Help me judge her interest level.

Raymond

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I met a girl in one of my classes and I need help judging her interest level.

The first day of class, I sat across her and notice her from that moment. We didn't talk or make eye contacts that day, but the 3rd day (2nd time of the class) I sat next to where she was sitting on the 1st day. She came into the class 1 hour late and sat next to me. I looked over to her and smiled a little and said "hey." She smiled and blushed while looking back at me. During the break, we started talking (I forgot who initiated) and she asked me to be friends on a social media. She said that if one day she's not coming to the class she will have someone to notify. I gave her my number and tell her to text me. My intention was to have her text me to my phone, so that we could have each others' numbers. She most likely didn't realize my intention and instead used my number to add me to her social media and sent me a blushing emoji. After the class she nervously waved goodbye to me and spoke in a low voice that she's going to return a book to the library.

Forward to the first day of class this week. We sat next to each others again and talked a bit more. When she had her phone out, I asked her if she used her phone texting. She replied "yes," and I said "give me your number, so I can text you." She looked at me and said I could text her over the social media. I didn't expect her to say that and was disappointed. I looked at her and I could tell she sensed my disappointment, and while I was putting my phone back into my pocket, she wrote down her number on my notebook and said to text her. Of course, I was gonna text her right there anyway, so I sent her a flirty message to her phone. When she read it she giggled and her face turned red. After the class was over we walked together to the transportation, but I noticed that our steps weren't the same pace. She walked in front of me and only became synergized after we started talking.

Then continue to the 2nd time of the class this week. When I came into the class room she was already there sitting in the same seat. I went over and sat down next to her while she was glued to her phone (or pretending to be). I said hi to her, then she finally look over to me and said hi. This day we didn't talk about anything beside our homework. And during the break she went outside the class room and didn't return until the break was almost over. When she came back from the break, she took out her phone and were just attached to it. I felt like she didn't want to talk so I just remained quiet. After the class, we walked together to the transportation again. And like last time she was walking in front of me, our steps weren't synergizing. I remained quiet half of the way until she turned around and asked about my job.

On the first day we met and talked she seemed interested, but then it felt like it's going downhill.
 

PokerStar

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next class you have with her sit in front of her. Maybe sit a few seats to the left or right but make sure you sit in front of her.

I know it'll be hard but dont acknowledgeher when you come into class, if you happen to lock eyes just give her a cool nod or a "i'm not into you look" and sit down. This is where its key. Dont look back hoping she is looking at you. Ignore her.

If she tries to get your attention during class. you got her. if she tries to get your attention after class like chasing after you. you got her. if she sends you a text during class dont answer it.

This is my version on how to gain interest levels.
 

Raymond

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PokerStar said:
next class you have with her sit in front of her. Maybe sit a few seats to the left or right but make sure you sit in front of her.

I know it'll be hard but dont acknowledgeher when you come into class, if you happen to lock eyes just give her a cool nod or a "i'm not into you look" and sit down. This is where its key. Dont look back hoping she is looking at you. Ignore her.

If she tries to get your attention during class. you got her. if she tries to get your attention after class like chasing after you. you got her. if she sends you a text during class dont answer it.

This is my version on how to gain interest levels.
Okay, however, if she doesn't try to get my attention, then is it safe to say that she's not interested and I should sit away from her?

And if she asked me why I was sitting at a different seat, how should I respond?
 

Raymond

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GettinMyMindRight said:
^^^^ Echo the sentiments above, but also:

Quit letting her walk in front of you all the time. You need to be walking side by side with her, or even slightly in front of her.

Dog owners are told to never let their dogs walk in the door first. This is because dogs need to be trained that they are not in control.

I'm not comparing women to dogs - relax. I'm making the point that her walking in front of you all the time is kind of like her subconsciously telling you that she thinks she's the one in control of your interaction.

Let that inner Alpha out! It's in there somewhere.

Good luck!
The reason she was walking in front of me was because her pace was faster than normal. She's shorter but walks faster than me. Thank you me making me realize that no matter what we need to have the same pace. I will not pick up my pace to match hers, instead I will tell the girls to slow down if it ever happens again in the future.
 

Raymond

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PairPlusRoyalFlush said:
Look, theres only 2 possible reasons why she was was icing you the second day. Either she has low il or she wants to see if you can be a man and ask her out. My guess is #1 because she has shown more low il indicators than high, but you might as well go for it.
What's il?

Also, I remember that during the last day of our interaction when the class was over and after we left the class room, I told her to "walk this way" a different and faster route to the transportation. She walked with me, but she immediately cross her arms and held it for like several second. I don't remember exactly how long she held it, maybe 10-20 sec. And as I mentioned, she picked up her pace and walked in front of me.

The moment she crossed her arms, I sensed it that she didn't want to walk with me.
 

nismo-4

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Raymond said:
What's il?

Also, I remember that during the last day of our interaction when the class was over and after we left the class room, I told her to "walk this way" a different and faster route to the transportation. She walked with me, but she immediately cross her arms and held it for like several second. I don't remember exactly how long she held it, maybe 10-20 sec. And as I mentioned, she picked up her pace and walked in front of me.

The moment she crossed her arms, I sensed it that she didn't want to walk with me.
IL is interest level.

Just make a move. Then you'll know. If she rejects, drop her. Simple.
 

jurry

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nismo-4 said:
IL is interest level.

Just make a move. Then you'll know. If she rejects, drop her. Simple.

Exactly. Way too much analysis. Ask her out.
 

Raymond

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Okay, I didn't ask her out due to she's taking two classes in a 6 weeks semester. She has 4 essays to write and two classes to study, and in addition she works. Timing is a important factor in asking a girl out, so I calculated that she doesn't have the time. Moreover, two days ago I invited her to sit next to me on a bench outside the classroom while waiting for the prof. to come and unlock the door. She refused and went to sit on a bench around the corner. I figured that she wasn't comfortable around me for whatever reason, and if she wasn't comfortable around me, what make me think she's gonna agree to a date.

So, I employed what PokerStar said about ignoring her and not giving her attention. I sat away from her in a different row with my back facing her. After the class ended, she went out the class room first with a different guy that was chasing her (obviously). I was maybe like 15-20 feet behind. She turned around and looked at me and wave goodbye. I didn't react and I just looked at her. She took few more steps and look back at me again. Then she continued for few more steps until she was ready to turn a corner and look back again at me for the 3rd time. During this whole time she was having a conversation with that guy. Meanwhile, I took a turn and went to restroom right before she made that turn at the corner.

What can I make out of her looking back at me 3 times?
 

Igetit!

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nismo-4 said:
IL is interest level.

Just make a move. Then you'll know. If she rejects, drop her. Simple.

THANK YOU. It's just that simple.

This guy.....DAMN.....I couldn't imagine going through all this sh1t girl after girl.

What does this mean?
What does that mean?
She had her arms crossed. Was that bad?
She walked ahead of me.
She looked back at me.
She wouldn't sit down next to me.


....and on and on and on. All that sh1t would drive me crazy.

I can't speak for everybody else,but me personally.....there's only ONE IOI I go by. ONE. All the rest of 'em,to hell with it. One IOI,which is this.....

When I ask a girl out,and she says YES. That's the ONLY ONE I go by.....and even it's not 100% all the time.


The OP is scratching his head wondering what this means,that means,she looked back at me,etc,etc. He's gonna fool around and miss out. Some dude with BALLS is just gonna step to her and make a play,while he's going around in circles analyzing and procrastinating.

Dude made this thread on the 3rd,and here it is the 10th,A WEEK LATER....and he's still asking what "this and that" means instead of just stepping to her and going for the date.


He's either gonna get friendzoned,or wait until someone else makes a play,then she'll tell him it's too late. Then he'll get to hear her gush and squeal about the "new guy" she just recently started dating.
 

Raymond

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Igetit! said:
THANK YOU. It's just that simple.

This guy.....DAMN.....I couldn't imagine going through all this sh1t girl after girl.

What does this mean?
What does that mean?
She had her arms crossed. Was that bad?
She walked ahead of me.
She looked back at me.
She wouldn't sit down next to me.


....and on and on and on. All that sh1t would drive me crazy.

I can't speak for everybody else,but me personally.....there's only ONE IOI I go by. ONE. All the rest of 'em,to hell with it. One IOI,which is this.....

When I ask a girl out,and she says YES. That's the ONLY ONE I go by.....and even it's not 100% all the time.


The OP is scratching his head wondering what this means,that means,she looked back at me,etc,etc. He's gonna fool around and miss out. Some dude with BALLS is just gonna step to her and make a play,while he's going around in circles analyzing and procrastinating.

Dude made this thread on the 3rd,and here it is the 10th,A WEEK LATER....and he's still asking what "this and that" means instead of just stepping to her and going for the date.


He's either gonna get friendzoned,or wait until someone else makes a play,then she'll tell him it's too late. Then he'll get to hear her gush and squeal about the "new guy" she just recently started dating.
I disagree with asking her out as the only ioi. From my personal experience, a genuinely interested woman could still say no to a date. I met one just like that about a year ago. You also have to understand that no one system or method works on every persons. And the reason that a week later I'm still here guessing is because we only meet in class twice a week. If I could charm a girl who's uncomfortable around me into my new girlfriend in just two days, I would be a god already.

I'm not saying you're wrong, but I just disagree. However, you did inspire and teach me on what I need to do, and that's getting to the bottom of this instead of doing guesswork. I come up with a clever way that can yield a similar result without asking her out on a date. Yep, no more guesswork.
 

VladPatton

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Ask and ye shall know!

nismo-4 said:
IL is interest level.

Just make a move. Then you'll know. If she rejects, drop her. Simple.

This is all you need to know. Everything else is fluffy clouds with dancing cherubs. Ask! There is no magic bullet. You will then be relieved and have your answer.
 

Raymond

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Well, I asked. She refused, said too busy with her essays (I figured) and said I mistook her intentions/IoIs.

Well, blah...
 

hudpes

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I think... you missed the opportunity for the A script asking out - you quickly establish momentum of attraction and surprise and before she starts thinking aobut it - boom, ask her out. The B script is same as A, except you don't ask her out and instead wait because you're not sure what's what, the momentum passes, she has ample time to cool down and think about it, and determines your intentions (which she didn't quite get before because she was overwhelmed) so you can't ask her out at that point, then you have to take a step back, just let her be and start building the momentum later and pick the right moment to ask her out. Much more difficult as it requires more patience and finesse... And you, right now, move on, obviously.
 

No.Danny

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Haha I'm actually glad. That's what happens for acting like a bvtch and waiting so long fool. Haha.
 

Igetit!

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Raymond said:
Well, I asked. She refused, said too busy with her essays (I figured) and said I mistook her intentions/IoIs.

Well, blah...

Hey man...it's all good...this is what's SUPPOSED to happen.

Girls rejecting and turning guys down is as much a part of dating as getting strikes in baseball. Sucks,but that's part of the game. By asking her out,you did what you were supposed to do. She actually did you a favor in my opinion.

Course we'd rather get a "yes" than a no,but I'd rather get a "no" than drag the sh1t out for weeks and weeks and weeks,imagining,wondering,and trying to guess and speculate as to what "this" means and "that" means.


If the answer is no,then fine.....say no and get the sh1t over with. You just need to learn from this and understand what errors and mistakes you made so as not to repeat them with the next girl.....cause you made a BOAT LOAD of mistakes,the MAIN ONE being what "Danny" said about you waiting too long.
 

Raymond

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When was the right moment to ask her out then?

She kept sending me like and dislike IoIs at the same time. I felt she wasn't interested due to the mixed signals, so I was holding back at making a move.

She said she's just a friendly person. If what she said was true, then she was not romantically interested to begin with. So asking her out sooner wouldn't have changed a thing. Agree?
 

hudpes

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Let's say your chances would not be lower if you asked her out sooner plus you'd get your answer sooner and if negative, you could move on to other girls with minimal time and effort wasted.

and I said "give me your number, so I can text you." She looked at me and said I could text her over the social media. I didn't expect her to say that and was disappointed. This is like hanging with guys on some beers and saying, oh man, I really love daffodils, and then be puzzled at the avalanche of laughter and making fun of you. You were in a weak position - give me your number - is a demand that has no natural base, and if your intention is to contact her, it's the easiest resistance maneuver to say - you already have my FB so you can send me a message there if you need me for some reason. See, your intentions were unclear, you were subtle, she's not making a risk, ever, you are supposed to.

so I sent her a flirty message to her phone. When she read it she giggled and her face turned red. After the class was over - this, at the latest is the time you should have asked her out. Maybe even at the end of the flirty message. Wanna go out some time? If yes, smile. Then, step away, no more flirty messages, no walking to transport, no contact, just minimal, hi, smile, bye. Until you ask her out for real. That's my opinion on how you'd maximize your chances. Now that you didn't, take the lesson with you, and move on.
 
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