Help Me Get Her Back

[Speculator E]

I didn't read your whole story. What helped me when I was in your situation not too long ago was realizing how happy I was after she was gone. So ask yourself this:

Are you more happy now or before? Likely it might be now if she caused you so much drama. If so embrace it and let it go. You can't control what she'll do. But you can take responsibility on your happiness.

Start doing what makes you happy and slowly you start forgetting about her. And when the times come that she decides she wants you back then you factor that in and you'll say you will think about it. You'll put it through your life decision processing brain machine. If she makes you happy then you'll take her back. If she was constant drama you say NO.

You'll deal with it when it happens. If it doesn't then you continue moving on.

It can be that easy.

 

[foolyoufool]

I didn't read your whole story. What helped me when I was in your situation not too long ago was realizing how happy I was after she was gone. So ask yourself this:

Are you more happy now or before? Likely it might be now if she caused you so much drama. If so embrace it and let it go. You can't control what she'll do. But you can take responsibility on your happiness.

Start doing what makes you happy and slowly you start forgetting about her. And when the times come that she decides she wants you back then you factor that in and you'll say you will think about it. You'll put it through your life decision processing brain machine. If she makes you happy then you'll take her back. If she was constant drama you say NO.

You'll deal with it when it happens. If it doesn't then you continue moving on.

It can be that easy.

I appreciate the comment man... To be honest I was happier with her, she was completely drama free until this situation came about. It could also be that now I have NO plates since I ditched the other girl too, but I've definitely been forgetting about her more and more and getting on with my life. She also hasn't contacted me a single time since we stopped hanging out... Makes it easier to get over her but still kind of hurts that she hasn't felt the need to reach out.

 

[foolyoufool]

Hey guys, tomorrow is Alex's birthday, and I'm thinking of sending her a "Happy birthday!" message, just to keep me in her thoughts. I'm pretty much over her and I've got some new plates spinning, but I still wouldn't mind having her come back down the line. I haven't heard from her in 2 months, since we broke up. I wouldn't turn it into a conversation unless she asked how I was, and then even then I'd keep it quick. Thoughts on this?

 

[Lord Hypnos]

Hey guys, tomorrow is Alex's birthday, and I'm thinking of sending her a "Happy birthday!" message, just to keep me in her thoughts. I'm pretty much over her and I've got some new plates spinning, but I still wouldn't mind having her come back down the line. I haven't heard from her in 2 months, since we broke up. I wouldn't turn it into a conversation unless she asked how I was, and then even then I'd keep it quick. Thoughts on this?

for the love of god, do not send her that message!!

 

[Harry Wilmington]

Look... I'm not really an advocate of the whole "get back with the ex-girlfriend" thing... because what happens is that the issues that caused her to break up with you will, inevitably, end up coming back and the break up will happen again, only faster this time.

With that said: I have had several girls I used to date hit me up and start trying to get me back... but only after a minimum of 6 months of no contact. I don't know why it takes that long, but my guess is that's enough time for her to forget all the reasons she dumped you and start reminiscing on all the nice things you did for her. I say this to say: if you're wanting her back, the worst thing you could do is interrupt the time she needs to miss you by contacting her. Let it go, focus on other things, and if she wants you back, at some point she'll hit you up.

Think about it, man: she dated you, so she hasn't forgotten you. If she wanted to talk to you, the phone works both ways and she would have contacted you already. If she's not hitting you up, it means she's not interested in you for the moment. Ego punch, I know, but it happens - so, suck it up, stop being the wimpy guy that can't get over the ex, and let it go. And if she hits you up and you both decide to try it again, really think about the things that caused you two to break up in the first place and see if you're able to either not do those things or find some common ground so she won't leave you for the same reason she left you before.

Oh, and for the love of God, check out my podcast - they are free downloads but have some really good solid advice that I think could help you in your quest to stop losing women. Hope this helps!

 

[foolyoufool]

Look... I'm not really an advocate of the whole "get back with the ex-girlfriend" thing... because what happens is that the issues that caused her to break up with you will, inevitably, end up coming back and the break up will happen again, only faster this time.

With that said: I have had several girls I used to date hit me up and start trying to get me back... but only after a minimum of 6 months of no contact. I don't know why it takes that long, but my guess is that's enough time for her to forget all the reasons she dumped you and start reminiscing on all the nice things you did for her. I say this to say: if you're wanting her back, the worst thing you could do is interrupt the time she needs to miss you by contacting her. Let it go, focus on other things, and if she wants you back, at some point she'll hit you up.

Think about it, man: she dated you, so she hasn't forgotten you. If she wanted to talk to you, the phone works both ways and she would have contacted you already. If she's not hitting you up, it means she's not interested in you for the moment. Ego punch, I know, but it happens - so, suck it up, stop being the wimpy guy that can't get over the ex, and let it go. And if she hits you up and you both decide to try it again, really think about the things that caused you two to break up in the first place and see if you're able to either not do those things or find some common ground so she won't leave you for the same reason she left you before.

Oh, and for the love of God, check out my podcast - they are free downloads but have some really good solid advice that I think could help you in your quest to stop losing women. Hope this helps!

Word, what you both said makes a lot of sense...Part of me just had to ask your opinions on this, probably because deep down I know its a bad idea, but I just wanted to do it so bad. F!ck! This **** sucks. I've never been this torn up about a girl leaving me before. Whatever, spin more plates right? And I'll definitely take a look at your podcasts.

 

[rossitheking]

Good on you for seeking advice dude. Your getting great responses.

Walk away and never look back. Easier said than done but this single action separates the men from the boys. Be the man.

Now get out there and give the gift of your attention on others.