Help! Fear of STDS holds me back

[Senzoi]

So I can manage to get girls to hang out and want to hook up but my fear of stds particularly HIV stops me. Even the use of condoms doesn't help if there was foreplay involved ie oral receiving/giving.

I ask their history and proclaim my fear and most say they've been tested but it's hard to know if they're being truthful.

This problem exists for me because of two main reasons:
1. A friend of mine who used to have multiple partners eventually contracted something and
2. As you may know HIV is not detectable for 3 months since last sexual engagement. This makes the possibility that people are unknown carriers walking around infecting others with no knowledge.

Any advice?

Advice? Seems clear to me that you have two options that honor your concerns:

1. Remain abstinent and avoid the worry altogether. You won't die without a woman, and you jump through far less hoops and spend even less money pleasuring yourself to a personalized digital fantasy that, *surprise*, will leave you STD-free, guaranteed!

2. If you choose to play the field, and it is becoming inevitable that you two will be doing the horizontal mambo, ask her for a copy of their her recent, full-scope STD check. If she finds it offensive or is unwilling to either get one taken or share it with you, next her ass.

Good luck.

~ Senzoi

 

[tryst type]

Thanks for the replies guys! It helps reading others' opinions on the matter.

Don't mean to bring up an older thread but now I'm faced with something I'd like advice on.

I've been talking to this really hot older woman. An easy 8. We've already hung out once where it led to making out and a ******* in her car. She's recently invited me over and made it clear she's pretty much going to tear my clothes off the instant I walk inside her house.

Problem: she said she's NEVER been fully screened for stds. Just her annual check ups where it's a visible exam. She's pretty confident she's clean and considers herself a "professional woman who's cautious"

My concern is her previous partners, she's only gone by their sworn word that they're clean as well with no testing to back it up.

What should I do?! Lol. I know I could just throw a rubber on but it's a little unsettling she's never cared to get any real testing done.

 

[SecondHalf]

Thanks for the replies guys! It helps reading others' opinions on the matter.

Don't mean to bring up an older thread but now I'm faced with something I'd like advice on.

I've been talking to this really hot older woman. An easy 8. We've already hung out once where it led to making out and a ******* in her car. She's recently invited me over and made it clear she's pretty much going to tear my clothes off the instant I walk inside her house.

Problem: she said she's NEVER been fully screened for stds. Just her annual check ups where it's a visible exam. She's pretty confident she's clean and considers herself a "professional woman who's cautious"

My concern is her previous partners, she's only gone by their sworn word that they're clean as well with no testing to back it up.

What should I do?! Lol. I know I could just throw a rubber on but it's a little unsettling she's never cared to get any real testing done.

I'm certain you're not the first who's received a Slurpee from her, nor the first to have his cloths torn off.

Of course you're going to throw a rubber on. If this woman has never even bothered to be tested, she's either a total bubble head or is frightened what might be discovered. Likely her ego is preventing her from making smart choices. This chick, does not have it all together! Beware, be safe, wear safe!

SH

 

[Bible_Belt]

http://cdn.randomfunnypicture.com/wp2/wp-content/uploads/2009/12/Just-Do-Her.jpg

 

[Aristippus]

I like how Tiger's look gives it a sense of urgency. hahahaha Like it's a life or death situation.

 

[BMX]

Dear tryst type,

Remember that experience and knowledge are your personal tools used for screening sexual partners. Continue to trust your gut feeling and not give in to paranoia as much. Believe it or not the cougz have given me my biggest scares thus far. My first one was a one night stand on my 21st and my condom slipped off without my knowledge. Didn't help that I was smashed (paid for by all bar patrons that night). Let's just say I finished off inside somewhere I had no intentions of doing so. All was well with my first STD tests.

My 2nd cougar, we banged without protection due to my neglecting to bring condoms over. She had done some heroin several years prior! She was a good fb while it lasted and I wore condoms after the first night. My 2nd STD testing went well. I've screened the others I banged better anyhow and continue to wear protection. Go enjoy some women!!

 

[HBK]

Hey dude,

It's a good thing that your cautious, and you can never be too careful. However, you also need to relax a little too, as this will drive you paranoid. If your very worried about STD's then take your time before jumping into the bedroom. Get to know the girl, build up a good rapport and trust with her. I don't ask women who I have slept with "Do you have any STD's" I usually follow my gut, and separate the good ones from the naughty. This isn't 100%, far from it, but it hasn't failed me yet.

At this age, you should have a good idea from talking to them, and their interests and social circles if they like to have a good time.

 

[Greasy Pig]

My old flatmate used to bang chicks raw all the time.
One day I asked him if he was concerned about STDs and he replied: "Nah, I only root good looking ones".
He got herpes a few months later.

 

[SecondHalf]

My old flatmate used to bang chicks raw all the time.
One day I asked him if he was concerned about STDs and he replied: "Nah, I only root good looking ones".
He got herpes a few months later.

This puzzles me, and has for sometime.
What percentages of woman insist on a condom, or even ask if you have one.
In my experience (in the last 18 months), I've slept with ten women (two physicians) and not one of them asked or would have cared I think.
Is this typical, or maybe just my age group?

SH

 

[Greasy Pig]

I agree SH! I can honestly say that in the vast majority of my ONS I've been the one to stop and grab a condom.
The main argument from these deluded women was: "No, it's ok, I'm on the pill".
WTF??? If I was a chick and some dude I'd just met was going to put a potentially lethal weapon inside me, I'd be insisting on a stainless steel condom, rubber gloves and a bucket of antiseptic.

 

[Colossus]

You can still get herpes with a condom. If you're gonna play, you have to be willing to pay.

Obviously you are more likely, statistically speaking, to get something from a careless encounter. Now of course you could contract something in an LTR as well, but think of each casual encounter as throwing another number in the hat. Sooner or later your number is going to get called.

And I'm not being judgmental----I got herpes early in my last LTR. I dont know if it originated with me or her; we both broke out at the same time. It had been 3-4 months since both of our last partners. And we used condoms. So there you go.

 

[Poonani Maker]

These replies help put into perspective that I'm mostly over thinking/worrying.

Just one question; should I bring up my anxiety on the issue/ask when they've been last tested before letting things escalate physically?

In the past I've had mixed results doing this. Some either appreciate it and feel more comfortable engaging while others take offense. I've noticed though the offended ones usually haven't been tested hah.

I've banged tons, and get tested all the time, and probably have HPV bc 80% of the pop has it (there are 40-50 different strains), I'd imagine most doctors checking you out even have it. You can't really test for it in men. Everything else I'm totally negative on every time. It may be due to the area you live in. I Did hook up with a Methhead (she used needles And smoked, tried to get me to in the midst of hot sweaty sex late July 100 degrees, 90 even at night) middle of last year. We fvcked countless times through June, July, August, part of Sept. I ate her cvnt, stuck fingers (no tongue though) in her as5 everything, nada, nothing. She was probably the Only druggie I, at the time, would feel safe fvcking, cause she was still early 20s and I knew her past, I mean really detailed personal parts like how her cousin raped her when she was 14, etc. I would steer clear if you had knowledge of any girl using though. I just got lucky with her. She'd bareback me before I had the chance to grab a condom, not cool, but how could I stop her?? it was too late, so I just went with the flow. She still contacts/tries to talk to me somehow, even though she now lives in New Mexico with her aunt, and "says" she is clean now (but I don't believe her and never answer).

 

[Colossus]

Not any more than you an say "I eat red meat every day and I've never had heart disease."

EXACTLY.

 

[tryst type]

Soo hooked up with a girl tonight and the condom broke three times! (Each time a new one was used) total exposure unprotected I'd say was about a minute, and of course I'm freaking a bit.

She says she's clean and has same fear as me but as everyone know from me starting this thread I can't help but have a little paranoia set in now :-/

 

[( . )( . )]

Disregard post. Bloody paranoia :nervous:

 

[SecondHalf]

Soo hooked up with a girl tonight and the condom broke three times! (Each time a new one was used) total exposure unprotected I'd say was about a minute, and of course I'm freaking a bit.

She says she's clean and has same fear as me but as everyone know from me starting this thread I can't help but have a little paranoia set in now :-/

Wasn't the ex-junky from your other thread was it?

If so, get tested, then make sure you wrap for 6+ months until you can get tested for HEP+ as a responsible courtesy to others as well as yourself.

SH

 

[tryst type]

Wasn't the ex-junky from your other thread was it?

If so, get tested, then make sure you wrap for 6+ months until you can get tested for HEP+ as a responsible courtesy to others as well as yourself.

SH

No it was someone else. A milf who said she was only with two other guys since her separation and both were protected. But my fear gets the best of me and I've never had a condom break let alone three times! I also think the spermicide gave me a slight rash around the opening of my junk and that's making me worry more since I didn't notice till after.

 

[HalfAddict]

Jesus H...

How the hell do you break three condoms? Are her sugar walls lined with sand paper?

Dude...just wrap your junk... I use Lifestyles extra strength hahahah never broke one of those ****ers yet. Get em for free in the city too.. Got like a hundred of those *****es.

Trist no old man wishes he had less sex.

Go play but play as safe as you can. You ain't gonna live forever.

 

[tryst type]

They were Trojan ultra thins and lets just say I won't be using them again! I'd say total unprotected exposure was about a minute. Now I fear if I caught something especially since I had a rash (feel like it'd increase my chance of getting HIV or something?) hopefully she IS 100% clean as she claims