Help im a "Nice Guy" again

[Brak]

I fell into the "nice guy" role with this chick i have been hanging out with for about a month.
Treat her right, take her out, bring her over, party with her, and get this...... even sleep in my bed. But yet she doesnt think of me "like that". She will make comments to me like "why cant i find a nice guy like you" ..... WTF !!!!! ...lmao
Im tired of being her shoulder to cry on. I play my cards right and yet she goes after the a**holes like always.
Help me get out of the nice guy role. If not with her than for any chick i meet in the future.
Nice Guys DO finish last
Thanks
DJ's

 

[Krassus]

You came to the right place.

Before you go on, know that once you fall into the trap with a particular girl, getting out of it is hard, but can be done with time and patience. Of course, by the time you know how, you'll have plenty of other girls, and won't really want her anymore, which is exactly why you'll be able to get her if you still want her.

What you have to do is adopt the DJ mindset. The basic techniques are here to guide you, but what you need to do is start thinking like a DJ and not just acting like one based on something you read. But it all comes in time. Click the link in the top right corner and start reading the bible.

Don't limit yourself to one section - jump from one to another and read a few posts in each, then go back and forth until you get the hang of most things. Then practice in real life, and she'll notice and may eventually start thinking of you in 'that way.' And if she doesn't, next time she starts telling you about being unable to find a nice guy, tell her how full of **** you think she is.

But whatever you do, never EVER tell her you want her. Make her want you. The less you want her, the more she'll want you. Its just that simple!

 

[Rahul]

Originally posted by Brak
I fell into the "nice guy" role with this chick i have been hanging out with for about a month.
Treat her right, take her out, bring her over, party with her, and get this...... even sleep in my bed. But yet she doesnt think of me "like that". She will make comments to me like "why cant i find a nice guy like you" ..... WTF !!!!! ...lmao
Im tired of being her shoulder to cry on. I play my cards right and yet she goes after the a**holes like always.
Help me get out of the nice guy role. If not with her than for any chick i meet in the future.
Nice Guys DO finish last
Thanks
DJ's

The fact that you're writing this means that you didn't "play your cards right", in fact you probably threw away all your high cards with your p*ssy behavior.

Why can't people understand that it's ok to be evil? Even the theme of this site is to be a "truly good guy" not a nice guy and not a jerk... I don't know about you but I would much rather be a jerk, besides, evil will serve you way better than good ever did.

 

[Cremasta]

Next time you two are together and she says "Why can't I find a nice guy like you...". Just tell her, "I'm not a nice guy because in about 3 seconds I'm gonna jump you". If she doesn't run away in that time or give you absolutely no doubt she isn't interested, then grab her and kiss her.

I can only tell you that this has worked for me recently with 3 different girls.
Given recent events, I'm developing this theory that whatever a girl's IL is in you, double that and that is the chance you have of making out with her... if you are willing to take the lead.

 

[TesuqueRed]

You have before you a perfect, text-book case on how you get to LJBF--complete with sleeping sexless in the same bed!

Seriously, though, you are so non-threatening sexually that she can sleep next to you and feel safe and not vulnerable with you.

And she probably is deriving some kick from being a c0ck tease--laying there--snuggling with you, I'll bet--knowing you're completely worked up, wouldn't dare make a move, the frustration level is cranked to max and held in check by the desperation level equally cranked to the max. It's a testament to her powers, and I bet she secretly enjoys it.

Yes, dude, she's that evil.

But I got off track. This is a perfect, text book example for you. You can and must go back and figure out everything you did that lead to this. You can remember how it felt like and what results you got. Then try to imagine how you would do it differently and how that would feel. This is important, because this is what you try on the next girl that comes your way.

In the meantime, you need to pull back seriously from this girl and get out and meet new ones. She'll trip out because she doesn't want to lose everything you're giving her for free. Expect her to do something to entice you back--and--evil her--she'll know what you most want and will tease you with it. You can't crack or you're dead.

 

[Brak]

Thanks guys, you all have good points.
I need to stop being there for her every minute of every day like i have been. Whenever she calls.....i answer.....Whenever she wants to come over.....i say sure.
I thinking i may be to far gone into the nice guy role to pull it out with this chick. It might be time to just cut my loses and move on with a new attitude ?
Also i know this is gonna make me seem like the worlds largest p***y ......but a couple nights ago she was all over me and i did not make a move b/c i thought she was just teasing me and basically being "evil" like mentioned. However the next day she told me that if i had made a move that she would of had no problem following through with how things were going.
BUT...she did say not to worry cuz she has no doubt the chance will come up again.

.
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.
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wait, i cant hang around this chick just waiting for her to give me the chance.....i need to create more oppurtunities with other chicks

 

[Krassus]

Am i missing something? This girl just made it clear to you, possibly as clear as any female ever has, that she wants to sleep with you. And you come here asking what you should do? I'm sorry, but there is a very clear difference between being new to the game and being stupid.

 

[Brak]

Originally posted by Krassus
Am i missing something? This girl just made it clear to you, possibly as clear as any female ever has, that she wants to sleep with you. And you come here asking what you should do? I'm sorry, but there is a very clear difference between being new to the game and being stupid.

Oh i agree i was stupid, thats a given.
I just dont know if i should continue with her how i have been. Just being paitent and play the nice guy role, or should i try and turn things around on her and pull off the a**hole role and hopefully make her want me even more ?
I had her right in front of me ready to go and i let her slip her away. When the next time comes around im going to take charge and show her a real man and not some sesitive p**sy like i have been.
I know it will work, ...why ? Cuz she told me it would
she is coming over again tonight, Ill let you guys know how it goes.

 

[StockTrader]

I think it's possible to straddle the fence between nice guy and someone she is sexually attracted to.

1st-Turn up the kino my friend! Touch her. Make sure she knows you aren't afraid of her. Become comfortable with her physically. If she shows off a new hair color to you, run your hands through her hair. Give her great hugs. Take a few chances. These moves don't have to be super bold. They need to communicate, I am comfortable with you.

2nd-Tease her, bust her balls. Again, you need balls to get into her pu$$y. Don't always be available. Give her the joy of missing you.

3rd-Make her feel a gut level attraction for you sexually. Nice doesn't equal gut level attraction. C&F, even light, get her emotions involved. Women can feel gut level attraction (the old line..."god...I don't know why...but you're turning me on" hehe) when they are in the presence of guy with confidence. If she playfully hits you, that's a solid signal.

You can still be "nice", you don't have to be a jerk, but set some boundaries for yourself.

 

[Brak]

Thanks stocktrader
She came over here and we went and hung out and came back over to my place. Nothing happened between us and honestly i can say that it doesnt bother me now.
I actually had a long talk with an ex g/f just before she came over. I pretty much did with my ex what this chick is doing to me. The only prob with the Ex is that im not 100% attracted to her like i am this new chick. Im thinking im gonna have to ditch the new girl and hang with my ex more and more. Cuz quit honestly she is 100x cooler than the chick thats giving me a headache...lol
So as of right now, im saying "Fvck It" with the new chick. Im gonna hang with the Ex who i know likes me "like that". If the oppurtunity comes up again with the new girl i may have to just tell her to get lost, i dont want your sh*t anyways...not worth it

 

[Cremasta]

Brak, you've just opened a whole new can of worms...

Beware talking to the ex, I am in that deep dark hole right now having seeing my ex after a 10 month break and have had to give myself mental slappings for considering getting back with her... The ex can totally mess up your game.

As for the 'headache girl', use her for practice, sharpen your skills and if the opportunity for some action comes up then take it.

 

[Brak]

Originally posted by Cremasta
Brak, you've just opened a whole new can of worms...

Beware talking to the ex, I am in that deep dark hole right now having seeing my ex after a 10 month break and have had to give myself mental slappings for considering getting back with her... The ex can totally mess up your game.

As for the 'headache girl', use her for practice, sharpen your skills and if the opportunity for some action comes up then take it.

I actually like being with the ex though. I just needed a break from her and wanted to have a little variety i suppose. However the Ex was never a headache or anything. There are no reasons why i shouldnt hook up with her again.
Also the ex lives out of town so i will have more freedom and space than most relationships.
Plus the ex is one hell of a freak in the sac

 

[Brak]

well i just ditched the new chick,
Told her that she wasnt worth my time and good luck.

 

[Porky]

I personally think it's okay to be a nice guy. In fact, being a nice guy gives you a lot more mystery and makes you more surprising than if you were constantly a jerk.

Sometimes when I'm sitting with some females, who all think I'm very cool and "nice," I'll say something that throws them completely off. For instance, if they're talking about some guy, I'll say something along the lines of "Oh, Alex? He's a ****ing *****, I ****ing hate him so much. he's a stupid piece of **** with no balls."

They never hear me talk like this, but I say it with a straight face and it gets me some enthusiastic looks.

Nice guys also tend to be afraid to show when they're mad, and this is a huge AFC tendency. If a girl pisses you off for whatever reason, let her know by being unavailable to her. One time this girl asked me if I wanted to hang out, then ditched me (we're just friends, but still a good example). I blocked her for two days, and that weekend she called me twice wanting to hang out/see me.

 

[Brak]

i know what ya mean,
Its just the type of person i am. Im not an a**hole like some people are. Im just naturally a nice guy. When i told this new chick to basically get lost it made me feel horible about it.
and i still feel bad, Im not looking for just a peice of a** like alot of people are.

 

[Porky]

Well, I don't exactly see why you told her to get lost...

And to not come off as a nice guy you don't have to be mean to the girls. Just be a little rude or disrespectful at opportune moments.

 

[Brak]

I see what ya mean,
however i got tired of hanging around a chick that complains about never finding a guy to treat her right. Im like right there when she does this and she has no interest in me other than being the person she *****es to about guys.
I got to much going for me to hang out with a chick that doesnt give a crap.

On to the next

 

[Cremasta]

Fair enough then Brak, your time is precious.

Just a quick question... You said she never showed any interest in you. Did you ever show any real interest in her? Not the 'we are good friends and I like talking to you' interest, but more the 'Id like to jump you' interest.

Most people here I am sure would attest to the fact that women will rarely make the first move. That's usually our job. There's no getting past it, that's just the way it is.

Oh well, like you said... On to the next!

 

[Krassus]

Alright, so lets recap this:

- this girl kept telling you how much she needs a guy
- she slept in your bed and you did nothing
- she told you that she wanted to have sex with you
- she told you that she would give you another chance to do so

And you keep saying that she's wasting your time, has no interest in you, etc? Which of the above-mentioned actions did you derive that from? She did everything imaginable, short of taking your pants off, to sleep with you. You on the other hand, did nothing. That's the way it looks from where i'm standing.

 

[Brak]

Originally posted by Krassus
Alright, so lets recap this:

- this girl kept telling you how much she needs a guy
- she slept in your bed and you did nothing
- she told you that she wanted to have sex with you
- she told you that she would give you another chance to do so

And you keep saying that she's wasting your time, has no interest in you, etc? Which of the above-mentioned actions did you derive that from? She did everything imaginable, short of taking your pants off, to sleep with you. You on the other hand, did nothing. That's the way it looks from where i'm standing.

She goes back and forth all the time,
However 90% of the time she tells me that we are only friends and nothing will ever come of it. She knows for a fact that i am very interested in her.
She has said many times that all the guys she likes just dont like her. I will say to her...well you know i like you and you know i would treat you better than all these other guys. Her reply to that is always the same "I know you would but its just not the same"
Another example is when she saying things like "nobody wants to be with me......well other than you "
Ive only known her for about a month or two and i have hung with her all the time. Except for about a week when she tried hooking up with some dude but he got what he wanted and ditched her. Then she tried to get me to hook her up with my best friend but he has no interest in her, even though i did try to get them to hook up......lol,
Im just tired of being the nice guy and doing everything right and "gentlemanly" and her never showing interest. Im not cut out to just hit it and quit it, thats not what i want to do and she knows that.