HELP! gf, prom, another guy

[whooshking]

Hello,

Recently my girlfriend has been taken drum lessons everyday afterschool with a certain guy. Me and my girlfriend are both juniors and we go to different schools. They have been getting pretty close in conversations. However, my and my girlfriend are facing the problem of communication with our relationship. She seems to be too busy for me and possibly doesnt have the time to think of our "love" or even about me. Recently, i had a very serious talk to her about our relationship and she told me that the same guy who was teaching her drum lesson asked her to the prom...! my first reaction was "NO" and i started feel really really sad and angry. She then quoated what he said," i would really really like if you could do the favor and be my date to the prom"... The thing is he knows already that she has a boyfriend. We already planned on going to each others prom for a very long time now. As we talked about the situation even further her main excuse was "its just a favor, we are just friends, theres nothing to worry about". In my mentality im thinking prom is the most important dance in highschool. I would want to be with her in going to our FIRST prom. And if she did go with him, the 2nd time around wouldnt be as special as the first. Although she does say it will be more special because its with me, but still the fact remains that my gf which we have been going out for about 2 years considers this over me. She says why dont i " TRUST " her in this...but just the thought of PROM being special, i wouldnt care if its some other dance. I dont really know what to do or what to think? am i being too projective and jelous? is the situation on her side? please HELP!!!

 

[Disconnect]

She says why dont i " TRUST " her in this

Because she is going to prom with another guy?? That's a pretty obvious reason.

From what you typed, she seems to be getting a lot more than drum lessons out of the deal. But that's just a speculation.

Let her go to prom with that guy, but find another hot(ter) girl to go with.

 

[wavejams007]

Dude, this is two-sided. If She doens't go any farthur then friends with this other dude, then by not acting protective or jealous, U develope more trust between the two of you. On the other hand, if she does get into something with the other guy, that no be good for U. So if U decide to let her go with no problem, then U should tell her that If anything should happen, that U want to be informed first so tht U go your seperate way with no sense of being cheated.

Another option is to tell her that if she goes, U will go with someone else, and then U should go with someone, preferably really hot, to make your girlfriend jealous and want to stay with U. Just some thoughts.

 

[A&F Brand Cologne]

Prom is the single most important dance of your high school career. Junior prom less so than senior prom, but the point still stands.

If she's seriously considering going with this guy, then forget about her. You are being played and you only half-realize it. Drumboy knows she has a boyfriend and should therefore assume that you'll be going with her to prom, but he clearly has an agenda here. She should respect you enough to say NO to this guy and to stunt their growing friendship.

how would she feel if the situation were reversed? she would be rightfully angry with you. don't let her set a double standard.

We already planned on going to each others prom for a very long time now.

she has a date already. if she's thinking of breaking her plans with you, then cut her out of your life.

 

[TonyTheTigerOI]

Shes tree branching from you to him. If she says "why cant you trust me?" reply, "I do trust you. But it seems prom is more important to me than it is to you, so Im going to find a girl who feels the same about it as I do." She is about to leave you for him, or at least test the waters on the other side of the fence, dont put up with her crap.

 

[Jerky Boi]

Originally posted by TonyTheTigerOI
Shes tree branching from you to him. If she says "why cant you trust me?" reply, "I do trust you. But it seems prom is more important to me than it is to you, so Im going to find a girl who feels the same about it as I do." She is about to leave you for him, or at least test the waters on the other side of the fence, dont put up with her crap.

Agreed completely. I mean dude, if you made plans with her a long time ago about this, she shouldn't have changed them. Since she did, all that really tells me is that she thinks she's going to have a better time with this guy and doesn't value your relationship a whole lot. The best thing to do is just tell her you're going to take someone else to prom as well..heck, if you even wanted to make her jealous enough, take one of her really good friends that always works. Girls can always dish it out but they can NEVER take it when the tables are turned. GL to ya

 

[Kevon]

Originally posted by Jerky Boi
Agreed completely. I mean dude, if you made plans with her a long time ago about this, she shouldn't have changed them. Since she did, all that really tells me is that she thinks she's going to have a better time with this guy and doesn't value your relationship a whole lot. The best thing to do is just tell her you're going to take someone else to prom as well..heck, if you even wanted to make her jealous enough, take one of her really good friends that always works. Girls can always dish it out but they can NEVER take it when the tables are turned. GL to ya

do whatever it takes to get a girl from her school to go to their prom with you.

And make sure you have a better time than gf does

Or just next her. If she is doing that the relationship is close to toast

 

[Climax]

-------------------- My thoughts on this.... --------------------

Originally posted by whooshking
Hello,

Recently my girlfriend has been taken drum lessons everyday afterschool with a certain guy. Me and my girlfriend are both juniors and we go to different schools. They have been getting pretty close in conversations. However, my and my girlfriend are facing the problem of communication with our relationship. She seems to be too busy for me and possibly doesnt have the time to think of our "love" or even about me. Recently, i had a very serious talk to her about our relationship and she told me that the same guy who was teaching her drum lesson asked her to the prom...! my first reaction was "NO" and i started feel really really sad and angry. She then quoated what he said," i would really really like if you could do the favor and be my date to the prom"... The thing is he knows already that she has a boyfriend. We already planned on going to each others prom for a very long time now. As we talked about the situation even further her main excuse was "its just a favor, we are just friends, theres nothing to worry about". In my mentality im thinking prom is the most important dance in highschool. I would want to be with her in going to our FIRST prom. And if she did go with him, the 2nd time around wouldnt be as special as the first. Although she does say it will be more special because its with me, but still the fact remains that my gf which we have been going out for about 2 years considers this over me. She says why dont i " TRUST " her in this...but just the thought of PROM being special, i wouldnt care if its some other dance. I dont really know what to do or what to think? am i being too projective and jelous? is the situation on her side? please HELP!!!

I have dealt with women like these... This girl is your typical attention wh0re! And if she cannot respect you enough to NOT go with him, then I suggest you tell her to go f*ck herself and never speak to you again! I'm sick of girl like that that think they can do wtf they want to do and get away with it! Its got nothing to do with you being insecure, its about the concept of her having a bf and going to the prom with a DIFFERENT guy, that’s bullsh!t! Actually, if I were u, I would tell her to go f*ck herself NOW, because her just trying to convince you to let her go without her not wanting to go with him is enough. This girl will only stay with you until she finds someone "better" than you... and guess what, It looks like she might have found that guy, drummer-boy. Your girl has no morals, and as hard as it might be, I think that its time to move on. If she can’t respect your wishes, then u need to find yourself a girl that WILL. Prom is still a while to go, so end it with her NOW, and find yourself a decent OTHER girl to go with you, and leave ur "gf" with drummer-boy.

I know 2 years is a long time, but your gf CLEARLY doesn’t put as much value into your relationship as you do.. actually, I don’t think she puts much value into it at all!

What u need to do now:

You need to take her aside and tell her that if she even considers going with drummer-boy to his prom, then the 2 of you are over! .. then see how she reacts! She will probably make dozens of excuses like "we are only gonna go as friends" etc, but DO NOT give in, say that u have said what you had to say, and that if she cannot respect your wishes, then its over, and that you will find a girl that WILL respect your wishes. Make her KNOW that you will NOT put up with her bull****, and if she decides to end it over Mr Drummer-boy, then it was inevitable that she would leave u for him, sooner, or later.

Do what u gotta do, I know, it will be hard, but if ending it and moving on is what u need to do, then do it, but DO IT NOW! I went through the same kinda thing in the past where my gf wanted to go to the movies and then dinner with one of my friends that was head over heels for her, and she gave me the same excuses of "do you trust me" and "its just as friends, you have nothing to worry about" and other bullsh!t like that.... But i never gave in and eventually after a while I got fed up and I ended it. At the moment she wants to get back together, but I told her that is she is willing to grow up and stop being an AW, then I might consider it (seeing that I still do care a lot for her)... But now if we DO get back together, then I have the power and she will never try to repeat her stupid behavior again. And if u end it with her and she REALLY cares and loves for you, she will try get u back, so maybe a break-up will be the best option for you right now, because it will show you her REAL self, will she try win you back, or will she run to drummer-boy? hmm...

Anyways... that’s just my 2c on girls like this.. I hope u make the right decision and that all works out for you in the future, with, or withOUT this girl.


Laterz...

 

[anile8]

get a sexy chick to go with you, and throw that back in her face
see how she likes it

 

[LikRetsam]

I have decided to delete my reply because stories like these piss me off.

She's not interested in you, move along.

 

[LikRetsam]

Originally posted by anile8
get a sexy chick to go with you, and throw that back in her face
see how she likes it

Silence you.

 

[PerfectCell]

A girl asked me to go to prom with her and she already has a boyfriend haha

 

[whooshking]

what happens if this guy is gay?... does that change anything i mean. If she is hanging around him alot, and is spending her valueable time with him rather than me. This guy is a model too.

 

[Climax]

AW/$LUT/B!TCH/$***/RUBBISH ---> GET RID OF HER! YOU CAN DO BETTER!

Originally posted by whooshking
what happens if this guy is gay?... does that change anything i mean. If she is hanging around him alot, and is spending her valueable time with him rather than me. This guy is a model too.

It doesnt matter if he is gay or not, its the concept of your GIRLFRIEND going to the prom with another guy.. another HOT guy! Think about it.... You think that if this guy WASNT gay that she would say "no" to him? I dont think so! And how do you REALLY know if he is gay or not? How do you know that she isnt cheating on you WITH him already and by telling you that he is gay she is elading you to believe that nothing os going on between the 2 of them? And even if he IS gay, your girl seems to show more interest in the MODEL guy than she does you, AND she is WILLING to go to the prom with him when she KNOWS that u dont like it....

My conclusion:
Your "girl" is a b!tch and you need to tell her to f*ckoff asap. As soon as she will find someone "better" than you, she will leave you... Dont wait for that to happen, LEAVE HER NOW! She has NO respect for you, she pays more attention to this model guy than she does to you, she wants to go to his prom, she is probably cheating on you with him, and by the fact that she is doing this with HIM, shows that she WILL do it with other guys in the future, which will lead to her probably dumping you for someone "better" or "hotter" than you. If I were you, i would tell her to choose, either never speak to HIM again, or never speak to YOU again... then lets see how much she REALLY "loves" you


Laterz...

 

[Jerky Boi]

I've never really been a big fan of ultimatems, but in this case it seems like the best alternative. Do what you gotta do

 

[Maeisgood]

Don't you wish duels were still legal? I do.

Killing him would do two things: 1) He's gone 2) killing someone is manly.

 

[Stratocaster]

Well, its Thursday now so I don't know what you've done already but..


Whats happening is a sign that her feeligns are starting to fade. Happened with a girlfriend of mine in the past. She was "real busy" alot. Some nights she would make up some excuse like "well I have to practice for dance at 6"..... I was like uhhh ok so an hour long practice means your busy the whole night.

Listen buddy, if she really likes you, she will find time to be with you. She won't be busy all the time.

As stated before, you NEED to issue an ultimadum (sp). Tell her if she won't respect your relationship that you arent going to waste your time. She will either get like sad and stuff and be scared to lose you and apologize and whatnot. Or she will say "I don't know" <<<-- If she says those words its time for you to mercilessly dump her. Sounds to me like you need to dump this chick before she dumps you, cause shes just waiting to do it. Sounds childish but trust me, you gotta preserve your pride.

It might be worth it to dump her and find a different girl for prom. Cause it doesn't sound like you two are going to last long after that, and its definetly not worth waiting to dump her till after prom.

Peace bro.

 

[aBAzLLnA]

Mistake one: In a damn relationship, you better be able to trust the other party dealing with the opposite sex, otherwise, the relationship blows.

Mistake two: When talking about matters involving the relationship, always keep your cool NO MATTER WHAT. Stay in control.

Mistake three: You've invested TOO much of yourself in the relationship. Only delve farther in when you're SURE that the other party will do the same. What you've got now is an uneven balance. Always remain semi-detached so problems like these don't seem to piss you off.

Finally,

Mistake four: You give a ****. Why??

 

[Royal Elite]

Listen you need to talk to her, and let her know you feel disrepected by this. Favor or no favor all that is irrelivant. If after that she goes with him you already know what it is, but know she has some type of feeling for him. How you should deal with that fact is up to you, but know that this is "a date" and she knows it and he knows it and they are just hoping you are too stupid to realize it. Those are the facts, now you have to decided if you can deal with the disrespect or not, because this is clear cut disrespect and sneakiness and don't let her guilt you into thinking other wise. This is not about "trust" this is about respect.

 

[Jerky Boi]

Ya know, it would be different if you guys didn't have any plans already but the fact that you had made plans and that she chose to go with him over you, makes me kind of wonder.


I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but her interest in you is fading. I don't care if I don't know her or even know the whole situation, just hearing that story makes me sick. I've seen it happen before a million times. They all think what they're doing is harmless. I mean, I'm going to my senior prom with my girlfriend. If she out of the blue told me she was gonna go with someone else because he asked her, I'd drop her in a second. That has to be the most disrespectful utmost undeniable way of showing that her interest in you is fading. Go with the ultimadum. It's obviously your only choice. It's better knowing sooner, than later on in the game. At least if the truth does come out and it's not in your favor, you'll still have time to tackle another date. GL man