HELP, don't know what's going on here!

[No Escape]

Hey all,

New here. Maybe you guys can figure this out..tried myself, but obviously can't do it. This is gonna be long, so just bear with me, here goes...

I'm a 25 year old male, i'd definitely say i'm an average to above average looking guy..if i were to rate myself on a scale from 1-10, i'd give myself at least an 8, maybe a little more. The major dillema i'm having is i keep attracting nothing but "ugly" chicks..the majority of them being "fat". It's extremely rare that i am ever given vibes by hot women. Whether i'm at a club, bar, store, wherever, it's always fat/ugly women who either hit on me or check me out. The hot ones never acknowledge me, and i'm positive of that because i'll constantly be looking out of the corner of my eye to see if they're looking. Now, i'm not by any means dorky looking, don't look or act like one, and i dress with style. I see all the hot women with these ugly looking guys. I constantly see ugly and dorky looking guys taking the cake wherever i go. And a lot of these guys aren't rich either. I seriously don't get it. I'm a guy that puts so much effort into trying to make myself look good, but i come up empty handed all the time. Hot women HARDLY ever check me out or give me vibes, but yet they'll hook up with the not so good looking guys. I'm on a bunch of dating/intimate encounter sites, and all the hot chicks i e-mail never respond back. Any imput here, because i'm drained and about to go out of my friggin mind! Thanks.

 

[sixtyfwee]

Stop expecting them to approach you. Go do some work yourself.

Hot women are approached plenty, they dont need to chase men, perhaps the dorks they are with had the balls to approach them.

 

[No Escape]

Originally posted by sixtyfwee
Stop expecting them to approach you. Go do some work yourself.

Hot women are approached plenty, they dont need to chase men, perhaps the dorks they are with had the balls to approach them.

I go by vibes..i rely heavily on them..the only way i'll approach a chick is if i see her eyeing me and sending out vibes. That let's me know she's interested. 9 out of 10 times i'd say a guy who approaches a chick who isn't giving him vibes get's the cold shoulder. The internet is the only place where i'll make a move without the "vibes", because afterall how can you get vibes through the internet. But every time i e-mail chicks on these dating/intimate encounter sites, they never respond back.

 

[No Escape]

In the e-mails i send them, i'm careful of what i write. I don't say anything to turn them off.

 

[sapphire]

One thing I learned is that the hot chicks rarely give obvious buying signals even though a they may be interested in you.

The bottom line is if you see a hot chick you are interested in, by all means approach. Unless she is giving negative signals, my philosophy is that she is fair game. Waiting around for a hot chick to approach you no matter how good looking you are is a losing preposition. Also you may not be adept at picking up signals that are coming your way. The best pickup guys I know could spot a prospective target a mile away.

Also, I agree that the ugly guys you see with these hot chicks had the ballz to approach them.

 

[sixtyfwee]

Here are a couple of things I have noticed:

Women who aren't giving noticable vibes may still be interested. In my experience its more like 8 out of 10 DONT give a cold shoulder.

Women give vibes in ways that most men cannot pick up on, while you can learn this, its a lot of fun approaching anyway.

Hot 'interweb chicks' tend to be attention *****s. I dont like building a reality around a profile which they have probably embelished.

Internet work is hit and miss most of the time - post an example of the e-mail you are sending, there are a few tactics I have used to increase success rates online which may be applicable.

 

[No Escape]

Originally posted by sixtyfwee
Here are a couple of things I have noticed:

Women who aren't giving noticable vibes may still be interested. In my experience its more like 8 out of 10 DONT give a cold shoulder.

Women give vibes in ways that most men cannot pick up on, while you can learn this, its a lot of fun approaching anyway.

Hot 'interweb chicks' tend to be attention *****s. I dont like building a reality around a profile which they have probably embelished.

Internet work is hit and miss most of the time - post an example of the e-mail you are sending, there are a few tactics I have used to increase success rates online which may be applicable.

When e-mailing a chick, i'm usually short and to the point. My typical e-mails usually read as follows:

"What's up, i'd like to talk, become better aquainted. Check out my profile."

OR

"What's up, i'd like to talk. Check out my profile."

 

[No Escape]

Originally posted by sixtyfwee

Hot 'interweb chicks' tend to be attention *****s. I dont like building a reality around a profile which they have probably embelished.

Yeah totally, that's what i've been thinking to.

 

[sixtyfwee]

Hi Bud,

Your e-mail is very short, and being honest, if they are hot, they probably get about 20 of these a day. Where is the incentive for her to get back to you?

Try something like this:

----

I liked your profile, expecially X (personalise), you seem to be the type of woman who really understands herself. I could probably get to enjoy your company - but are we really compatable?

Think about a REALLY great kiss, and how that feels, just let that sensation wash over you from the top of your head, to the tips of your toes.

Now, what colour is that feeling?

If you get this, I suspect you might, then we should talk more......

-----

Attention wh0res will not respond, nor will dumasses - but then you didn't want them in the first place

 

[TillTheEndOfTime]

Originally posted by No Escape
The internet is the only place where i'll make a move without the "vibes", because afterall how can you get vibes through the internet. But every time i e-mail chicks on these dating/intimate encounter sites, they never respond back.

You message random girls on the internet not because you can't pick up vibes, but because you lack the confidence to approach them in person. You have to first come to terms with this and stop making up excuses. Approaching in person takes a lot more confidence than sending out a generic, impersonal e-mail.

You have to work on your confidence. Funny thing I read this story of someone's (forgot where) about valentines day. The guy worked out regularly and did not have a date on valentine's day. He went to the gym and saw all these good looking guys working out. They were all single as well! This shocked the guy. Upon talking to them and listening to them talk to each other, he noticed something very important. They were all WUSSY. The knew they were above average looking, but they were so wussy that they expected women to just jump at them. They were whining and moaning and it become obvious after a while why they were single. Sure good looks scores you points, but being a whining ***** also loses you a lot of points.

I understand where you're coming from. I was exactly like this until a year ago. I didn't have the confidence to approach, so I would just try messaging a bunch of girls on the internet. It's very naive to think that anything significant will come out of doing this. I did this for a few years throughout high school. Reading all the profiles, thinking she sounds good so I message her. I don't know what it is about the internet, maybe it's just my bad luck, but a lot of the girls you'll meet online will have serious issues. A lot of them just want positive reinforcement as well to feed their egos after being hurt by some guy.

I've worked on myself quite a bit over the past couple of years. I know I've changed a lot for the better. I got the confidence and drive now to approach girls and life head on. It's just a matter of finding a girl that I care to go after now. I live close to Toronto and you'd think that being close to so many people (and hence, girls) would make it easier. The girls from where I live however are very low quality from my past experiences. Serious issues and baggage and just plain psychotic behaviour (ie. suicidal).

 

[don_hollow_juan]

Gain initiative. I see you posting that you put a lot of effort in looking good and hoping that they will notice you AND somehow I don't think you put any effort in making things HAPPEN. Don't just stand by the river, watching it flow. Jump in. Start talking to women instead of checking out if they are attracted by you and give you vibes. Put the emphasis on her words & body language when you TALK to her, NOT when you pass by.

Best of luck, DHJ.

 

[No Escape]

Yeah, approaching hot women even if i'm not getting vibes from them is what i'm gonna have to start doing, otherwise i'll probably never get out of this situation. Are you saying though to just walk up to these women out of nowhere and strike up a conversation? Seems a little awkward. Wouldn't it be better to stand beside them for a minute or two, then make my move?

 

[No Escape]

Thanks for the replies so far guys, i appreciate it!

 

[TillTheEndOfTime]

Originally posted by No Escape
Yeah, approaching hot women even if i'm not getting vibes from them is what i'm gonna have to start doing, otherwise i'll probably never get out of this situation. Are you saying though to just walk up to these women out of nowhere and strike up a conversation? Seems a little awkward. Wouldn't it be better to stand beside them for a minute or two, then make my move?

There are many ways to go about this. This is something that reading will only help a little, but going out and trying it for yourself will help a lot.

One thing you absolutely have to realize is that 90% of the awkwardness is picked up from you by her. What this means is that if you're not confident and feel very awkward approaching her, she will feel this and she will become very awkward as well. The result is disaster. I've seen this firsthand. So either be all in or all out. If there is a lot of awkwardness and hesitation, you're getting nowhere.

Second, just make some observations about the surroundings and use that to strike up a conversation. This is very effective when you become smooth about it and they will never even know what hit them till you walk off with their number.

An example: I was sitting beside a girl outside eating a gyro while waiting for class. Then a bee came out of no where and flew in front of my face and almost landed on my gyro. I quickly got up and spun around. I turned to her and said with a smile "You can never be too careful, I may be allergic because I haven't been stung before.......and to be honest I don't want to find out!" That got both of us laughing and from there it was a piece of cake. Although I wasn't especially interested in her, but it was nice practice.

I also want to add one last thing. No matter how smooth you are, some women are plain hardcore b1tches. So dont expect positive results ALL the time, because it won't happen no matter how good you are. So don't let a "failure" get you down. If she's a b1tch, then she's a bi1tch and there is nothing you can do about the short comings of her personality. Just be glad you're not involved with that and go on with your life. Never mope.

 

[DeathDealer]

You got an ugly personality. Maybe that can do some fixing?

 

[No Escape]

Originally posted by DeathDealer
You got an ugly personality. Maybe that can do some fixing?

To everyone here, don't take me the wrong way, i didn't mean anything malicious by what i said when i refered to those guys as ugly and dorky...i'm not one to put people down. You're absolutely right Deathdealer. Eventhough i wasn't trying to be malicious, i still shouldn't have said that anyway. What i was trying to say was how i can't understand how i'm a good looking guy, yet i'm still finding it very difficult to hook up with hot women. I'm actually happy for all those guys who are hooking up with the hot women.

 

[astrojaevko]

try looking at the DJ bible and also going on the main site, i never go on the forums, look at how many posts i have but im always reading newsleter/bible/mainsite. its great stuff

 

[klaz]

The hot ones never acknowledge me, and i'm positive of that because i'll constantly be looking out of the corner of my eye to see if they're looking. Now, i'm not by any means dorky looking, don't look or act like one, and i dress with style.

Hot women. Lol. they don't need to acknowledge you. The average HB6-HB8 woman is approached maybe twice a day. They're checked out every day, and know that if a guy has any balls or quality he'll approach.

Also there's plenty of HB's that are actually shy. Either they're afraid of meeting eye-contact, or are afraid that they won't measure up to your image of them. dude. You need to approach. Being an AFC gets you nowhere.

I see all the hot women with these ugly looking guys. I constantly see ugly and dorky looking guys taking the cake wherever i go. And a lot of these guys aren't rich either. I seriously don't get it.

I didn't either for a long time. But I learnt. These guys approach the women. And the women are glad to be approached by guys with some intelligence, without the alpha bull**** that alot of good-looking guys have.

I'll say it again. You NEED to approach them, if you want a HB of any decent level.

 

[No Escape]

Sapphire, Sixtyfwee, you mention that i may not be adept at signals that are coming my way and women give vibes in ways that most men cannot pick up on...what vibes exactly are you both talking about?

 

[sixtyfwee]

This is a really tricky one to answer. Over the time that I have been doing this, I have developed a weird kinda sixth sense, I just know that they want to speak to me.

This has only been about by approaching loads of them in the first place. I will pay special attention to the signs I am getting this week and post them back to this thread.