Help me man up. I need it so much

[Igetit!]

Thanks Igetit, but i think she likes my personality as is...

You make it sound as if I'm trying to get you to change your personality or something. That's not what I meant. I only said for you to use the same boldness you had when you asked her out ON THE DATE.


And the escalation suggestion is just how escalation is done. You don't want to just haul off and try to kiss the girl,you want to start off small,to test her to see if she's willing to be kissed.




I know,I know...you don't want to have sex with the girl,I know. So don't take the following as if I'm trying to push you off into sex,I'm just explaining the principle behind this whole "escalation" thing....




Sex is more intimate than kissing,but kissing is more intimate just holding her hand.. So if she won't let you hold her hand,then she most likely won't let you kiss her. And if a girl won't let you kiss her,thenit's HIGHLY UNLIKELY that she'll let you have sex with her.



You see what I'm saying here? Start off small,escalate. If she even bothered to accept a date with you in the first place,then on some level she's already agreed to the POSSIBILITY of everything that a date includes,which is hugging,kissing,etc. She just has to be gently led there.




It's simple:At some point,you WILL HAVE TO AT LEAST try to kiss her.


If you don't she's going to wonder what the whole point of you even asking her out was.



I mean you told her that you cared for her. Then when she agreed to go out with you,you don't do anything?



All that drama that went down between you two talking about caring for each other,and her wondering if she can give you what you "deserve",you telling her that you'd rather walk away than do the whole "best friend" thing,ALL OF THAT,then when she finally agreed to give you want you wanted,you hesitate about trying to kiss her?



If you decide not to try and make some sort of move on her,don't blame her for losing interest because it won't be her fault.

 

[Jokerlsk]

You're right, man. I gotta do something, and i know i will when the time comes. But yeah, start off small. Hold her hand and see how things go. The only thing that intimidates me is the kiss. I guess i just gotta go for it, when the timing is right

 

[CarlitosWay]

You're right, man. I gotta do something, and i know i will when the time comes. But yeah, start off small. Hold her hand and see how things go. The only thing that intimidates me is the kiss. I guess i just gotta go for it, when the timing is right

There's never going to be a "perfect time" you make the moment not some little fantasy pixie fairy, you go out on the date have fun, joke, make subtle movements like light brushes of her legs/shoulders, real manly hug (hug her like you mean it) and like Igetit mentioned hold her hands playfully .. Make everything flow naturally towards the end where a kiss won't be that unexpected.

IF she indeed likes you for your personality like you mentioned then all this should be fairly easy, walk through the park kiddo.

 

[Igetit!]

Make everything flow naturally towards the end where a kiss won't be that unexpected.

Now this is freakin' beautiful.

+1 rep.

 

[nismo-4]

If she even bothered to accept a date with you in the first place,then on some level she's already agreed to the POSSIBILITY of everything that a date includes,which is hugging,kissing,etc. She just has to be gently led there.




It's simple:At some point,you WILL HAVE TO AT LEAST try to kiss her.


If you don't she's going to wonder what the whole point of you even asking her out was.



I mean you told her that you cared for her. Then when she agreed to go out with you,you don't do anything?



All that drama that went down between you two talking about caring for each other,and her wondering if she can give you what you "deserve",you telling her that you'd rather walk away than do the whole "best friend" thing,ALL OF THAT,then when she finally agreed to give you want you wanted,you hesitate about trying to kiss her?



If you decide not to try and make some sort of move on her,don't blame her for losing interest because it won't be her fault.

Gotta love those quadruple spaces! I'm filing this under "Don Juan Dating Laws"! And I'm reppin' it!

 

[Jokerlsk]

What do i do about this whole nonstop texting thing? I'll wake up and text her, or she'll text me.... and it goes on all day, and i know yall think that's a bad thing. I don't know what to think about it.

 

[Igetit!]

What do i do about this whole nonstop texting thing? I'll wake up and text her, or she'll text me.... and it goes on all day, and i know yall think that's a bad thing. I don't know what to think about it.

Now Jokerisk...please....PLEASE answer this question I'm about to ask ACCURATELY....


When you two text each other,WHAT DO YOU TALK ABOUT?

 

[Ice882]

Probably everything...SMH

"How many kids do you want?"

lol jk

 

[Jokerlsk]

Honestly, we talk about a lot of stuff. I ask what she's doing, or hows her day going, What am i supposed to be talking about?

 

[Igetit!]

Honestly, we talk about a lot of stuff. I ask what she's doing, or hows her day going, What am i supposed to be talking about?

You're supposed to be talking about THE TWO OF YOU.


Look,there's nothing wrong with asking her how she's doing,or about her day,or some other topic. All those things are ok,it's just the TIMING you need to be concerned with.



It's A.C.S./attraction,comfort,seduction,in THAT order. Just talking about random things is COMFORT. It's ok,but it has to come AFTER ATTRACTION.



Go take a look at your "I've got a prom date,now what?" thread,and glance down at reply #10. If you'll notice,I said the same exact thing there as I'm telling you here now.


That's all we can do. All we can do is keep saying the same exact things OVER AND OVER AGAIN until you finally "get it".




And if you'll notice another thing,I keep asking the same question over and over again,which is "What do you talk about?". You know why I continually ask that? Because I need to see what's coming from YOU.




It's easy to get a sense of where things are headed between a guy and a girl because it's the types of conversation between them that takes them there.
I keep trying to see if there's anything romantic coming from YOU to her because for one,this whole thing started off with her REJECTING YOU and trying to friendzone you.



So if she's changed her mind,then cool,but SOMEBODY here needs to be steering the convo into a romantic direction from time to time.



My concern is this:You told her you were interested in her,then she tried to pull out the LJBF card. Then after rejecting you,SHE ASKED YOU if you two could still be "close",and you said no. Then she asked you to give her a day,24 hours to think over the situation. Then she came back,and now everything's supposed to be cool between you two. And since you and her text back and forth everyday,you apparently are still giving her this "closeness" she asked you about before.




My concern is if this girl will start trying to flake on you when the time for the date comes. I say that because right now,she's ALREADY GETTING that "closeness" she wanted from you when she tried to LJBF you. She's getting what she wants,but you only have a promise from her about you two going out sometime in the future.



She hasn't actually gone out with you yet. I don't want her to have agreed to a date with you only so she can keep getting that "closeness" she wanted with you,but when the time for you to get what you want from her (the date) comes along,starts flaking and coming up with excuses,because that way she can still get the closeness she wants from you WITHOUT having to date you.



You see what I'm saying? That's why I keep asking about your conversation with her.



You have a history on the board of girls trying to use you and take advantage of you. I just want to be sure this is the real thing and not another girl just trying to get something out of you.

 

[CarlitosWay]

My girlfriend just threw me these texts last night "I want you to rub me all over" and .... I told her "stop it lol don't tease me like that" all I got was "sry I'm real frisky tonight" and she came back with a "mmmm Carlitosway say something dirty to me"

Now this is where you want to get joker!!!!

I like to build up the anticipation to as I don't try to text/call her every damn day, she's the one calling/texting me usually. We see each other only a few times a week but damn me if it's not intense when we do!!!

Oh and Skype late @ night can be a god send lol, she's in her room alone wearing something sexy and you can project some sexuality...very easy.

 

[Jokerlsk]

Okay well for starters, she'll tell me that "I'm cute " or I "Make her smile." and I had to reschedule the date, and when i did she said, "If we don't see eachother saturday, there's gonna be a beatdown " She was honest about what really happened. She told me she was talking to one of my friends for a while, but he cut it off and that was why, not school. But she also told me she told him, even before i could. Because she likes me. And me and him are cool about it.

 

[Jokerlsk]

bump

 

[snowdog]

Okay, yall hate on me, burn me, whatever.
Basically i straight up texted her, "Listen, it's pretty obvious I'm interested. I need to know if you are, or if I'm just wasting my time." and she sent me this

"It's complicated. I am, but i really right now don't feel like i could do it! Because everytime i have a boyfriend or whatever i can't focus on school and with it starting and all i just need to get back into things! But you're a really really nice guy adn sweet and funny and really fun. It's just a little much for me right now but that's not forever because you are a really good guy and i never ever want you to doubt that. Can we still be close and stuff??"

Then i said "Listen, i need to be hoenst with you. I'm not trying to an *******, but i'm not doing this whole best friend thing. I got too much to deal with as is, and I'm not looking for another friend."

Then she said, "Okay, well that's cool. Just know i'm always here if you need anything."

and i said, "Thanks but no thanks. If i'm close to you I'll always want more and that's just not happening."

and she said, "I just don't want things awkward between us."
and i said, "I'm gonna see you like 5 times all year. It won't matter."

and she said, "I'm so sorry it's like this. I wish it wasn't!"

and i said, "I don't regret getting to know you. Next time don't lead someone on."

and she said, "Yeah well you know what? I didn't think i was until i came to reality and knew i couldn't do this right now. And i want it to be different.

And i said, "Sorry it can't."

And she said, "Could you ever see this working again?"

And i said, "I"m not just an option. I'm a person. You can't just decide when and when not you want me. I honestly don't know."

and she said, "I know. and you're a much better person than me. I mean what i'm saying you just don't understand. I'm not ust playing around with you i want this to happen. You're just not understanding why i did this."

and i said, "I am understanding. And i care about you. I can't just be someone you use to make you feel better or smile. And even if you aren't playing around with me, that's how it feels. I deserve more."

and she said, "I know. I know. I know that's how it feels and i know you deserve a hell of a lot more than that. I honestly don't know if i could give you all you deserve but i know i could try. I want to. Can i have something? One thing. One day. I just need to get my head straight. Please jokerlsk?"

and i said, "Idk what you're asking for."

And she said, "Can I please have until tomorrow to think this whole thing over? Please?"

And i just said, "Okay. Whatever. Just call me."

Then she said bye


and like two hours later she said night.

WHAT JUST HAPPENED
Dear god.

I did that sorta sh*t once and I didn't get away with it. I got burned HARD. You seem to have gotten lucky.

My advice, and this is also coming from a guy in training mind you, don't talk so f*ckin much. Talking has never lead me to anything good. The times I did have success I was being physically aggressive. Grab her, hug her, high five her, rub her leg etc, talk close to her face, pull her body against yours, get a hard on, be unapologetic about your intentions [but not verbally!], EYE CONTACT!!!

Okay well for starters, she'll tell me that "I'm cute " or I "Make her smile." and I had to reschedule the date, and when i did she said, "If we don't see eachother saturday, there's gonna be a beatdown " She was honest about what really happened. She told me she was talking to one of my friends for a while, but he cut it off and that was why, not school. But she also told me she told him, even before i could. Because she likes me. And me and him are cool about it.

YOU TALK TOO MUCH. Who gives a **** about what he said, she said, you said, who's cool with who, and who's cool with what. IRRELEVANT, UNIMPORTANT SH*T. Also don't think too much. Don't over-analyze that sh*t. When dealing with girls, turn down the thinking as well. Girls don't think logically and the ones that do, are the ones who aren't sexy, cause they think like men.

Don't wait for that prom bullsh*t. Set up a date tomorrow. Texting is for p*ssies and a waste of time and should mainly be used to set a time and location to meet up. She's clearly into you since she seemed to have forgiven you for that crazy texting sh*t earlier in this thread.

You're doing good, my man. She seems into you, that's the hardest part. All you gotta do now is close the f*ckin deal.

Set up a date. Stop the texting. Get physical on the date. Don't be a p*ssy and take action. At the first single hint of a feeling you should go in for the kiss, GO FOR IT IMMEDIATELY AND DON'T HESITATE. DON'T BE A P*SSY.

 

[snowdog]

I'm drunk right now, but you should take these messages seriously.

 

[snowdog]

Yes.