HELP! Girl says things are moving too fast!

[iluvathar]

Heres the thing. I started actively chasing girls. Went to a local disco after like 6 beers. I see a super nice girl in front alone. I go talk to her bla bla bla... She goes bla bla bla, she says shes tired, I take her to my place, we dont have sex, she gives me BJ, HJ... I drive her home next day. I call after 2 days(so she doesnt feel bad, after leaving with me after 15 min), I ask her if she wants to meet up in 2 days, she says yes. After 2 days, I call her and irs raining like hell, I ask her you wanna go out for a drink, or you prefer to come to my place. She says she wants to come to my place, I have sex with her, and later she leaves and says shell come back in 2 days and that I should come to her place sometime too. Now after 2 days I call her to recheck our date, and she says she has time, but she needs a COUPLE OF DAYS to think about everything and that things are moving to fast for her. WTF should that me? Am I getting dumped? Or is she insecure about herself... Either way not a good sign. So my plan now is to wait like 4 days and ask her out on some trip instead of coming to my house.

Im new here, sry about the long post. Damn I hate to love.

 

[zekko]

Generally speaking, I think seeing a new girl every 2 days is a little too frequent. I would think that once a week when you start out is plenty often enough. You need to give her a little time to miss you and look forward to seeing you again when you are building up attraction and rapport.

 

[TheException]

she needs a COUPLE OF DAYS to think about everything and that things are moving to fast for her. WTF should that me? Am I getting dumped? Or is she insecure about herself... Either way not a good sign. So my plan now is to wait like 4 days and ask her out on some trip instead of coming to my house.

I think thats the wrong play. I wouldnt text her until she hits you up(which is sounds like she will because her interest level seems high). With only the evidence given id suggest she doesnt want to feel like a s1ut for sleeping with you so fast. It also is a dual headed monster....because its also a sh1t test. You fail if you come off as needy and overbearing. Just give her the space to miss you and how awesome the time is you spend together. Trust me...ive messed up many a plates by being needy and over pursing. Interest is already established....just dont mess it up.

 

[Uncharted]

Yup just wait it out. She will contact you. She is interested in you but she wants you to think she is LTR material instead of a FB. Go game some other girls in the meantime to get your mind off her.

 

[iluvathar]

So Zekko, how long should I give her, before I call her? (if she doesn't contact sooner) The last girl I liked so much, just came to my house and stayed for a week (she was 35, this one is 24..). Man if I semi like em its so easy, I just fell for her...

Its raining like hell, so I cant go out chasing girls and clubs will be empty too. I am seeing two other girls, but just dont feel like calling them.

 

[zekko]

So Zekko, how long should I give her, before I call her? (if she doesn't contact sooner) The last girl I liked so much, just came to my house and stayed for a week (she was 35, this one is 24..).

I don't really believe in hard and fast rules, which is why I said generally speaking. But given her comments, it sounded like she was starting to feel a little smothered. I would normally interpret what she said as a drop in interest, but it actually does sound like things were moving kind of fast, so I would take the more optimistic view. I think your original thought of four days sounds pretty good.

 

[iluvathar]

Good, and ask her if she wants to go on a one day trip to nature? So she doesnt fell like FB...

 

[iluvathar]

Girl is a ho, act accordingly

Actually I think its been a long time she had serious relationship or sex, but yea I agree, they all are

 

[TillTheEndOfTime]

Girls WANT to move fast if they're interested in you.

"Moving too fast" = stall tactics when she's not that into you. She wants to keep you around, but she's not sure what to do with you yet.

I hope you're not planning on waiting for this one.

 

[floydb25]

You're doing too much initiating, pursuing, and scheduling... that's the problem. You're not letting her chase YOU after you get the ball rolling, and set up the initial date, etc. As well, you're too interested in seeing her every time you contact her. There's no anticipation, missing you, trying to see you, etc.

I don't know if it's too much moving too fast as it is coming on too strong and pushing too hard... but girls usually categorize everything into one. But no challenge is no good.

She's also probably a slut, if all your interactions are physical. She comes over, you bang. You wait a couple days, call her, bang. That's all I see happening. You sound like **** buddies. Guess who is into such a situation? Mmmmmhmmmm....

 

[iluvathar]

Well was just twice, I fought its better to call her after a one night stand. Fought it was normal to ask her over, since she showed so much interest... And her intent wasnt sex when she came (or she hid it very well). I dont know, now after a couple of hours I think Im getting over her. Still would like to make the best move, was just asking for advice.

Hmm fought men and women like fvuck buddies, so I dont get the point

 

[floydb25]

Well, we obviously don't have all the details of what happened prior, etc. But one thing that sticks out... you THOUGHT showing interest in her after she was "clearly" interested was the best thing to do. This is where a lot of folk mess up, by thinking it's ok to reciprocate or initiate after things go smoothly for a while. They find out that this is a big negative. Don't ever assume or think things are smooth sailing, and it's all in the bag, and you can start chasing and showing interest - just because they do. That's when they LOSE interest.

Chicks like to chase, be challenged, compete, conquer...

 

[iluvathar]

Hmm yea but isnt like bad not calling her after one night stand? As she can think I just wanted to fvck her? Or was it bad that I said Im available so soon. My line should be like, it was really fun, Im busy this week, Ill call you? Or what are you saying? And if she is at my place of course I have an interest in fvcking her.

 

[Ringleader41]

Only do what 1/2 % of the effort she does

 

[writhe666]

in the same boat with another chick, except we actually dug each others vibe and had mutual friends etc etc.

She feels like a slut bro for giving it up, just kickback and wait for her to hit you up. Don't think about it, give 2 or three weeks no contact then hit her up, tease her when you do...Keep it light, im assuming you set rules right after you ****ed her right?