Right, before I get going on this one I figure it’s my first post here so I’ll introduce myself. The names Plan-D (not literally of course), and I've been reading the threads here and other similar forums for some time, before I get going I’ll give you a bit of background, ill try to be as succinct as possible...
About 2 years ago I stumbled upon the PUA/DJ community after getting banged up by a chick for the first time, she was incredibly hot at them time and I was young, perhaps a 9.5 then, today I’d give her an 8, possibly - I’d always been the one on top so to speak, always in control in relationships before and I didn't like it, at all. But, alas, I figured it happens to everyone and you learn your lesson, or at least try - that’s what life’s about after all?
Anyway, I soaked everything up I possibly could, read all the main books and practically every thread I could lay my innocent eyes on and it worked, I wasn't the worst AFC in the world by any means, but I was definitely still one and everyone can better themselves – always – so I did. Back then I improved my game, changed my lifestyle, and got on with things - got myself into a pretty good position with the opposite sex, nothing prolific, quality over quantity has always appealed to me and it's been steady away ever since, I hadn’t dabbled here for a good half year since I last got through Styles book... anyway, back to today and as to why I’m finally going to give something back to the community - get a little advise perhaps, and hopefully someone can learn from my mistake(s)... :trouble:
To (try) cut a long story short I met am HB8 through a mate and developed a severe case of oneitis, yeh, I’m spending far too much time thinking about her and were talking through all hours on msn; this is before we’ve even been anywhere done anything...
Then, randomly, I’m out midweek at this club and she’s there, my games pretty good so I fire it up... I avoid her, avoid eye contact and play the room show some status in the full knowledge she’s good to go, later on we 'accidentally' bump into each other in the toilet (shared/transgender? toilets... the best) straight away I take her to one side and get to work, using the photo routine on my phone I tell her some funny stories and create the social hierarchy, as the night goes on I tell her its ok if she comes back to mine, but only for an hour or so and she agrees, great stuff! Back at mine the deal is sealed and I send her home in a taxi and get an hours sleep before hooking myself up to a drip of red bull the next day… perfect? Well…
Here’s where I get lost... now I know she like me, I like her - it’s all good right? Wrong, now I’ve put this girl up on a pedestal in my head, I find myself telling a mate she’s a 10 'in my eyes' and we continue to talk each night, about her problems and what we had done through the day - alarm bells are sounding but I cant help myself, I’m for lack of a better word infatuated... this is where it goes tits up. :rockon:
As you gathered I like this girl, usually I’d play it cool, push/pull away and watch things fall into place, but no. Last time we spoke, I got a funny feeling, one every guy on here knows about she’s telling me everything about her, I’m asking, caring - no less – Yeh, I’m becoming the 'emotional tampon' - you can see it coming, and she says it, some thing like this 'you know, your really nice to talk to, its nice to have a friend to talk to about these things'. (Hold on it gets worse) So, there it is, were talking online at this point and I’m not happy with this, I know this is bad and I make my excuses and leave... Later last night she texts me with some random bollocks about how she can't sleep, still seemingly keen, lots of kisses etc and I've had enough at this point of not knowing the score, are we just mates or is there more here? I send her a text, a long one, saying I like her, and I’d like to know if we can be anything more than friends.
I wake up this morning, check my sent items and nearly strangle myself, wtf!? Surely a near classical example of AFC behavior? Yeh, I regressed, I tossed everything I had learnt in the bin and made every mistake possible, have I ****ed this up and got myself in ‘friend’ zone, what should I do?? :kick:
My options as I see it. Walk away – the hardest thing to do I guess, accept my mistakes and forget the past month? Or attempt a recovery, some how… I need to get in the dominant position, the DJ position and play it my way… it’s not in my nature anymore to accept failure, this I just another challenge right, I was thinking of letting it rest for a bit, perhaps send her a text telling her to ignore last nights???
Come on guys, give an ailing player a hand – help him back on his feet!
Plan-D
About 2 years ago I stumbled upon the PUA/DJ community after getting banged up by a chick for the first time, she was incredibly hot at them time and I was young, perhaps a 9.5 then, today I’d give her an 8, possibly - I’d always been the one on top so to speak, always in control in relationships before and I didn't like it, at all. But, alas, I figured it happens to everyone and you learn your lesson, or at least try - that’s what life’s about after all?
Anyway, I soaked everything up I possibly could, read all the main books and practically every thread I could lay my innocent eyes on and it worked, I wasn't the worst AFC in the world by any means, but I was definitely still one and everyone can better themselves – always – so I did. Back then I improved my game, changed my lifestyle, and got on with things - got myself into a pretty good position with the opposite sex, nothing prolific, quality over quantity has always appealed to me and it's been steady away ever since, I hadn’t dabbled here for a good half year since I last got through Styles book... anyway, back to today and as to why I’m finally going to give something back to the community - get a little advise perhaps, and hopefully someone can learn from my mistake(s)... :trouble:
To (try) cut a long story short I met am HB8 through a mate and developed a severe case of oneitis, yeh, I’m spending far too much time thinking about her and were talking through all hours on msn; this is before we’ve even been anywhere done anything...
Then, randomly, I’m out midweek at this club and she’s there, my games pretty good so I fire it up... I avoid her, avoid eye contact and play the room show some status in the full knowledge she’s good to go, later on we 'accidentally' bump into each other in the toilet (shared/transgender? toilets... the best) straight away I take her to one side and get to work, using the photo routine on my phone I tell her some funny stories and create the social hierarchy, as the night goes on I tell her its ok if she comes back to mine, but only for an hour or so and she agrees, great stuff! Back at mine the deal is sealed and I send her home in a taxi and get an hours sleep before hooking myself up to a drip of red bull the next day… perfect? Well…
Here’s where I get lost... now I know she like me, I like her - it’s all good right? Wrong, now I’ve put this girl up on a pedestal in my head, I find myself telling a mate she’s a 10 'in my eyes' and we continue to talk each night, about her problems and what we had done through the day - alarm bells are sounding but I cant help myself, I’m for lack of a better word infatuated... this is where it goes tits up. :rockon:
As you gathered I like this girl, usually I’d play it cool, push/pull away and watch things fall into place, but no. Last time we spoke, I got a funny feeling, one every guy on here knows about she’s telling me everything about her, I’m asking, caring - no less – Yeh, I’m becoming the 'emotional tampon' - you can see it coming, and she says it, some thing like this 'you know, your really nice to talk to, its nice to have a friend to talk to about these things'. (Hold on it gets worse) So, there it is, were talking online at this point and I’m not happy with this, I know this is bad and I make my excuses and leave... Later last night she texts me with some random bollocks about how she can't sleep, still seemingly keen, lots of kisses etc and I've had enough at this point of not knowing the score, are we just mates or is there more here? I send her a text, a long one, saying I like her, and I’d like to know if we can be anything more than friends.
I wake up this morning, check my sent items and nearly strangle myself, wtf!? Surely a near classical example of AFC behavior? Yeh, I regressed, I tossed everything I had learnt in the bin and made every mistake possible, have I ****ed this up and got myself in ‘friend’ zone, what should I do?? :kick:
My options as I see it. Walk away – the hardest thing to do I guess, accept my mistakes and forget the past month? Or attempt a recovery, some how… I need to get in the dominant position, the DJ position and play it my way… it’s not in my nature anymore to accept failure, this I just another challenge right, I was thinking of letting it rest for a bit, perhaps send her a text telling her to ignore last nights???
Come on guys, give an ailing player a hand – help him back on his feet!
Plan-D
