Help Me Get Her Back

[foolyoufool]

or he could be a player, since he stole 'your girl' right from under your nose.

True, it's possible. But she was never "my" girl to begin with. Whatever, I'm never going to find out about him because I'm not trying to find out anything about her at all, so it really doesn't matter. But valid point.

 

[Sandow]

Dude, this girl was spinning plates, boning you and another dude at the same time?

that's ****ing disgusting bro. I wouldn't ever talk to her again.

The majority of girls do this, they are just super discreet about it. They'll do whatever they can in order to look innocent, while in actuality they're riding the c0ck carousel. This isn't news to me, but I do have some close female friends tell me all kinds of crazy stories (which only confirms it).... They're just extremely good at hiding it

 

[dosquito]

You think so man? Any other dj's wanna chme in on this? i've been under the impression that any half-decent girl only deals with one guy at a time.

 

[foolyoufool]

The majority of girls do this, they are just super discreet about it. They'll do whatever they can in order to look innocent, while in actuality they're riding the c0ck carousel. This isn't news to me, but I do have some close female friends tell me all kinds of crazy stories (which only confirms it).... They're just extremely good at hiding it

Another reason why I'm not interested in an exclusive relationship... I've realize d now I only wanted it because she was pulling away from me.

 

[foolyoufool]

You think so man? Any other dj's wanna chme in on this? i've been under the impression that any half-decent girl only deals with one guy at a time.

I definitely think girls spin plates just as much if not more than guys. I remember one tucker max story where he got a bj from a girl then she left to go on a date with another guy. Can you imagine being the second guy? Just another reason to take girls off their pedestals.

 

[Sandow]

I know so! Bro, I'm telling you, I see it with my own eyes...I'm actually quite surprised you really think they only deal with one dude at a time. Who told you this? Where did you get this idea? That is some good Hollywood B.S. right there! You don't even wanna know the extreme stories

 

[jeffreylebowski]

Not all chicks are banging or seeing a bunch of dudes at once. Some are, sure, but to say the vast majority are doing so is a pretty broad statement.

Any time I'm seeing a new girl, I just assume she's probably dating around, but that's more a function of keeping expectations in check and just having fun.

It really just depends on what kinds of girls you are seeing/socializing with.

In this particular case, since they were both seeing other people, it's hardly "disgusting." It was understood. No big deal.

 

[dosquito]

Hmmm. I'm not sure. I mean sure, plenty of low quality girls are riding multiple ****s simultaneously. and most girls are always checking their options. But I think it's fairly uncommon for a girl to be actually boning more than one dude at a time unless she's cheating on her beta boyfriend to get with an alpha. Meaning, if a girl is actually into you I dont see why she would be sleeping around. I guess it all depends on what youre looking for in a girl, but I don't think that's normal. Taking turns phukking multiple guys? That's the trashiest of the trashy behavior for a girl and probably requires a good deal of emotional damage/insecurity. if I ever found out a girl had multiple simultaneous sexual relationships I dont care if she's a 9.9, Im not interested.

 

[foolyoufool]

Hmmm. I'm not sure. I mean sure, plenty of low quality girls are riding multiple ****s simultaneously. and most girls are usually checking their options. But I think it's fairly uncommon for a girl to be actually boning more than one dude at a time unless she's cheating on her beta boyfriend to get with an alpha. Meaning, if a girl is actually into you I dont see why she would be sleeping around. I guess it all depends on what youre looking for in a girl, but I don't think that's normal. Taking turns phukking multiple guys? That's the trashiest of the trashy behavior for a girl and probably requires a good deal of emotional damage/insecurity. if I ever found out a girl had multiple simultaneous sexual relationships I dont care if she's a 9.9, Im not interested.

You have a point there. With Sara she was so attracted to me she told me she wasn't seeing other guys, she just couldn't imagine being with someone else. Since I didn't care much about her, game came naturally, I was totally outcome independent, she worked for me, and I treated her like sh!t. (She was also much hotter than alex)

With Alex, I spent most of the time chasing her. It was about 70% me 30% her. I was just SO attracted to this girl I couldn't resist wanting to meet up. I thought I was covered because she knew I was spinning plates, I fxxcked her hard, and acted ****y. She was 90% down for whatever plans I offered, until near the end. (Although the last time we really hung out, I spent the ENTIRE weekend with her. Even as I was doing it I was thinking "this is a mistake, I'm TOO available!" But I justified it because it was the summer and I was flattered that she wanted to hang out too)

I guess I was too AFC with her then huh? That could explain why she left for the other guy. Is it possible she just became unattracted to me, not that "she realized I was never going to ask her out?"

 

[Krueg]

I've gotten a Ex-Back before.. Ended up not being worth it and we broke up again!! If I would of just manned up and forgot her, It would of saved me from more trouble and heartache. I won't make that mistake again!!

 

[Iceberg]

Pimp-sicle gave some great advice. I'll chime in too.

The Sparknotes: This girl I'd been seeing not exclusively broke up with me last week, telling me that she was seeing another guy and he asked her to be exclusive and she accepted. This was because she was tired of waiting for me to ask her to "get serious."

That's a logical response from her. And there might be some truth to what she's saying. But I'm of the philosophy that women will do ridiculously illogical, irrational things for love. When a woman has a perfectly rational reason for breaking things off...I just have trouble buying it.

So maybe she liked you more, but "New Guy" gives her more security. Or maybe she just wanted a change. I mean, if she wanted you to be serious so badly, she could have just asked, right?

You know this girl better than I do...I'm just throwing out a different option.

Haven't spoken to her in a week, but I plan on asking her to meet up, so I can tell her how I really feel and get her to leave that other dude.

Meh. I don't think that'll work. That's a Hail Mary play right there. Your best bet is to back off and pursue other plates.

You doing the whole "tell her how I feel" thing is essentially playing all of your cards. If you walk away right now, she'll remember you as a man. If you come back begging, she'll lose all interest.

Walking away leaves the door open for future hookups. Coming back on your knees, could either work greatly or fail miserably. Most likely the latter.

 

[foolyoufool]

Pimp-sicle gave some great advice. I'll chime in too.



That's a logical response from her. And there might be some truth to what she's saying. But I'm of the philosophy that women will do ridiculously illogical, irrational things for love. When a woman has a perfectly rational reason for breaking things off...I just have trouble buying it.

So maybe she liked you more, but "New Guy" gives her more security. Or maybe she just wanted a change. I mean, if she wanted you to be serious so badly, she could have just asked, right?

You know this girl better than I do...I'm just throwing out a different option.



Meh. I don't think that'll work. That's a Hail Mary play right there. Your best bet is to back off and pursue other plates.

You doing the whole "tell her how I feel" thing is essentially playing all of your cards. If you walk away right now, she'll remember you as a man. If you come back begging, she'll lose all interest.

Walking away leaves the door open for future hookups. Coming back on your knees, could either work greatly or fail miserably. Most likely the latter.

Thanks for your comment. Yeah I agree with you, it did seem pretty "rational" of her. Though once we had a conversation about asking girls out, I told her I've always been the one asked out, and she was shocked, she said she never asks guys out and is always the one asked. She even brought this up during our break up conversation.

Whatever. Just gonna say fxck her right now and move on. Still love hearing all your opinions on the situation.

 

[foolyoufool]

It's been two weeks since we broke up / last talked... Still really have feelings for her but I'm getting over it. What do you guys think of me texting her in a months time just to say what's up?

 

[expos]

It's been two weeks since we broke up / last talked... Still really have feelings for her but I'm getting over it. What do you guys think of me texting her in a months time just to say what's up?

I've hooked up with a lot of old exes...and my advice is....

DON'T DO IT...it will appear like you sat for two months and cried over her. This is exactly what woman doesn't like in a man. The appearance of looking strong and dropping her quick is actually what makes their vag tingle more than a lame "what's up? " text.

The only thing you can do now to even a have remote chance at getting her back is to go out and get with someone hotter than her, which will bruise her ego. Action, more than any words, will get her hamster spinning. She'll want to compare herself to your new chick and might express new interest in you due to jealously.

But somehow, this information needs to get back to her through mutual friends, facebook, etc.

Plus, if the new hot chick works out that means the ex is finished and in the garbage which is probably a good thing anyways.

 

[Kbomb]

It's been two weeks since we broke up / last talked... Still really have feelings for her but I'm getting over it. What do you guys think of me texting her in a months time just to say what's up?

nope, use that text on the next girl you talk to and you should be talking to more.

 

[adam225]

Nah, just leave her. Let her txt you if anything. If she doesn't - then just forget about her. It obviously wasn't ment to be....

 

[foolyoufool]

I've got an idea... Thinking about hitting up Sara (the girl I just dumped) to get back together. When I dropped her I said it was because I was looking for "something more serious," which was total BS, I thought I was just about get into a relationship.

She had already "broken up" with me twice before, because I wouldn't be exclusive with her. She came back both times. If I got back with her I would have to try not to lead her on too much... Honestly at this point I would be completely using her just to help get over Alex (Sara never even knew Alex existed) which is pretty sh*tty of me but it will def make me feel better.

Am I being too big of an a**hole if I do this or what?

 

[expos]

I've got an idea... Thinking about hitting up Sara (the girl I just dumped) to get back together. When I dropped her I said it was because I was looking for "something more serious," which was total BS, I thought I was just about get into a relationship.

She had already "broken up" with me twice before, because I wouldn't be exclusive with her. She came back both times. If I got back with her I would have to try not to lead her on too much... Honestly at this point I would be completely using her just to help get over Alex (Sara never even knew Alex existed) which is pretty sh*tty of me but it will def make me feel better.

Am I being too big of an a**hole if I do this or what?

It wouldn't hurt to send Sara a text. No response for her? Move on.

The best possible scenario would be to find a completely different girl so that you are not bouncing back and forth between past hookups. Seek the taste of something new and enjoy it for the time being.

 

[Pimp-sicle]

I've got an idea... Thinking about hitting up Sara (the girl I just dumped) to get back together. When I dropped her I said it was because I was looking for "something more serious," which was total BS, I thought I was just about get into a relationship.

She had already "broken up" with me twice before, because I wouldn't be exclusive with her. She came back both times. If I got back with her I would have to try not to lead her on too much... Honestly at this point I would be completely using her just to help get over Alex (Sara never even knew Alex existed) which is pretty sh*tty of me but it will def make me feel better.

Am I being too big of an a**hole if I do this or what?

I know your not thinking clearly because your not over Alex, but this is where guys really drop the ball IMO.

If you got 2 girls interested in you, guess what? You can get 10 more interested in you.

Many people have a fear of being "alone," thinking it means something is wrong with them.

Personally when I'm getting out of dating a girl, its never fun to be "alone," but its there that you can do some of the best emotional growth & figure out what part you played in the situation going wrong & not repeating it.

Go find new girls dude, I told you already that once this relationship she's currently in goes downhill, she will likely coming knocking. Its only been 2 weeks.

I'm willing to bet once you find a decent new girl, you won't even give a shiat about this chick.










PIMP

 

[foolyoufool]

I know your not thinking clearly because your not over Alex, but this is where guys really drop the ball IMO.

If you got 2 girls interested in you, guess what? You can get 10 more interested in you.

Many people have a fear of being "alone," thinking it means something is wrong with them.

Personally when I'm getting out of dating a girl, its never fun to be "alone," but its there that you can do some of the best emotional growth & figure out what part you played in the situation going wrong & not repeating it.

Go find new girls dude, I told you already that once this relationship she's currently in goes downhill, she will likely coming knocking. Its only been 2 weeks.

I'm willing to bet once you find a decent new girl, you won't even give a shiat about this chick.










PIMP

Damnit dude, you make so much sense. I definitely think this is good advice, thanks for keeping me grounded.