HELP!!everytime my game is running good i fvcking freeze and **** up!!

[Double]

hey all,

some little background,

i'm now on sosuave for almost 1,5years.....and im more frustrated with girls than ever before!! i was a total skinny extreme shy nerd who didnt understand anything about life/women , life in school was hell blabla then i improved slowly and then i came on sosuave and started to understand things, starting working out improving appearance and stuff. i did this for myself because i always dreamed of being a cool guy but the other reason was ofcourse to get hot chicks/a sweet quality girl.

now i think i pretty much accomplished the "become a cool guy mission" but with chicks.........*sigh*

in the first months in the game i approached some chicks and because i didnt dare to start kissing...some of them started to kiss me but i pretty much froze up everytime instead of escalating things into more. i had great **** me/makeout with me signals with girls i gamed for some time....like them heavy kinoing me and isolating me......but i never was able to start making out, one girl invited me even in her house after she started making out, i run away. okok, i thought i need some time to accept my new selfimage of a "player". but well things only got worse, not better.
one day when i realized i did some heavy self-sabotage, i started going out with the attidude of either i get rejected or i reject myself so i wont get any anyway. i started doing very very few approaches despite im getting plenty of signals nowadays. but i never make anything out of these signals, like one girl giving me a beer, me not even able to talk to her because i froze up. c+f comes naturally to me...and most girls love to eat it up....being submissive to me...the same girls that act dominant/disrespectful with their boyfriends/other chumps......but what does this help me? i cant believe that even most AFC's have more success than me!!!!
it's even worse that i dont have anymore girls starting to make out with me.....probably they perceive me like a dominant man that takes her if he wants to, and not like a shy cute boy who needs some help in getting things started. so again, worse than before!!little do they know about me

so reading this post, you probably think what a ****ing wuss, doesnt have the courage to start kissing/fvcking!!! i first thought the same about me, too, but then i realized whenever i had almost _NO CHANCE_ of success i was VERY brave and offensive...like i fvcked things up with highly interested girls because i froze up instead of going physical.....so they thought i didnt want them and moved on.......and after i heard they have a new bf i was very brave asking them out infront of many people i know etc........

im definately not gay
im not even a virgin so i shouldnt be scared of sex(paid for it)

im so hopeless and clueless now........my attitude is horrible now...though i get many compliments, signs of interest etctec i dont think that im going to have any success so i hardly try anymore.


so there are 3 things i can think of......

1.)selfimage blablabla but i think i should have finally adjusted my selfimage in all this time
being scared of having a reputation of being ******* because of being a player(but that kind of reputation i have kinda anyway) or maybe of sucking in bed because of inexperience but i dont really give a **** anymore because im so frustrated

2.)buying too much into the pook stuff.....girls being only a waste of time in the progress of conquering the world/conquering your own mind......that is possible because im reading and rererererereading pook post for a whole year now...almost everyday....and i do have lots of issues inside me because of my horrible past and fast change....not really knowing who i am etc...so maybe i unconsciously selfsabotage because im afraid of becomming one of those people who only live for ***** and stop improving?

3.)what i know for sure is that im VERY scared/paranoid about getting a girl pregnant because it would **** up my life...im really really scared of it...solutions can be a)sterilize b)going for way older women...


it is really ****ed up, even in my dreams i have great game and stuff but i can never see myself kissclosing/f-closing lol......

im ****ed, all this stuff i learned here is totally useless for me at the moment :[ it doesnt change a thing if im on this site or not



thanks everyone who doesnt flame

 

[Funkopotamus]

W0W! !

Man I really do not know what to say other than this stuff on this site works. Sounds like you just need to learn to like yourself more. How can you expect ladies to like you if you do not even do so?



Ladies are MASTERS of seeing through the bull****. If you have to fake anything you had better know what the fruck you are doing or you will get shot down daily!

I think you have the right tools, but you are just not sure where to go with it.

 

[MindOverMatter]

Hey bro.

Don't be intimidated by women, or what women think about you. 1.) If you want to kiss her, then kiss her how you want it, not how you think she wants it. Same with sex. Every girl is different, do what makes you feel best at first, and eventually you'll pick up things you know they like. Like every other action, the more you do it, the better you get at it. It can be scary starting at the bottom, but eventually if you want it bad enough, you find your way to the top.

I watch your workout progress journal, so think of it in terms of bodybuilding. When you first start working out and you're new to it all, you can feel awkward. You think "am I doing this properly" "I look really small compared to these gorillas" "wow I'm using baby weights, this is pathetic" etc.

All this can make you freeze up and not want to work out. However, if you stay dedicated, you eventually learn the ins and outs of all the exercises, and you build up your strength to the point where you can compete with the best guys in the gym. Eventually you pass them too.

Fears are meant to be conquered man.

2.) Have more faith in yourself. You've come a long way, and I know that once you snap out of this fear, you'll have a lot of success. Like I said, I've followed your journal, and have seen the transformation you've gone through. You're more then enough of a prize for most girls out there.

3.) We're all scared of getting a girl pregnant. I'm scared of dying in a car accident too, but that doesn't mean I walk to work. You hear what I'm saying? Wear a spermicidal condom, and pull out before you bust. And if it's with a girlfriend, tell her you'd feel safer if she was on the pill.

4.) Relax with the Pook stuff. I know he's seen as a god on these forums, but some of his stuff really makes me wonder if the guy knows what he's talking about.

According to him, we should self-improve and not live our lives centered around women. I agree with that 100%, but I disagree with the way he puts it. According to his posts, you'd think women were counterproductive to self-improvement.

That's bullsh!t man. You can work out, be in shape, get a degree, get an awesome job, and be financially secure, while having women in your life.

My point is, self-improvement is great, but don't neglect your social life man. Do you wanna be a super rich guy with 3 phds and no worthwhile memories of his youth?

Socialization is a BIG ASPECT of self-improvement that people do not practice. Get educated, get in shape, do a job that you love and that makes you financially secure, but at the same time, if you see a cute girl that you want to hook up with, go and talk to her man.

It's not a choice between women OR self-improvement, where it's one or the other. You can have both! And some women can push and inspire you to greater levels of self improvement.

5.) Check out this tip I wrote a while back ( http://www.sosuave.net/forum/showthread.php?s=&threadid=77509 ). It should help you with your freezing up.

 

[Lifeforce]

Hey double. I used to freeze up before too. I was the master of getting them interested but when they showed interest I froze up and ran away. The way I was back then and still am to some degree is that no women could like me. As MoM says you are way more prize than most guys.

I had two fears, the first was the fear of success because it didn't fit my image who I was because of the **** in my youth. I changed too quick so I didn't know who I was. I felt I didn't deserve being successful. Seems you are about the same way down too.

The other one was I was afraid to get in too deep because I feared that the interest and success I was having only was a lucky twist of fate and if I found out that a girl was playing with me it all would come crashing down.

Anyway, I get the feeling you are feeling like helpless in a sense. You think too much of what other says and are perhaps afraid to change into who you can be because of what people might think. At the same time I feel the hint of being afraid of success because you say you are brave with women when you feel there are little chance of success. I don't know, but why do you feel, hear or see when you think of yourself having sex. I think this feeling is pretty important. For discovering what is bothering you.

As MoM said, I think the only thing holding you back is your fear and when you snap out of it and decide to do something to get rid of it you will get success.

 

[Double]

Good that i asked you guys to help me with my thread


MindOverMatter,

i have the feeling your post has helped me, i hope it will prove to be true. i will read it several times to assimilate it deep inside. In the last weeks i read some posts from you and i realized that i almost totally agreed with your views in all your serious posts(i did some search on your username). only thing that i beg to differ is the hair- and eyecolour of your ideal woman. yes it's true pook was some kind of god for me, but now i can see some things i disagree with. i immediately ordered 100spermicidal condoms, your analogy with the car accident was fun. do you just do them in your moneybag or somewhere else?i heard they will break in the moneybag....but imo it's ok? i already read your tip about successful first dates, i just dont know of any comedy clubs around here, or people who have been in one? but i will educate myself if these clubs exist here and where they are. maybe the girl doesnt need to relax - but i certainly do. your post made me realize that i approach the situation of getting physical from a position of powerlessness. while my attidude is pretty confident when im talking/playing around with girls, my attidude really suxx azz in regards of kissing/sex.......i want to please them and dont want to make a failure. i think the best thing i can do now is to be true to MYSELF(no need to tell other people) that im pretty new to being physical, but that i will advance fast if im dedicated and allow myself to make some mistakes. thanks bro!




Lifeforce,


hey mate. i feel what ya saying. when i imagine having sex then it's not always with hot girls, pretty often i imagine it with older girls/fat girls, of course not with really ugly girls, but with girls that are WAY under my own looks. prolly i feel worthy to bang them but not worthy of the hot and sweet girls. if i relate the girls thing to bodybuilding terms like MoM said then i should probably start out with not so hot girls. not necessarily starting with ugly girls, but maybe with average looking and then advance from there.
of course i feel some insecurity of what people think of me, i think it's normal when you dont really know who you are. but i do everything to fight the feeling, yesterday i bought an army trouser and a wifebeater shirt.....normally i dont run around like a "thug" but i want to show people and myself "**** you you dont know **** about me!!!"
the thing about fearing that girls only game me i dont think it's the problem. of course that can be true, but im at a point where i dont really care if i get played/used. at least i would get some action! i distance myself emotionally anyway due to my experiences. i often think about leaving this place, although i like my friends, family and stuff, i dont feel that i receive what i deserve and im so unsatisfied that i dont really care about life. i want to approach the situation like i dont give a fvck what you think of me, when things dont work out here im out anyway, moving to a new and better environment, so i dont give a fvck what you think of me for banging average girls or even below average girls. also dont give a **** that you never thought i was able to get hot chicks obsessed with me and stuff. else im outta here fvckfaces and you will miss me while im making friends that think highly of me and getting chicks left and right! but this approach has to be for real.....not just playing a challenge.....I HAVE TO BE WILLING TO LEAVE EVERYTHING AND EVERYBODY BEHIND IF THEY ARE HAVING PROBLEMS WITH THE "NEW" ME!!!!

 

[Double]

Originally posted by Funkopotamus
W0W! !

Man I really do not know what to say other than this stuff on this site works. Sounds like you just need to learn to like yourself more. How can you expect ladies to like you if you do not even do so?



Ladies are MASTERS of seeing through the bull****. If you have to fake anything you had better know what the fruck you are doing or you will get shot down daily!

I think you have the right tools, but you are just not sure where to go with it.

yeh the stuff works but it is very hard work!

i disagree with things like women can see through the bull****/fake. i know this is often said but i have so many examples that prove this wrong in my own experience. girls dont have a 6th sense or anything - as long as you dont tell them you are usually fine off. yes they do recognize bodylanguage very good - but even when they sense your nervousness that doesnt mean you are fvcked. if a girl feels a connection with you or is attracted to you/horny or best of all she feels a connection and is attracted physically....then she can sense your nervousness but STILL WANT TO HAVE SEX/RELATIONSHIP WITH YOU. no need to be perfect if the girl values you!!

 

[Jariel]

I used to suffer the same problem. Even when I was certain a woman wanted me, there was still a doubt in my mind that she would reject my advances.

I wrote a tip some time ago directly related to this problem:

http://www.sosuave.net/forum/showthread.php?s=&threadid=68386

Hope it helps.

 

[Jariel]

Originally posted by MindOverMatter
It's not a choice between women OR self-improvement, where it's one or the other. You can have both! And some women can push and inspire you to greater levels of self improvement.

Great point and you have made me realise something very important today. I've been caught up in self-improvement that I've become complacent with women. I've been letting them chase me, I've rejected them, ignored them, I haven't so much as flirted, but all this time I've been missing out!

Being cool and carefree does seem to lure women in, but what's the point if you don't seize good opportunities when they are there?

 

[Mikers]

I feel your pain double, you could say... im your double. I got into a identity crisis just recently... i didnt want to come off as having this player persona i wanted to stick to who i am originally then i thought if i mack girls thats not going to happen, so i settled with a HB6 and became a real chump slowly over a few months.. i let things slip, for the worse. And i was insecure with my looks... i approached maybe one HB every so often and get rejected and thought no chick deserves to be with me... while the Dj side of me said "you'll bag her WHEN you improve in all areas of life... give it time" My sense of reality was warped.

But i'm starting to accept myself for who i am and improve on what i can, REALISE youth only comes around once, and importantly be the best of myself. I understand now, macking alot of girls and having sex is my natural impulse right now i feel it, im 19 and was trying to commit to someone i just used to fall bakc on. Macking girls will change my personality to a degree i acknowledge it but i cant be scared of success and confidence anymore.

Back in the beginnings I too, like any newbie would, took Pook's posts word for word.
I guess one of the greatest gifts this site can give you is being able to think for yourself.. listen to YOUR OPINION, not what the board has to say. Read what others post but dont let them spoon feed you.
Self love is the key.
Ok that feels better..

Goodnight

 

[Double]

Originally posted by Jariel
Great point and you have made me realise something very important today. I've been caught up in self-improvement that I've become complacent with women. I've been letting them chase me, I've rejected them, ignored them, I haven't so much as flirted, but all this time I've been missing out!

Being cool and carefree does seem to lure women in, but what's the point if you don't seize good opportunities when they are there?

pure wisdom, not some wisecracking DJ doesnt need women ****! im glad you replied jariel, i do remember your tip, just applying is more complicated than reading (and writing) it


yeah mikers


ok we will see what the next weeks bring........can only get better now!

 

[Q-Pid]

Originally posted by Double
...i always dreamed of being a cool guy...

Therein lies your problem. You want to be a player but consider it a dream-like thing you'll never achieve. So you get scared and run away when you do achieve success because your brain is confused at the dream becomign a reality. Remind yourself that you can do it, it is possible, and that it is completely normal.

You have self confidence issues. This is no big deal and you can overcome them yourself.