, it will reduce your need to walk up to complete strangers.
OK that should get you started.
Hang in there, good luck, and don’t let the bastards get you down.
Countermart
OK buddy try this:
Firstly like you I was teased when I was young and it does stuff your inner view of yourself around for years, and in fact being put down still does that to me even at my age and it's one of the reasons I am on this site and it's helping me see reality and what crap all that stuff was in the distant past.
Remember if a girl knocks you back for a date never assume that she made a good decision. Really, being older I know lots of girls that have knocked guys back or ended relationships and many of them will tell you it was the most stupid thing they ever did. If a girl treats you badly be happy not sad, because believe me no girl is worth it if she is not adding value to your life, you have to think, “well thanks for clarifying early that you are a complete b*tch and saving me a lot of time and trouble”.
The advice to get active and on with your own life is good, but first you need to break the never had a date phobia. Do this any way you can with any girl. Guess what you will find, you don’t have a problem getting a girl you do not value, only one you do value and that’s where your insecurities come into play (takes one to know one). In any case you should be able to get a date just keep asking, and when you do you will at least break that first ice. If they say no keep moving down the feeding chain, just so you can break that first date ice. You can move up later.
Secondly, stop caring about the outcome. Every girl I have had success with I have simply gone after what I wanted and if I did not get it I took the attitude of not caring. Not caring works in business, and it works with girls because you try, and because people believe if you do not care you have plenty of options. Try and take the punches, and try again, and take the punches again.
Finally, you need to meet lots of girls quickly so go to ballroom dancing classes, yep a girl had to ring me three time to get me to do a course and to be her partner before I would even consider it, but believe me, you will meet 20-30 girls the first night and it will increase your confidence. Don’t knock it till you try it, its not just for old guys there are lots of 20s chicks all the way through, it will reduce your need to walk up to complete strangers.
OK that should get you started.
Hang in there, good luck, and don’t let the bastards get you down.
Countermart
Daddy The Pimp
Master Don Juan
Do the DJ Bootcamp.
Nothing will help if you keep reading and dont take any action.
Nothing will help if you keep reading and dont take any action.
WOW!!.....For the first time EVER i feel proud to be a member of this forum, seeing that we have so MANY ppl who are willing help even a person who is completely lost !
and btw Clash113 I hope you took @ least one bit of these gentlemen's advice cause honestly man this is your chance to make things right! Just look at how many ppl rushed to help you and guide you.
I don't know about u man, but if u can apply the physical aspect of these advice (Fitness & Martial Arts) then count urself lucky, cause i don think it would be healthy for me to do them while i have an Inguinial Hernia not allowing me to do any heavy weight lifting or staining until i get surgery. an YET i still go out and have fun and GAME ON WOMEN ....cause its honestly a GAME!
How many times have you played your favorite game on ur PS3/PS2/Wii/XBOX/PC/etc. and lost a mission and hit the REPLAY/Start button to try again?!
Hope you do well man.
Peace
and btw Clash113 I hope you took @ least one bit of these gentlemen's advice cause honestly man this is your chance to make things right! Just look at how many ppl rushed to help you and guide you.
I don't know about u man, but if u can apply the physical aspect of these advice (Fitness & Martial Arts) then count urself lucky, cause i don think it would be healthy for me to do them while i have an Inguinial Hernia not allowing me to do any heavy weight lifting or staining until i get surgery. an YET i still go out and have fun and GAME ON WOMEN ....cause its honestly a GAME!
How many times have you played your favorite game on ur PS3/PS2/Wii/XBOX/PC/etc. and lost a mission and hit the REPLAY/Start button to try again?!
Hope you do well man.
Peace
If you're fun and interesting, the women come.Clash113 said:
Learn what is fun and interesting to you, and communicate that. They will become attracted. Guys too. They'll all want to hang out with you.
Good luck. Begin now, and chill out so you can enjoy the journey.
Captain Harlock
Senior Don Juan
Start working out. Start going out. Start doing interesting stuff. The most important thing is to feel good about yourself before you can do anything else.