Help me just "be"

[thisthingcalledlife]

For a long time I've pondered why I can never really let my mind rest and be free of worries and troubles. I live a pretty normal life, maybe above average. I'm academically able, physically well built, have a great family and a successful love life. BUT, for 70-80% of the time, I feel down and am anxious about something. It could be things I've done in the past, like behaved poorly as a teen, or worry of things that might happen in the future. It really ruins my mood and drains me of so much energy. I'm sure it's the reason why I feel such apathy for the majority of the time. If I'm not consciously thinking about something "bad", I'm sub-consciously doing it. It's like I've got this brick wall of worry that keeps me from being happy and just content with things. Whenever I'm given compliments or praised I directly think of all the "bad" things I've done (like smoking, drinking, being sexual with girls etc), making me feel unworthy of positivity. WHY can't I just have a peaceful mind and just "be", without constantly having this dark cloud of negativity or worry over me. At the worst times it's even given me suicidal thoughts and a really negative view of life.

What to do?

 

[Biggie]

I know exactly what you are talking about. My suggestion: Become Zen! Seriously look into all the books and stuff on Zen. It's pretty interesting stuff.

 

[Hakuna]

Negative thoughts breed negative feelings, you have to start thinking positively. Think that you're happy, that you're cool, that you're good at what you do, that you're happy to be alive etc. It sounds silly at first because you're going to be CONSCIOUSLY FORCING yourself to think things when your used to doing it naturally, but that's how you change your habit of thinking negatively. If you consciously tell yourself "I'm an Alpha Male," your subconscious will eventually accept it and it'll become apart of your natural train of thought. As your mind starts accepting it subconsciously, you'll begin to truly believe in it and act the part. Similarly, if you force yourself to think only things that make you happy, you'll get into a habit of it and do it naturally. Catch yourself when you're thinking negatively and force yourself to stop.

Work out and eat healthy. Your physical well being is largely connected to your mental well being. TRUST ME, it will help A LOT. Change the type of music you listen to. Don't listen to stuff that feeds into your negative mental state. And lastly, try and avoid the people that think negatively the way you're doing right now.

oh and also, don't say anything negative out loud, ever. You might say them accidentally but try and cut em out. Don't ever say "My life sucks" or "I had such a bad day" in a conversation. ONLY say positive things whether it's about the weather, other people, how your day went, or your life.

 

[thisthingcalledlife]

Thanks guys for the replies.

Hakuna I will do exactly this. Your input is much appreciated.