Help me be a man

[Pex]

I'm 17 and a half, I'm naturally quite shy (usually), have never had a girlfriend and have never asked one out before, I have a tendancy to isolate myself, i have never in my life had a set of good friends that respect me for longer than a couple of months, I'm 6 foot, but unhealthily skinny, I don't shave and girls tend to go for the stubbly, manly looking type at this age, i'm not ugly but i look far too boyish, i used to be known for about 6 months for being legendly funny and confident, then i went into an undiagnosed depression without help from friends or family, i don't have good relationships with my family and am the youngest of four kids, I'm a virgin, a light weight and i'm overly sensitive about my personality (or lack of it) and appearance, I used to lie about my past and stuff i've done to seem cool, which made me fake, i think i have a thinking disorder (ie i think the most unproductive bs for ages at a time), i am a true procrastinator, putting everyting off til the last minute.

You've seen people like me looking for help on this baord on almost a daily basis, the difference is i've been on this board for over a year and half now (under various nicks) and what progress i made, was erased by the bout of depression i dealt with. Now my social skills are almost non-existent, everyone i know in school, which is just about everyone in my year, has lost the respect they had for me and my friends treat me like sh!t.

I don't know whether i'm genetically doomed to be a unsociable reject or something, but i want and need to change into the man i idolise and wish to be. someone help me turn my life around.

 

[blienk]

I understand your feelings of despair, but you have to realize that there's nothing we can do for you that you can't do for yourself.

You say you've been around for a while, so I'm assuming you've read the bible - even so, I'm going to recommend you read it again. Maybe its a cliche, but it has everything you need to know.

 

[Sniper2k]

!!!!!

Daaaaaaaaamn man, you must be my twin because you are almost EXACTLY like me, except being skinny. I know what you're going through man. Although I'm still struggling with the same problems you are, I can give you some advice.

So your unhappy with your current state of being. The best and ONLY answer to your problems is to do something about it! Yes, you'll have your victories and your failures, maybe you may fail more often than not, but don't EVER give up! See what works to make you a better person and do them every damn day until it becomes natural to you.

What you gotta do is simply live the way you want, but live it GREAT! Fukk the haters, they only diss you and bring you down cuz they dont wanna see you surpassing them and having the whole fukking world in your hands, completely happy and in control of your life! Just do whatever it is that makes YOU happiest!

Some advice is to get a great role model to be your influence. Don't settle for anyone in particular, get little bits of good/positive influence from many idols. Don't ever try to imitate fully or you'll come out as fake. One of the best pieces of advice from a friend of mine was: "Be your own man."

It may take a while, but all you need is to believe in yourself and you WILL be the man you wish to be! I'm with ya all the fukking way dude! Good luck man, you can accomplish this.

The only point in life is to do your best to die a happy man...

 

[mateo_g]

If you are unable to get yourself back on your feet, after serious effort, you should see a professional. Clinical Depression is nothing to sneeze at, it can ruin your life. At your age you should be out and about, having fun and living life.

Don't waste your youth moping around feeling like the world is out against you. There will be plenty of time for that later when you are married =) Go seek out help if you can't do it on your own. Don't waste your youth, you'll be angry at yourself later if you do.

 

[Sammo]

"help me be a man" - perhaps this is the funniest thing i have read all day, noone can help you be a man, its something you have to do for yourself.

Life is a game, all you need to do is play it. (This forum is the instruction manual , now make sure you play the game and dont just read the manual all day )

 

[Blowfish]

I know exactly how you feel, your whole life is turned upside down as your friends begin to treat you like sh!t, and thinking that you are a loser, and possibly talking bad about you behind your back.

My problem is similar, I had a crush on this girl and I knew most of her friends, a few of my "friends" knew them too, because one of them now is dating one of the (girl) friends.
Before my crush said she wasn't interested, these friends of mine used to talk to me alot, we used to hang out and do stuff. However, when I failed, they slowly began to drift away from me, bringing some other people (who by now knew the group of girls) along for the hating. All these people, both the girls and my "friends" now look at me as a loser, I can feel it, and I feel as though they are now thinking they are more superior then me because the girls are good friends with them and don't think of them as losers. I'm pretty sure that this is the reason, because everyone who don't talk to me now are the people who know the girls, friends who still talk to me are people who don't know the girls, I'm pretty sure that's the case.
I can go further into this bullsh!t... but I won't. It hurts really bad, knowing that what good friends we were until a group of b!tches came into the picture, and now that one of them was successful with one of the girls, the talking stopped, and the abandonment begins, it hurts especially the fact that they look at me as a loser because the girls did that, I would have stood up for my friends if they were in my scenario.

So in retaliation to all this hating, I've decided to implement a plan to change myself. Its true everyone has their points of losing and stages of winning, look at historical figures, people like Hitler had a stage in his reign in which he was so powerful, but there was also a stage where he failed, in fact two stages. I'm in the failing stage at the moment, but I believe that one day I will triumph and put a nail in the coffin to all the hating, if you put your mindset like "I'm going to win no matter what, I'll be on a superior level soon." then you will win, "Believe and you shall become" or something like that was written in the article "Kill That Desperation" (If you studied the bible then you'll know what I'm on about), have that mindset and you'll defeat all your adverseries.

"If you play the game, you play to win..." So believe that you are going to win this game and play it like your are going to win it no matter what.

 

[jtws]

I was like you except that I was ( and still am ) 5 foot 7.

I worked out.
I talked to everybody in the neighbourhood.
I learnt some social skills.

I dressed well.

I worked out some more.

It's simple really.

 

[DJ Alejandro]

juz say to yourself. fvck! enuf is enuf! im gonna be a man!

read the bible.

 

[Pex]

Thanks for the advice guys, i've made a few changes to what i do, i've quit this computer game ive been addicted to for 4 years, I'm working out like crazy, and i went out with an old mate last night and had the best night i've had in a very long time. The girls barely noticed me which kind of dents ya ego (as a kid i fooled myself into thinking i'm really good-looking), but hell that just motivates me more to work out harder and to socialise more.
Now i just have to keep a hold of myself motivated and disciplined, watching i dont slip into depression again at the sign of failure.

 

[Hannibal]

well anything short of me handing ya a package of testicle enhancing cream theres nothing i can do, being a man is something everybody should do on their own, their own way, just think about what you think is right (without going nuts) and do it!