Help me out here

[Stringer_Bell]

So I got this e-mail from a girl I went on a date with last night. We've seen each other three times before, making out but no sex. She has exams coming up, but in a month.

On the date all she went on about was how 'busy' she was. She is one of these girls who really seems to get off on just talking about how busy and important they are. It actually annoys me. A lot of the time I'm way busier than these girls, but I don't make an issue out of it, I just deal with it, calmly and in the background.

Hi Stringer

Let's just talk when you come back. I'm too busy right now. I'm even decreasing the amount of emails that I will respond... I need to focus.

Have a safe trip!

Keep in touch,

xo
HB8

1. Am I unreasonable for feeling annoyed by her? I wasn't even trying to talk about anything, my e-mail to her basically was just wishing her luck for the exams.

2. If I wanted to cause maximum amount of hamster spinning (and assume I don't care whether I see her again or not) would it be better just to go fully NC or send her an e-mail telling her I don't think it's a good idea that we see each other again, but good luck for the exams?

SB

 

[Willard]

I would go no contact forever.

 

[GotED?]

Self-Entitled, Self-Righteous, Self-Glorifying Princess Hamster that needs to be exterminated into the Black Hole of the Universe.

Still shopping for the next best thing, get rid of her before she DUMPS you over finding the next best thing.

Major Attention HO.


This is my #666 post, take heed of the dire warning. LOL.


Exodus

 

[GS750]

I agree with ED, she's stringing you along. For validation, other guy in the picture, etc. who cares why. Drop her. Go NC. Don't even respond to that email. F*ck her and her exams. She's a princess and you don't want to deal with that anyway.

 

[Yo'Mama]

Agreed with the guys above.

Out of interest GotED and GS750, are you saying drop her THEN go NC or just go NC. I dealt with a girl like this recently. Not sure which approach is better. Maybe it doesn't matter.

 

[GotED?]

Agreed with the guys above.

Out of interest GotED and GS750, are you saying drop her THEN go NC or just go NC. I dealt with a girl like this recently. Not sure which approach is better. Maybe it doesn't matter.

No point trying to make an apparent move to BURN THE BRIDGE forever, no need. That is just an unnecessary low AFC move to try to hurt another person for no good reason to make your own ego feel better.

Go NC for yourself (so you can remove her from your mind and use that energy on new women).

There is no guarantee any woman will bounce back from NC (I seen a good share that does recently LOL). If you BURN THE BRIDGE, it is all done.

If she does break NC, you will have to observe her behavior if she's mature enough to own up to her game and bullsh!t to give her another chance. I haven't yet seen a woman who has the GUTS to own up to her sh!t after she breaks NC with me wanting to reconnect (no apologies, no admittance of sh!t behavior, etc).

We men are NOT their daddy - and you should not be entrapped in a woman's need to replay back her unresolved childhood wounds of re-enacting poor sh!t behavior that her daddy failed to correct, and GETTING AWAY WITH THINGS. I been with enough women in their mid-30's who act like little girls with the mental maturity of 18-25yrs old, it gets OLD really quick.

Then it is NC forever for me.

Good luck.

Exodus

 

[beatjunkie]

NC that b homie

 

[Atom Smasher]

It is way too late to get her hamster spinning. That ship has already sailed. You're disappearing will barely cause a shoulder shrug.

I would answer "Actually, let's not." and then go complete nc. This will at least annoy her beneath the surface. Never even consider contacting her again.

 

[Turuwal]

Hi Stringer

Let's just talk when you come back. I'm too busy right now. I'm even decreasing the amount of emails that I will respond... I need to focus.

You have been so available to her whims that she is actually telling you. Be thankful that you know where you stand.

1. Am I unreasonable for feeling annoyed by her? I wasn't even trying to talk about anything, my e-mail to her basically was just wishing her luck for the exams.

The text of your email is not important. The subtext of your email, which is important, is that you have nothing better to do than to email someone you have not even had sex with.

2. If I wanted to cause maximum amount of hamster spinning (and assume I don't care whether I see her again or not) would it be better just to go fully NC or send her an e-mail telling her I don't think it's a good idea that we see each other again, but good luck for the exams?

There is no strategy based on words that you can use to make her hamster spin. Women own this space. Anything you say to her buys into it and validates her.

The one thing that women fear most is abandonment. You will use this fact to go no contact. If she contacts you, you will use the one tool that men own, which is action.

A woman must know that the only time you will talk to her is when she is submitting to your escalations.

 

[JoeMarron]

She's too "busy." Simply stop talking to her unless she hits you up first. I agree with Turuwal that your email was pointless. Save the fluff talk for your wife or LTR and even then it's not that necessary.

 

[Stringer_Bell]

Thanks for the responses guys. Have gone NC on her, not to try to get her to come running, just out of disgust for that e-mail she sent and what a self-important little princess she is.

 

[Yo'Mama]

Deleted.

 

[VladPatton]

I'm too busy right now. I'm even decreasing the amount of emails that I will respond... I need to focus

Delete immediately. This is a preemptive "fück off!"

 

[Stringer_Bell]

Very interesting PairPlus,

I will keep this thread updated. For now I am absolutely no contact. Let's see what happens. I think if she contacts me I'll post before responding, if I do respond at all.

To give some more background (and I think there's a lesson in here), this is the second Colombian girl I've been involved with. The first one was a BPD from Cali, who sucked me in, chewed me up and spit me out (although I was the one that finally ended it). This girl is also from Cali. I'm not sure she's BPD at all but they have very similar traits:

- Lots of attention and initial warmth and affection.
- Telling me in very strong terms they are girls who don't like games and they are into guys who lavish attention on them, call them, e-mail them all the time from the start (I know, I know - this is basically where I went wrong because I sort of believed her, even though I should have known better, and didn't apply basic principles of game - i.e. not texting too much, not being too keen, etc. I didn't go over the top but my 'game' was far from perfect, all because I put some credence in what she had told me - this was my big mistake.)
- Utterly self obsessed. All conversation revolves around her and her studies/work. Very little interest in what I do. I actually hate talking about my work but these two girls boast like crazy, as though they're the centre of the universe.

This girl also flaked on me twice. Once because she was ill (so she said) and once because she was stressed about exams. After the second flake I ignored her and went on a date with another girl. While on the date the Colombian girl was blowing up my phone telling me she really liked me but was just stressed about her studies. Any time I've made like I'm done with her she comes back. Whether she will this time or not I've no idea.

I could never be serious about a girl like this. I got serious about the first Colombian but I learned from my mistakes, at least enough to not get badly burned. Where I went wrong was believing this girl (like the first Colombian) when she said she was 'different' and wouldn't speak to a guy again if he waited three days to call her.

She also seemed appalled that I had forgotten the date of her birthday (she 'tested' me on it on the last date, asking if I remembered). I don't make a big deal of birthdays, she had told me the date once (while I was a bit drunk) and to be honest I couldn't even remember the month, let alone the exact date. I wouldn't give a damn if a girl forgot my birthday, unless she was my long term girlfriend (even then I wouldn't care, but that's just me). I've only been out with this Colombian girl three times. In my opinion it's a bit princessy and ridiculous to actually expect me to remember her birthday and chastise me when I didn't remember.

So, there it is. I thought this might turn into an interesting case study for the board. I'm not emotionally involved but she is hot and would be good to get the bang. Like some of the posters on this thread have said, most likely the ship has sailed already but, given some of her previous behaviour, I'd guess there's about a 50% chance that I'll hear from her again. Watch this space.

 

[Stringer_Bell]

I'm too busy right now. I'm even decreasing the amount of emails that I will respond... I need to focus

Delete immediately. This is a preemptive "fück off!"

On the one hand, I totally agree. On the other hand this kind of thing is congruent with the way this chick behaves, so I wouldn't be surprised if it isn't the end of the story (I wouldn't surprised if it was the end of the story either).

This behaviour is totally inconsistent with somebody that would make good gf material (not that I'm looking for one) but let's see if a bang can be salvaged from this. Probably not but worth a try. For now, NC. If she contacts me I'll seek counsel from this board before replying.

 

[GS750]

I always go with the belief that if she likes you, no matter how busy she is, she will make time. So continue with the NC and see if he hits you up.

 

[El Payaso]

I'm sorry but OP is purely to blame for this one. She's not a spoiled princess. YOU are the spoiled baby. We are only getting one side of the story here and from what you said later in the thread, I have a feeling you hounded this girl with messages and conversations leading to over communication.

You're a lucky man. Other women would have simply ignored your messages after a while instead of giving you a direct response.

 

[Stringer_Bell]

El Payaso,

Anyone giving an account on this forum is only giving one side of the story. I'm not sure where you get that this is purely my fault from, aside from you speculating that I bombarded her with messages. I have sent her as many messages as she has sent me.

I'm not sure why you'd be so quick to point the finger at me here. It's not really based on anything you know.

 

[DrYoungCub]

SB,

First I want to say that I can completely relate to your situation. I have had my fair share of Colombianas, and I bet they all have some underlying traits in common (fake breasts, beautiful looks, spicy...), but you must remember here that her traits and shortcomings are none of your issues. Those are things she must deal with, and maybe they will serve her well with what she is pursuing.

With that being said, I agree with most guys above, and you should definitely take your frustration and invest that energy in the person that matters most here... YOU!

Forget anything she has said, and pay attention to her actions instead (one of the DJ commandments). It is probably true that she is "busy," but that could mean anything, even that she is busy with her ex-boyfriend...lol. Don't take anything these girls say for face value, unless their actions are clearly consistent with their words.

I am nobody to judge, but I think you are too hard on yourself. Be true to your own nature of being a desirable and free man. Spend this time with other guy friends who make you feel good and remind you what it means to be YOU.

She is probably doing you a favor by distancing herself... let her go, and I have a feeling she will be back within a few months. For now, stick with us.

-Dr

 

[Stringer_Bell]

Thanks DrYoung,

Absolutely, that's sound advice. Colombians (at least the two I've been involved with which is a pretty small sample size, admittedly) do seem to exude a warmth and femininity I've rarely encountered. They're easy to like, at first anyway. A lot of guys say they are great relationship material as well. Maybe they are, who knows.

This girl doesn't owe me anything, I enjoyed my time with her. At the end of our last date she was the one suggesting we went somewhere else for one more drink. She seemed keen enough but I think my game could have been tighter. Anyway, as you said it's not worth focusing on her. I wanted to hit the town tonight and meet other women but I'm laid up in bed with flu.

El Payaso - one further point. Why would I lie? I could easily twist facts to engender support from posters here but, given that I'm asking for advice, what would be the point? Any advice I got would be based on false facts and so would be worthless. I don't know why some posters on this board are so quick to go on the attack. A couple of posters did say, '...unless you spammed her inbox', which is fair enough. They qualified their advice whereas you just assumed that what I said was untrue. Really weird.